Catch cheaters-fast

Disclaimer
All information in this document is for general informational purposes only. The
author has used his best efforts in preparing this document and makes no
representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy, applicability or
completeness of the information contained within. Furthermore, the author takes no
responsibility for any errors, omissions or inaccuracies in this document. The author
disclaims any implied or expressed warranties or fitness for any particular purpose.
The author shall in no event be held liable for losses or damages whatsoever. The
author assumes no responsibility or liability for any consequences resulting directly
or indirectly from any action or lack of action that you take based on the
information in this document. Use of the publication is at your own risk. Laws vary
from one state and country to another and it is your responsibility to do adequate
due diligence and ensure you remain with the limits of your own local laws. We
strongly advise against taking any illegal actions in your jurisdiction. This document
is not professional advice and should not be treated as such.
Reproduction or translation of any part of this publication by any means, electronic
or mechanical, without the permission of the author, is both forbidden and illegal.
You are not permitted to share, sell, trade or give away this document and it is for
your own personal use only, unless stated otherwise. Each document may be
marked with an invisible watermark to allow the author to identify the original
customer of the document.
By using this publication, you agree that you have read the disclaimer and agree
with all the terms.
© 2012 CatchCheatersFast .com

Catch Cheaters
Fast
http://www.CatchCheatersFast.com
© 2012 CatchCheatersFast.com
All Rights Reserved.

Contents
Introduction ..................................................................................................................................................5
How To Use This Book...................................................................................................................................6
What Is Cheating To You?.........................................................................................................................7
What Is Your Motivation?.........................................................................................................................9
Why Do People Cheat? ...............................................................................................................................11
How Cheaters Think................................................................................................................................12
Gathering Evidence.....................................................................................................................................14
Why Evidence Is Important.....................................................................................................................15
Beware Of Filling In The Blanks...............................................................................................................16
How To Tell If Someone Is Lying To You .................................................................................................17
Behavioural Changes...............................................................................................................................23
Dirty Tricks Cheaters Use........................................................................................................................39
Visual Changes ........................................................................................................................................41
Loose Finances........................................................................................................................................44
Electronic Evidence.................................................................................................................................45
Other Tactics...........................................................................................................................................57
False Alarms................................................................................................................................................62
Confronting Them.......................................................................................................................................63
How To Keep Yourself Under Control Emotionally.................................................................................63
Getting A Divorce/Breaking Up...............................................................................................................64
The Ultimatum........................................................................................................................................65
Possible Reactions To Anticipate ............................................................................................................69
Self-Discipline..........................................................................................................................................73
Speaking To The Other Woman/Man.....................................................................................................73

Afterwards ..................................................................................................................................................75
Monitoring The Reconciliation................................................................................................................75
Openly Communicating ..........................................................................................................................76
Healing Yourself ......................................................................................................................................76
Future Relationships ...............................................................................................................................77
Final Word...................................................................................................................................................80

Introduction
Welcome to Catch Cheaters Fast.
If you're reading this book then you have a relationship problem. You
suspect or know that your partner is cheating.
This book will help you to obtain the best outcome possible for you. It will
help you to first be absolutely sure that your partner is cheating on you
(sometimes, our suspicions are wrong) and then to gain hard evidence of it
that will give you the upper hand when you confront your partner. This is
important because, without it, the process of deception may go on and on
and on. Finally, it will help you to gain the best outcome for you, whether
that is resolution or parting ways.
This book is not some 300 page manual. While it is packed with a lot of
information, it has been done in a concise manner. I have written and re-
written this book several times in order to make it as slim as possible. Why?
Because I want it to be as practical as possible and not an encyclopaedia or
reference guide. I want to help you solve your problem as quickly as
possible. Judge this not by the number of words or pages but by the quality
of the advice given herein.
To your future relationship success,
Chris

How To Use This Book
The bulk of this book is about how to catch your cheating lover.
Right now, you have suspicions that your lover is cheating on you. But you
don't know for sure. If you did, then you wouldn't be reading this book. You
would have already confronted your partner with sufficient evidence (not
just pointing the finger alone) such that they would have been caught red-
handed and your relationship would be moving to the next stage.
The vast majority of this book is dedicated to catching your lover by
gathering hard evidence. The great news is that today in the 21st century
there is a vast array of different ways to catch people cheating. It is easier
than it has ever been to catch a cheater. People leave behind "footprints" in
their life all the time and the information age only helps with that. It is
pretty much near-impossible to cover your tracks. In fact, covering your
tracks normally leaves behind clues in itself.
Many other books will leave it there and, once you have gathered your
evidence, you will be left on your own. This book is not like that. I will also
show you how to gain the upper hand when you confront your partner and
how to steer the relationship towards the direction you want: be that
reconciliation, divorce or some other outcome. I will also tell you how to heal
yourself after the event because many of those who are cheated on become
so obsessed with getting evidence and fixing the relationship that they
neglect themselves.
But back to the main focus of this book: gathering hard evidence. It may
seem obvious but why do we need to do this? The simple fact is that right
now you only have a gut feeling that you are being cheated on. You lack
hard evidence. Gut feeling is often correct but you cannot live your life by
your gut because it has an uncanny ability to be wrong (this is why financial
traders and poker players who use gut and not logic may win for a while but
will eventually fail).
What you feel has helped you reach this stage but now you need to be
logical and confirm what you are feeling. That is what this book is all about.
As best as you can, suppress your feelings and don't get emotional. Gather
the evidence. When it comes to the confrontation/showdown, keeping your
emotions in check then too will also serve you very well. Relationships and
cheating with them are emotional by definition but the less emotional you

can be throughout, the better so please keep this in mind always or else
they will be your downfall.
What Is Cheating To You?
Before you go about finding out if your partner really is cheating and, if so,
gathering the hard evidence to confront them with, you first need to define
exactly what cheating is to you.
This may sound like a pointless exercise but cheating means different things
to different people.
For everyone, sleeping with another partner is definitely cheating. That
much is obvious. But what about these things:
 Flirting/chatting on Facebook.
 Having a dating profile.
 Using pornography.
 Developing a friendship with a member of the opposite sex.
All of these things are cheating or forbidden behavior in a relationship to
some degree.
Flirting with a member of the opposite sex is an obvious no-no. It is not
"harmless" as some may pretend. It often leads to a building of attraction
and going down the road of having illicit relations behind the current
partner's back.
And not just that - this is also an example of "emotional cheating". Cheating
need not be physical. If one partner gets to know a member of the opposite
sex (even platonically) then they are deriving an emotional relationship and
for most partners who are being cheated on this way, it causes severe
discomfort. Some emotional cheaters see no wrong in what they are doing
and if you are being cheated on in this way and feel hurt then you should
make it clear that you see it as cheating and do not find it acceptable.
Most good partners, even if they see their relationship as entirely platonic,
will respect the wishes of their partner as it is causing them needless
distress. A partner who refuses to change their behavior and believes it is
their "right" to have such relations does not respect your trust and may well
have a real, full affair in future.

The classic emotional cheater tends to enjoy spending time with a co-worker
of the opposite sex or engages in lewd talk and other chat via the internet.
They often feel that they are not getting enough attention at home and so
seek it elsewhere. Instead of working on their problems with you, they look
instead to get their emotional needs elsewhere and this is the crux of
emotional cheating: it is when a partner is going behind your back and
looking elsewhere to fulfil emotional needs, a definite no-no in any
relationship.
Sometimes, your partner may even be getting their emotional kicks from a
member of the opposite sex who is also spoken for. That doesn't justify their
actions or make it any less likely that they will fully cheat. On the contrary,
both parties are using this as a kind of false justification for their actions and
the chances of cheating actually increase.
Having a dating profile is a definite no-no. If you are in a relationship, your
profile should be deleted or marked as "unavailable". To show one's self as
available is to invite distractions that could lead to cheating.
Using pornography is a difficult one. Many men use pornography and this
includes during a relationship. If your partner is using pornography but
otherwise not deceiving you in any way then it's a matter of debate as to
whether this is unacceptable behavior or not. Different people have different
viewpoints on this. Having said that, many women do not like it. And if a
man has a pornography addiction then, like any other addiction, this is
definitely a problem and not healthy, especially whilst in a relationship.
The above examples give you some idea of what is cheating and what is not
cheating. But how else can it be more easily defined?
Frankly, cheating is something that a partner does in private and hides from
his/her partner. When you hide something on purpose and go behind a
partner's back then it's deceit and unacceptable in a relationship. This is the
best way to judge if something is cheating or not.
What about a partner's "right to privacy". You'll have to use your best
judgement on this one. In a marriage or a long relationship, there's no place
for a partner hiding something from the other. Everything should be out in
the open.
Even so-called open relationships can feature cheating. I do not approve of
open relationships thought they can work for some couples but only if both

parties are totally honest with each other. If a partner in an open
relationship decides to have an affair with someone else but without telling
their main partner then deceit is involved and this is a classic example of
cheating.
What Is Your Motivation?
Before delving into evidence gathering and the rest of this book, it's worth
stopping for a moment and considering what your main motivation is.
Are you looking to gather the proof that you need in order to nail your
partner red-handed and therefore end the relationship? Many people reading
this book will have this particular desire.
The reason to ask about your motivation is to actually get you to consider
that marriages and other relationships can be saved. Please keep an open
mind. It may well be that a better outcome would be to reconcile.
You need not make your mind up now. First you will have to gather evidence
so you have some time on your side. Don't commit to any particular course
of action just yet. This is especially the case because during the evidence
gathering process you will learn much more about your partner's cheating
(and about yourself) than you presently know.
Be prepared for some emotional ups and downs in the coming days and
weeks and try to keep your emotions in check and look at things as
objectively as you can. Ultimately, you will be better served by taking such a
position and that is, after all, the whole point of this entire exercise.
The Downside Of Snooping
There are some people who take the view that "what they don't know won't
hurt them". Such people have no qualms whatsoever about snooping on
their loved ones and digging for dirt, even if it means rifling through all of
their partner's personal and private affairs. I am not judging such types of
people but they do exist.
Most people, on the other hand, do feel some guilt and other similar,
negative emotions from planning and carrying out such intimate

investigations. Let's face it, you will be going behind your partner's back and
you are also yourself committing an act of deceit in order to try to uncover
and get the proof for a much larger act of deceit. This is a classic "ends
justify the means" situation.
When you go behind your partner's back like this, you are breaking their
trust. In fact, it is highly likely that when you confront them that they may
themselves accuse you of being as untrustworthy as you think that they are.
So, how can you handle such accusations and how can you act in the best
way?
Partners should not snoop on each other under normal or even slightly
difficult circumstances. You cannot break their trust simply because you are
illogically paranoid.
However, it is acceptable to snoop on your partner if you have good reason
to. Basically, if you have a solid hunch that your partner is cheating on you
then you are perfectly justified in snooping on them. As you have good
reason to suspect them of cheating, breaking their trust is perfectly justified
if it will help you to confirm the greater, ultimate breach of trust in your
relationship (cheating).
There is absolutely nothing morally wrong in doing this. Any person would
do the same. To act in this way can potentially save the
marriage/relationship and, frankly, to not act in this way would be a
dereliction of your duty as spouse/partner and to any children of yours. So
long as you are not paranoid and your hunch is justified then you are doing
the right thing. If you are still not sure then ask one of your friends for their
opinion. Beware though, as best friends are not uncommonly the other
woman/man in an affair!

Why Do People Cheat?
It is important to understand why people cheat. This is not a judgement on
their behavior but simply an attempt to understand exactly why it is that
they do.
You might think that this is a pointless exercise but I can assure you that
you will benefit greatly from doing so.
First of all, by getting into the mind of a cheater you can better understand
why they are doing it. It is not because they are "bad" or "evil". A series of
events led them to eventually cheat and there are always reasons for
cheating.
Often in a marriage or relationship, the partner cheated on has to take some
responsibility for the cheating, for example. I am not for one moment
suggesting that cheating is the fault of the person being cheated on. Of
course not. But in a good marriage or relationship that is worth saving, both
partners have to admit their faults and express what they can do better in
order to resurrect it or else cheating will occur again. That is a simple reality.
Understanding why people cheat or specifically why your partner is cheating
will also allow you to better predict their behavior and better catch them
cheating or prevent them cheating again. It will also put you in the best
position to be open and honest if you want to reconcile, as mentioned.
Generally speaking, there are two types of cheaters.
The first type of cheater is nothing special. He or she is no different to
everyone else out there. No matter what some people say, everyone has the
propensity to cheat. When someone better comes along and a person starts
to see that they can fill an emotional void that their regular partner cannot
then attraction between the soon-to-be-cheater and the other man/woman
starts to build.
The instant reaction of most people to such attraction is to not want to
follow it up, to try to suppress it because most people do not want to cheat.
However, attraction, love, lust - call it what you will - is extremely powerful.
It is responsible for the survival and mass multiplication of the human race.
Despite a person's best intentions, their emotions can overwhelm them and

send them down the road of deceit. The further down this road they go, the
even harder it becomes to do an about turn and go back the way that they
came.
My point is that cheating is a mistake that almost anyone can make. If
someone cheats once, they do deserve a second chance. It was basically a
mistake, albeit a grave one, but a mistake all the same. As emotionally hurt
as you are, you need to see it as such. Your partner may still genuinely love
you.
The second type of cheater is the serial cheater. The serial cheater is the
person who cheats again and again and again, not just with the same
partner but will also have done with previous partners. They may even have
several partners at the same time.
In the vast majority of cases, the serial cheater is a man. This has a lot to
do with the psychology of men. Men like sexual abundance and to
experience a wide variety of sexual partners. Though they have emotional
needs too, serial cheaters may be less emotionally attached to their other
women (or men) compared to the average cheater (man or woman).
These types of cheaters tend to think: "what they don't know won't hurt
them". They may actually love their "primary" partner but there is clearly
some lack of empathy at play here or else they would not cheat so
prolifically, even after they get caught.
Serial cheaters are extremely dangerous. If you uncover evidence that your
partner is a serial cheater i.e. that this is not the first time that they have
cheated, then the best thing to do is to break the relationship and not
consider reconciliation. Considering the latter is likely to lead to you being
cheated on yet again.
How Cheaters Think
To better understand the mind of the cheater, you need to understand how
cheaters think.
Many of those who suspect they are being cheated on are routinely lied to,
either directly or indirectly, by their cheating partners. So why do cheaters
lie?

The first reason is because they don't want to admit that they are wrong.
The cheater, wrapped up in emotions, does not usually think logically. Even
when confronted with strong evidence of their wrongdoing, they will often
still deny it. This is why it is important to collect the strongest, hardest
evidence available because a cheater will often keep lying until they are
forced to face irrefutable evidence. As mentioned, most usually this is
because they simply do not want to admit that they are wrong. Even if they
are not normally stubborn or arrogant, cheating can do this to a person.
In fact, they are not lying just to the cheated but also often to themselves.
Cheaters often delude themselves and do not realise the error of their ways
until they finally "snap out of it" in the face of such rock solid evidence.
Another reason is because they don't want to lose you. This may or may not
be love but cheaters, especially men, will often not want to lose their
primary partner. It could be that both partners fulfil different needs or it may
be the case that the cheater is actually in love with both partners. Such
deceit serves only to fulfil a primary, emotional need, a selfish need and is
because the cheater instinctively is trying to avoid personal loss.
My point is that cheaters will go to great ends and commit high levels of
deceit not just behind your back but even in your face during confrontations.
Most cheaters are ordinary people who chose the wrong path emotionally
(not rationally) and cheating turns such ordinary people into contorted, often
unrecognizable versions of their former self. Try not to judge the cheater for
the Jekyll/Hyde character that he or she has become, just recognize it as a
part of the standard cheater's psyche.

Gathering Evidence
It all starts with gathering evidence. Without evidence, you don't have a leg
to stand on. It's not the only thing you need to be concerned with (later I
expand on how to confront your partner, gain the upper hand and how to
heal yourself) but it's an absolute necessity and you will be powerless
without it.
The great news is that you don't need to hire a private investigator. I have
personally spoken to some private investigators and they are seething at
people like me who tell those being cheated on how to catch their lovers by
doing their own investigations. Even just ten years ago, private investigators
had special investigative skills that nobody else had and were also needed to
tail your lover around the streets in their car, waiting for the right moment
to take incriminating photographs with a telephoto lens.
The reason that you don't need a P.I. today is simply due to technology.
Technology has made it infinitely easier to catch a cheater. Today, it's
almost impossible to cheat and not leave behind any sign whatsoever and
this is to your advantage.
Roughly speaking, evidence comes in two forms, electronic and non-
electronic.
Electronic evidence tends to be the more definitive. When you have a visual
record of cheating or even just an audio recording then their treacherous
acts cannot be denied.
Electronic evidence is often, though not always, the kind of rock hard
evidence that is admissible in a divorce court and will allow you to obtain the
best outcome possible, be that financial, custody of your kids or some other
desired possibility. Electronic evidence is usually so clear-cut that you cannot
be accused of being paranoid and you will therefore have the upper hand
over your partner and steering the outcome of your confrontation in the way
that you want.
The other type of evidence is the traditional, non-electronic form. Most of
these are changes in your partner's behavior. After reading this book, you
will also have a good idea of how to spot when someone is lying. On their
own, they don't necessarily mean anything. For example, working late more
often does not necessarily mean that your partner is cheating.

But when several of these changes occur all at once then they are a reliable
indicator that your partner is cheating on you. For example, if your partner
works later more often, isn't available when you call him/her at work and
has a new habit of always showering straight away as soon as they get
home then these actions together should set off alarm bells in your head.
The downside to traditional, non-electronic types of evidence is that they are
not definitive. There is a small chance that you are wrong, there is usually
(but not always) nothing particularly overt that proves cheating and the
evidence is therefore often not good enough to convince a divorce court.
This also makes it easier for your partner to accuse you of being paranoid if
this is all you can show at the confrontation.
Why Evidence Is Important
So you've just learned about the two basic types of evidence and know that
both are useful but one is "harder" than the other.
You know that you need evidence before you confront your lover.
But why is evidence so important?
First of all, you need it to confirm your suspicions. You may think you know
for sure that your lover is cheating on you but you don't know that. If you
did, you would already have all the evidence that you need. A hunch is
different from knowing for sure. Besides, as the evidence starts to emerge,
so could a different picture of your lover altogether. It may not be as bad as
you had first thought or it could be even worse.
Second, without concrete evidence a cheater will always deny their deeds
and will only finally admit their wrongdoing when the evidence is so
overwhelming that they are forced to admit the truth. A cheater will lie for
as long as possible, mostly to cover themselves but even to, paradoxically,
try to avoid hurting your feelings.
Third, you need solid evidence simply to cover your own ass. If you confront
your lover with only half the evidence you need then you, rightly, will look
like someone who has abused their trust by snooping on them and don't
even know for sure that they are cheating on you. They may even break up
with you on their own accord but you will have no chance of obtaining the
outcome that you had wanted.

Fourth, if you confront a cheating lover without full evidence then they will
have the upper hand. They will know that you are not 100% sure that they
are cheating and for the future they can work better at covering their tracks.
You will basically have tipped them off too early. They may even gain a
perverse pleasure from knowing that you suspect them but don't know for
sure and cheat on your to an even greater degree.
With full evidence, you can deliver a short and sharp shock to your cheating
lover's system that will force them to face reality. You won't hear any
excuses or any accusations back. They will come completely clean and both
of you can move forward, whether that's for a reconciliation, separation or
some other conclusion.
How much evidence do you need? That's a matter of opinion and every
situation is different so you will have to judge for yourself. Clearly, things
like video or audio recordings of actual sex cannot be denied. But
sometimes, you may not be able to obtain such rock-hard evidence.
If you confront your lover with less than ideal evidence (e.g. you've always
been on birth control but you found him in possession of condoms) then
your cheater is likely to try to lie to you and come up with some excuse.
They will try to exploit you by putting doubt in your own mind. If and when
this happens, you cannot falter. If you are 99% sure then do not let the 1%
chance of being wrong cast your mind into doubt or else the cheater will
exploit that and get away with the affair red-handed while you are left
confused. When you are pretty damned sure, don't doubt yourself.
Beware Of Filling In The Blanks
Another important reason to gather evidence is to get the full picture of what
exactly is going on. Right now, if you are being cheated on, then you are
being deceived. And when a person is being deceived, they just don't know
exactly what is happening.
The way that the human mind works if it doesn't have the full picture is to
interpolate. This means that your mind will "fill in the blanks", so to speak.
Right now, you have a lot of blanks in your head. As you gather more and
more evidence and fill in more of the blanks with real, solid evidence then
the picture in your mind will become much more accurate. To start off with,

the picture in your mind is almost completely wrong. It's a bit like imagining
what a place will look like that you have never seen before and then later
realizing just how wrong you were.
Filling in the blanks happens by default, it's in our nature. And yet it remains
a dangerous game. Never act based on whatever assumptions you have
made by filling in the blanks.
For example, your spouse who is cheating on you may be pursuing others
who are not even interested in him/her and have no intention of starting a
relationship, let alone maintaining one. It is also quite possible that the other
man/woman does not even know that your partner is married or otherwise
committed to you/taken.
This latter false assumption in particular is one of the most common ones.
Many a time has a man cheated on gone round and caught his wife in bed
with another man and proceeded to beat him to a pulp before finding out
that he did not even know that the woman was married. The husband then
lands himself in jail, loses his job and never recovers from this setback. This
serves to show as just one example of how dangerous it is to fill in the
blanks.
Bottom line: don't jump to any conclusions and don't emotionally react to a
false picture in your head. Get the evidence and remain as unemotional as
you can.
How To Tell If Someone Is Lying To You
Electronic surveillance gives you a chance (though not guaranteed) to get
hard audiovisual evidence of cheating. Behavioural and other changes are
clear signs of cheating. But it also pays to know how to spot when someone
is lying.
Because ultimately that's what cheating is. It's deceit, betrayal and the
abuse of trust. If you agreed with your partner that he or she could have
another partner (as in an open relationship) then that is not cheating.
Deceiving and lying behind your back are the real acts of cheating. If you
can therefore tell when your partner is lying, you are really seeing their
cheating in action, live before your very eyes.
There are many ways to spot if and when your partner is lying to you. In this
section I have listed some of the best ones.

If you confirm that your partner is indeed lying profusely to you then you
can make many deductions and "fill in some blanks" in their back story. You
will also have confirmed enough deceit on their part that means that
gathering greater evidence is definitely the right course of action.
Remember, you can collect this information without having to necessarily
challenge them about cheating. For example, when your partner returns late
from work, you can casually ask them a series of seemingly innocuous
questions and see how they respond. What they say, where their eyes point
and other body language will give you a good idea if they are lying or not.
In fact, you may not even have to carry out any further investigations if you
feel that they are being completely truthful to you and are not deceiving you
after all. Yes, some people are expert liars but it is incredibly difficult to hide
the signs of lying and few people can do this, whether naturally or
intentionally.
A Good Question To Ask That Will Reveal If They Are Cheating
This method works very well but I don't advise that you use it in order to
gather evidence. You should only use it when you confront your partner.
Basically, if you flat out just ask your partner "are you having an affair" or
"are you cheating on me" directly, without any warm-up or warning then you
will get an instant reaction that, 9 times out of 10, will reveal what is really
on their mind.
If your partner cannot look you in the eye when they deny that they are
cheating then this is a major sign that they are lying to you. Looking away
like this is commonly done by people who are trying to avoid being scanned
while telling a lie. In doing so, they actually give the game away. It's an
instinctive reaction that, for some people, is very difficult to avoid. It is also
often a sign of nerves which is common for a liar. Someone telling the truth
and with nothing to hide has no reason to suddenly get nerves when faced
with this question, even if directly and spontaneously.
Does this mean that if they look at you then they are not cheating on you?
Look at the next section for an extended look at eye movement and lying
and the tactics cheaters will use on you, not just when surprised with a
direct question but also during your entire conversations.

Another reaction to look for in response to a direct question is anger. If your
partner flies off the handle and has an angry response to your direct
question then this is a reliable sign that they are lying. Why? Because anger
is a liar's way of trying to deflect the accusation onto you. The liar thinks: if I
look angered by the suggestion then it will look convincing because it is not
uncommon for people to react with anger when accused of something - after
all, they feel insulted.
The big problem with this tactic is that the exception to this general rule is in
a relationship. If someone has not cheated and are accused of cheating then
they should not react with anger. Even if they have had marriage or
relationship troubles, someone accused of cheating should react with
understanding and reassure their partner that, despite their troubles, they
still love them and would never cheat on them. Such accusations often end
up being a moment of relief and love for the couple.
Anger is a major sign of cheating and, even if not, it can be a sign that the
partner may actually cheat in future instead. Indeed, by asking them such a
question, they may even use it in future as justification for them to cheat
and a way of getting back at you.
Anger is also often accompanied by flat-out denials. In a healthy
relationship, understanding should follow and not a direct retaliation such as
a denial. Be very suspect if you only hear denials and no attempt to build
bridges.
Signs Of Lying In The Eyes
As mentioned, the eyes are a dead giveaway when it comes to liars
attempting to deceive you. When the eyes or any other part of the body give
away lies, this is known as a "tell". Tells are extremely hard to hide,
especially those from the eyes. This is why many pro poker players prefer to
wear dark sunglasses when playing so as to not give away their hand or the
strength of their hand and be better able to bluff others and therefore win
more.
The classic eye movement that has been known for a long time, is very
common and is commonly taught to detectives is that the direction of glance
when the liar talks will reveal if he or she is talking from memory (the truth)
or inventing a story (lying). If they look up and to the left, this allows them

to access the portion of the brain responsible for memory and recall. If they
look to the right, they are using the right-hand side of the brain involved in
imagination.
One good way to test for this is to ask your partner a question based on
something in the past where they have no reason to lie and will access the
left side of their brain using recall. Then ask them a question for which you
expect a lie and see if the eyes switch direction fully to the right. If this
happens, you have an extremely reliable indicator that they are lying.
There are also some different eye responses to look out for. For example, if
your partner responds to you and their eyes start to flutter rapidly then this
can indicate lying. Sometimes a liar will even rub their eyes vigorously or
cover their face with their hands.
Many liars know that lying can be seen in the eyes and they will attempt
(usually badly) to compensate for this. Look for wide and lingering staring
that is out of the ordinary especially when they are verbalizing sentences
that you believe to be actual lies.
Verbal Signs Of Lying
It's not just the eyes that you have to look out for. Liars talk much faster
and they are much more likely to stammer or stutter under stress. They may
also have irregular pitch (wavering or heightened) due to anxiety. If your
partner rarely does this but you notice it during passages of speech that you
think are extremely suspect then there is a good chance that they are
fibbing.
Another sign is the unusual use of filler words such as "um" and "ah" and
hesitation. Look for unusual lack of contraction of words. For example, your
partner might say to you "I was not with a woman" or "It is not like that"
instead of using contracted words such as "isn't", "wasn't" etc. Even though
they don't mean to specifically emphasize specific words (which is normally
why people don't contract phrases), they may be doing so unintentionally,
on a subconscious level, and hence displaying tells.
When liars lie they are also effectively adlibbing and trying to make things
up as they go along. This is another reason why they hesitate and use filler
words, usually instinctively. However, they will also use other techniques
such as repeating questions that you ask of them. Just a few precious
seconds are enough they need to finish their juggling act and use their

imagination to come up with a suitable lie to feed you. A liar is like a boxer
on the ropes, ducking and diving, buying time to the bell and trying to use
their limited time and imagination to come up with whatever evasive
manoeuvres they can.
Because liars are ducking and diving and making things up as they go along,
they frequently make contradictions. These are often so small and minor
that they may go unnoticed by both parties as they occur. If you hear such a
contradiction, you can either go for the kill and use it to expose your partner
there and then, or you can keep quiet and hope they didn't realize it. You
can only do the former if the contradiction is a severe one, otherwise your
partner can exploit it and come up with some other lie to explain it.
Your lying partner may even attempt to change story in order to explain the
contradiction but this usually makes them look even more complicit. You will
definitely have the upper hand if they do. Watch their reaction when you
claim that they are lying and changing their story - the expression on their
face will normally be a very honest one and show either a guilty look or an
innocent one. The layers that were previously masking them will be
uncovered when they are in vulnerable situations such as having to explain a
potentially incriminating contradiction. Generally speaking, the more under
pressure a person is, the less well they can hide their true intentions so get
a good read of their face in such situations.
Body Language
The eyes and speech patterns aren't the only things that give away a liar.
The rest of the face and the body also give valuable clues as to whether your
partner is lying or not.
A forced smile is a common sign of lying. Smiles can be faked but few people
do this well. A real smile comes from the eyes. It can be faked while in front
of a mirror and with time to practise but reproducing it at exactly the
moment when needed is extremely difficult to do and most fake smiles can
be spotted a mile away if you study the smile.
Liars frequently maintain a defensive position when lying. The arms are less
expressive than normal and may become drawn closer to the chest. If sitting
down, the posture may be hunched more than usual.
When the arms/hands are used to make a point, the movement becomes

forced and is often delayed compared to their usual mode of expressing via
gesticulation.
Liars frequently fidget. Look for rubbing of the ear, the eyes, scratching of
the chin or any kind of frequent contact of the face with the hands. People
do normally touch the face when they talk but it is usually only on occasion.
When they lie, this becomes frequent and much more obvious.
A liar will also avoid contact with the person they are lying to. In a
confrontation, this is not a good indicator as you would not expect much
contact anyway. But if you are having an otherwise normal conversation
with them then an unusual and distinct lack of physical contact can indicate
lying. This is because the liar feels guilt at touching or fears being given
away through forced contact.
Also, don't forget that some people are prone to flushing. If you know that
your partner's face flushes when they are embarrassed or drink, for
example, then it is highly likely that their face will flush when lying due to
nerves. One big giveaway not often mentioned is to look at the ears. These
become bright red in such people when they are nervous and are therefore
lying.
Microexpressions
You may have heard of microexpressions. Microexpressions are a type of tell
that are extremely difficult to hide.
Unlike more obvious tells such as a forced smile, microexpressions last only
a fraction of a second. They can betray a wide range of both positive and
negative emotions.
Although they are highly accurate (and interestingly, have even been used
to see which couples had long term potential and which did not), because of
their very short duration it is difficult for an untrained person to read them.
It requires extensive training to get good at reading microexpressions,
something that is frankly beyond the remit of this book. Your time is also
better invested in other activities if you want to catch a cheating partner.
Microexpressions are just one of the ways that your gut instinct tells you
that you are being lied to or deceived in some other way. Even though you
may not remember seeing the specific microexpression, your subconscious
mind processed the visual signal and gave you a feeling that your partner

was showing guilt, shame, fear or anger which are telltale signs of lying and
cheating.
Behavioural Changes
There are a wide variety of behavioral changes that can alert you to the
possibility that you are being cheated on. Although some are more telling
than others, the key here is not to look for any specific ones, nor to look for
a specific number of these changes.
Instead, you need to consider the bigger picture. The more of these changes
that you have noticed, the more likely it is that you are being cheated on.
The types of changes will also help you to fill in some of the blanks and
determine the nature of the affair. This will help you greatly when following
up with electronic evidence gathering.
There is no better way to check for these changes than to run through this
very long and detailed list that follows, think back to see if any of them
apply to your relationship and keep your eyes and ears open over the next
few days and weeks to see if any of them emerge.
Won't Kiss Goodbye When Leaving For Work In The Morning
Relationships are dynamic and nothing stays the same forever. Small
changes occur frequently and often without you realizing.
One such change that can be indicative of an affair is if you used to kiss your
partner when he or she left for work in the morning. Sometimes, this may
be sporadic and doesn't happen every single day.
But if you've noticed that it just doesn't happen at all anymore then it could
be a sign of an affair. Especially if the other partner never initiates the kiss
or remembers to, it could be intentional on their part as they feel guilt or
shame in doing so.
You can also see this same guilt tripping playing out in their actions if they
are generally much less affectionate with you than they were in the past.
Flirting With Others

This happens particularly often when a man has a renewed sense of self-
confidence thanks to his lover. He may flirt suddenly much more than before
while out in public, even simply things such as smiling at women you both
walk past in the street, in the mall etc.
Cheating women may flirt more often with men that they meet e.g. store
workers, and if challenged, pretend that they weren't flirting at all and that
you are overreacting.
As with many of these changes, the key is to look for sudden changes, out of
the blue.
Sex Only When They Want It
Changes in sexual behavior are common when someone is having an affair.
They can be quite varied too. The key here is the unusual step change in
habits rather than what the change is.
One example change is that your partner may only initiate sex when they
want it - whereas previously they may have been more understanding and
aware of your own feelings and desires, even if they weren't particularly
motivated on that occasion.
The old excuse of "I'm too tired" is not to be trusted. Sex can still happen
even if you're tired and it helps with getting even better sleep afterwards.
"I'm tired" usually means something else altogether.
Never Initiating Sex
The opposite can also happen. If your partner never initiates sex any longer
and it is always you who does then this can be a sign of cheating.
Note that this is different to losing interest in sex altogether which can be
indicative of something different altogether such as depression or some
other mental or physical health problem. A cheater still has a healthy sexual
appetite but just chooses to practise is both at home and away. They may
lose interest in you but will still be willing to have sex - they just choose not
to initiate it anymore, for a number of reasons.
Sex Less Often

Simply having sex less often can be a sign of cheating. Although nearly all
couples have sex less often as the years roll by, this can lead to cheating.
This is particularly the case if you have lost some intimacy in your
relationship and just don't make love as much as you used to and your
partner is a man. Things may seem fine and you may think that your partner
is content enough at still getting semi-regular sex but most men are not like
this and, unless depressed, need a high level of sexual activity, typically
around 3 times a week minimum or else they will grow disgruntled. In such
cases, your man should already be expressing his dissatisfaction. If not and
everything appears fine then he may be cheating which may or may not
include the use of prostitutes.
Sex More Often
Sometimes a partner can want even more sex than usual. This is especially
the case when men cheat on their partners. They may be having such
frequent sex with their new partner that they have gotten used to
ejaculating every single day or close to this frequency. They may even have
a much larger appetite for sex than before due to the affair invigorating
them.
If their other woman/man goes away for a week or two then they will still
feel like they need to get their release and you may notice a sudden
voracious appetite in your partner. Especially if this only happens for a short
period, it's a good indicator that something is amiss.
Inability To Ejaculate
Men find it easy to reach orgasm but can only have so many in a day. If you
notice that your partner's ejaculations are smaller, take longer to reach or
that your partner is even suddenly having great difficulty reaching
ejaculation/orgasm then this is a sign that they have been ejaculating
elsewhere, either with a lover or with pornography.
Taken to the extreme, some men may even find themselves temporarily
impotent, not realizing that their entire sexual stamina had been depleted.
This would normally suggest lots of ejaculations earlier on the same day.

New Moves In Bed
A partner showing new moves in bed is a classic sign of cheating. You are
the best judge of what is peculiar in your sex life but, generally speaking,
evolution of a couple's sex life is quite slow and gets even slower as the
years roll by. Sure, there may be the occasional attempt to re-inject passion
but if your partner suddenly comes up with some new moves that are totally
unexpected and out of the blue then you should be very suspicious.
Cheaters do this often because they often confuse their different actions
between partners. It is quite difficult to consciously remember that one
partner likes it one way in bed and the other prefers it another way.
Instinctively, a cheater will often make such glaring errors without even
realizing it.
If you want, you can innocently ask them after sex (while you are cuddling)
where they got these new moves from. Almost certainly they will say
something along the lines of "from the internet". What they say is not
important. What is more important is for you to check their eyes and facial
expression for signs of lying. This should quickly confirm whether or not your
suspicions were justified.
Sometimes new moves in bed can appear if a man is using more
pornography. He may not have a woman but he is still "cheating" in the eyes
of most women. That said, this is a better form of "cheating" than getting
physical with a new partner unbeknownst to you.
New Kissing
It's not just new moves in the bedroom that can suddenly appear out of
nowhere. Every couple kisses differently and his or her new affair may have
taught them new moves that they are starting to use on you.
Kissing is a very subtle art and whatever is on the mind can be difficult to
just ignore. It is not always so simple to prevent yourself from kissing in a
particular way.
Heading To The Bathroom As Soon As They Return Home
If your partner heads straight to the bathroom as soon as they get home
they may claim to have a weak bladder or something similar.

However, this is a common tactic employed by cheaters who want to check
themselves over and maybe even wipe themselves down with some toilet
paper and water i.e. to freshen up.
This commonly happens when the cheater and his/her lover have had
exciting, spontaneous sex somewhere without access to cleaning facilities.
Calling You By The Wrong Name
This can happen, either in or out of the bedroom and even in someone's
sleep. There's almost no excuse for it. If you hear it, I recommend you
immediately question your partner. They will be under immense pressure
and will not be able to hide a guilty face if they are culpable.
Suddenly Improving Appearance
As a relationship or marriage goes on, it is quite normal for both partners to
become more comfortable with each other and this often leads to a
relaxation of grooming and taking care of one's appearance compared to the
early days.
If your partner suddenly starts caring more about their appearance as if they
were in the early days of your relationship or even like when you were
courting then this can be a major warning sign.
It is extremely likely that they are doing this for you unless you have
expressed dissatisfaction with their appearance recently. If you haven't, then
they could well be doing it to impress someone new. If they are not cheating
already then they may be on the prowl and looking to cheat or thinking
about it.
Especially be on the lookout for new clothes that appear out of nowhere that
your partner's other woman/man may have bought for them. Sometimes a
cheater will even wear the clothes of the husband/wife of his other
woman/man! In such cases, you should be able to spot that the clothes are
not only clearly ill-fitting but that they never get worn again and were only
used as an emergency e.g. there was an accident with the clothing they
wore in the morning when they left the house.
It is not just grooming and style that you should look out for. If your partner
suddenly wants to lose some weight and get fit then this is just as big a

warning sign. Ask them why they are doing it: if they say something like
they are just fed up of being overweight or giving some other similar
reasoning that appears genuine then that is one thing but if they try to
quickly dismiss it and change the subject then you should suspect them of
cheating.
Sudden Step Change In Personal Hygiene
Personal hygiene is something that can slip as a relationship gets older and
one or more partners get more comfortable with each other or, beyond a
point, start neglecting each other. Usually this is something that happens
with men rather than women.
This is a very similar process to that just mentioned, regarding appearance.
If your partner is suddenly caring more about his or her body odor, washing
more frequently and taking other steps to improve their personal hygiene
then they could be trying to impress a new lover or the new lover may have
insisted that they have better hygiene.
Another reason for such an improvement in personal hygiene is an attempt
to cover their tracks. For example, it is not uncommon for a partner to not
wash after having sex. But by keeping excellent personal hygiene, a
cheating partner can cover the signs of being physical with someone else.
Although this can extend to washing off of the other person's bodily fluids
(e.g. using a douche to get rid of semen), for the most part this is about
getting rid of sweat and pungent genital odors that are secreted by special
odorous sweat glands that can be found in the groin and armpit areas and
are stimulated during sex.
A change in your partner's showering/bathing habits should be treated with
high suspicion. Most people do not change their showering/bathing habits
significantly over the years. If they have been lazy and showered barely
every two days and all of a sudden start showering daily (despite your not
telling or persuading them to) then an affair is highly probable.
These changes in personal hygiene can also extend to a change in pubic
hair. This can also be considered a type of grooming. If your partner has for
years sported a clipped or a shaved or a "natural" look and it suddenly
changes without them having even mentioned it to you before then you
should be extremely suspicious. It may have been done as a surprise for you
but this is unlikely.

Calling Less Often
In the early days of a relationship, it may have been normal for you and
your partner to talk often on the phone, at any time when you are both not
together (e.g. at work).
If your partner calls you less often then it usually means that they have lost
some interest in the relationship. However, if this hasn't been communicated
then they may be getting their emotional outlet elsewhere i.e. by having an
affair, but still want to conveniently keep you hanging on.
It can also mean that they don't have time to call you anymore because they
are occupied with their new partner. For example, your partner may have
always called you in the late afternoon before leaving work. However, many
cheaters use this time to leave work early, get physical with the other
man/woman and still get back home at a reasonable time. You can try
calling them in such cases and see if they are always "stuck in a meeting"
which is usually their co-workers covering for them.
Even if your partner is not cheating, the fact that they are rapidly losing
interest and you are not openly discussing it as a couple is a warning that
your partner may cheat on you soon.
Keeps Getting "Wrong Number" Calls
If your partner keeps getting calls from "wrong numbers" in your presence
then that is a big warning sign that they are really fielding calls from the
other woman/man but obviously cannot talk and thus pretend that someone
dialled the wrong number.
Your partner may try to brush it off, especially when it happens again and
again. They may say something like "damn, my number must be similar to
someone else's" or "strange, I must be on a marketing list" or something
similar.
Whilst this may be genuine, more often than not it is a lie. Use the
techniques mentioned earlier on catching a liar in the act to see if your
partner is lying. Check their delivery of their excuse. If it's a little "off" from
what you would expect then you should trust your gut.

Won't Answer The Phone When You Are Around
Another similar sign of cheating is if your partner always has their phone set
to silent and sometimes they don't answer their calls at all.
They may say something like "that's work, I'm not speaking to them now" or
similar, and make it sound like they want to spend quality time with you
without any interruptions. If you can get access to the phone then it is very
easy to verify if they are lying or not: check the number and see who dialled
it.
If it is someone they know (as they claim) then an address book entry
should show.
If it's a number that is not labelled or has a curious label, quickly write it
down. There are techniques that you can use to find out who the suspect
number belongs to and I will show you how to do it in the section on
"electronic evidence" below.
Many cheaters set their phone so that it still vibrates in case they really do
get a genuine call that they have to answer but the bigger cheaters tend to
turn the vibrate facility off and try to keep an eye on their phone lighting up.
They will even pretend that they didn't see the screen light up and
intentionally miss calls.
Lowering Tone Of Voice When Entering The Room
Similarly, a particularly bad and exposing tactic that a cheating lover can use
is to suddenly lower their tone of voice (even to a whisper) when you enter
the room unexpectedly and they are on the cell phone to their lover.
Clearly, they are trying to hide who they are talking to. They cannot carry on
in the same playful manner as normal and instead have to pretend that they
are speaking to a friend or someone from work or something semi-official
(e.g. the electric company).
When a person suddenly lowers their tone like this it is quite obvious. It is
well worth interrogating them right away to check for signs of lying in their
eyes, face and voice. Ask them who it was but don't make it look like you
know they are up to something. Act innocent in your questions and check for
signs of lying. You can get harder evidence without giving away your

suspicions using other methods such as electronic methods.
It is quite possible that your lover could have a legitimate reason to lie to
you. For example, they may be planning a surprise for you. But if your
birthday or anniversary is not imminent and you cannot think of any reason
why they would need to innocently lie to you then you should be very
suspicious.
Especially if they hang up the phone soon after lowering the tone of the
voice then this is a major red flag.
Hanging Up On The Landline
This used to be a common sign of cheating but now that most people have
their own personal cell phone then this is not a great source of evidence of
cheating.
Still, the other woman/man in the affair may have some reason to call on
the house landline. If you answer and the lines goes dead then it's a dead
giveaway that the person panicked instead of giving some excuse such as
"wrong number".
These days this is more likely to happen if you and your partner pick up each
other's cell phone calls when the other is not around e.g. in the shower. If
someone says it is a wrong number but the call log indicates that this
number has an address book entry and/or it's not the first time that a call
has come from this number then this is a solid indicator of probable
cheating. Check the call logs further to see how many calls have been made
from this number in the past and for how long. If the person who called is a
member of the opposite sex then you can almost be sure that your partner
is cheating and you just spoke to the other woman/man because people
usually do not ring a "wrong number" twice.
Extreme Possessiveness Over Cell phone
A cheater never lets their cell phone out of their sight. Some non-cheaters
do this too but a cheater will go even further. They will usually also lock their
phone so that a pin code needs to be entered before the normal functions of
the phone are available.
Cheaters who are chained to their cell phones in this way can get extremely

angry if they catch you using their phone. Remember, as mentioned earlier,
sudden anger is one of the major signs of lying. If your partner reacts in this
way then they likely have something to hide.
They will try to justify their anger by claiming that "they have a right to
privacy". I suggest you counter this with the argument that it's simply a
phone and all you were doing was looking. Or you can pretend that you were
running out of call time credit and just wanted to use your partner's phone
to make a quick call. If you are busted going through their SMS messages or
otherwise "snooping" you will have to try and pass it off as just being bored
and checking out his or her phone and that you weren't snooping. Throw it
back on them and reiterate that "it's just a phone" and you were only bored
and that they should just relax.
The smart cheater will realise their error and quickly calm down, relieved in
the thought that they have not been discovered. If they are still angry then
they are not the smartest of cheaters. Remember, a cell phone is just a
phone. Sure, you can do more besides these days but, ultimately, they are
still just phones. They are not ultra-personal devices. Nobody cares about
"the right to privacy". This is just an excuse because they have something to
hide. And if it's not cheating behaviour that they want to hide then it could
be something even more extreme such as embarrassing or even criminal
browsing habits. The more angry your partner remains, the more suspicious
you should be.
Staying At Work Late
This is one of the most common signs of cheating. The cheater simply leaves
work (often a little early), heads off to see the other woman/man and then
gets home around two or three hours late and blames it on work.
The reason that this excuse is so commonly used is because its easy. These
days, it is not uncommon for people to have to stay at work late as our
employers demand ever more of us. Another reason is that affairs are often
conducted with co-workers and evening is the ideal time to conduct an affair
with someone from the same workplace.
If you find this happening you should try calling your partner at work. Even
if they usually call you from their cell phone, make sure you have their direct
line. Call them around 20 minutes after they call you to see if they pick up
their phone. If they don't, they are probably having an affair.

Beware of good excuses. For example, your partner may claim that they
have to work late at the end of every month e.g. "end of month" or "end of
quarter" time. Just because this sounds like a plausible excuse doesn't mean
they aren't in fact selling you a good fib and cheating on you.
New Interests & Hobbies All Of A Sudden
If your partner suddenly develops new hobbies and interests, especially ones
that don't involve you, then you should be suspect.
Sometimes in life, anyone can suddenly develop the motivation to do
something new, to refresh their lives. It may be that this is all that your
partner is doing.
However, if their hobbies and interests exclude you and your partner uses
excuses to stop you attending or seeing for yourself or won't share these
hobbies and interests with you then it is a major sign of potential cheating.
For example, if your husband starts to develop an interest in playing poker
despite never having liked any card games before and says that it is a game
"only for the boys" or "a boys' night in" then this is a classic example
because it both excludes you and it allows him to get out of the house for a
few hours.
Of course, your partner may have genuine hobbies and interests. They may
genuinely want some boy or girl-only time hanging with their friends. Just be
aware that it is the perfect excuse for time for an affair.
One of the best ways to find out if their behavior is genuine or not is to ask
your partner about how it went after the event. Use the techniques
mentioned in the previous section to see if they are lying or not. Interrogate
them with a variety of questions that require quick answers but do so under
the guise of you being interested and missing them while they are away so
your own intentions are not revealed.
Under pressure, it will be very difficult for them to hide the tell-tale signs of
lying. Look for the eye movement of a liar making things up on the spot as
well as stuttering, stammering and trying to change the subject really
quickly. If your partner is genuinely not cheating on you then they will talk
calmly, slowly and not feel under pressure as they will love sharing the
details of their new hobby with you. A cheater/liar will do the opposite.
Also try to attend with your partner at least once. Just say that you want to

see what they are talking about. If they get angry in their attempts to keep
you away (and immediately apologize) then take this a a red flag and a
strong indicator that they overreacted in their attempt to stop you finding
out more about what they really do.
Sudden Change In Music Tastes
Most people do not suddenly develop new tastes in music. If you have been
with your partner/spouse for a number of years then you will almost
certainly know all their musical tastes already.
If they suddenly start listening to totally new genres of music then you
should be highly suspicious. Most intelligent cheaters would try to be careful
not to do this. But by spending a lot of time with their lover and being
introduced and exposed to new music, they may slip up or simply think that
they are not arousing any suspicion with their actions.
Arguments Out Of The Blue
A tactic commonly employed by cheaters is to have arguments, seemingly
out of the blue.
Most couples argue from time to time with severe arguments being less
frequent than minor quibbles. But if you notice that you are having severe
arguments much more often than in the past and it has been a sudden step
change and most of the arguments are started by your partner then it could
be a sign that they are cheating.
For one, a cheater will often do this because they feel guilt about cheating.
They can assuage their guilt by apportioning some of the "blame" to you so
their minds will conjure up faults of yours or exaggerate extremely minor
things and blow them into something that they are not. By making you and
your actions the source of the argument, it helps them to feel better about
themselves and puts them in a better light in their own head - they then see
their cheating and justified. An example of this is when a cheater takes an
innocent comment of yours and pretends to be extremely offended, thus
trying to deflect the blame onto you. If in doubt as to whether your
comments really were offensive or not, try asked a friend that you trust.
This is a particularly good indicator when they create arguments so severe
that they lead to him or her leaving the house to "cool off" for a few hours.
Many cheaters do this and immediately go visit their lovers. Most of the

time, this is an intentional plan but sometimes cheaters actually create such
hot-headed arguments to secure this outcome but without even realizing it.
The entire plan is executed on a sub-conscious level and automatically.
Partner Suddenly Changes Passwords On Everything
Especially if you have been in a long relationship over several years or a
marriage then it is quite normal to leave your computer accounts logged in
and even share your passwords with your partner in case they occasionally
need to use one of your accounts.
It is fairly normal for a password to change on a single account. If you notice
that they suddenly change on all your partner's accounts then something is
clearly up. There is a small chance that they may have done so as part of an
attempt to increase their password security but most people don't think like
this. It is far more likely that they have something to hide.
Finding out what exactly they are hiding can be done by snooping on them
and I cover some of these methods in the "electronic evidence" section. It is
less easy to just directly ask them for their password because you will need
to have a reason for doing so. If you have a genuine one, it may be worth
asking, to see how readily your partner gives up their new password and to
see if they quickly change it again over the next few days.
From the cheater's point of view, changing all passwords at the same time is
a bad tactic to cover your tracks because the act itself immediately raises
suspicion. Such a cheater will probably have been careless elsewhere too
and you have a good chance of easily uncovering the truth using all the
available methods in this book compared to someone who is more careful.
New Email Accounts
Uncovering this evidence is covered in greater detail in the "Electronic
Evidence" section but something that you may discover quite easily without
doing much digging is your partner suddenly using a new email account.
You may accidentally discover this in the browser history or you may be able
to spot the colour of the new web sites your partner is visiting from a
distance and see the common look of popular webmail sites such as
Live.com/Hotmail, Yahoo or Gmail.
New, dedicated email accounts are often used by cheaters. This allows them

to keep their original accounts visible to you as if to show trust and that they
have nothing to hide when, in reality, they are using a new, dedicated
account to communicate with their other woman/man.
A Sudden Interest In Computers And The Internet
These days most people have some ability with computers and the internet.
The recent proliferation of smartphones has helped integrate them even
more in our lives. Those around the age of 35 and below especially
commonly use the internet.
The older generation are not so au fait with the internet. There are some
people who don't use the internet at all, either at work and/or in their
personal life. If your partner never or rarely used the internet before and did
not express any particular interest in it but is now suddenly showing a
massive interest in it then you should be extremely suspicious.
Generally speaking, those who are happy without computers and the
internet and from the over 35 age group do not suddenly develop a
burgeoning interest in it. A friend may introduce them to it and entice them
to use it more often when they are shown things like movie and TV series,
YouTube and other interesting things. But most of the time, they will not
take to the internet like a fish to water. The steep learning curve of using
computers puts them off.
However, when such a person is cheating then they have a major incentive
to suddenly get connected. If your partner (and you) has never shown an
interest in computers and the internet and suddenly they have a smartphone
that is always by their side, for example, then you should be extremely
suspicious. It is highly likely that they have been introduced to the
technology by a lover and by being connected they have a great incentive to
use it, one that overrides their natural disinclination towards technology.
You can use some of the methods in the "electronic evidence" section to
investigate their exact internet use and find out why they are suddenly so
interested in it. Is it a genuine, innocent interest or something more?
Spending More Time At The Computer
Simply spending more time on the computer is a common tactic employed
by cheaters who may be chatting to their lovers. This is especially the case if
they claim to be working and tell you to go to bed before them and they will

join you soon.
If you listen to the sound of the keyboard and mouse then you can usually
tell if your partner is emailing, surfing internet sites or chatting with
someone. Don't forget that most of the big email sites and Facebook have
instant messaging built in too.
Dropping Hints
Paradoxically, a cheater can actually be remorseful about what they are
doing, even if they choose to continue their actions. The cheater's mind is a
very confused one and a common method for them to assuage some of their
guilt and feel better about themselves is to drop what they think are obvious
hints about the affair but without directly saying so
Sometimes, these hints are dropped not because they feel guilty but simply
to selfishly try and mitigate their deeds. For example, they may mention to
you one night something like "so my buddy's wife was treating him really
bad, no wonder he cheated on her" or "did you hear about Kevin's wife, he
was cheating on her - gee, it's incredible that a woman was being cheated
on for so long but had no idea".
Dropping hints is strange behavior in the sense that you would think that a
cheater would not want to reveal an affair. But the mind of a cheater is not a
normal one. They exist in their own warped sense of reality that is very
difficult to anyone else's and they act very bizarrely in an attempt to
understand and make sense of it.
More Attentive Than Usual
An affair is usually well established by the time a cheater starts to suddenly
pay his/her cheated-on partner much more attention than they did in the
past.
The cheater does this because they are usually acting on feelings of guilt and
it doesn't occur to them that their actions are going to be construed as
peculiar and out of the ordinary and thus give them away. They are too
caught up in their emotions to realize that.
You can go ahead and ask your partner why they are doing this. Probably
they will reply by saying "I've been neglecting you and I'm sorry" in the
hope that you won't suspect anything. Look carefully to see if they are lying

or not using the techniques mentioned earlier.
One of the most common and easy ways that men will do this is to buy their
partners lost of gifts. If you are a woman who suspects your
husband/boyfriend of cheating and they are buying you lots of new gifts
when they never used to then you should strongly suspect an affair. If the
attention was innocent and genuine then, unless your partner is totally
lacking in imagination, it is unlikely that your man would try to win back
your heart through his wallet.
Hiding Bills & Statements
Even though more and more companies are going "paperless" and not
issuing paper bills and statements anymore, most still do. If you suddenly
don't see any of your partner's credit card and cell phone statements
anymore then your partner may have done it intentionally. If they are hiding
them from you then something is up.
The smarter cheater will simply turn off paper billing and, if you enquire, tell
you that he has switched to online statements only. In this case, they could
be genuine. As always, casually mention the lack of statements recently and
check their eyes, voice tonality and other body language cues to see if they
are lying or not.
Daydreaming/Gazing
A cheater has a lot on his mind. Not just thinking nice thoughts about their
other woman/man but also about their predicament, how to cover their ass,
their future, how to keep you from discovering the affair and much more.
Though this is hard to quantify, many people who have been cheated on
have said that their cheating partner often appeared to be distant, looking
as if they were thinking or gazing or dreaming. They are clearly preoccupied
with thoughts far away, even when with their partners.
This will give you plenty of occasions to ask "what's up" and your partner will
almost always say "oh, nothing". If you dig deeper and ask them to share it
with you then they will likely make something up on the spot. Being under
pressure when they do this, make sure you scan them for signs of lying.
Strange Behavior Of Co-Workers

If you have cause to meet your partner's co-workers e.g. in the office,
outside it (when picking up your partner in the car) or at some other
function; then you should be on the lookout for nervous behavior or strange
glances.
When two people know each other intimately but are trying hard not to show
how familiar they are with each other then their behavior is often forced and
you can spot this if you look carefully.
Sometime you may even find that one co-worker in particular acts very
strange towards you. They may be overly nice or even giving out a negative
vibe. This is more likely to happen if you are a woman and your
husband/partner is cheating with another woman in the office. Some
women, try as they might, are just unable to suppress their competitive and
possessive instincts.
Dirty Tricks Cheaters Use
Cheaters are a bit like addicts of drugs or even cigarettes. Their minds
become warped and they can act completely out of character and in
insidious ways to keep the affair alive and undiscovered. It's a bit like the
smoker who offers cigarettes to his friend who has just given up smoking.
Even though he knows that it could make his friend relapse, he'll do it
anyway such is the grip of the addiction.
Cheaters will use a vast array of dirty tricks to maintain the affair. It is only
when they are confronted with overwhelming, hard evidence that they can
snap out of this and often they will be genuinely remorseful and wanting to
reconcile after the cheated-on partner helps them to realize this. Some of
these dirty tricks have already been covered in the last section but here are
several more for you to look out for.
Working Late Often
Already mentioned earlier, this is the classic dirty trick that most cheaters
use to see their lovers. This is especially common if an affair with a co-

worker is being committed.
Hanging Out With Friends More Often
If your partner/spouse suddenly claims to be going out in large groups with
friends and never did before then it could be innocent. It could be that they
are simply becoming more social.
However, such gatherings exclude you. Groups usually meet at their
destination, in the city, for example. It is unlikely that you will see any of the
supposed group. This makes it a great cover for a cheater meeting up with
his/her lover.
A good way to put your partner on the spot and test them under pressure is
to ask who they are going out with and where. Most cheaters have not
thought this through beforehand and will be making something up on the
spot.
If they give you a very generic answer then you should be suspicious
because a genuine response would be much more specific.
Going To The Gym More Often
A simple but effective dirty trick that many cheaters use is to go the gym
more often. Sometimes, they may actually be working on their appearance
which, as mentioned earlier, is a sign in itself that they could be cheating.
However, some of the time they will be using it as an excuse to take a bag
out of the house containing clean clothing. This allows them to see their
lover, have sex and shower and when they come home smelling of shampoo
and shower gel they will just claim that they washed after working out.
Showering When Getting Home
When the weather is warm and it is common to sweat a lot during the day
and drink plenty of water, cheaters will often shower as soon as they come
home from work.
Despite never having done this before, they will suddenly claim to have new
cleanliness habits and that they cannot stand feeling sweaty and sticky and
even that they want to be clean for you. This makes it easy for them to

pretty much run to the shower as soon as they get home, even before they
kiss you. This way, you never get the chance to notice any suspicious scents
lingering on their body.
Accusing You Of Cheating
It is not uncommon for a cheater to accuse you of cheating. They are
attempting to exploit the perceived unlikely situation of someone with high
morals accusing others of cheating actually being a cheater themselves.
And, of course, it also makes them feel less guilty if the confused cheater
can somehow even rationalize it and convince themselves that what they are
actually saying is justified, even without any evidence or reason to be
suspicious of you.
Talking About A Co-Worker Often
A spouse may talk about the person they are seeing on the side if they are a
co-worker. Although they may do this by sheer accident, feeling an
emotional need to talk about them as they are excited by them, it may be
an intentional strategy. It may be an attempt to drop you such big hints
that, if you don't take them, then you are as culpable in the affair as they
are, simply because you didn't see the signs and do something.
Of course this is perverse logic but that is the way that the cheater's mind
works.
Talking About Cheating
Another similar method is to keep dropping hints about a friend who has
been treated badly by his/her spouse that "forced them" to have an affair.
This is another way to drop hints and backwards rationalize their illicit
behavior.
Visual Changes
Most of the obvious signs of cheating are behavioral but sometimes a
cheater leaves behind visual sign without even realizing it. Here are some of
the more common ones.

Fingernail Scratches
When a man cheats on his partner, his new lover may get so passionate
about sex that she drags her fingernails in his back.
If this is something that you have not done recently but you notice long
scratch marks then this is a clear sign of an affair. There is simply no way
that a man could have scratched himself in that way.
Dirty Laundry
Signs of an affair can be left behind in underwear. Women may secrete
semen that can be seen in her underwear. Be warned though, it may simply
be other types of vaginal secretions. If you don't often have sex and semen
would not be yours then you can do a biological test for it. More on that,
later in this book.
Whether your partner is a man or a woman, it's still worth looking at dirty
underwear to see if it looks out of the ordinary. More stains and strange
smells indicate something out of the ordinary. You may even be able to
detect traces of perfume or cologne. Just remember that stains and smells
can also be explained by something very simple such as a minor
bacterial/fungal problem.
Another reason to check dirty laundry is to rifle through your partner's
pockets. Sometimes a cheater will forget to empty their pockets of an
incriminating receipt from somewhere when they were out with their new
lover.
Women's Underwear Under The Car Seat Or Other Objects
This tends to happen when a man is cheating on his wife with another
woman. The other woman always wants the man to leave his wife and may
go to extraordinary lengths to make this happen including exposing the
affair.
It is not usual for her to do it by directly communicating with the wife. Such
an intentional act could break the affair up to. Instead, she will try to expose
the affair using more subtle means and the classic one is to leave underwear
or lipstick or some other item under the passenger seat of his car.

This is done in the hope that when the wife adjusts her seat or kicks her legs
back that she will suddenly find these items, the affair will be exposed and
hopefully she will leave her husband.
If you find such items, you know that not only is your husband cheating but
you also have someone who is trying to compete against you for his
commitment.
Car Seat Is Always In The Wrong Position
Intelligent cheaters make sure that or their lover resets the position of the
car seat before returning home. If you notice that the car seat is always in
the same but different position then there is a strong likelihood that your
partner is cheating.
The only real excuse for this is if they often have a genuine passenger in the
seat such as a co-worker they pick up on the way to or from work. If they
don't, then there is really no good excuse for this.
Stray Hairs
It is very difficult to keep control of stray hairs. They get everywhere. They
are especially easy to notice if your partner's lover has different hair length,
color and thickness to anyone else in the house.
If you find strange hairs in your house, especially in the bathroom, you
remove them and wait and see if they appear again. Sometimes a stray hair
can be brought in from outside e.g. from sitting on a bus, but if you see
more than one and you see the same types of hairs returning again and
again then your partner has been inviting their lover over while you are out
of the house.
If you find such hairs in the bedroom, it's pretty much guaranteed that your
partner has been cheating on you.
Stray hairs also cling easily to clothing. Again, a single stray hair or two
doesn't mean anything but if you see the same types of stray hairs always
attached to their clothing then this is highly suspicious.
Missing Buttons

Any button can become loose on a shirt and eventually be lost but this is
usually a gradual process. Especially if you iron or wash your partner's
clothes then this is something to remain vigilant on.
Buttons that suddenly go missing, especially on high quality clothing, have
often been torn off by a lover in the throes of passion not thinking about the
possible consequences.
Your partner may even attempt to do a repair job themselves in the hope
that you don't notice. However, it is very easy to spot a button that has
been repaired as the sewing does not normally look as neat as the buttons
that were attached with a machine.
Smell Better Than They Did When They Left The House
Not a visual change per se but one involving a different sense: smell. If your
partner normally applies fragrance before leaving the house in the morning
then it will lose its potency during the day. If they return home but they
smell too good to be true (and possibly even better than before) then it
means that they have been trying to mask a smell or have showered.
Assuming they have not been to the gym during the day then there is
usually little explanation other than they had sex at some point during the
day and not with you and have subsequently showered and/or applied
fragrance to get rid of/mask the smell.
Loose Finances
Affairs are not cheap. Going out and motel bills all add up. And although
more women work these days, the brunt of the costs of having an affair
generally fall on the man rather than the woman. For this reason, if you
suspect your man of cheating then he will likely be spending much more
than usual and this offers a way of discovering the affair. On the other hand,
if you suspect your wife or girlfriend of cheating then her spending habits
may not change much at all and this method has much less value.
The first thing to check is credit card statements. Although more people are
going "paperless", a great many still receive paper bills. Your partner may be
more careful and not leave them hiding around but you should take
advantage when they are out of the house to rummage through drawers to

find the evidence you are looking for.
These days, more and more people are using debit cards instead of credit
cards. The same applies for those too: go hunting for bank statements and
interrogate each entry. The difference with bank statements is that you can
also look for ATM withdrawals. These usually state the location of the
machine so that the account holder can make sure that no fraud has been
committed and will allow you to work out where your partner was. If they
have not been careful then you can easily see if they have been in a strange
location that they lied about which will almost certainly point to an affair.
What if your partner has switched to paperless bills? Then your only chance
to get hold of this information is to use some of the electronic methods
mentioned in one of the next sections.
Also check your partner's cell phone statements. They may be itemized and
list each and every call made which will make looking for strange numbers
called to/received from extremely easy work for you. Or they may have
recently changed their plan to one with many more minutes. Cheaters will
do this when they start to quickly eat up their allowance. If you can't find
any statements then you may even be able to obtain one direct from the
phone company if you are married but this depends on the company and the
laws in your locality.
Electronic Evidence
The signs of cheating we've covered so far in this book are incredibly
powerful and when considered together are incredibly powerful. It would
satisfy almost anyone that your partner is cheating. Your chances of being
wrong are miniscule.
But to gain the upper hand you need hard-hitting, 100% conclusive
evidence. If you want your partner to snap out of his or her confused
cheating mindset and face reality and agree with your demands (whether to
reconcile or not) then you need electronic evidence. If you want to have
your way in the divorce courts and get the best outcome for yourself then
you are almost certainly going to need electronic evidence.
There are all manner of different electronic methods available. Don't be
fooled into thinking that some of the more complex and/or information-rich
methods are superior to the simpler ones. As you will soon see, some of the
best methods are incredibly easy to use and cheap. Why spend money on

expensive gadgets if you don't need to?
You may think that cheaters are surely on top of their game and delete as
much electronic evidence as they can. You would be wrong! First of all, we
leave a huge digital audit trail of information behind us every single day. It
is actually quite hard to stay on top of everything. Just a single lapse is
enough to expose behavior that is evidence of cheating.
Secondly, the longer that cheaters get away with their behavior, the more
confident they become about keeping it a secret. This confidence, though, is
misguided and as a result, cheaters will become more careless. They will
stop being as careful as they were before. They may keep doing simple
things but the more inconvenient safeguards will be forgotten about. It
doesn't occur to them that they could be caught until it is too late.
Before looking at the different electronic methods available, please
be aware that the laws on electronic surveillance differ from one
jurisdiction to another. It is perfectly legal in many areas to carry
out such surveillance techniques. However, some methods may not
be permitted in some areas. It is your responsibility to check your
local laws and to obey them.
Things To Check
The first things to check are those that are free and already available to you.
I have already covered in a previous section itemized cell phone bills and
bank/credit card statements. Look for patterns of unusual transactions.
Many cheaters buy a new, cheap prepaid cell phone precisely for cheating
purposes. It won't be a smartphone but a free or $20 cheap phone that they
will most of the time keep on their person. However, sometimes a cheater
will put it elsewhere (e.g. if their lover has gone on holiday with their own
spouse). Look in the backs of drawers, in closets and in other hiding places
and you might get lucky. Cheaters are no different to most people and get
lazy when it comes to hiding things so don't be amazed to find it in such an
obvious place such as in a drawer and behind their underwear or socks.
If you have a shared account for automated toll payment you should check it
to see if your partner/spouse has been making journeys that look out of the
ordinary and to where. Most cheaters will pay for tolls by cash but it only
takes one slip-up to reveal that something is not right. You can interrogate

them over a strange entry and scan their face, eyes and voice for the
standard signs of lying.
Voice Activated Recording Device
There is perhaps no other electronic method of collecting evidence that is as
good as the voice activated digital recorder. If you look at the combination
of cost, ease of use and strength of the evidence collected then not much
comes close.
In the old days, personal recorders used to record to tape and some models
could be noisy. Not so today. All modern digital recorders record to solid
state memory inside the device and also have a much higher capacity which
means that you can wait much longer before you need to retrieve the device
and play back its contents.
The idea behind using a voice activated digital recorded to catch a cheating
partner/spouse is that you can record conversations between him/her and
their lover. Sometimes you may only be able to get one side of the
conversation e.g. on the telephone. At other times you may capture not just
love talk but even sex acts as they happen.
Because digital recorders have a voice activated function, it means that they
record only when sound can be heard. They are set to start recording almost
immediately after a voice or other sound starts and to pause when there is
silence. This means you can leave the device in place for longer.
Where are the best places to leave such a device?
The first is underneath your bed. Secure it in place on the underside with
strong tape or something similar. For example, if you are going away on
business or to see a friend (you might want to plan this on purpose) then
your partner/spouse will see this as the perfect opportunity to invite the
other woman/man over.
Everything will be recorded. Conversations, sex and anything else relevant.
If the other woman/man comes over then you are guaranteed to get the dirt
that you need as rock solid evidence.
An even better place to secure a recorder is in your partner's car. There are
a number of places that you can put it. Although the underside of the
dashboard has many great places, it is too close to the engine and the

recording quality will be low except when the engine is switched off.
You can put it at the bottom of the passenger seat back pocket. This is great
for recording quality but you run the risk of discovery (albeit a very low
chance).
Better still, if you can, fix it to the underside of the passenger seat, away
from the front where a hand reaching around for the adjustment lever might
accidentally discover it. Use strong tape to secure it.
A voice activated digital recorder in a car will almost certainly capture
incriminating evidence. You will get your partner's side of phone
conversations and you should also get conversations between your partner
and their lover which will unmistakably be incriminating. Such conversations
cannot be explained as "to a friend". If they have sex in the car you may
even get additional evidence but, frankly, this isn't necessary. Content of
conversations alone will be enough.
You can buy one of these devices from any electronics store. Try places such
as Radio Shack or even Walmart. They cost only around $40 to $50.
Remember, the above is legal in many states and countries but may
be illegal in some jurisdictions. You are responsible for carrying out
your own research and due diligence to comply with your local laws.
Cell Phone
The cell phone was once nothing more than a convenient device for making
and receiving calls when away from home. Today, it is much more. For many
people, it has become a communication device that feels like an extension of
themselves. If your partner is cheating, their cell phone is a huge weak link.
This is because it can give you everything that you need to incriminate your
partner. It can tell you who they have been communicating with and for how
often. It can reveal the text and voicemail messages that they have sent
back and forth between each other. It can even sometimes reveal anything
and everything that has been done on the phone, down to every single
keypress and menu selection.
Yes, some cheaters take precautions and purchase a prepaid cell phone that

they use only for communication with their new lover. But the vast majority
of cheaters do not go to these lengths. People are human and they
inevitably take the lazy route.
All the methods of gaining electronic evidence listed below assume that you
have access to the target phone. You must gain access to the phone in order
to carry out these methods. For some, you need barely a minute or two but
for others you need a bit longer so you may want to wait for your partner to
forget to take their phone to work or wait until they are in the shower, doing
the gardening outside, fallen asleep or some other extended period when
you can gain access.
Some cheaters also control access to their phone using a pin code. You
should attempt to discover this by asking to borrow your lover's phone to
make a call (say that you have run out of minutes/credit on your own). Do
this by grabbing the phone and asking to make a call and quickly mentioning
that it says there is a pin and asking what the code is, quite innocently. If
your partner asks to hand over the phone then challenge them playfully and
with a smile by saying "what, you don't trust me?"
Remember, the above is legal in many states and countries but may
be illegal in some jurisdictions. You are responsible for carrying out
your own research and due diligence to comply with your local laws.
Reverse Lookup
One of the easiest and simplest methods of gaining evidence from your
partner's cell phone that doesn't require any advanced knowledge of
smartphones is to see a list of numbers recently dialled and received.
Every phone has a call log facility that shows the last few numbers dialled or
received. You can normally drill down to a menu showing the time and date
of the call as well as the call length.
The best thing to do is to wait for your partner to go into the shower.
Although some cheaters will even take their phone into the shower with
them, many will not because the humidity can cause problems with the
phone. This gives you around ten minutes to quickly check the phone out
and look at the call log.
Do no waste too much time. First, write down all the numbers that are
unlabelled (don't have a corresponding entry in his address book). See if

Catch cheaters-fast

Recommended

Recommended

More Related Content

What's hot

What's hot (13)

Similar to Catch cheaters-fast

Similar to Catch cheaters-fast (20)

Recently uploaded

Recently uploaded (20)

Catch cheaters-fast