1. The document outlines rules for a partner during the World Cup, including that they must read about soccer and not complain about lack of attention from their partner while watching games. 2. The television is solely for the author to watch soccer and the partner cannot touch the remote or distract from games. 3. The partner is only allowed to pass by the TV if crawling on the floor without distracting from games. 4. The author will be fully engaged with games and unable to perform other tasks, and expects the partner to keep food and drinks available without interference.

1. Dear Wife/ Sw
D weetheart/Gir Friend/ Par
rl rtner/whome
ever it may co
oncern,
1. Beetween 11 June and 11 July 2 2010, you shou read the sp
uld ports section of the newspape so that you a aware of
er are
what is going on regarding the World of Socc
w n e cer, and that w you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail
way
to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you w be totally ig
o d will gnored. DO NO complain ab
OT bout not
reeceiving any att
tention.
2. During the World Cup, the tele
d evision is mine, at all times, w
without any excceptions. If you even take a g
u glimpse of the
reemote control, you will lose it (your eye).
3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I d
f don't mind, as l
long as you do it crawling on the floor and
o
without distracting me.
w
4. During the game I will be blin deaf and mute, unless I re
es nd, equire a refill o my drink or s
of something to eat. You are out
t
of your mind if you expect me to listen to you open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the ba that just fell
f y u, e aby
on the floor....It won't happen.
n
5. It would be a go idea for you to keep at le
t ood east 2 six packs in the fridge a all times, as well as plenty of things to
s at
niibble on (excluding your body parts), and pl
y lease do not m
make any funny faces to my fr
y riends when the come over
ey
to watch the gam
o mes. In return, you will be allowed to use th TV between 12am and 6am unless they replay a good
, he n m, y
gaame that I miss during the day.
sed
6. lease, please, please!! If you see me upset because one o my teams is l
Pl p of losing, DO NOT say "get over it, it's only a
T r
ga
ame", or "don't worry, they'll win next time" If you say th
t ". hese things, you will only mak me angrier a I will love
u ke and
yo less. Remem
ou mber, you will n
never ever kno more about football than m and your so called "words of
ow me o s
en
ncouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce.
"
7. Yo are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to m during halftime but only w
ou e me when the
co
ommercials are on, and only i the half time scores is pleas
e if sing me. In add note I am sayin "one" game;
dition, please n ng
he
ence do not us the World Cu as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time t
se up o together".
8. Th replays of th goals are ve important. I don't care if I have seen the or I haven't seen them, I want to see
he he ery em
th
hem again, Man times.
ny
9. Te your friends NOT to have a babies, or any other child related partie or gatherings that requires my
ell s any d es
at
ttendance beca
ause:
a) I will not go,
)
b) I will not go, and
)
c) I will not go.
)
10. Bu if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a gam we will be there in a flash
ut, o e me, h.
11. Th daily World Cup highlights show on TV e
he s every night is ju as importan as the games themselves. Do not even
ust nt
th
hink about saying "but you ha already see this...why do you change the channel t something w can all
ave en on't to we
watch?" because the reply will be, "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".
w e, s
12. An finally, please save your expressions suc as "Thank Go the World C is only every 4 years". I a immune to
nd ch od Cup am
th
hese words, because before a after this co
and omes the Cham
mpions League, Premier League, Italian League, Spanish
,
Le
eague, KPL, FA Cup, Euro Cup etc.
A p,
/S
P/
By the way if yo get stuck on the road call t Police or AA
y ou the A.
Th
hank you for yo cooperation.
our