Cover of book: "Spiritual Healing for a Woman\'s Soul"

1. Running head: Business is Everywhere 1
Business is everywhere (Please use all caps for headings
Charles Walker
COM/285 (use caps and write the class description) BUSINESS COMMUNICATION
June 3, 2010
Daphne Brown (use designations for instructor) example: Daphne E. Brown, M.A., M.A.

2. Running head: Business is Everywhere 2
Every company has business communication because (passive and unnecessary
wordage) without communication there is no business. Many (how about People
wonder?) people in life wonder what it takes to have business communication. Business
Communication is considering the best negotiation an individual can have while
communicating on a professional level. Throughout this paper, the author (don’t use
third person to describe yourself) will discuss the roles, trends, and message types of
business communication he uses on a “day to day “basis.
The (In the) role of business communication the author plays at work are focusing on
the customers’ needs and teamwork. Focusing on what (awkward phrasing) our
customers’ need helps me to manage on observing the parts we ship out making sure
they are not damage or ruin. Using (remove using) teamwork helps us move faster and
makes the job easier working together. Teamwork is needed and use (used) in all the
big companies. Because (sentence can’t begin with because) working with others
makes the job easier than one individual doing everything themselves. For example, if
one person ran a company and did everything nobody (do not use words ending with y
in APA scholarly writing) knew how to do anything. What will happen if this person
happens to get sick? Nobody (use we) will know what to do. This is why it is important
to have teamwork than one person knowing what to do. (Awkward sentence)
The trends the author (the author is third person) has (have) seen in his workplace
are rapid rate of change; this is going all day long. Awkward sentence. Madison Kipp
has many machines which make different parts and these machines sometimes
happened to break down. If this were to happen this can cause the author (use me in
this case) to work on another machine until the machine is back running. There is no
one who works on the (wordy, try to limit the words used in this sentence) same
machine every night, their always a change of pace. For example, if there is a big order
of some motorcycle parts we will have to run the machines which make the parts for the
motorcycles instead of the machine which makes lawn motors.
The message types for the results of these trends are a learning experience. (use
and apostrophe and include an experience’s) Operating from one machine to another is
a learning experience for the author. He learns how to do more than one job which is
good to know. Because when a worker knows how to operate all the machines is
always work for this worker. There are plenty other message types such as bonuses
and raises which result from using these trends. The more a worker knows the valuable
they are to the company. For example, (if) let’s say a worker knows how to work every
machine the company will bend backwards to keep them working because they love
someone who knows how to get the job done.

3. Running head: Business is Everywhere 3
In conclusion the author loves working for Madison Kipp Company. They are a
company who (that) makes motors and parts for huge companies. Business
Communication is a part of life and is needed almost everywhere. Taking responsible
roles and using trends are successful in business communication. This can make a
worker climb the ladder and apply for big jobs throughout the company. So always
remember every company has business communication because without
communication there is no business.
WRITTEN ASSIGNMENT FEEDBACK
Student/Group Name(s) Charles Walker Date June 9, 2010
Course Business Communication Assignment Business Communication Trends Paper
Content/Development 5 Points
Subject Matter: Good job with covering the questions for the assignment.
Make sure that you following the directions regarding the
Key elements of assignments covered
The number of words expected for your assignment.
Content is comprehensive/accurate/persuasive
Displays an understanding of relevant theory Charles, (work to develop your major points and details in you
paper. Good job, persuading the reader that you love your job
Major points supported by specific details/examples
Research is adequate/timely
Writer has gone beyond textbook for resources Use more detailed examples to develop your written paper.
Higher-Order Thinking: Good job integrated paper with your work experience.
Writer compares/contrasts/integrates theory/subject matter with
work environment/experience
At an appropriate level, the writer analyzes and synthesizes Synthesize your thoughts (make them clearer) Remember that
theory/practice to develop new ideas and ways of conceptualizing are writing your paper for the reader. Do not leave out details
and performing
the reader does not know.
Organization 1
The introduction provides a sufficient background on the topic and Good introduction, but try to make it stronger. Use stronger
previews major points descriptive words and phrases. Utilize the CWE resources.
Central theme/purpose is immediately clear
Structure is clear, logical, and easy to follow

4. Running head: Business is Everywhere 4
Subsequent sections develop/support the central theme Your theme was immediately clear and the structure of your p
Conclusion/recommendations follow logically from the body of the was easy to follow.
paper
Again, utilize the CWE for more information on conclusion. M
sure that you conclude your paper with the questions posed.
Style/Mechanics 1
Format--
Citations/reference page follow guidelines Use the APA style as your guideline for formatting, and
Properly cites ideas/info from other sources
Paper is laid out effectively--uses, heading and other reader- organization.
friendly tools
Paper is neat/shows attention to detail Re-read your paper several times for clarity, grammar an d
Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling-- usage.
Rules of grammar, usage, punctuation are followed
Spelling is correct
Readability/Style—
Sentences are complete, clear, and concise
Sentences are well-constructed with consistently strong, varied
structure Read works from authors that you enjoy. This will help you w
Transitions between sentences/paragraphs/sections help maintain
the flow of thought Transitioning, precision and flow of thoughts.
Words used are precise and unambiguous
The tone is appropriate to the audience, content, and assignment
Excellent tone and appropriate to the audience, content, and
assignment

5. Running head: Business is Everywhere 5
Comments / Grade
7 (points earned)