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I am an anomalous surge, a bioelectromagnetic burst. Study me with EEG topographic mapping (a great advance over phrenology), ferret out my subtle energies, record the markers of my emotion, sift my positive and negative ions for signs of virtue, and measure the build-up and collapse of my electric dipoles while I indulge my mood swings. I'll gulp down any placebo, ignorant as I am of psychoneuroimmunology. When you've done with the biofeedback stress profiling please give me copies of the charts and graphs to frame and hang over the fireplace so on cold nights when my current flickers I can remember who I am.