1. W
ooohoooo, it’s summer time!
Exams are finished, school’s
out, and it’s time to chill. You
can finally let your hair loose, throw off
those school shoes and have some fun!
Whether you are going away for the
holidays or chilling at home, everybody is
feeling the same sense of freedom and
often, along with this excitement, comes
the thrill of a summer romance. With the
warm weather, sundresses, bikinis and
baggies, your heart beats a bit faster,
your crush looks extra hot and before you
know it you’ve got that loving feeling.
PERFECT CONDITIONS FOR
SUMMER LOVE!
The pressure’s off. No more worrying
about schoolwork and studying. The year
is over, your work is done and you can
really relax knowing that in January you
start again with a clean slate.
TIME
Without the commitments of school,
sport and cultural activities you have so
much more time on your hands. Time
that can now be spent chilling with old
friends, doing crazy things and making
new friends.
FREEDOM
Holidays are a time when you have a lot
more freedom. You can stay up later, sleep
in and even laze around in your PJs all day
if you want to. There are way fewer rules to
follow which means a lot more fun!
SUNSHINE
Sunshine literally is happy juice! More
sunlight means more melatonin and
serotonin are produced in your brain.
These are chemicals that make us happy.
When we feel great, we radiate confidence
which attracts the opposite sex.
NEW EXPERIENCES AND PEOPLE
During the holidays many people go away
and do exciting new things and meet tons
of new people. Sometimes being away
from your usual group of friends can be a
liberating experience. You no longer have
to ‘fit in’ with their expectations. You are
free to be whoever you want to be and can
strike up friendships with people who you
may not have been open to back at home.
THE UPSIDE OF A SUMMER FLING
I remember my first summer love. I was
15 and my family went to the beach for
the holidays. At school I was quite a shy
girl. I did well at school, flew under the
radar and never got into much trouble.
As a result I think I was invisible. None of
the cool guys ever noticed me. I felt that
I was destined to be ordinary. Then we
went to Umhlanga for the school holidays
and I had a summer fling that had a
profound influence on my self-confidence.
I met a boy who was a smoking
hot lifeguard.
He noticed me. He liked me. He spoke
to me! This was not what I was used
to. Back at home boys like that never
spoke to me or paid me any attention. I
THE UPS AND DOWNS OF HOLIDAY LOVE
BY TRACY-LEIGH KINSEY
don’t know if it was the sun, the sense
of freedom or if it was being away from
my comfort zone, but I found a part
of me that I didn’t even know existed
and I spoke back. I flirted back and as
a result had the most wonderful two-
week summer fling. All of a sudden
I saw in myself what he saw in me. I
was no longer that shy, quiet, ordinary
girl. I gained confidence and went
home knowing I had something special
to celebrate.
It wasn’t all smooth sailing though. My
heart broke when it was time to go home.
I felt a pain in my body and soul that I
had never felt before. I cried all the way
home and nearly drove my family crazy
with my sniffling in the back seat. Once
we got home I carried on crying for what
felt like an eternity. In reality it was only a
couple of weeks but those two weeks of
heartbreak felt like a lifetime.
Was it worth it? Absolutely! The
increased self-confidence and wonderful
memories were definitely worth two
weeks of tears! Looking back now, I do
wish that I had been a bit more prepared
for the pain of saying goodbye though.
If you are sensible, a holiday romance
can be great fun, providing memories
that you will remember fondly for the rest
of your life. If you are not careful though,
it can also be a time of heartache, pain
and poor choices that you could regret in
the future.
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2. Here are our top three tips on how to
protect yourself and still have a great time
during a summer romance:
BE REALISTIC
Remember all holidays do come to an
end. You will have to pick up your life
where you left off and will have to get back
to reality and the real world.
APPROACH WITH CAUTION
Just because you feel like a totally
different person when you are on holiday,
it doesn’t mean that you are. You still have
the same morals and values. You still
have the same ambitions and dreams.
Don’t do anything that you wouldn’t
normally do. Don’t make silly choices that
you will regret and don’t do anything that
will damage your reputation.
BE PREPARED TO SAY GOODBYE
Summer love is not always supposed
to last. A fling is just that – a short little
romance between two people that is not
meant to be long-term. Remind yourself
of that, especially if you live far away from
each other. Don’t become emotionally
entangled, allowing yourself to believe that
you can continue the relationship once
you go home.
TRACY-LEIGH KINSEY OF STARCHILD COACHING IS A TEEN LIFE COACH AND SELF-ESTEEM ELEVATOR WHO
CONDUCTS WORKSHOPS, TALKS AND ONE-ON-ONE COACHING FOR SCHOOLS, COMMUNITIES AND INDIVIDUALS
THROUGHOUT THE COUNTRY. TRACY CAN BE REACHED AT TRACY@STARCHILD.CO.ZA OR ON 083 209 0768.
THE DANGERS OF A SUMMER FLING
When we escape from the stress of the
real world for even a short while, we seem
to fall in love a whole lot quicker than
normal. Be careful. Sometimes what feels
like true love is just infatuation which
would never survive the pressures of
real life.
Not only do we fall in love quicker when we
are on holiday, but we also get blinded by
love. We fall for people who we would not
usually be interested in. Don’t lower your
standards just because you are on holiday.
You deserve somebody who is going to
respect you and treat you well.
Summer flings definitely come with their
share of drama. Often there are long-term
boyfriends or girlfriends in the background
which leads to many tears and broken
hearts. The pain of saying goodbye to your
summer love can also be overwhelming
and heartbreaking.
So this holiday, be safe. Be smart.
Make the most of your friendships and
relationships. Whether you’re
looking for a fun summer
fling or long-term romance,
you never quite know where
you’re going to end up. I’ve told
you about my first summer love,
but I also remember my second
summer love. I was 16 at the time
and my family decided to stay at
home for the December holidays.
My sister and I invited some friends
over for lunch. One of these friends
brought a guy with them who I had
never met before. He was really funny
and I couldn’t stop laughing at his silly
jokes. We spent a lot of time together
that summer and slowly developed a
real summer love!
That funny guy is my husband today. We
have enjoyed many amazing years together
– and to think – it all began one beautiful
day in the summer holidays.
DON’T MAKE SILLY CHOICES
THATYOUWILL REGRET AND
DON’T DO ANYTHINGTHATWILL
DAMAGEYOUR REPUTATION
❞
❞
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