Marriage in the holy, one, catholic and apostolic church is very sacrosact. It comes after having fulfilled some conditions. Catholics hence are enjoined to have their marriage in the church thereby avoid "sendforth".

1. THE YOUTH AND MARRIAGE IN THE CHURCH
BEING A TALK DELIVERED
BY
YAYI TIMOTHY OPEYEMI
B.A. (ED), MTRCN, M.ED IN VIEW
IN A TALENT HUNT PROGRAMME
AT
ST. JOSPEH CATHOLIC CHURCH, RANDA, OGBOMOSO
ON
13TH
OF DECEMBER, 2014

2. INTRODUCTION
No doubt, marriage years past and even in our contemporary society have been a means
of procreation. This view many people held without having a good mastery of what marriage
institution means. On the contrary Catholic view has vehemently negated this erroneous view.
Many definitions have been adduced for marriage and youth respectively. Cara (2007) opined
that marriage is a vocation which contributes to common good of the society. He further opined
that the Sacrament of marriage extends beyond the wedding day. It could be alluded to that most
marriages today are crashing drastically. In response the Holy Father outlined the roots of the
contemporary crisis of marriage and the family to the bishops of Minnesota, North Dakota on
March 9 (EWTN NEWS/CAN 03/09/2012 Shutterstock).
In an address that tackled attempts to redefine marriage, Pope Benedict XVI challenged
the bishops of the United States to teach young people an authentic, Catholic vision of sex and
love. “The richness of this vision is more sound and appealing than the permissive ideologies
exalted in some quarters; these, in fact, constitute a powerful and destructive form of counter-
catechesis for the young,” he said March 9. “Young people need to encounter the Church‟s
teaching in its integrity, challenging and countercultural as that teaching may be,” he told the
bishops. Children must see this vision “embodied by faithful married couples who bear
convincing witness to its truth,” but the wider Church also has to give them support “as they
struggle to make wise choices at a difficult and confusing time in their lives,” the Pope said. The
Pope focused his audience remarks on outlining the roots of the “contemporary crisis of marriage
and the family.”
This crisis is evident, he said, in the “weakened appreciation of the indissolubility of the
marriage covenant” and the widespread rejection of a “responsible, mature sexual ethic grounded
in the practice of chastity.” He noted that these decisions have led to “grave societal problems
bearing an immense human and economic cost.”The Pope dealt first with the threat posed by
attempts to legally redefine marriage. One crystal clear example that is not far -fetched is the
example of Nigeria. Spirited and concerted efforts have been made by Nigerians in diaspora to
legalize gay marriage. All thanks to God and the relentless prayers offered by God‟s people. The

3. Pope recognized that drive to redefine marriage was being pushed by “powerful political and
cultural currents,” which require a “conscientious effort to resist this pressure. ”This has to be
done, he said, with a “reasoned defense of marriage as a natural institution,” consisting of “a
specific communion of persons, essentially rooted in the complementarity of the sexes and
oriented to procreation. ”Sexual differences cannot be dismissed as irrelevant to the definition of
marriage,” he said. This is why defending the institution of marriage is “ultimately a question of
justice,” since it “entails safeguarding the good of the entire human community and the rights of
parents and children alike,” said the Pope. He then addressed how the Christian vision of sex and
love is taught to the young. He said the bishops must “acknowledge deficiencies in the catechesis
of recent decades.” This inadequate teaching has often failed to communicate “the rich heritage
of Catholic teaching on marriage as a natural institution elevated by Christ to the dignity of a
sacrament,” as well as the “vocation of Christian spouses in society and in the Church and the
practice of marital chastity. ”He called for better instruction of both the young and those
preparing for marriage with programs based upon the Catechism of the Catholic Church. These
should also address the “serious pastoral problem” presented by “the widespread practice of
cohabitation, often by couples who seem unaware that it is gravely sinful, not to mention
damaging to the stability of society.”
All Catholic family agencies should also give support and “reach out to” those who are
divorced, separated, single parents, teenage mothers, women considering abortion, as well as
children suffering due to family breakdown. The Pope identified an “urgent need” for Christians
to “recover an appreciation of the virtue of chastity,” which, he reminded the bishops, is defined
in the Catechism as an “apprenticeship in self-mastery which is a training in human freedom.”
Fundamentally, he said, the Christian understanding of sexuality is “a source of genuine
freedom, happiness and the fulfillment of our fundamental and innate human vocation to love.”
He concluded by telling the bishops that children have “a fundamental right” to grow up with an
“understanding of sexuality and its proper place in human relationships.”
In retrospect, all said and done a critical appraisal of youth, voice of the church on
marriage, sexuality, canonical backings vis-a vis various types of marriages need to be carried
out to better inform the teaming youth in order to truly live the meaning of marriage as it ought

4. to be. It is hoped that the subsequent paragraphs under various headings will attempt a cross-
fertilization of ideas as it bothers on Youth and Marriage in the Holy, One, Catholic and
Apostolic Church.
THE CONCEPT OF YOUTH
Many eminent scholars have attempted to come to a compromise on the generally
acceptable definition of youth. Herculean as it may be, no green light point to the fact that there
is going to be a uniform view. This is so because most definitions are proffered along sentiments,
beliefs, custom and religious inclination.
According to UNESCO “Youth” is best understood as a period of transition from the
dependence of childhood to adulthood‟s independence and awareness of our interdependence as
members of a community. Youth is a more fluid category than a fixed age-group. However, age
is the easiest way to define this group, particularly in relation to education and employment.
Therefore “youth” is often indicated as a person between the age where he/she may leave
compulsory education, and the age at which he/she finds his/her first employment. This latter age
limit has been increasing, as higher levels of unemployment and the cost of setting up an
independent household puts many young people into a prolonged period of dependency. When
carrying out its Youth Strategy, UNESCO uses different definitions of youth depending on the
context. For activities at international or at regional level, such as the African Youth Forum,
UNESCO uses the United Nations‟ universal definition. The UN, for statistical consistency
across regions, defines „youth‟, as those persons between the ages of 15 and 24 years, without
prejudice to other definitions by Member States. All UN statistics on youth are based on this
definition, as illustrated by the annual yearbooks of statistics published by the United Nations
system on demography, education, employment and health. For activities at the national level,
for example when implementing a local community youth programme, “youth” may be
understood in a more flexible manner. UNESCO will then adopt the definition of “youth” as
used by a particular Member State. It can be based for instance on the definition given in the
African Youth Charter where “youth” means “every person between the ages of 15 and 35
years”.

5. Concomitantly, youth according to Encarta Dictionary and Thesaurus is the time when
somebody is young; the period of human life between childhood and maturity. Put simply, they
are young people in general. Flowing from this vein, there seems to be an area of agreement in
the church‟s definition and the secular definition. The overriding principle is that youth
encompasses young people between the ages of 15 and 35. Today the criteria most people use in
segregating themselves from youth is marriage. The erroneous concept is that once married now
a man and no longer a youth. Whatever the case may be, as a youth two vocations are imminent
which you will be inducted into one of it. These viz: Priesthood/Religious or Marital Life. For
the sake of this study, we will be narrow down to the marital aspect with the youth as sample
population. Following the alarming rate of breaking homes today, it is imperative to critically
look out the attendant problems associated with it, the genesis and the ideal prospect the church
has for the youth. Suffice to say the ongoing cross-examination will answer the thought
provoking questions that have plagued the minds of youth even those sited before me.
THE BROAD SPECTRUM OF MARRIAGE
Opinion is divided on the true picture of marriage. Joyzy has the following to say about
it: Marriage is one experience that almost everyone desires. It is that institution that is structured
by personal world view, cultural values, religion. With all the studies and projections to promote
happy and fruitful marriage, nature and nurture as they are understood by each person and the
environment one lives in are yet to bring out a guaranteed happy marriage. Marriage is as
awesome as awful depending on the personalities and values of those who contract it. Marriage
is a reality of painful joy, laughing cries, and hateful love. You are happy at a moment, you are
sad the next moment. You wake up feeling blessed, and you go to bed feeling cursed. Marriage
is like a beautiful rose flower with many thorns; the more it is enticing the more it pierces
through ones emotions, and general relational wellbeing. It is the most desirable yet most
problematic institution in the world. Considering the marriage you are in or the one you observe
– will you say it is A BLESSING, A CROSS, OR/AND A RESPONSIBILITY? I believe the
question is a post mortem one as all of us here are still youth.
It is a known fact that marriage is the legal union of two individual coming together to
become one as husband and wife in the presence of God. Many kinds of marriages exist in our
world. E.g Polygamy, monogamy, polyandry to mention a few. Even today some crazes like gay

6. marriage have come to stay in some part of the world. In the midst of these dwindling problems
there is the urgent need to prepare the sacredness of Holy Matrimony without derailing from how
God instituted it to be. The church being the custodian of all these knowledge hope to save us
from impending dangers that may arise from obliterating the guiding principles. Catholic
marriage notwithstanding is the sure panacea and antidote to having a peaceful marriage.
NOTE: Marriage is meant to be enjoyed and not endured.
CATHOLIC MARRIAGE
It is obvious that the church is concern about our salvation beyond any other thing.
Anything that may put us at risk is what the church greatly shuns at. Marriage between a
Catholic and a Non-Catholics (Mixed Marriage) is what the church forbade. Due to the
relaxation of some laws and criteria, a room so to say is given for us to hide. Hitherto, some
conditions have to be met. These conditions are clearly stated in the Code of Canon law of the
church. It grieves my mind to hear people say they can‟t find a Catholic brother or sister to
marry. Is it that our boys are not serious or the girls? Do you seek for human perfection or
beauty? Beauty of course lies in the eye of the beholder. As John Ploughmer rightly said “I‟ve
been up and down the world and haven‟t seen a perfect horse or a perfect human being, and shall
never see until two Sundays come together”. Buttressing forward he said: “He who seeks for
human perfection had better go to the Sea for sugar or flour in a coal sack”. Are you one of those
that have subscribe to the saying that there are no good persons in the church? Without any
tongue in cheek, I make bold to say you have a problem yourself. Peradventure you have a
problem finding a suitor even after praying let me give you a gimmick of how the male and
female attend to relationship/dating issues.
The first thing a man sees in a female is the physical appearance which appeals to the
senses. Once he ask the female out, he isn‟t in his right senses while the female is in her right
senses then. Eventually if the female counterpart succumbs following her heart, the guy is now in
his right senses thinking whether she is the right person. Incidentally, the lady would have fallen
deep-drown into the ocean of love. This is just the plain logic in it. Marriage between two
Catholics is the most ideal type of marriage. In cases where a marriage is contracted between a
Catholics and Non-Catholic (Disparity of Cult) some conditions below are to be followed
strictly.If a Catholic finds his/her love outside the Catholic Church, the Church may permit such

7. union if there is a just and reasonable cause; the Catholic party remains a Catholic and agreed to
by the other party; they promise to have all the children born of such marriage baptized and
brought up in the Catholic Church; both parties are instructed about the purposes and essential
properties of marriage (cf. Can 1124 & 1125).
The Church will rejoice if the non-Catholic party becomes a Catholic. The Church, however,
does not compel and will not force the non-Catholic party to become a Catholic. However, the
wisdom is, avoid conflict of faith as you know that without faith, it is impossible to please
God (Heb. 11:6). Let us now examine some questions emanating from marriage issues
as attempted by Joyzy.
WHERE SHOULD THE WEDDING BECELEBRATED, THE MAN‟S CHURCH OR THE
WOMAN'S CHURCH?
This issue has caused so much disagreement between two people in serious relationship
especially if they come from different cultures. Take for instance, if an Ibo Nigerian Man is
marrying a Yoruba Nigerian Girl, this conflict may arise. The Ibos of the Eastern Nigeria have a
custom of the wedding taking place in the Man‟s Church/Parish. Among the Yoruba people of
the Western part of the same country, the wedding takes place in the woman‟s Church or the
woman‟s parents Church. However, the Catholic Church holds that “A marriage between
Catholics or between a Catholic party and a non-Catholic baptized party is to be celebrated in a
PARISH CHURCH. It can be celebrated in another church or oratory with the permission of the
local ordinary or pastor” (Can. 1118 §1).By parish Church it means “Marriages are to be
celebrated in a parish where EITHER of the contracting parties has a domicile, quasi-domicile,
or months long residence or, if it concerns transients, in the parish where they actually reside”
(Can. 1115).
CAN I HAVE THE WEDDING DONE IN A NON-CATHOLIC CHURCH?
In a marriage between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic, where the cultural custom
concerning the place of wedding favors the baptized non-Catholic, the wedding may be
celebrated in a non-Catholic Church with due procedure and the permission of the Bishop or
Parish Priest. The wedding celebration in a non-Catholic Church will require a dispensation
from a canonical form from the local ordinary (Diocesan Bishop). According to Cannon 1121, §

8. 3, "For a marriage contracted with a dispensation from canonical form, the local ordinary who
granted the dispensation is to take care that the dispensation and celebration are inscribed in the
marriage registers of both the curia and the proper parish of the Catholic party whose pastor
conducted the investigation about the free status. The Catholic spouse is bound to notify as soon
as possible the same ordinary and pastor about the marriage celebrated and also to indicate the
place of the celebration and the public form observed”.
IF THIS IS THE CASE, WHY DOES THECHURCH ALWAYS ASK THAT THE NON
CATHOLIC PARTY BECOME A CATHOLIC?
In the first place, the Church does not encourage marriage between a Catholic and a
Baptized non-Catholic which is called Mixed Marriage or between a Catholic and a non-
Baptized person which is termed Disparity of Cult. However, if a Catholic finds his/her love
outside the Catholic Church ,the Church may permit such union if there is a just and reasonable
cause; the Catholic party remains a Catholic and agreed to by the other party; they promise to
have all the children born of such marriage baptized and brought up in the Catholic Church; both
parties are instructed about the purposes and essential properties of marriage (cf. Can 1124 &
1125). The Church will rejoice if the non-Catholic party becomes a Catholic. The Church,
however, does not compel and will not force the non-Catholic party to become a Catholic. There
are different practices and rulings in many particular dioceses regarding this, for example: I have
heard of cases where the parents of the Catholic party who married a non-Catholic are being
stopped from the communion. I personally do not see any rational in this and there is nowhere in
the Church‟s Law where the parents of the bride (unfortunately not the groom) are punished for
the sin of their daughter (if it is a sin at all). Could this be a way of telling the parents that they
fail to train their children in the way of the Lord (cf. Prov. 22:6) or an interpretation of the
saying: 'The fathers have eaten sour grapes and the children's teeth are set on edge.'? However,
the Scriptures also say, “No longer will it be said: „the fathers have eaten sour grapes and the
children's teeth are set on edge. Instead everyone will die because of their own sin; whoever eats
sour grapes will have his teeth set on edge!” (Jer. 31:29-30). If the Catholic party, male or
female, promise to remain a Catholic, in order words, continue his or her sacramental life (even
when the other party is not ready to be converted to Catholicism), he or she should neither be
denied nor did anyone blame for his/her choice. However, it must be noted that the celebration of

9. the Sacrament of Marriage isn‟t just a social thing but more a spiritual rite; of course, it is not a
matter of fulfilling all righteousness as some people think. If either the bride or the groom will
not continue the sacramental life by following the non-Catholic party to his or her church, then
there is no need to have Catholic wedding. I have seen a lot of young people and even their
parents becoming so passionate about the place of the celebration of the wedding considering the
social implications; fighting the priest for saying the truth, BUT they care-less about the
preservation of their FAITH. What you have come to is Mount Zion and to the city of the living
God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to myriads of angels, to the general assembly and church of
the firstborn who are enrolled in heaven, and to God, the Judge of all, and to the spirits of the
righteous made perfect,… (Heb.12:23-24)
IF AFTER THE WEDDING OF THENON-CATHOLIC MAN WHO HAD AGREED THAT
THE CATHOLIC WIFE CONTINUES WITH HERCATHOLICISM, THE MAN DECIDED
TO STOP THE CATHOLIC PARTNER FROM GOING TO CATHOLICCHURCH – WHAT
CAN THE CATHOLIC WIFE DO?
You see, the Church is neither wicked nor stupid to say that “Without express permission
of the competent authority, marriage is PROHIBITED between two baptized persons of whom
one is baptized in the Catholic Church or received into it after baptism and has not defected from
it by a formal act and the other of whom is enrolled in a Church or ecclesial community not in
full communion with the Catholic Church” (Can. 1124). Experiences show that a man can do
anything to win the heart of the woman he wishes to marry. Anything here includes lying and
deception. So, it is not surprising to see a man to agree before marriage with the woman to
continue being Catholic and when marriage is contracted, he turns around to say that the wife
should follow him to his Church. This does not mean that mixed marriage doesn‟t work. I have
equally witnessed many marriages where it is either the man or the woman who is a Catholic and
the other not. In many cases, all the children are Catholics, while in some cases they divide the
children among themselves. In some situations, you will not even know that either of the party is
not a Catholic because each time there is a celebration that involves the family, both of them
come together. I have equally seen where the man drops the wife and the children in the Catholic
Church and then continue to his own church.

10. WHAT HAPPENS IF THE MAN NOW ORDERED THE WIFE TO STOP GOING TO
CATHOLIC CHURCH?
In the first place, I may want to ask also: What could have made this man who had agreed
in the first place to turn around and say he is no longer agreeing to such arrangement? A lot of
reasons come to mind: 1. An attempt to prove to his family and friend that he is not a weakling
and that he is the head of his household. 2. If his agreement is, in the first place, a deception to
lead the woman to the state in which there is no going back. 3. If the life of the wife is contrary
to Gospel and the teaching of the Church. 4. If the man feels the Catholic Church is denying his
wife or children whatever for whatever reason. Etc. No matter what the situation may be, the
man has no right to stop them from continuing from going to the Catholic Church. Remember
that Can.1125 states: “The local ordinary can grant a permission of this kind
(MIXEDMARRIAGE) if there is a just and reasonable cause. HE IS NOT TO GRANT IT
UNLESSTHE FOLLOWING CONDITIONS HAVE BEEN FULFILLED: 1. The Catholic
party is to declare that he or she is prepared to remove dangers of defecting from the faith and is
to make a sincere promise to do all in his or her power so that all offspring are baptized and
brought up in the Catholic Church; 2. the other party is to be informed at an appropriate time
about the promises which the Catholic party is to make, in such a way that it is certain that he or
she is truly aware of the promise and obligation of the Catholic party; 3. Both parties are to be
instructed about the purposes and essential properties of marriage which neither of the
contracting parties is to exclude. These promises to be made by the Catholic party are not to just
to be verbalized but to be documented and signed by the Catholic Party who made them; and co-
signed by the non-Catholic party and the priest. It is important to have some other people to
witness this process – at least the Sponsors and if possible the parents of the intended couple. It
is sad however, to see the Catholic party whose faith the Church is trying to safeguard, fighting
left and right that he or she has no promises or vows to make. You see them and their parents
fighting the priest as if he is making life difficult for them. Don't forget that the pastor of souls'
primary assignment is the salvation of the souls of his flock. So he will not compromise that for
anything. I understand that there are some priests who do not take this aspect very serious and/or
may not even explain this to their flock.

11. I AM NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER. I CAN‟T FIND A CATHOLIC GIRL TO MARRY.
CAN‟T I MARRY A NON-CATHOLIC?
The Shocker: Marriage is prohibited between a Catholic and anon-Catholic irrespective
of the gender (cf. Canon 1124; Malachi 2:11; 2Cor6:14-16). The Good news is: If permitted by
the Bishop for example, Marriage is possible under ALL the following conditions: 1. The
Catholic has to remain Catholic and ALL the children born of the marriage baptized and brought
up as Catholics (Canon 1125 #1; 1Cor7::12-14) 2. The non-Catholic party is aware at an
appropriate time of the position of the Catholic party (Canon 1125 #2) 3. The two of them
MUST undergo Marriage Instructions in the Catholic Church (Canon 1125 #3). Marriage like
this is called Mixed Marriage if between a Catholic and a Baptized non-Catholic. It is called
Disparity of Cult if between Catholic and a non-baptized person. The right place to have the
marriage celebrated is in the Catholic Church, unless the Bishop allows otherwise, then it can
take place in the non-Catholic Church (Canon 1108 #1; 1115; 1118). The Wisdom is, avoid
conflict of faith as you know that without faith, it is impossible to please God (Heb. 11:6). If you
find love outside of your faith, be careful, for love isn‟t the only ingredient for a happy marriage.
Life experiences show that those who claim to be agreed with the conditions before marriage
turn round to later disagree. Though Marriage cannot exist where there is lie or deceit or force,
yet, the relationship must have been traumatized before you sort yourself out. Let your life be
guided by the Holy Spirit in whom you find the Will of God (Jn. 16:13; Eph. 5:16-17).
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A LADY TO MARRY A MAN WHO SHE IS TWO OR THREE
YEARS OLDER THAN, AND WHO IS NOT AS EDUCATED AS HER?
If you are asking about the possibility – YES – it is possible and it happens. However,
Age, Position, Education, Financial status, Religion etc. have a lot to do with marriage. There is
no one way of looking at this for the individual perception, cultural reactivity, and religious
beliefs determine how one sees it. Let me reframe the question and split it into these questions:
1. who should be older, the husband or the wife? 2. Who should be richer, the husband or the
wife? 3. Who should have higher education, the man or the woman? Answering these questions
about who should be better than the other will take us to the controversial issue about gender
equality. "So God created man in his image; in the image of God he created him; male and
female he created them." (Genesis 1:27) God “blessed them and called them Man on the day they

12. were created."(Genesis 5:2). Will the present modern generation agree with man and woman
being called MAN? Will they agree about women being submissive? (Eph. 5:22).
Experiences across the world reveal that the husband is mostly perceived as older, richer, and
with higher education. It is also true that there are instances where the wife is either older or
richer or have higher education. While in the case of the man, all the factors – age, riches, and
education – may be present, the woman is either older or richer or has higher education. The
situation where the woman is older, richer and at the same time better educated is rare. The
reason for this is obvious: nature has it that the male of many creatures is bigger, stronger, larger,
and greater. No wonder in the Biblical account of creation, Man was created first; and it was
from him that the woman was created (Gen 2:20-22). Consciously or unconsciously, women –
even when they are more financially better than the man or older – they tend to be submissive
and follow the lead of the husband. And I have seen women who are very educated who got
married to someone who has no education though, the man may be richer. When you see a man
or a woman, what do you first see? His/her age? His/her educational status? What do you first
see? What attracts you to a person? What do you consider before you get married? I have seen
many people who get along so well and promised to love each other forever, but the moment
they are of the knowledge that the woman is older (even by a year) – either the man says he
cannot continue or the woman considers herself too old to marry such a man. The love-love thing
just dies down. Do you think the problem is the age? Or is it all about the riches or the
education? Many times it is all about the socio-cultural factors and values. The thought of what
your family will say, what your friends will say etc. What happens to all those feelings and those
good times? Does love just wear out – just like that? You should be in control of your life and
what you want for yourself. Your father or mother will not live your marriage for you; and your
friends will not live your life for you. Go for who you want. But if you feel that you cannot cope
with your wife being older or your husband being younger, you may as well let it go. There is no
rule that says a man must be older or the woman should be younger. “Age is a number” people
say. It is not written on anyone‟s head. And of course, your degrees are not written on your
forehead. But if all these will make you feel inferior or superior to the other person, then you
may have to reconsider your position. Remember that relationship is trying out – to see if it will
work. Look beyond all these as they do not define the real person even though they are

13. influential. Age, money and education will equally not guarantee happy marriage. Remember the
Latin saying: OMNIA VINCIT AMOR –LOVE CONQUERSALL. Let love and faithfulness
never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart (Prov. 3:3);
Let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deeds and truth. We will know by this that we
are of the truth, and will assure our heart before God (1 Jn. 3:18).
IF THE NON-CATHOLIC PARTY DECIEVED THECATHOLIC PARTY INTO MARRIAGE
AND ALSO THREATENING THE CATHOLIC PARTY TO STOPCATHOLICISM; CAN
THE CATHOLIC PARTY END THE MARRIAGE?
He or she cannot immediately end the marriage. It is good to let the parish priest know –
as soon as possible – what is happening to your faith as a Catholic. The Church works towards
saving marriages – for what God has joined together, no one should separate (Matt 19:6). The
priest will call for peaceful and understanding co-existence. However, if after said and done, it is
discovered that the man/woman only tricked, or deceived the woman/man into marriage – where
everything he/she had said he/she is and would do were lies – then it means that the marriage
never existed even though celebrated. For “A person contracts invalidly who enters into a
marriage deceived by malice, perpetrated to obtain consent, concerning some quality of the other
partner which by its very nature can gravely disturb the partnership of conjugal life” (Can. 1098).
In this case Annulment NOT divorce is possible. Annulment means a legal and ecclesiastical
procedure for declaring a marriage null and void. I am NOT competent enough to deal with this
situation as I am not a Canonist. I strongly advise that anyone in this situation should see his/her
parish priest who may direct him/her to a Canon Lawyer or a member of the Marriage Tribunal
in your particular diocese to make clear exactly what is going on – so that he can guide you on
what to do.
WHAT IF BOTH ARE CATHOLICS AND THE MARRIAGE WAS CELEBRATED INTHE
CATHOLIC CHURCH, BUT AFTER THE MARRIAGE CEREMONY THE WIFE FINDS
OUT THATMOST OF WHAT THE HUSBAND TOLD HER BEFORE MARRIAGE ARE
NOT TRUE; ALSO THAT THEMAN IS SUFFERING NO SPERM COUNT?
The same things apply as above. However, if after you discovered these lies, your faith is
not challenged and your relationship is somewhat healthy, you can go on with your marriage and

14. life continues. On the issue of the discovery of the “No Sperm Count” of the husband – this is
not enough to make the marriage invalid. The question is: Is the man aware of this before or after
the wedding? If this knowledge comes as a result of medical test in search of children as married
couple then there is nothing to be done. The wife will have to bear this as a cross carried in love
in acceptance of what they vowed: For Better for Worse; in Sickness and in Health - and of
course wait for God‟s miracle - for nothing is impossible for God (Luke 1:37; 18:27; Gen 18:14).
But if it can be established that the man has the knowledge of this state of his before the wedding
and hid it from the woman, then that makes the wedding invalid since deception is involved. This
is similar to a situation an impotent man who hides under “fake spirituality” of no pre-marital sex
so that the woman is unaware of his predicament. In the first place an impotent person is
incapable of contracting marriage; if he does, such marriage is invalid. All that I am saying here
is that, if knowing that your partner lied to you in other to get married to you poses a problem to
your moral, spiritual, physical and mental well-being in marriage then you can free yourself
following the right procedure as above. Otherwise, there is no need making problems out of the
knowledge when indeed there may be no problem. “Therefore, as God‟s chosen people, holy and
dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.
Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all
together in perfect unity.” (Col 3:12-14, NIV)
CONCLUSION
By and large it is obvious from the above discussion and enlightenment that the topic
“Youth and Marriage in the Church” is quite inexhaustible. The above paragraphs have
succinctly periscope and x-rayed Marriage in the broad spectrum, answer questions that arise
from people and provide a basis for us Catholics to rigidly stick to our faith. Marriage is meant to
be enjoyed and not endured. If all the church laws concerning marriage are strictly adhered to, I
believe there shouldn‟t be any problem in our future marriages. Due to time constraint some
issues like gay marriage, bareness, early marriage was skipped. All thanks to the Federal
Government of Nigeria who signed the anti-gay law in December 17, 2013. Gay, lesbianism,
homosexuality all negate the original concept of the Sacrament of Matrimony (Marriage). As
such Catholic mustn‟t be found engaging in all these things that attract the fury of God. On this

15. note, I want to charge my brothers and sisters in the faith to hold tight their Catholic faith which
was once bequeathed to us from the apostles. God bless you.
REFERENCES
Anthony, E. (2012): “Catholics, Awake! Marriage Don‟t Just Happen”. Retrieved from
http://www.crisismagazine.com/2012/catholics-awake-marriage-doesnt-just-happen
Clement, E. (2014): “Same Sex Marriage in Nigeria”. Retrieved from
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/africaandindianocean/nigeria/10570304/Nigeria-
passes-law-banning-homosexuality.html
Code of Canon Law. Part I, Title VII, Chapter I-IX. Retrieved from
http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/_P41.HTM
Code of Canon Law. Part I, Chapter X, Art II. Retrieved from
http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P3V.HTM
EWTN NEWS/CAN (2012):” Pope to US. Bishops: Teach Youth about Catholic Vision of Love.
Retrieved from http://www.ncregister.com/daily-news/pope-to-u.s.-bishops-teach-youth-
about-catholic-vision-of-love
Gay Marriage: Pros and Cons. Retrieved from http://gaymarriage.procon.org/
Jeffery, A.M (2013): “A Meditation on Mature Marriage”. Retrieved from
http://www.catholic.com/magazine/articles/a-meditation-on-a-mature-marriage
Joyzy, P.E (2014): “Daily Reflection”. Retrieved from http://www.lulu.com/joyzypbooks
Mary (2013): “Love and Marriage in the Catholic Church”. Retrieved from
http://youngandcatholic.net/2013/07/love-and-marriage-and-the-catholic-church/
http://youngandcatholic.net/tag/marriage/
Marriage. Retrieved from http://adolescentcatechesis.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/East-
Adolescents-and-Church.pdf
Mark, M.G & Melissa, A.C (2007): “Young Love: Catholic Marriage and Generational
Differences”.
Tom East. “Community at the Crossroads: The Relationship between Adolescents and the
Catholic Church. Retrieved from
http://cara.georgetown.edu/Publications/sssrpresentation.pdf
UNESCO: “What Do You Mean By Youth”. Retrieved from
http://www.unesco.org/new/en/social- and-human-sciences/themes/youth/youth-definition/

16. US Catholics. Retrieved from http://www.uscatholic.org/dontwait
Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia. “Marriage (The Catholic Church)”. Retrieved from
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage_%28Catholic_Church%29
Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia. “Same-sex Marriage”. Retrieved from
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Same-sex_marriage
http://www.uscatholic.org/dontwait
http://www.naij.com/56486.html