1. “Old haunts in New Mexico Places”
4-25-04
©Robin Carneen
I was in Seattle on Saturday
April 17th
Looking for you
In a sea of eagle feathers,
At the UOW Powwow
I was looking for you
I was in New Mexico by Monday
April 19th
Seeking the ghost of a suicidal lover
In a bowl of desert dust
By the brown Rio Grande
I could feel him near
He was looking for me
I wonder if either of you can still feel
Anything for me?
Does love outlive even death?
Black Eagle drums and is the only sound
That matches the intense & constant beat
Of my own surprisingly broken heart
I hold the two jagged pieces in my hands
And try & put them together again
As I think of you
And the one I lost a year ago
And it snowed in Denver
In the middle of April
I feel so cold & alone
On days like this
He was not as strong as you, tho
It is why you stay in my mind
I went looking for him again
And found you,
Through just a mention of your name
Someone saw you in Oregon recently
At another powwow

2. And the Albuquerque wind kicked up
So thick, it blocked the sunset I longed to see
Stirring feelings for you once again
I felt so dry inside
Not even another tear could I cry
For Paul
I left them all in California
I found the closure that I sought
In this mile high place,
He finally released my soul
But you…
You seem to be with me
Wherever I go,
No matter where I am
I am not sure who the ghost lovers
Of my past are
Anymore
Why do you still have to be one of them?
Guess I’ll never know
Revison 4-25-04
A very good friend of mine took his own life, last year...it was the hardest news I had to
hear & take in a very long time & it was a BIG emotional step going to New Mexico,
even though I was there for buisness....so thanks for all the hugs I got there, no one had
any idea what I was going through. And I did get closure with Paul's spirit. I miss him
dearly, he would have "tooled" me around NM for sure...but he was doing it from the
other side...I pray he is at Peace. It is also a small world in Indian country, as we know,
and we do end up hearing how old friends & sometimes, even lovers are doing...thus this
poem was born!
(Here's another one for the book I'll publish someday....one of those 2AM'ers...)
Hugs & Hoyt, Robin

3. “Old haunts in New Mexico Places”
4-25-04
©Robin Carneen
I was in Seattle on Saturday
April 17th
Looking for you
In a sea of eagle feathers,
At the UOW Powwow
I was looking for you
I was in New Mexico by Monday
April 19th
Seeking the ghost of a suicidal lover
In a bowl of desert dust
By the brown Rio Grande
I could feel him near
He was looking for me
I wonder if either of you can still feel
Anything for me?
Does love outlive even death?
Black Eagle drums and is the only sound
That matches the intense & constant beat
Of my own still broken heart
I hold the two jagged pieces in my hands
And try & put them together again
As I think of you....
And the one I lost a year ago
And it snowed in Denver
In the middle of April
April 23rd
I felt so cold & alone
On a day like this
He was not as strong as you, tho
It is why you stay in my mind
I went longing for him again
And found you,
Through just a mention of your name...
Someone saw you in Oregon recently
At another powwow

4. And the Albuquerque wind kicked up
So thick, it blocked the sunset
I waited all day to see
Stirring feelings for you once again
I felt so dry inside
Not even another tear could I cry
For Paul
Guess I left them all in California
But I found the closure that I sought
And in this mile high place,
Paul finally released my soul
But you…
You seem to be with me
Wherever I go,
No matter where I am
And I am not sure who the ghost lovers
Of my past are
Anymore
Why do you still have to be one of them?
Guess I’ll never know
April 25th