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Overview
Opening:Us,at the endof our custodyof the girls,nestempty,wonderingwhat’snext
Middle:
1. Tellingthe whole storyfromthe beginningof myjourneytoGeorgiauntil we arrivedinIsrael
2. Tellingourbackground,the tale of the cousins
3. Tellingof the life inEfratwithmother-in-law sufferingprogressiveAlzheimer’s,emotionally
disturbedgirls
4. Tellingof the house-hunting,barmitzvahandmove
5. Tellingof life inNevehDaniel
6. Tellingof conflictwithsocial workers
7. Tellingof comingof daughter
8. Tellingof behaviorof daughter
9. Tellingof problemswithson
10. Tellingof thatconflictwithsocial workers
11. Tellingof exitof daughterwithgirls
12. Tellingof initialeuphoria,thatthe girlswere now safe fromsocial workers’plans
Closing:Tellingof disastrousaftermath,leavingitopenwhatwe donext
Our nestisemptyat last.After33 yearsof bearingandraisingchildren,andthengrandchildren,
we are alone together.Ouryoungestwill be backfromboardingschool intwoweeks,forRoshHashana,
and then,togetherandalone tolearnto redefineourselves,orrediscoverourselves,orinventourselves
fromscratch.
It’smy birthday.TodayI’m57, and I justfinishedhavingthe time of mylife.Forfouryears,Iwas
a superhero.Cue the theme song:MightyMan doeswhateverhe can.Mightyman doeswhateverhe
can. Mightyman doeswhateverhe can.Mi-high-tymandoeswhateverhe caan.Mi-high-high-tyMan
doeswhateverhe can.Oh,yeshe does.Yeshe does.Yeshe does.Yeshe doesWHAT HE CAAAAN!I did.
Andit worked.Mygranddaughtersare back withtheirmother,startingoveragaininAmerica.
CHAPTER ONE: CRISIS
On May 12, 2012, my fathercalledandletme know that AAAA,myonlydaughter,hadbeen
arrested.She andher then-boyfriend,Tyrone,hadbeenonthe runfromchildprotective servicesin
Syracuse.
In brief,the boyfriendthrewanemptybeerbottle atBBBBBmy oldestgranddaughter’shead,
leavingamark,and the social workersinthe homelessshelterputinacomplaintagainstthemboth.
Fearingthatthe social serviceswouldremove bothgirlsfromAAAA’scustody,theyfledSyracuse by
Greyhound,boundforSouthFlorida,where Tyrone’smotherlived.Myfatherpaidfor the ticket.They
got off inSavanah,Georgiaand calledmyfather,who informedthemthatthe police were waitingfor
theminSouthFlorida,soTyrone calledhiscousin,whocame and broughtthemto herhome in
CCCCCCCboro,GA.
In CCCCCCboro,AAAAA gotajoband Tyrone watchedthe girls,asusual.The oldestBBBB,age
four,whomTyrone had previouslyhitwithabottle,wasnothischild.DDDD the youngest,twoyears
old,was.So Tyrone tormentedandlookedwithdisfavoronBBBBB. While AAAA wasaway,he force-fed
herdrieddog food,andat leastonce touchedherprivate area.I assume that he alsocalledhersuch pet
namesas “bitch,”“cunt,” and “fuckingwhite girl.”Hisowndaughter,DDDD,he usedmore kindly,only
neglectingheralongwithherabused sister,while he drankbeer,smokedweed,andplayedvideogames
all day until AAAA came home,andhe forcedherto cook supper.
My fatherisa retiredprofessor,andmymother,alsoretired,wasbedriddenandin
decline. In2010, I visitedmyparentsinSyracuse,andAAAA andTyrone were livingintheirbasement.
My daughtercame to the door to greetme,heavilypregnantandwithabig blackeye,whichshe
explainedasdue toan “accident”in the kitchen.BetweenTyrone andme it wasdespise atfirstsight,
and on mypart the dislikegrewwithfurtheracquaintance.Idon’tcare whathis opinionwasof me.
WhenI returnedtoIsrael,myolderbrotherkeptme informedviae-mailof Tyrone andAAA’s
furthermisadventures,the smallitemsthatwentmissing,theirhabitof hittingmyfatherupformoney
“for diapers,”whichmybrothersuspectedTyrone spentonbeer.He hadseenBBBB made to sitby
herself while theybothdotedonthe new baby.Mybrothertook pityonBBBB andplayedwith herand
treatedherkindly,andtothisday BBBBB, now almostten,remembershimwithaffection.AfterDDDD
was born,theymovedoutof my parents’house.Mydaughtercame home fromwork,andTyrone made
hercook himsupper.She fell asleepatthe stove, woke uptoa raginggrease fire,andfoolishlytriedto
douse itwithwater.Jerome ranoutside whenhe realizedthe house wasonfire.AAAA threw the girls
out the secondfloorwindowtohim,andhe caught bothof them, andthengot a ladder,whichAAA
climbeddown.The house wasunlivableafterthat,andtheymovedintothe homelessshelter,where
Jerome threwthe bottle atBBBB, settingthe storyinmotion.ButI digressfrommytimeline.
On the afternoonof Thursday, May 10th
, 2012, Tyrone came intothe house drunk.BBBB was
playingquietly,andDDDDwas inher crib,but up.Tyrone accusedBBBB of wakinghersister,andBBBB
deniedit.Ina drunkenrage,Tyrone pickedupBBBB andslammedheragainstthe wall,thenjumpedon
herleg,breakingit.He lether lie there inscreamingagony,andwentabouthisbusiness,whichinvolved
more beerand a videogame.
WhenAAAA came home fromwork,she suggestedwithaquaveringvoice thatshe take BBBB to
the hospital.Tyrone’sresponse was“shutup,bitch.Youmake her quiet.She ain’thurtmuch,justfaking.
I’ll give youbothsomethingtogoto the hospital for,youdon’tgether to shutup.”
How doI judge my daughter?Inherteens,she rebelledagainstherrigidOrthodoxupbringing,
and beganhangingoutwitha bad crowd,alongwithher olderbrotherEEEE. Perhapsitwasthe bipolar
disorderthatbeganto showitself withthe onsetof adolescence.Perhapsitwasangerandjealousyat
suddenlybeingthe middlechildinsteadof the babyof the family,withthe birthof herbrother,our
post-9/11 surprise.Perhapsitwasbecause we livedcheapandhardin an oldfarm house inFar
Rockaway’sBayswatersection.Whenshe waslittle,ourneighborhoodwasanatural wonderlandthat
she rompedinhappilywithhertwoolder brothersandourdog Lucky.
Whenshe became older,she noticedthatthe neighbors,especiallythe more prosperousof the
Orthodox,lookeddownonus,butthe goyimwere more friendly.Thenshe discoveredanew kindof
friend,name of Mary Jane,wholightenedhermoodandmedicatedawayherdepressions,andgave her
an alternative toreality.Itmighthave beenthe factthat,unbeknownsttous,at age fourwhile ina
neighborhooddaycare center,she wasfondledbythe mistressof the daycare’steenage son. Itmight
have beenthe birthof her babybrotherGGGGGG, whichdemotedherfrombabyof the familytomiddle
child. Itmighthave alsobeenbecause,ontopof thisexperience,Ihadto administergrowthhormone to
her,and since she wasafraidof the hypodermic,Iwouldsneakuponherand injectherarm inher sleep.
She’dwake withastartledgasp,and thenfall backto sleep,butthe expertherdefense lawyerhired
testifiedthatthispractice of mine constitutedatrauma.It mightbe the fact that the growth hormone
didn’ttake.She’sstill justadroptallerthana dwarf,and a verydisturbed,angryjust-a-drop-above-
dwarf at that.
Andon top of all that, Tyrone wasa just-a-drop-above-dwarf tosser.She hadbeenbattered,
beaten,bodyslammedontothe floor,raped,cheatedonandshouteddownforthree years,andthe
defense expertsaidthatthismade herirrationallyafraidof Tyrone,believinghe wassuperstrongand
afraidof nothing,capable of anything.Soshe waitedforTyrone toleave,takinghis daughterDDDDto a
neighborhoodbarbecue.Thenshe ranoutwithBBBBB strappedina stroller,andinsteadof wheeling
herto the nearesthospital,she tookhertoa hotel roomand checkedin,tryingtotreat the fracturedleg
witha hot bath andan ace bandage.
I have not walkedamile inhershoes.Icannot judge her.Whoreallycan?Onlythe One True
Judge. The bestI have evermanagedtodo isdeal withthe consequencesof herrashness.
Passersbynotedherexodus,andthe state of herchild,andoffered totake themtothe hospital.
But she refused,afraidinherdelusional battered-womanstate thatTyrone wouldfindthemthere and
kill themonthe spot.The police came tothe hotel and arrestedher,andthenarrestedTyrone.The girls
were putintofostercare.
She didn’tgostraightfrom jumpropesandBarbie dollstoabusive relationshipsandout-of-
wedlockchildren.Whenshe was13, we sentherto an upstate yeshiva,where she lastedlessthanaday,
jumpingdownfromthe secondfloorwindow andmakingabreakforit. Her absence noted,the school
staff pursuedandcorneredher,andshe threatenedherself withaknife togetthemtoback off.Instead
theycaught her,and she wascommittedforobservationtoamental hospital.The doctorsconcluded
that she was notmentallyill,butbythenacase had beenopenedagainstme forallegedabuse and
neglect,because she wasongrowthhormone therapyandunnaturallyshort,soasocial worker
informedusthathe’dbe visitingourhome toinvestigate.Mywife FFFFF,afraidthattheywouldtake
custodyof the baby GGGGG, ran downto herparentsinFlorida,andI ran home fromwork,beggingoff
due to an emergency,tomeetthe social worker.
The social workerwas a pleasantfellow,one of the survivingBiafrans, whomIwassurprisedto
learnwasJewish.He toldme that the house wasmessy,andhe probablywouldhave takenthe baby,if
he were there.He gave me a weektocleanthe house up,saidthat he wouldn’tcountthe disrepairof
the house againstme,justthe messinthe yardand inside.SoIhireda clean-upcrew forthe yard, and,
witha little helpfrommyfriends,cleanedthe insideof the house,tearingoutoldcarpetingandhiring
some handymentofix the more egregiousproblems.Uponreinspection,the social workerclosedthe
case,and my wife still refusedtocome back withGGGGG.
The day before YomKipur,the hospital saidtheywouldstartchargingme directly
insteadof the insurance if Ikepther there anylonger,since theyhaddeterminedthatshe wasnot
mentallyill.Sorightaftermakinghavdala(the ritual formallyendingaholiday),still hungryandwitha
garrulouslyfriendlyinvitationbyone of the baaleibatim (householders)in shul(synagogue) tobreakthe
fastby him,whichI had to ignore,I ran to retrieve mydaughterfromthe madhouse.
I put herin a school fortroubledteenage girls,andEEEEE my son ina similarschool forboys.For
six months,theydisappearedatnight,invitedotherkidsintothe house while Iwasatwork,played
hooky,stole moneyandbelongings,andgenerally torturedme like abug,usingmypaternal affections
and concernas a weapon,stompingonmyfeelingsinheavyboots.
I endedupkickingheroutof the house towardsSpring,whenIlearnedfrommytenantthatshe
was invitingkidsintothe housewhenIwasout,and notingthe chainsaw markson the livingroomwall,
and the brokenchainsaw.She wentdownto Florida,andEEEE stayeduntil justbefore Passover,then
wentdownto Floridaandstayedthere.Reunitedwithherpartnerinmischief,theybothtoldmywife
that I had loudlycalledAAAA a“slut”while Iwaskickingheroutof the house,herbarricadedinthe
downstairsbathroom.FFFFFsaidshe wantedadivorce,andItold herthat that wouldbe a mistake,and
that the kidswere lyingaboutme.She disagreedloudly,andslammedthe phone down.
Aroundthis time,Ibecame a regularguestat the home of some Satmar Chassidim.Theyhad
such beautiful,well-behavedchildrenthatIknew rightawaywhere I had blunderedwithmyown.Their
entire familylife wascenteredaroundcelebratingthe Shabbos(Sabbath),notjustthe foodbutalsothe
songs,the childrentellingstoriesfromschool,the fatherexplainingthe basictenetsof Judaisminwords
close to a child’sheart.Iwas intears,tellingthemof myowntrainwreckof a family.Afterthat,Iwas a
regularguestat the home of one of the communityelders,whoregularlyentertainedaplethoraof
guests,some children,grandchildrenandgreatgrandchildren,andothersstrangerssuchasmyself
whomhe drewclose withthe holyatmosphere aroundhistable.Thiswashow Iwantedto be,always.
My eldestsoncame home tovisitfromIsrael,andwe made the roundsof thissaintlymanandothersin
the Satmar community.TheyconvincedhimthatZionismwasevil,buthe still wentbackto Israel just
the same, where he isan ardentchossidof the Bialer-OstrovoRebbeinJerusalem. Inthe end,the
Satmar communitybroughtme backintocontact withChabad.The Satmarshave successfullyinsulated
themselvesfromthe badinfluencesof the modernworld,butChabadhasalwaysinsistedongoingon
the offensiveagainstit,andreclaimingthe lostsoulscorruptedinit,suchas my twomiddle children.
That was mymissionin life now.
The house sold,one tenantdeadandthe othermovedout,I wentdowntoFlorida,too,to save
our marriage forthe sake of the baby,andto do what I couldwiththe middle children. Esther,
meanwhile,hadrunfromherschool in Florida,andcame back to New York,where Iput herback in the
school fortroubledgirls,usingsome of the moneyfromthe sale of the house topay for hertuitionand
lodging.Afteracouple of monthsthere,she ranback downto Floridaagain,where she proceededtoact
up and makingmylife ashambleswithjuvenile courtappearances.Once,Ionlyhadenoughmoneyto
geta busto the courthouse inSanford,andhad to walkback to Maitlandinthe rain. But I alwaysmade
the court appearances,sothat she wouldknow thatI still caredabouther andwas lookingoutforher,
for whatevergoodthatmightdo.
In March of 2007, she wentto myparents’home inSyracuse,tryingtomake a new start and
focuson an education.Insteadshe rode themraggedfora time,andaftera few monthstheysenther
back to us,pregnant.
I have writtenthe foregoingwithoutbenefitof dialogueinordertoacquaintyouwiththe
backgroundof my story as quicklyaspossible. Itwouldprobablymake abookinand of itself,if Iwere to
recountall the detailsinvividcolor.Butthat’sa projectfor anotherday.For now,I’ll contentmyself
withthe eventsfollowingherarrestonMay 12, 2012, insertingafew flashbackswhereverappropriate
and necessary.
Tyrone.Onmy lastvisitto the UnitedStates,Isaw my daughterlivingwithhiminmyparents’
basement.She washeavilypregnantandhada blackeye whichshe assureduswas causedbyfalling
againstthe table inthe kitchen.Tyrone,itseems,wasputhere on earth to reinforce everynegative
stereotype aboutblackmenthatwaseverinvented.He waslazy.He wasshiftless.He wasvain.He was
alsosingularlystupidandunfaithfultomydaughter,as well asabusive.HadInot alreadyoutgrownmy
youthful prejudices,he wouldhave made me aracist.Instead,Isimplyloathedhimatfirstsight.Iwould
have despisedhimthe same if he hadbeenarabbi witha longbeard,butbehavingashe did.But since I
was visitingmyparents,Iwasnotgoingto make a scene in theirhouse.
I am Chassidic,andI raisedmychildrentobe Chassidic,too.Sofar,it onlytookby one of them,
and that wasnot Chava,whowas a wild,rebelliousgirl since herteens.We broughtherwithusto Israel,
alongwithBasya,who wasthena baby. I gave hera round-tripticket,soshe shouldnotfeel she wasa
prisonerkeptthere againstherwill.She letthe returnticketexpire,andafew weekslaterchangedher
mindand calledmyfatherbehindmyback,andhe wiredhera returnticketto the US of A. There she
landedonmy parentsinSyracuse,alongwith Tyrone the terrible.
My fatherisa retiredprofessor,left-wing,agnosticandleaningtowardsatheism, aveteranof
the anti-warmovementof the sixties.Inhisprime,he wasaformidable debaterandoverpowering
personality.WhenIgotreligionatthe age of twelve,he stormedandragedat mychoice,usedall of his
powersof persuasion,andIlearnedhowtolockhorns withhimindebate.Neitherof uspersuadedthe
other,and despite hismanyobjections,he neverpreventedme frompracticingorthodox Judaism.
Time passed,IreturnedtoIsrael withmythen-seven-year-oldsonBaruch. Chavagave birthto
Chana.I graduatedfrommy course in Jewishcalligraphyandbecame ascribe.My father-in-lawdied,
and mywife broughtherwidowedmotherovertolive withusinKiryatArba.
Tyrone had throwna glassbottle at mygranddaughterBasya,and fortunatelyitdidnotbreak.Butthe
protective serviceswere concernedaboutthe bruise.Sothe fourof them, Chava,Tyrone,Basyaand
Chana (Tyrone’sdaughter,andlike him,brownskinned)gotona bus and headeddowntoSouthFlorida,
where Tyrone’smotherlived.Enroute,theycalledmyfather,whoinformedthemthatthe police were
waitingfortheminFlorida,sotheygot off inSavannaand Tyrone calledhiscousin Channel,whocame
and broughtthemto herhome ina towntoo small tobe worthnaming here.There theysetuphouse,
and mydaughterfoundworkin a conveniencestore.Tyrone “lookedafter”the girlsinhisownunique
fashion,playingvideogames,forcingBasya,age four,toeat dog food,andfeedinghisChana,age two,
whateverwasclose athand; potatochips,soda,candy,popcorn,etc. He wouldnotprepare a meal for
them.He was too busygaming.
On or aboutMay 10, Tyrone came home eitherdrunkorhigh,accusedlittle Basyaof wakingherlittle
sister,andwhenshe deniedit,he pickedherupandthrew heragainsta wall,thenstompedonherleg,
breakingit.
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Book

  • 1. Overview Opening:Us,at the endof our custodyof the girls,nestempty,wonderingwhat’snext Middle: 1. Tellingthe whole storyfromthe beginningof myjourneytoGeorgiauntil we arrivedinIsrael 2. Tellingourbackground,the tale of the cousins 3. Tellingof the life inEfratwithmother-in-law sufferingprogressiveAlzheimer’s,emotionally disturbedgirls 4. Tellingof the house-hunting,barmitzvahandmove 5. Tellingof life inNevehDaniel 6. Tellingof conflictwithsocial workers 7. Tellingof comingof daughter 8. Tellingof behaviorof daughter 9. Tellingof problemswithson 10. Tellingof thatconflictwithsocial workers 11. Tellingof exitof daughterwithgirls 12. Tellingof initialeuphoria,thatthe girlswere now safe fromsocial workers’plans Closing:Tellingof disastrousaftermath,leavingitopenwhatwe donext
  • 2. Our nestisemptyat last.After33 yearsof bearingandraisingchildren,andthengrandchildren, we are alone together.Ouryoungestwill be backfromboardingschool intwoweeks,forRoshHashana, and then,togetherandalone tolearnto redefineourselves,orrediscoverourselves,orinventourselves fromscratch. It’smy birthday.TodayI’m57, and I justfinishedhavingthe time of mylife.Forfouryears,Iwas a superhero.Cue the theme song:MightyMan doeswhateverhe can.Mightyman doeswhateverhe can. Mightyman doeswhateverhe can.Mi-high-tymandoeswhateverhe caan.Mi-high-high-tyMan doeswhateverhe can.Oh,yeshe does.Yeshe does.Yeshe does.Yeshe doesWHAT HE CAAAAN!I did. Andit worked.Mygranddaughtersare back withtheirmother,startingoveragaininAmerica.
  • 3. CHAPTER ONE: CRISIS On May 12, 2012, my fathercalledandletme know that AAAA,myonlydaughter,hadbeen arrested.She andher then-boyfriend,Tyrone,hadbeenonthe runfromchildprotective servicesin Syracuse. In brief,the boyfriendthrewanemptybeerbottle atBBBBBmy oldestgranddaughter’shead, leavingamark,and the social workersinthe homelessshelterputinacomplaintagainstthemboth. Fearingthatthe social serviceswouldremove bothgirlsfromAAAA’scustody,theyfledSyracuse by Greyhound,boundforSouthFlorida,where Tyrone’smotherlived.Myfatherpaidfor the ticket.They got off inSavanah,Georgiaand calledmyfather,who informedthemthatthe police were waitingfor theminSouthFlorida,soTyrone calledhiscousin,whocame and broughtthemto herhome in CCCCCCCboro,GA. In CCCCCCboro,AAAAA gotajoband Tyrone watchedthe girls,asusual.The oldestBBBB,age four,whomTyrone had previouslyhitwithabottle,wasnothischild.DDDD the youngest,twoyears old,was.So Tyrone tormentedandlookedwithdisfavoronBBBBB. While AAAA wasaway,he force-fed herdrieddog food,andat leastonce touchedherprivate area.I assume that he alsocalledhersuch pet namesas “bitch,”“cunt,” and “fuckingwhite girl.”Hisowndaughter,DDDD,he usedmore kindly,only neglectingheralongwithherabused sister,while he drankbeer,smokedweed,andplayedvideogames all day until AAAA came home,andhe forcedherto cook supper. My fatherisa retiredprofessor,andmymother,alsoretired,wasbedriddenandin decline. In2010, I visitedmyparentsinSyracuse,andAAAA andTyrone were livingintheirbasement. My daughtercame to the door to greetme,heavilypregnantandwithabig blackeye,whichshe explainedasdue toan “accident”in the kitchen.BetweenTyrone andme it wasdespise atfirstsight, and on mypart the dislikegrewwithfurtheracquaintance.Idon’tcare whathis opinionwasof me.
  • 4. WhenI returnedtoIsrael,myolderbrotherkeptme informedviae-mailof Tyrone andAAA’s furthermisadventures,the smallitemsthatwentmissing,theirhabitof hittingmyfatherupformoney “for diapers,”whichmybrothersuspectedTyrone spentonbeer.He hadseenBBBB made to sitby herself while theybothdotedonthe new baby.Mybrothertook pityonBBBB andplayedwith herand treatedherkindly,andtothisday BBBBB, now almostten,remembershimwithaffection.AfterDDDD was born,theymovedoutof my parents’house.Mydaughtercame home fromwork,andTyrone made hercook himsupper.She fell asleepatthe stove, woke uptoa raginggrease fire,andfoolishlytriedto douse itwithwater.Jerome ranoutside whenhe realizedthe house wasonfire.AAAA threw the girls out the secondfloorwindowtohim,andhe caught bothof them, andthengot a ladder,whichAAA climbeddown.The house wasunlivableafterthat,andtheymovedintothe homelessshelter,where Jerome threwthe bottle atBBBB, settingthe storyinmotion.ButI digressfrommytimeline. On the afternoonof Thursday, May 10th , 2012, Tyrone came intothe house drunk.BBBB was playingquietly,andDDDDwas inher crib,but up.Tyrone accusedBBBB of wakinghersister,andBBBB deniedit.Ina drunkenrage,Tyrone pickedupBBBB andslammedheragainstthe wall,thenjumpedon herleg,breakingit.He lether lie there inscreamingagony,andwentabouthisbusiness,whichinvolved more beerand a videogame. WhenAAAA came home fromwork,she suggestedwithaquaveringvoice thatshe take BBBB to the hospital.Tyrone’sresponse was“shutup,bitch.Youmake her quiet.She ain’thurtmuch,justfaking. I’ll give youbothsomethingtogoto the hospital for,youdon’tgether to shutup.” How doI judge my daughter?Inherteens,she rebelledagainstherrigidOrthodoxupbringing, and beganhangingoutwitha bad crowd,alongwithher olderbrotherEEEE. Perhapsitwasthe bipolar disorderthatbeganto showitself withthe onsetof adolescence.Perhapsitwasangerandjealousyat suddenlybeingthe middlechildinsteadof the babyof the family,withthe birthof herbrother,our post-9/11 surprise.Perhapsitwasbecause we livedcheapandhardin an oldfarm house inFar
  • 5. Rockaway’sBayswatersection.Whenshe waslittle,ourneighborhoodwasanatural wonderlandthat she rompedinhappilywithhertwoolder brothersandourdog Lucky. Whenshe became older,she noticedthatthe neighbors,especiallythe more prosperousof the Orthodox,lookeddownonus,butthe goyimwere more friendly.Thenshe discoveredanew kindof friend,name of Mary Jane,wholightenedhermoodandmedicatedawayherdepressions,andgave her an alternative toreality.Itmighthave beenthe factthat,unbeknownsttous,at age fourwhile ina neighborhooddaycare center,she wasfondledbythe mistressof the daycare’steenage son. Itmight have beenthe birthof her babybrotherGGGGGG, whichdemotedherfrombabyof the familytomiddle child. Itmighthave alsobeenbecause,ontopof thisexperience,Ihadto administergrowthhormone to her,and since she wasafraidof the hypodermic,Iwouldsneakuponherand injectherarm inher sleep. She’dwake withastartledgasp,and thenfall backto sleep,butthe expertherdefense lawyerhired testifiedthatthispractice of mine constitutedatrauma.It mightbe the fact that the growth hormone didn’ttake.She’sstill justadroptallerthana dwarf,and a verydisturbed,angryjust-a-drop-above- dwarf at that. Andon top of all that, Tyrone wasa just-a-drop-above-dwarf tosser.She hadbeenbattered, beaten,bodyslammedontothe floor,raped,cheatedonandshouteddownforthree years,andthe defense expertsaidthatthismade herirrationallyafraidof Tyrone,believinghe wassuperstrongand afraidof nothing,capable of anything.Soshe waitedforTyrone toleave,takinghis daughterDDDDto a neighborhoodbarbecue.Thenshe ranoutwithBBBBB strappedina stroller,andinsteadof wheeling herto the nearesthospital,she tookhertoa hotel roomand checkedin,tryingtotreat the fracturedleg witha hot bath andan ace bandage. I have not walkedamile inhershoes.Icannot judge her.Whoreallycan?Onlythe One True Judge. The bestI have evermanagedtodo isdeal withthe consequencesof herrashness.
  • 6. Passersbynotedherexodus,andthe state of herchild,andoffered totake themtothe hospital. But she refused,afraidinherdelusional battered-womanstate thatTyrone wouldfindthemthere and kill themonthe spot.The police came tothe hotel and arrestedher,andthenarrestedTyrone.The girls were putintofostercare. She didn’tgostraightfrom jumpropesandBarbie dollstoabusive relationshipsandout-of- wedlockchildren.Whenshe was13, we sentherto an upstate yeshiva,where she lastedlessthanaday, jumpingdownfromthe secondfloorwindow andmakingabreakforit. Her absence noted,the school staff pursuedandcorneredher,andshe threatenedherself withaknife togetthemtoback off.Instead theycaught her,and she wascommittedforobservationtoamental hospital.The doctorsconcluded that she was notmentallyill,butbythenacase had beenopenedagainstme forallegedabuse and neglect,because she wasongrowthhormone therapyandunnaturallyshort,soasocial worker informedusthathe’dbe visitingourhome toinvestigate.Mywife FFFFF,afraidthattheywouldtake custodyof the baby GGGGG, ran downto herparentsinFlorida,andI ran home fromwork,beggingoff due to an emergency,tomeetthe social worker. The social workerwas a pleasantfellow,one of the survivingBiafrans, whomIwassurprisedto learnwasJewish.He toldme that the house wasmessy,andhe probablywouldhave takenthe baby,if he were there.He gave me a weektocleanthe house up,saidthat he wouldn’tcountthe disrepairof the house againstme,justthe messinthe yardand inside.SoIhireda clean-upcrew forthe yard, and, witha little helpfrommyfriends,cleanedthe insideof the house,tearingoutoldcarpetingandhiring some handymentofix the more egregiousproblems.Uponreinspection,the social workerclosedthe case,and my wife still refusedtocome back withGGGGG. The day before YomKipur,the hospital saidtheywouldstartchargingme directly insteadof the insurance if Ikepther there anylonger,since theyhaddeterminedthatshe wasnot mentallyill.Sorightaftermakinghavdala(the ritual formallyendingaholiday),still hungryandwitha
  • 7. garrulouslyfriendlyinvitationbyone of the baaleibatim (householders)in shul(synagogue) tobreakthe fastby him,whichI had to ignore,I ran to retrieve mydaughterfromthe madhouse. I put herin a school fortroubledteenage girls,andEEEEE my son ina similarschool forboys.For six months,theydisappearedatnight,invitedotherkidsintothe house while Iwasatwork,played hooky,stole moneyandbelongings,andgenerally torturedme like abug,usingmypaternal affections and concernas a weapon,stompingonmyfeelingsinheavyboots. I endedupkickingheroutof the house towardsSpring,whenIlearnedfrommytenantthatshe was invitingkidsintothe housewhenIwasout,and notingthe chainsaw markson the livingroomwall, and the brokenchainsaw.She wentdownto Florida,andEEEE stayeduntil justbefore Passover,then wentdownto Floridaandstayedthere.Reunitedwithherpartnerinmischief,theybothtoldmywife that I had loudlycalledAAAA a“slut”while Iwaskickingheroutof the house,herbarricadedinthe downstairsbathroom.FFFFFsaidshe wantedadivorce,andItold herthat that wouldbe a mistake,and that the kidswere lyingaboutme.She disagreedloudly,andslammedthe phone down. Aroundthis time,Ibecame a regularguestat the home of some Satmar Chassidim.Theyhad such beautiful,well-behavedchildrenthatIknew rightawaywhere I had blunderedwithmyown.Their entire familylife wascenteredaroundcelebratingthe Shabbos(Sabbath),notjustthe foodbutalsothe songs,the childrentellingstoriesfromschool,the fatherexplainingthe basictenetsof Judaisminwords close to a child’sheart.Iwas intears,tellingthemof myowntrainwreckof a family.Afterthat,Iwas a regularguestat the home of one of the communityelders,whoregularlyentertainedaplethoraof guests,some children,grandchildrenandgreatgrandchildren,andothersstrangerssuchasmyself whomhe drewclose withthe holyatmosphere aroundhistable.Thiswashow Iwantedto be,always. My eldestsoncame home tovisitfromIsrael,andwe made the roundsof thissaintlymanandothersin the Satmar community.TheyconvincedhimthatZionismwasevil,buthe still wentbackto Israel just the same, where he isan ardentchossidof the Bialer-OstrovoRebbeinJerusalem. Inthe end,the
  • 8. Satmar communitybroughtme backintocontact withChabad.The Satmarshave successfullyinsulated themselvesfromthe badinfluencesof the modernworld,butChabadhasalwaysinsistedongoingon the offensiveagainstit,andreclaimingthe lostsoulscorruptedinit,suchas my twomiddle children. That was mymissionin life now. The house sold,one tenantdeadandthe othermovedout,I wentdowntoFlorida,too,to save our marriage forthe sake of the baby,andto do what I couldwiththe middle children. Esther, meanwhile,hadrunfromherschool in Florida,andcame back to New York,where Iput herback in the school fortroubledgirls,usingsome of the moneyfromthe sale of the house topay for hertuitionand lodging.Afteracouple of monthsthere,she ranback downto Floridaagain,where she proceededtoact up and makingmylife ashambleswithjuvenile courtappearances.Once,Ionlyhadenoughmoneyto geta busto the courthouse inSanford,andhad to walkback to Maitlandinthe rain. But I alwaysmade the court appearances,sothat she wouldknow thatI still caredabouther andwas lookingoutforher, for whatevergoodthatmightdo. In March of 2007, she wentto myparents’home inSyracuse,tryingtomake a new start and focuson an education.Insteadshe rode themraggedfora time,andaftera few monthstheysenther back to us,pregnant. I have writtenthe foregoingwithoutbenefitof dialogueinordertoacquaintyouwiththe backgroundof my story as quicklyaspossible. Itwouldprobablymake abookinand of itself,if Iwere to recountall the detailsinvividcolor.Butthat’sa projectfor anotherday.For now,I’ll contentmyself withthe eventsfollowingherarrestonMay 12, 2012, insertingafew flashbackswhereverappropriate and necessary.
  • 9.
  • 10. Tyrone.Onmy lastvisitto the UnitedStates,Isaw my daughterlivingwithhiminmyparents’ basement.She washeavilypregnantandhada blackeye whichshe assureduswas causedbyfalling againstthe table inthe kitchen.Tyrone,itseems,wasputhere on earth to reinforce everynegative stereotype aboutblackmenthatwaseverinvented.He waslazy.He wasshiftless.He wasvain.He was alsosingularlystupidandunfaithfultomydaughter,as well asabusive.HadInot alreadyoutgrownmy youthful prejudices,he wouldhave made me aracist.Instead,Isimplyloathedhimatfirstsight.Iwould have despisedhimthe same if he hadbeenarabbi witha longbeard,butbehavingashe did.But since I was visitingmyparents,Iwasnotgoingto make a scene in theirhouse. I am Chassidic,andI raisedmychildrentobe Chassidic,too.Sofar,it onlytookby one of them, and that wasnot Chava,whowas a wild,rebelliousgirl since herteens.We broughtherwithusto Israel, alongwithBasya,who wasthena baby. I gave hera round-tripticket,soshe shouldnotfeel she wasa prisonerkeptthere againstherwill.She letthe returnticketexpire,andafew weekslaterchangedher mindand calledmyfatherbehindmyback,andhe wiredhera returnticketto the US of A. There she landedonmy parentsinSyracuse,alongwith Tyrone the terrible. My fatherisa retiredprofessor,left-wing,agnosticandleaningtowardsatheism, aveteranof the anti-warmovementof the sixties.Inhisprime,he wasaformidable debaterandoverpowering personality.WhenIgotreligionatthe age of twelve,he stormedandragedat mychoice,usedall of his powersof persuasion,andIlearnedhowtolockhorns withhimindebate.Neitherof uspersuadedthe other,and despite hismanyobjections,he neverpreventedme frompracticingorthodox Judaism. Time passed,IreturnedtoIsrael withmythen-seven-year-oldsonBaruch. Chavagave birthto Chana.I graduatedfrommy course in Jewishcalligraphyandbecame ascribe.My father-in-lawdied, and mywife broughtherwidowedmotherovertolive withusinKiryatArba. Tyrone had throwna glassbottle at mygranddaughterBasya,and fortunatelyitdidnotbreak.Butthe protective serviceswere concernedaboutthe bruise.Sothe fourof them, Chava,Tyrone,Basyaand
  • 11. Chana (Tyrone’sdaughter,andlike him,brownskinned)gotona bus and headeddowntoSouthFlorida, where Tyrone’smotherlived.Enroute,theycalledmyfather,whoinformedthemthatthe police were waitingfortheminFlorida,sotheygot off inSavannaand Tyrone calledhiscousin Channel,whocame and broughtthemto herhome ina towntoo small tobe worthnaming here.There theysetuphouse, and mydaughterfoundworkin a conveniencestore.Tyrone “lookedafter”the girlsinhisownunique fashion,playingvideogames,forcingBasya,age four,toeat dog food,andfeedinghisChana,age two, whateverwasclose athand; potatochips,soda,candy,popcorn,etc. He wouldnotprepare a meal for them.He was too busygaming. On or aboutMay 10, Tyrone came home eitherdrunkorhigh,accusedlittle Basyaof wakingherlittle sister,andwhenshe deniedit,he pickedherupandthrew heragainsta wall,thenstompedonherleg, breakingit.