We know we can't solve our kids’ problems, as much as we’d like to. But we can tell stories that inspire them to work hard and make better choices. Here's how: this is a guide to telling honest stories about your worst mistakes, biggest wins, and all the lessons in between.

1. HOW TO RAISE
KIDS WHO SHARE
YOUR VALUESA guide to telling honest stories about
your worst mistakes, biggest wins,
and all the lessons in between

2. If you want to influence someone
to embrace a particular value
in their daily lives,
tell them a compelling story.
—Annette Simmons

3. As parents, we cannot protect our kids from
heartbreak and disappointment But we can
tell stories that prepare them to
MEET THE
CHALLENGES
OF THE WORLD.

4. We cannot solve our kids’ problems,
as much as we’d like to. But we can
TELL STORIESthat inspire them to work hard
and make better choices.

5. We cannot force our kids to adopt our values.
But we can tell stories that
INSPIRE THEMto act with fairness and integrity,
even when it is very tempting not to.

6. The problem is, most people don’t know how
to tell stories that kids will actually listen to and learn from.
Most parents deliver a lecture and think they’re telling a story.
But they’re not. So the lesson falls flat.

7. This is a problem, but fortunately,
it’s a problem with a simple solution.
LEARNHOWTOTELL
BETTERSTORIESOnce you understand the basic elements,
it’s simpler than you might think.
It’s also very exciting — and deeply rewarding.

8. BUTBEFOREYOU
TELLSTORIESABOUT
YOURVALUES,
YOUHAVETOKNOW
WHATTHEYARE.

9. When a research team at Duke University decided
to study values, this is what they found:
If you follow someone around for three weeks,
closely tracking their behaviour, you will see
their values clearly.
Your values are not what you “say” you care about.
Your values are what you actually do. (Behaviour.
Choices. Actions. Not words.)

10. YOUCAN’TTEACH
AVALUETHAT
YOUARENOTLIVING.

11. Kids are incredibly gifted at sniffing out fraudulence and hypocrisy.
If you are trying to teach a value that you’re not living,
your kids will be able to tell.

12. Imagine that a secret camera crew is following you around
for 24 hours without your knowledge. Based on what they observe
as you go about your daily business,
WHICHVALUESwould they see you living most often?

13. THESEAREYOURCORE
VALUESRIGHTNOW.

14. If you want to tell stories that your kids will remember —
STORIESTHATWILL
INFLUENCETHEIR
DECISIONSstart by telling stories that express your core values.

15. What if there are certain values
that you are not currently living...
but that you really want to be living?
Can you teach those values
to your kids, somehow?

16. If “Patience” is a value you want to be living, for example,
but you’re not a particularly patient person, then you need
to re-architect your life so that you can become a more patient person.
Once you’re a few steps down the path, then you can tell stories
about what you’ve learned so far, what you’re still struggling with,
and what you’re going to do next.

17. GREATSTORIES
SHAREFOURTHINGS
INCOMMON.(This is it: the master formula.)

18. Every great story ever told features someone in trouble.
Someone facing a challenge, a predicament, a real sticky situation.
You have to tell your kids stories about the things that went
wrong for you, and how you overcame those challenges,
even if the challenge is something as small as being late for a meeting.
CHALLENGE

19. We’re bombarded by so much input every second that we
literally can only process so much, and most of our attention goes
to the things that are out of the ordinary.
Your story will captivate and influence your kids if you include
a part where you did something they wouldn’t expect of you.
This “element of surprise” can be something as minor as ditching school
to go to the beach when you were a teenager, to something
as major as betraying a beloved friend.
SURPRISE

20. NOEMOTION?BORINGSTORY.
This doesn’t mean that you need to break down bawling
and sobbing every time you tell a story to your kids. It means that
you have to become an emotional archeologist: mining through
past experiences and then describing, honestly and openly,
how it felt back then, at that time, in the midst of that challenge.
EMOTION

21. Imagery is what makes a story stick. Without the right detail,
a story is heard once and then quickly dissipates. If you want your kids
to remember your stories and the lessons embedded in them,
add as much interesting visual detail as you can.
DETAIL

22. BRINGYOURWORK
HOMEWITHYOU.

23. Nobody wants to be labeled a
“WORKAHOLIC.”But there is a big difference between bringing your “workload”
home with you — your documents, your spreadsheets,
your lengthy phone calls — and bringing your “work” home with you
— as in, your passion, your excitement, your ideas,
your projects, your cause.

24. The next time you sit down to have a meal after work
with your family, ask: “What was the toughest thing you had
to deal with today and what did you learn?” Then share
a story of your own. Use this story as an opportunity to
INSTILLONEOF
YOURCOREVALUES.

25. YOUDON’THAVETO
KNOWALLTHEFACTS.
JUSTTHETRUTH.

26. Always remember when telling stories to your children that
“getting it right” has very little to do with “getting the facts down.”
“Getting it right” means tapping into the
emotional core of the story and then sharing your feelings,
as you recall them, honestly and vulnerably.

27. PERFECTIONISBORING.
SHOWYOURFLAWS.

28. It is impossible to live without
failing at something, unless you live
so cautiously that you might as well
not have lived at all – in which case,
you fail by default.
— J.K. Rowling

29. When you show your kids your flaws, you are giving them a
TREMENDOUSGIFT:The gift of knowing that failure is a natural part of life.
The gift of knowing that you are not perfect,
yet still worthy of admiration and respect.

30. Not because you always did everything “right.”
But because you have slipped, fallen, and still have the
GRITTOGETBACK
UPANDFIGHT.

31. STANDIN
YOURVALUESAND
DRAWOUTNEW
STORIESEVERYDAY.

32. Sara Blakely, founder of Spanx, the youngest female billionaire
in the US, is often asked: “To what do you credit your success?”
She says that all throughout her childhood,
her father posed the same question to his family around the dinner table,
time and time again: “What have you failed at this week?”

33. If Sara had no failures to report, her father would give
her a disappointed look. No failure meant she hadn’t
really been trying to challenge herself.
ANDTHAT...WAS
THEREALFAILURE.

34. This is a prime example of how you can use a recurring
family experience — like dinner time, driving to ballet class,
bedtime, bath time, or a special experience like a vacation,
or holiday gathering — as an opportunity to reinforce core values,
over and over, but in new and fresh ways.

35. Try it yourself. Create a new family ritual. This can be
centered around a daily question that your kids come to expect and enjoy.
“What is one way you helped another person today?”
It can be a recurring story-game around
the Sunday night dinner table.
“WHATHAVEYOU
FAILEDATTHIS
WEEK?”

36. Or, if you’re traveling, far away from your kids,
try doing a nightly bedtime text (“Tell me about the toughest
moment of your day. What did you do?
WHATDID
YOULEARN?) WHAT
DID YOU
LEARN?

37. By creating daily or weekly
STORYTELLING
RITUALSstorytelling will become a part of your life — an automatic habit,
rather than something you have to “think” about or “remember” to do.

38. Don’t give your kids the sanitized “résumé” version of your life.
Don’t give them lectures or preach lessons that you are not living.
That’s not interesting, helpful, or satisfying.That won’t help
to instill your core values.

39. Instead, give your kids honest,
EMOTIONALSTORIESabout your worst mistakes, your biggest wins,
and all the lessons in between. Show them who you are,
how you got here, and what you stand for. Show them where
you are still struggling and striving to improve, too.
MIS-
TAKE

40. This is how you will raise kids who
share your values, who root for you, and who are equipped
to meet the world’s challenges
ANDSUCCEED.

41. GIVEYOURKIDS
YOURBESTSTORIES.They will be forever grateful to you.
THANK YOU. BE WELL + TELL GOOD STORIES.

42. SO, ER, WHERE ARE THE STORIES?
It’s not lost on us that we’ve been talking about stories —
but haven’t yet shared any!
We’re about half-way through production on an eBook that’s rich
with stories and illustrative examples about telling great stories.
Sign up here to be the first to receive your free
What We Stand For eBook and guide.

43. ECHO IS A STORYTELLING AGENCY
We make books, videos and digital stories for companies
who need to engage customers and employees,
and for individuals who want to leave a legacy.