I am not a Terrorist chapter 2

Chapter 2
Meera’s house in Delhi was a two-bedroom apartment at Jor Bagh. Her office was just three kilometers
away from her house. Her meeting with Joint Secretary was frustrating; she had high hopes of him. Now
she was both tired and famished. Immediately after reaching home, she looked into her fridge for
something to eat. The fridge was completely empty and was switched off. Then she remembered that she
had emptied the fridge before leaving for Islamabad a few months ago. For the last five years, she had
been spending only seven to ten days a month in her house. She never carried her clothes while travelling,
she maintained her wardrobe both in her house and in Islamabad or wherever her posting took her to.
During her absence, a maid came to clean the house three times a week. Although her kitchen was well
stocked up, she was not in a mood to cook. She picked up the phone and ordered dinner then went into the
bathroom. She stood under a cold shower for a long time. She came out of the bathroom feeling refreshed.
Just as she had finished dressing, her door bell rang. She took delivery of the food and ate ravenously.
She had thought she would fall asleep as soon as she would lie down on bed. Although her eyes were
heavy with sleep, she couldn’t sleep as her mind was in turmoil. Slowly her mind went back to her past.
Memories started flooding back to her.
Meera’s father, Ratan Mehra was from a middle class family. Immediately after completing his B. Tech
in Petroleum Engineering, he got a job in ONGC. Two years later, he got an offer from a Saudi Arabian
company with a much higher salary. Like any other middle class young man, he grabbed the opportunity
for higher salary, knowing well about the harsh working conditions of Saudi Arabia. Two years later, he
married an Indian homely girl from his hometown. But he didn’t take his wife to Saudi Arabia. He visited
home every six months on one-month holiday. Meera was born two years later. Even then, he didn’t take
his wife and Meera to Saudi Arabia for next five years, because of the several restrictions for women in
Saudi Arabia. Under Saudi law, all females must have a male guardian, typically a father, brother or a
husband accompany them whenever they step out of the house. Girls and women were forbidden from
traveling or conducting official business without permission from their male guardians.
Nevertheless, when Meera turned five years old, she started insisting that he took them with him to Saudi
Arabia. Ratan loved his only daughter a lot, he couldn’t refuse.
Ratan got Meera admitted in the International Indian School in Jeddah in Class 1. The school was
affiliated to CBSE, Delhi. Meera was a brilliant student since the beginning. Apart from Science, General
Studies, she also studied Hindi, English and Arabic. She met girls from many other countries there. Her
closest friends were from Pakistan and Afghanistan. She helped them with Hindi and in turn learnt Urdu
from Pakistani girls and Pashto and Dari from Afghanistani girls. By the time she was in Class 8, she was
fluent in six languages- Hindi, English, Arabic, Urdu, Pashto and Dari. By the time she completed her

tenth grade, she was 16 years old. Ratan decided that he had made enough money and came back to India
with his family, and joined ONGC as a General Manager. He got Meera admitted in Delhi Public School,
East of Kailash Branch and bought a 3 bedroom bungalow near to the school, in F block. Meera’ school
was located just two lanes away from her house. Ratan’ office was in India Chowk near Connaught
Circus.
Meera found life in India entirely different from that of Saudi Arabia. In Saudi Arabia, she had lived
under many restrictions. She and her mother couldn’t go anywhere without her father; her father always
had to accompany them wherever they went. Life was suffocating for all of them there. In Delhi, she
could breathe the air of freedom for the first time in her life. In Saudi Arabia she was not allowed to
participate in many of the sports in school, but in India she was free to participate in any sport. She
grabbed the opportunity and started participating in all sports. Within the next six months, she became
captain of her school’s cricket and football team. She also became the fastest runner in her school.
Very soon, she realized that people were taking advantage of the lenient law of India, and everyone was
breaking laws everywhere. She saw people jumping signals, parking their cars right below no parking
signboards, and throwing garbage wherever they felt. Girls in her school talked about eve teasing and rape
cases where the culprits go free without any punishment. She asked her father about it. Her father
explained to her that, although India has all the laws in place it has never been enforcement properly. He
went on to explain to her that, until and unless people themselves realize it and decide to make a
difference, India would never change.
That was when she decided she would join the police force after completing her education.
One day, while coming back from school, she saw a banner announcing the opening of a Karate class near
her house. She noted down the address, went there and enrolled herself the very evening.
After completing her Class 12 from DPS she joined a B.A. Course with History and Political Science in
Lady Sri Ram College for Women which was located at Lajpat Nagar. By the time she completed her
B.A., she had collected many certificates in Karate and she was a black belt holder.
After completing her B.A., she prepared for Civil Services Examination for a year. She passed
Preliminary and Final exam with an excellent score. In fact, when result came out after the interview, her
photo was published in all newspapers across India. She had got 7th
rank in all India. She had the options
of joining Indian Foreign Service or India Administrative Services also, which were the most sought after
jobs by women. Her parents also suggested her to join either Foreign Service or Administrative Service
but she was adamant on joining the Indian Police Service. Seeing her determination to join Police Service,
her parents had to give up and agree with her.
She was asked to report at Sardar Vallabhbhai Patel National Police Academy, Hyderabad. During her
training, she met Mohan Sharma. He was 6’1” tall, well built man with a fair complexion. What attracted

her was his easy and infectious smile. She had seen him on the first day in the academy during the
introduction itself, but it was on her third day in the academy that she spoke to him for the first time. She
was having her breakfast, sitting alone at a table when she saw him coming towards her. When she looked
up at him, he smiled, “Hi, I am Mohan Sharma.”
She smiled back, “Hi, I know… I am Meera Mehra.”
“I know” said Mohan smiling.
Both started laughing.
“May I join you?” asked Mohan.
“Oh! Sure… Sorry… Please”
It was love at first sight for both of them. They were never apart during training period after that day.
They sat together in all their classroom classes and at all meals, and even during the field training they
tried to remain together. Many a times she amazed Mohan during physical training, with her speed and
stamina. In spite of being a woman, there was hardly any other person in the academy who could beat her
in physical training activities.
One day, during their final days in the Academy, while they were doing some field training her trainer
called her and told her that Director was calling her in his office. Both Meera and Mohan got scared.
Because the Director called someone to his office only if he has to say that the he was not happy with the
progress of the training and if it continued, the person might have to leave the Academy. They both had
seen some trainees go missing suddenly. Mohan assured Meera that nothing like that would happen with
her and the Director might have called her for some other reason.
But Meera was apprehensive about the meeting. When she knocked and entered Director’s office, she saw
another man sitting with the Director.
Seeing her entering the room, both of men stood up. Meera stood in attention and saluted them.
“Come Meera. Sorry, I had to pull you out from your training. But this was urgent. I wanted you to meet
Mr. Vikram Singh, he is the Joint Secretary in RAW.”
Vikram Singh smiled and extended his hand, “Hello Meera, I have heard a lot about you.”
Meera returned his smile “Good afternoon Sir. I hope you have heard all good things, Sir.” and shook his
hand.
“Please sit, Meera.” Director indicated a chair.
When Meera sat on the chair, both men sat back.
“Have you heard about RAW? What do you know about it?” asked Vikram Singh.
“Yes sir, I have but I don’t know much about it.” Meera said.
“Ok. I will tell you what we do. The primary function of RAW is gathering foreign intelligence and
counter-terrorism. In addition, it is responsible for obtaining and analyzing information about foreign

governments, corporations and persons to advise Indian policymakers. It is also involved in the security
of India's nuclear program.” He looked at Director and smiled. “We are always in lookout for young and
bright people. We came to know about you. Director had recommended you very highly and he had sent
your file to us. You have several plus points. You are highly intelligent, bright, physically fit, and you are
fluent in many Islamic languages. You could become one of our most resourceful agents in Islamic
countries. I want you to consider joining us.”
Meera was shocked as well as elated. She was not expecting this. She knew half the IPS trainees dream
for this opportunity. But she knew this job was not for her. She could have joined RAW if she had not
met Mohan. She wanted to live with him, enjoy life with him. She knew if she decided to join RAW she
would have to surrender her life to RAW, she was not prepared to do that.
She made her decision. “Thank you very much for your kind words about me, but I am sorry, Sir. I am
happy with Police job. I will serve my country from within.”
Both the Director and the Joint Secretary looked disappointed.
“I appreciate your frankness,Meera. It was nice meeting you. Thank you.” Both men got up. “Needless to
say, you will not discuss about this meeting with anyone. In fact, as far as you are concerned, this meeting
with me never took place.” Said Vikram Singh.
“Yes, sir. I know.” Meera got up after them.
She took two steps backward, saluted them, and left the room.
When she joined Mohan back in the training ground, she saw a worried look on his face.
She smiled at him.
“What happened? Why did he call you?” Mohan asked anxiously.
Meera whispered, “Director wanted to congratulate me for my good performance. Oh! My God, how
worried I was.”
Mohan was looking at her skeptically. She felt sorry for him and hated herself for lying to him like this.
She knew Mohan didn’t believe her.
After the completion of their training at the Academy, they were sent to different cities during their
probation period of two years. They had decided that they would get married after completing their
probation period. They knew they would get their final posting as Assistant Commissioner of Police after
completion of probation period. Meera was sure to get her posting in Delhi but as Mohan was from
Bangalore, she was not sure about him. He had assured her that he would try his best to get his posting
also in Delhi.
Finally, when four years later, Mohan got his posting in Delhi, they immediately got married. Mohan
started living with Meera at her father’s bungalow.

They went to Srinagar for their honeymoon. They rented a boat house on Dal Lake. That was the most
memorable seven days of Meera’s life. When they came back after honeymoon, they both were beaming
with happiness.
One of Mohan’s colleagues asked him, “Where did you stay in Srinagar?”
“We rented a boathouse at Dal Lake.”
“Which are the places did you two visit in Srinagar?” another colleague asked.
“We didn’t get time to go out anywhere.” Mohan replied smiling
“Seven days…and you didn’t get time. What did do for seven days?” asked his surprised friend.
“We made love, ate and slept.”
“Didn’t you get bored holed up in a boat house for seven days?” His colleague asked incredulously.
Mohan smiled, “Yes, we did get bored sometimes”
“Then what did you do?”
“What else to do…we made love again”
They all burst into laughter.
Six months later Meera announced that she was pregnant. Everyone at home was filled with joy.
When she was seven months pregnant, she took maternity leave for four months.
One evening when Mohan came home, he asked, “You are on leave now. Are you ready for second
honeymoon?”
“In this condition?” Meera asked smiling.
“Why not? This time we will visit places in Srinagar. Last time we didn’t get time for anything else.”
Mohan smiled.
“Sure, I would love to. Here you hardly spend any time with me, there; at least we will have the whole
day and night for ourselves. But can you take a leave now?”
“Yes, in fact my ten days leave…starting tomorrow.”
“Wow!” Meera exclaimed, then hugged him, “I love you.”
“I love you too, my love.” said Mohan, “We will go by car this time. It will be more convenient. We can
stop on the way. Tomorrow morning we will leave at ten and spend night in Amritsar and visit Golden
Temple in the following morning then proceed to Katra. After spending one night in Katra, we will go to
Srinagar. We will stay in Srinagar at a boat house for five days then come back the same way. This way,
we will enjoy our journey and you both will also be comfortable.” He pointed at her protruding belly and
smiled.
When they reached Srinagar, Mohan said, “Let us take a boat house at Nageen Lake this time. Remember
what the Shikara driver had told during our last visit?”

“Yes, I remember very well,” Meera smiled, “While taking us around the lake he had said ‘Nageen Lake
is a lake for royals and Dal for all others’ and you had promised me that we would stay at Nageen Lake
during our next visit.”
Mohan shouted, “Nageen Lake…here we come.”
Both started laughing.
Nageen Lake was very beautiful; there were no words to describe the beauty of that lake. There was peace
and tranquility all around the Nageen Lake. Unlike Dal Lake, there was hardly any disturbance from the
various vendors selling their wares.
They lived in a boathouse at Nageen Lake for five days. After breakfast every morning, they would go out
in their car and explore Srinagar then come back to their boathouse after having lunch in a Kashmiri
restaurant. They would simply drive on a different road every day. First day they drove on Boulevard
Road and Fore Shore Road, which ran along Dal Lake, it felt like driving on Marine Drive of Bombay.
Next day, while driving on Hazratbal Road they saw University of Kashmir. Third day, before leaving the
Boat House, they asked the cook to pack lunch for them. That day, they had picnic in Shalimar Garden.
They spread a bed sheet on lush green spacious lawn of Shalimar Garden and had lunch there. After
lunch, Mohan lay down on the bed sheet and kept his head on Meera’s lap. He looked up at Meera’s face,
“You know, Shalimar Garden is also known as “Abode of Love”. It was made by Emperor Jahangir for
his Queen Nur Jahan, and I am enjoying his “Abode of Love” with my Queen.”
Meera stoked his face lovingly.
On their fourth day in Srinagar, they went for a Shikara ride. The boatman was very friendly and helpful.
He rowed them around Nageen Lake. In the evening, they went to Chinar Bagh.
On their fifth day, the final day in Srinagar, they decided stay at the boathouse the whole day because
next they had to drive back home. After dinner that evening, they went out for walk. It was 8.30 in the
evening. Most of the streetlights were off. There were several cars parked near ‘Shining Roses Papier
Mache’ building. They walked on Hazratbal road up to Shalimar Furniture, and then they decided to turn
back as Meera was feeling tired. They had just turned around and were walking back towards their
boathouse when they heard firing of machine guns near Nageen Club. Due to the years of police training,
both their hands automatically went to their waist to pullout their service revolver. Then they realized
they had left their guns at home in Delhi.
“Meera…you wait here, I will see what is happening.” Mohan said.
Meera held him by hand, “No, please don’t go. You don’t even have your gun with you. Let’s call the
police.”

Mohan pulled his hand, “We are the police. You call the local police. I am going…you stay here…don’t
move.” And without giving any chance for her to protest, he started running towards Nageen Club. When
he reached the ‘Shining Roses Papier Mache’ building, he saw four extremists holding AK47 and firing
indiscriminately towards ‘Shining Roses Papier Mache’. A fifth man was standing on the other side of
Hazratbal road opposite to ‘Shining Roses Papier Mache’ and giving instructions to them. He was
obviously their leader. Mohan ran fast but along one side of the road. He was bending low, trying to hide
himself behind the parked cars. When he got closer, he crouched behind a car. He saw one of the terrorists
firing and walking backwards. When the terrorist reached near the back of the car, he stopped to change
his magazine. He didn’t notice Mohan crouching near him. Moment he changed his magazine and cocked
his AK47, Mohan swung his leg, and hit him on the back of his knees. The terrorist fell on his back and
hit his head on the ground. He was momentarily paralyzed. That much time was enough for Mohan, he
held the terrorist chin in one hand and other hand grabbed him by his shoulder and twisted his neck with
one quick jerk. He heard the sound of bone crunching. The terrorist was dead in his arms. He freed AK47
from terrorist’s hands and sat on his knees. The other three terrorists and their leader were in his range.
He took aim and fired three shots in quick succession one after another, he saw the three terrorists falling
on the ground. He turned towards their leader. He saw the leader was running towards a jeep parked some
ten feet away from him for the cover. Mohan started firing at the leader but none of the bullets hit the
leader. He had safely reached behind the jeep. Now Mohan was in the leader’s target. The leader started
firing at Mohan. Mohan jumped behind a car and sat on his knees and was about to look from the side of
the car when he heard something falling near him, he looked at it. It was a hand grenade lying just two
feet away from him. He jumped; he was in air, when the grenade exploded. Mohan was thrown on the
middle of road. When he fell on the road, he felt numb on the lower part of his body, and looked down
and found both his legs were missing. There were multiple injuries on his back. He was still holding
AK47 firmly in his hand. He was lying on the road on his stomach; he looked up, saw the leader standing
behind the jeep and looking towards him. With great effort, Mohan lifted AK47 and pulled the trigger.
He heard the click-click sound, gun didn’t fire, the magazine was empty. He saw the terrorist had started
walking towards him. At that moment he heard Meera voice, she was running towards him, shouting,
“No…no…no.”
Meera came running and sat near him and took his head in his hand, “Oh my God…oh my God…Police
is coming, just hold on darling.” Tears were flowing down her cheeks.
Then both them saw the leader of the terrorist standing near them and looking down at them. He put the
muzzle of his gun on Mohan’s head, “You Indian bastard, you have killed four of my brothers.”
“Please…please.” was all Meera could say. She looked up at the terrorist, tears were rolling down her
cheeks.

The terrorist kicked hard on Meera stomach. Meera cried aloud and rolled up in agony. The terrorist
kicked her stomach repeatedly, until Meera was not able to cry, she was just looking at Mohan’s helpless
face. Mohan extended his hands, trying to protect her.
Then the terrorist removed his headscarf, which was covering his face. He said, “I am Abdul Nadir. I am
the leader of Lashkar-e-Taiba. This is my land. We will kill all the Indians in Kashmir. Kashmir is
ours…we will take it.” He kicked Meera once again, “I am leaving you alive, you Indian bitch, you go
back to India and tell everyone, Abdul Nadir does not want any Indian to come to Kashmir.”
At that moment they heard the wailing of police siren approaching fast towards them. Abdul Nadir smiled
at them, put muzzle of his AK47 near Mohan’s head and fired. Mohan’s face and head turned into a mass
of blood, bones and muscles. Parts of his brain flied all around, it was like pieces of white cotton
scattering around. Meera looked at Mohan body in horror. Then she looked up. Abdul Nadir was looking
down at her, smiling. He kicked her hard on her head, and then she lost her consciousness.
Meera opened her eyes after one week. Memories came flooding back to her. She sat on the bed,
shouting, “Mohan…Mohan…Where is Mohan? How is he?”
Two nurses held her tight or she would have jumped out of bed.
She looked around her. Her father, mother, and in-laws were standing there. They were all crying. Meera
fainted again.
She was in and out of consciousness for next seven days. Doctors were giving her sedatives regularly.
On fifteenth day, when she was fully conscious, her father told her that they had moved her from Srinagar
hospital to AIMS in Delhi a few days ago. They had not yet cremated Mohan, because they were waiting
her to stabilize first. Sad news was she had not only lost Mohan, she had Mohan’s unborn child too.
At that moment, a wave of hatred ran through her body, which made her shiver and it travelled deep into
her bones. She vowed – ‘One day I will kill Abdul Nadir and destroy his ‘Lashkar-e-Taiba’.’
That evening doctor asked her if she was feeling well enough to talk to police.
She nodded.
Five minutes later, Commissioner of police with five of her colleague walked in to the room.
The Commissioner sat on a stool, while the others stood around the bed.
“I am very sorry, Meera. But we will catch that bastard.” said the Commissioner, “Are you up to it? We
need to know what happened.”
Meera told them what happened in Srinagar. The Commissioner showed her the photo of Abdul Nadir,
photo was about five years old, but she recognized the face.
Next day commissioner came to hospital with Mr. Vikram Singh, the Joint Secretary of RAW.
“How are you feeling now, Meera?” asked Commissioner.

Meera tried to smile at him. She wanted to ask him, ‘What kind of foolish question is this? I have not only
lost my husband in a terrorist attack but I have also lost my unborn baby. What do you think, how I must
be feeling?’ but didn’t say anything.
The Commissioner turned to her father and mother sitting next to bed, “If you don’t mind, we would like
to talk to Meera alone.”
“Sure.” Her father said. Then her parents went out of the room.
The Commissioner and Vikram Singh occupied the vacant stool.
“Meera, this is Mr. Vikram Singh, he is the Joint Secretary in RAW. He…” Vikram Singh interrupted
him, “We have met…I met Meera at Police Academy in Hyderabad. I am sorry for your loss Meera. I am
sorry that we are meeting after such a long time, under these circumstances.”
“Thank you, Sir.” all Meera could manage to say, she was trying hard not to cry.
Vikram Singh looked at her for moment then said softly, “See Merra, we are taking over your case, as this
is related to Abdul Nadir and Lashkar-e-Taiba. We have been after him for a long time, but you are first
person we have who has seen him face to face. If you are up to it, we need your help to catch the bastard.”
“Anything, sir…anything I could do to kill that bastard…I will do it…Sir.” Meera said vehemently. She
could feel the anger and the rage building up inside of her. The anger inside of her was erupting, and her
entire body started shaking.
“I understand your feelings Meera,” said Vikram Singh, “Please control your emotions…I…I know it is
difficult.”
He took a glass of water and put it near Meera’s mouth, “Please…take a few sips.”
Meera drank a few sips of water. Vikram kept the glass back at the table, “Good. Now Meera, I want you
to think like a police officer, and start from the beginning and tell me whatever you remember, step by
step, point by point.”
Meera closed her eyes to think about the incident. Her whole body shuddered; it was too painful for her to
think about that evening. Few drops of tears rolled down from the corner of her closed eyes. She steeled
herself, wiped her tears with back of her hand and then opened her eyes.
She was a tough police officer once again. She narrated the story as third person, without bringing any
emotion to her narration; she told them what she saw as a police officer. When she finished, both
commissioner and Vikram Singh were looking at her with amazement; for her strength and courage.
“Thank you, Meera. You have been a good help. We will meet again. You take care of yourself.” said
Vikram Singh getting up.
Commissioner also got up, then both of them walked to the door.
Meera was looking at their back. The moment commissioner opened the door, Meera said, “Vikram Sir,
can I talk to you alone for a moment… please?”

Commissioner looked at her surprised, but nodded and went out of the door.
Vikram Singh closed the door and came near the bed, “Yes, Meera.”
“Sir…is your offer still open for me?” asked Meera.
“Yes, it is. We always welcome courageous and dedicated person like you.” said Vikram Singh. He took
out a visiting card from his pocket and gave it to her, “Call me as soon as you are fit. We will talk about it
in detail.”
That day onwards, Meera started recovering very fast. One week later she was discharged from the
hospital. It took three months for her to regain her strength. She started her regular physical fitness
exercises.
About four months after the Srinagar incident, Meera called Vikram Singh and drove to RAW head
office. She parked her car in the visitors parking and went to the reception. She gave her name to the
receptionist.
“Yes, Ms. Meera. Mr. Vikram is waiting for you. Just give me a few minutes. We will give you a visitor’s
pass.” said the receptionist. “Please look here.” She pointed to a box like object.
Meera guessed the box like object had a hidden camera. Receptionist clicked few buttons and then she
handed over a visitors pass to Meera with her photo on it.
A smart looking tall man in Jeans and black T-Shirt came to her, “Please follow me, Ms. Meera.”
Then he started walking towards the bank of lifts. Meera turned to receptionist and said, “Thank you.”
Receptionist gave her a professional smile, “You are welcome, Ms. Meera.”
The man had already reached the lift and pressed a button. By the time she reached him, lift stopped and
its door opened.
Once inside the lift, the man pressed number seven. Meera felt lift moving up. When lift stopped on the
seventh floor, both of them walked down a long corridor leading to a large reception area.
“Sapna, this is Ms. Meera. Ms. Meera this is Ms. Sapna. She is the Personal Assistant to the Joint
Secretary.” The man said then left.
Both women shook hand.
“Please come Ms. Meera, the Joint Secretary is waiting for you.” said Sapna.
They walked to a door. Sapna knocked, opened the door and announced, “Sir, Ms. Meera is here.” And
then she stood on one side to let Meera enter the room. She went out and closed the door after Meera.
Meera was in a large spacious room. On one side of the room, there was a large window, venetian blind
was open to let natural light flood the room. Vikram Singh was sitting behind a large desk and there was
a laptop in front of him.
When Meera entered the room, Vikram Singh stood up, “Come Meera, please sit.” He pointed to a chair
opposite to him.

When Meera sat down, Vikram Singh sat back, “I am very sorry for your loss...Meera. But this is life.
Life is very uncertain.”
Meera nodded, “Thank you Sir. I am trying to adjust. But I am burning with anger to take revenge. If you
give me a chance, I will…” she couldn’t continue as she was chocked with emotions.
Vikram Singh looked at her for a moment without saying anything, the he cleared his throat, “I
understand your emotions. But I must tell you this…if you join us…you will not take this job as a tool to
take your revenge. You will join to serve your country. You must always bear in your mind that country
is above all emotions and all relations. At any point of time, if I came to know that you are using the
resources of this office to take the revenge then you will be fired then and there. Yes,of course, as you are
familiar with different Islamic languages and have lived in Saudi Arabia, we will be posting you in Saudi
Arabia, Afghanistan and Pakistan. And your first mission will be to find Abdul Nadir dead or alive and
destroy Lashkar-e-Taiba. For this you will get all the support. But… you will do this job and as you
would do any other job…without clubbing your job with your personal vendettas. Am I clear Meera?
Meera looked in his eyes, “Yes, sir.”
“Good. Now let us get down to business. I have already sent a request letter to the Commissioner for
your transfer to us. Formalities will take some time, but as of today you are working for us.”
“Thank you, sir”
“Now, I will give you a brief and structure of RAW. Rest of the details you will learn on your own in due
course.” He smiled then continued, “RAW has been organized on the lines of the CIA. The head of RAW
is designated ‘Secretary (Research) in the Cabinet Secretariat. The ‘Secretary (Research), although is
under direct command of the Prime Minister, reports on an administrative basis to the Cabinet Secretary,
who report to the Prime Minister. However, on a daily basis the ‘Secretary (Research)’ reports to the
National Security Advisor. An Additional Secretary is responsible for the Office of Special Operations
and intelligence collected from different countries processed by large number of Joint Secretaries, who
are the functional heads of various specified desks with different regional divisions/areas/countries: Area
one – Pakistan; Area two – China and Southeast Asia; Area three – the Middle East and Africa; and Area
four – other countries. Two Special Joint Secretaries, reporting to the Additional Secretary are the head
the Electronics and Technical Department. The Director General of Security has two important sections -
the Aviation Research Centre is headed by one Special Secretary and the Special Services Bureau
controlled by two Special Secretaries.” Vikram Singh paused to take a sip of water then continued. “Your
basic training will start tomorrow morning and after the training you will be attached to Field Intelligence
Bureau (FIB) for advanced training. This training will be provided in the Indian Military
Academy at Dehradun.”
Then he picked up the phone and asked, “Is it ready?...Good, bring it here.” Then he replaced the phone.

A few moments later, the door opened and Sapna walked in. She handed over an ID card to Meera and
left the room.
“You will report to your training instructor on the 5th
floor tomorrow morning at 7 ‘O clock.” said
Vikram, “I will keep in touch with you from time to time. After completion of your training, you will
work under me. I am the Joint Secretary of Area one, our main responsibility is Pakistan but I can send
you to any other division/area/country as and when required.”
Meera’s training started the next day. There were ten other new recruits in that room. Most of them were
younger to her. Basic training commenced with 'pep talks' to boost the morale of the new recruit. Training
lasted for ten days. In these ten days phase, they were familiarized with the real world of intelligence and
espionage. They were taught the common usages, tradecraft techniques and classification of information.
They also leant about Financial and economic analysis, Space Technology, Information Security and
Energy Security. Then the recruits were made to specialize in a foreign language and introduced to Geo
strategic analysis. This was the easiest part for Meera. Everyone was impressed with her fluency in
Arabic, Urdu, Pashto and Dari languages. They were presented with the case studies of other agencies
like CIA, KGB, ISI, Mossad and MI6. They were also taught ways of investigating economic crimes like
money laundering for terror purposes. On completion of their ten days training they were sent to Indian
Military Academy, Dehradun.
She had told her parents that she had joined RAW, but she didn’t tell them about the nature of work. She
only told them that in her new job, she would be travelling most of the time and when in Delhi her work
timing would not be fixed. Hence, once she comes back from this trip, she would like to shift to a
different house, as she didn’t want to disturb them. Her parents understood her actual feelings - she
wanted to remain away from the house because it reminded her of Mohan all the time. Hence, they
agreed. He father assured her that he would look for a two bedroom apartment for her somewhere near
her office.
Her advance training lasted for two years. During those two years, she was given firsthand experience of
what it was to be out in the figurative cold - conducting clandestine operations. During night exercises
under realistic conditions, she was taught infiltration and exfiltration. She was instructed to avoid capture
by the enemy and if caught then how to face interrogation. She learnt the art of reconnoitering, making
contacts, and the numerous skills of operating an intelligence mission.
During her last six months of training, she was sent to Israel to join Mossad training camp. During those
six months, she was given exhaustive training in the art of self-Defence mainly Krav Maga, and the use of
technical espionage devices. She found it very effective. She learnt that Krav Maga was a combat system
developed in the middle of the last century to train the Israeli. It was based on a scientific and realistic

approach to combat according to which, in a dangerous situation, the primary objectives are protection of
self and others and neutralization of an obstacle in the shortest time possible and with minimum physical
effort. To achieve this goal, it is essential to act on sensitive body points of the aggressor. Krav Maga was
combined techniques from different martial arts and fighting disciplines, to create a highly effective and
easy to learn method; that of counter attacks with bare hands, blades, firearms or blunt objects. Krav
Maga, meaning “close combat", was also referred to as an ‘open system’ because it is constantly updated
and improved based on the experiences of real life situations.
At the end of the field training, the she was brought back to the school for the final polishing. She was
then drilled in various administrative disciplines so that she could take her place in the foreign missions
without arousing suspicion. She was now ready to operate under the cover of an Embassy to gather
information, set up her own network of informers, moles or operatives as the task may require.
Her first posting was in Indian Embassy in Saudi Arabia, then she was sent to Afghanistan and then to
Pakistan. She was working as First Secretary in Press & Information Wing of High Commission of India,
Islamabad, Pakistan since last two years.
Beep…beep of her alarm clock brought her back to the present day. She extended her hand lazily and
stopped the alarm. She had not slept a blink the whole night and was feeling a little disoriented. It was
5.30am in the morning. She got up and immediately went into the bathroom. She took a cold shower and
was ready to leave for her office by 6.30am. She decided to have breakfast in office canteen.
As soon as she reached her office, her assistant told her that the Joint Secretary wanted to see her the
moment she came in. Her office was also on 7th
floor of the building, like all other people working in
Area one under the Joint Secretary, Mr. Vikram Singh.
Moment she sat in front of Vikram Singh, he passed on a file to her, “Flight Lieutenant Rahul Varma was
debriefed in Afghanistan in the presence of our officers and agents of CIA. Go through this file. He will
be in Delhi tomorrow. We will give him a day to rest then call him to our office. We will debrief him
once again. By ‘We’ I mean the Joint Secretaries of Area one, two and three, and our top bosses; the
Secretary, the Additional Secretary with officers from Special Operations, and DG Security will also be
present.”
“Sir, I need you to get me into Flight Lieutenant Rahul Varma’s debrief.” said Meera excitedly.
“No. Only very senior people will be there. In any case what good would it do?
“Sir, you know I am a trained interrogator. I will ask him a few questions,” She hesitated, “and …and…
look into some hole in his story.”

Vikram waved his hand dismissing it, “Hah!, Meera…we are not interrogating him. We are just
confirming what he had already told in Afghanistan. He will be more relaxed in home ground. As I told
you this would just be a formality, in fact, we are welcoming a war hero...”
“A war hero, who could be a terrorist, planning to kill important people in India.” she added sarcastically.
“Stop this Meera. You do not have any proof.”
“I am having trouble collecting any information sitting so far away for Pakistan and Afghanistan. I am
sure Abdul Nadir planned it all. He planted Rahul Varma in the safe house and someone very cleverly
planted a leak that Hafez Saeed with his dogs was hiding there. You must check who gave that
information to US Marine.”
Vikram was getting irritated, “Then go to Afghanistan and find out. Once you have any solid proof then
come to me.”
“I will do that, but let me be present there in his debrief… Sir, Please?” Meera pleaded.
“I am not sure...Meera. I will check with my boss – the Additional Secretary.”
“Sir, you know, he doesn’t like me… after Peshawar incident...”
“Do you blame him?” Vikram eyes bored into hers.
“No, but...Sir, you know…I belong in that room.”
Vikram looked at her a moment, “Ok, I will do my best. But promise me that you will behave yourself?
Meera didn’t say anything.
“Meera, promise me that you will behave properly. You will not start your interrogation in that room.”
“I promise.” Meera sighed.
“Good, I will see to it that you are present in that room. I sincerely hope you don’t make a fool out of me
or yourself”
“Trust me sir, I will not. Thank you, Sir.” said Meera smiling. But she was not sure if she would be able
to keep her promise.
***
Availabe at Amazon. Click on http://lrd.to/i-am-not-a-terrorist
To connect with Sunil Sinha visit his website http://www.authorsunilsinha.com or
his Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/authorsunilsinha

I am not a Terrorist chapter 2

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