1. Caretakers in Outerspace – Radio Comedy Series
In space - no one can hear you clean…
The Feather Orbiter (FO) is the world’s most ambitious Space Station, perched
on the top of a 200 mile high Astro Rise Space Elevator. It’s a high tech
laboratory, populated by a colony of oddball scientists, busy body bureaucrats
and crazy visionaries all devising strategies to save our dying Earth below. The
Ice caps have melted, gravity’s gone mental, and now the world’s spinning out of
control like a sour olive in a never ending tsunami.
Who can blame work shy caretakers, Morris (50) and Trevor (30) for
desperately seeking an exit strategy?’ An over opinionated Morris has convinced,
an underrated Trevor to join him on this elevator ride to a better life with promises
of 3D crosswords, virtual horse racing, and pullable aliens. But hopes of starting
a new life soon evaporate. They’re still scrubbing floors, fixing surveillance
equipment and fighting a war of attrition with pushy, middle manager Francesca
Forbes (40) – It’s a protracted dispute regarding ‘unpaid tea breaks and back
pain caused by lifting crates of dark matter.’
They’re little more than cogs in the machine, in fact – they’re not even the oil that
greases the cogs. But Morris won’t give up on his dream to open his own tea
import/export emporium and eventually put his feet (even further) up, in his
retirement pad somewhere on the far sides of the Milky Way. Trevor believes
he’s stuck on the FO as a punishment for his cronic track record with female
relationships, but he won’t ‘lift a finger’ to prove he can be a better person. Could
an unlikely romance with nerdy scientist Dr Delilah Zimbeezee (25) be his
chance to change, and will Francesca’s ambitions for promotion to the top table
be realised, or will her corrupt relationship with head of the Feather Orbiter
colony – Queenie Devine (70), be her downfall?
The Medical Trial - Trevor takes one of Francesca’s Medical drug trials to raise
some extra needed cash for the tea kitty. But when he starts to suffer side

2. effects, Delilah diagnoses that his brain is being attacked by an army of
Nanobots to make him a more compliant member of staff. In a parody of ‘The
Fantastic Voyage’ and ‘Apocolpse Now’ – Morris embarks on a mission to rescue
Trevor’s mind, shrinking to the size of a pinhead and getting injected into Trevor.
Morris is captured by the North Korean nanobot army and is given the ‘Kim Jong-
un’ haircut. He eventually overpowers his captors with the mind bending powers
of Swiss Cheese, emerging victorious from his quantum voyage to scupper
Franscesca’s plans for space station promotion.
Sexual Healing - Delilah asks Trevor to mind her Jovian fruit flies. Things take a
turn for the worse when the frisky little things break out of their cage during their
mating season, causing sexual panic on the FO. Trevor accidently saves the day
and an unlikely love interest with Delilah starts to blossom.
Floor 1291 – Morris and Trevor get trapped in the Astro Rise Space Elevator -
for three months. They finally escape to the virtual delights of Floor 1291, feeding
their addictions to gambling and women until they are tracked down by the
grumpy Eebygumbot, the space station’s Yorkshire surveillance unit and a cat
and mouse ‘war of the roses’ ensues…
Christmas Delivery - Morris and Trevor thought they knew everything about
each other until they meet other versions of themselves working at the post office
in a parallel universe.
Caretakers in Outerspace …is a quirky comedy that defines itself by exploring
the theme of extra-ordinary people, doing ordinary jobs in a technologically
desperate future. Morris and Trevor are stuck in a cruel purgatory, below them a
world that is falling apart and above them a universe of surreal uncertainty and
danger. They’re lazy but loveable, they’re an institutionalised, university of life
educated, married couple – whose only real control over the chaos around them
is their ability to make a decent cup of tea in zero gravity conditions...’put the
kekkle on Trev, make mine an Earl Gravy’.