1. WritingSample:Excerptfrom TheLost Generation, 2015
“Mother Knows Best” and Doxing the Alcorns
Back in the wake of Leelah’s suicide,the outcryagainstherparentsonthe internetwasmassive.
Deaththreats,insults,andblame inall itsformssurgedagainstthe survivingAlcorns’,demanding,ina
way,what manywouldthinkof as atonement.Theywere quotedinnearlyeverypublicationregarding
the deathof theirchild,initiallythe Facebookpostmade justafterherdeath,thenthe statementthey
made inresponse towhytheycontinuedtorefertoher as Joshuawithhe/himpronouns,whichwas
essentiallycutdownto“we don’tsupport[that] for religiousreasons”everytime.
The questionof whetherornotthe AlcornsholdresponsibilityforLeelah’sdeathisaserious
one.The case isso highprofile nowthatitwouldalmostbe a disservice toignore the role theyplayed
completely.However,whatthe AlcornsdidtoLeelahisinnoway unique.Arguably,the onlyreason
Leelah’scase isfamousishersuicide note.While individual casesof parentallyfueledsuicideare
individuallydevastatingforanyone involved,doxingthe Alcornsisnota broadsolution;there will be no
motivationforothersnotto dowhat theydid,partiallybecause hercase istalkedaboutsolittle now,
and alsobecause eachparentor guardianisunderthe unique impressionthattheyare uniquelyinthe
right.The overall problemremains.
The saying“motherknowsbest”isoftensaidinregardto whena parent,especiallyamother,
interceptsthe decisionof achildinwhat theyperceive tobe the child’sbestinterest.Inregardtohow
thisaffectstransgenderteens,itoftenresultsinthe “forcedcloseting”of a transgenderchildvia
suppressionof communication,dress,anduse of the correct pronouns,oftencompoundedwithverbal,
physical,andemotional abuse asanenforcertobe compliantinthe closeting.Isolation,bothsocial and
physical,isone of these enforcers.
The use of guiltandgaslighting –the deliberate denial of memoriesorexperience tocause
confusionandself-doubt–to control the behaviorof a childare elementsof whatisgenerally definedas
psychological abuse,withelementsof the subcategoryof emotional abuse.Arguably,thisisexactlywhat
deliberate,aggressivemisgenderingandrejectionof genderidentityis.InLeelah’scase,thiswasfurther
compoundedbydegradinginsults made byherparentswithregardtoher identity.While psychological
abuse can be difficulttoprove andisgenerallynotconsideredbyChildProtective Servicestobe a
priority,asthe processof investigationcantake monthsbefore chargescanbe filed, the American
PsychiatricAssociationregardspsychological abuse tobe justasharmful as physical andsexual abuse
froma parent,resultingindepression,socialandgeneral anxiety,andattachmentproblems,among
othereffects.Inthiscase,internalizedtransphobia,internalizedblame forrejection,andself-hate are
alsomajor symptoms.
The same tacticsusedby parentsto control a child’sgendervariantbehaviorare oftenusedby
reparative therapists:outrightdenial,rejectionof identity,andforcingseparation. Thereisno roomfora
practice thatallows parentsto pay a professionalto psychologically abusetheirchild,and there is no
roomforthoseparentsto notbe held responsibleif awareof whatthechild is putthrough in therapy. It
isirrational toallowa practice that cashesin on,perpetuates,normalizes,andfacilitatespsychological
harm to continue tofunctionlegallywithinthe UnitedStatesborders.Organizationslike Stonewall
Youth inOlympia,Washington,have made headwaywithstate programsregardinghow transgender
wardsof the state are cared forand keptout of reparative programs,butthere isstill nostate ban on
the therapy.Infact, there are onlytwo statesinthe entire countrythat banit for minors – Californiaand
NewJersey.Puttingintoplace bansonreparative therapyonanationwidelevel hastobe a priorityon
the transgenderagenda,soto speak,if activiststrulydohope toprotecttrans youth.