1. Own your
Scars
By Matshego Rawula, South Africa
42 THE AFRICAN PA Magazine | March 2016
FEATURE
while back one of my
closest friends went through
one of the most daunting
experiences a person canA
Photo Source: www.asds.net
can possibly go through. Daunting is
possibly not the word for it, life
changing is more fitting. I remember
when she told me she had to undergo
Mitral Valve Replacement and I thought
‘Matra Va’ what?
In layman's terms this meant she had a
heart condition and had to undergo an
operation to replace a valve. I was
scared. She was young, vibrant,
outgoing, and her future was bright.
Why this? Why her? Why now? The
facts of this particular situation didn’t
help either. Less than half of the
people that endure no less than
seven hours’ operation survive it and
apparently it is hardly ever properly
diagnosed. A person would simply have
a heart attack and die. She had no
medical aid and henceforth had to
completely be at the public hospital's
mercy. Basically all the odds were
against her. I was so scared. I don't
remember ever praying so much.
She survived it.
The recovery process alone seemed
like it would kill her. She was in so
much pain, lost so much weight. She
even confessed that at this rate she
would have preferred to die but she
survived that too. These statistics and
this entire experience led me to
believe that someone up there truly
loves this lady. The operation left a
vertical scar on her chest. A really
unflattering mark.
Fast forward to a couple of weeks back
she came visiting at my house. When it
was time to go to work she ran out of
the room in a huff. She couldn't find her
necklace and she was in utter panic.
Rumour had it that one of my sons was
playing with it the night before. I
honestly couldn't understand what the
fuss was about. I wasn't even aware she
was that into jewelry. I told her she
looks perfect without it. She didn't
believe me and predicted a very long
day without her neck piece. Why? I
needed to understand. It so happens
that she wanted to hide her scar. Every
day since the operation, and it has been
about 4 years now, she has hidden her
scar with some sort of accessory.
I was surprised, shocked even, that I
didn't know she felt this way about this
scar and that I never noticed her hiding
it all this time.
My friend is quite out spoken, very
much into politics. At some point she
was instrumental in starting an
opposition party that left the ruling
party shaking in its boots. She is
basically larger than life. The fact that
she felt so uncomfortable about this
scar just made no sense to. I would
have expected her to flaunt it rather,
knowing her. She felt differently. She
didn't want to have to explain what
happened to her. I left it at that. She
clearly didn't see herself the way I
saw her.I hope one day she will see
this scar for what it truly is, a badge
of honour. A symbol of what she
went through and survived. She is
now in the communications
department in the South African
presidency where she belongs. With
the greats. I honestly cannot think of
anyone else in my life who deserves
to wear that scar proudly.
Women all over the world wear
different badges, some from bringing
life to earth through C-section, some
through abuse and some through
different life experiences. We should
never look at these as scars but as
marks that remind us of our journeys
in life! Journeys that have made us to
be the strong women we are today.
Wear your badge with pride woman!