1. Intro:
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBy9VDEWKOE]
Taylor: Good evening and welcome to WYK TV where
you’ll hear what your kids are really up to when
you’re not around.
Matt: That’s right, Taylor. And tonight we have
some very important topics to cover so turn up
your volume, and you might want to sit down for
this…
Satan Worshipers Walking Among Us
[background photo1]
Matt: Parents of America, you’d better be paying
close attention to what your children are
listening to. A new form of rock music called
“heavy metal” is sweeping the nation and taking
your kids with it.
Taylor: These so called “musicians” are nothing
more than recruiters for Satan’s Army. They are
usually seen wearing black clothes and leather
jackets. Most of them have long, greasy hair and
are covered with tattoos and piercings.
Matt: But their appearance is not the most
frightening part. These devil worshippers want
nothing more than to introduce your innocent
child to the world of sex and drugs. Every 4 out

2. of 5 high school dropouts admit to listening to
heavy metal.
Taylor: Heavy metal music has also been directly
linked to violent behavior. Whenever these kids
are exposed to the loud guitars and obscene
lyrics, they can fly into an uncontrollable rage
at any moment. This is all part of the master
plan of these Satanists to eliminate our youth.
Matt: But don’t just take our word for it,
listen for yourself. The following video will
help expose the dark messages that these heavy
metal musicians are sending directly to your
kids.
PLAY VIDEO (26m 43s in)
https://youtu.be/oKzae5Vl20E?t=26m43s
Matt: Please reach out to your children before
it is too late. If you catch your child getting
into heavy metal, we hope you do the right thing
and beat some sense into them.
[Background photo 2]
Taylor: Moving on to another pressing issue.
Ouija boards: harmless toys, or gateways to
hell?

3. Matt: These simple boards can be purchased at
most department stores. They seem innocent
enough, you just move a planchette across a
wooden board with an alphabet. But do you know
what is really going on?
Taylor: These ouija boards allow the user to
communicate directly with the dead. Sometimes,
evil spirits can get through and there have been
reported cases of possession.
Matt: Don’t let this innocent toy fool you. Make
sure your children do not have access to one. If
they do, set the board on fire and beat some
sense into them.
Matt: Stay tuned and we’ll be back right after
these messages…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8fkjTjM-lE
start at 38s-2:37
The Short Shorts Epidemic
Taylor: The new television show “Dukes of
Hazzard” has not only inspired outward rebellion
from the males of the community, but has also
induced the women to throw modesty to the wind
and forget all of their home-grown morals.
[insert daisy duke in upper corner]

4. Matt: Daisy Duke, cousin of the Duke brothers,
was seen on the show wearing what I can only
describe as essentially nothing more than denim
undergarments, that is… knockers… as in panties
ladies and gentlemen. Take a look at this clip
to see the seriousness of this predicament.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ToEHObxHqI4 in
at 13s play for 1 minute]
Taylor: Good Heavens! This immoral fashion has
quickly spread nationwide
[insert pics of teen girls]
Taylor: but unfortunately it doesn’t stop with
these girls, Matt.
[Insert pics of males]
Taylor: Males and young children have also
adopted these short shorts, now nicknamed Daisy
Dukes.
Matt: Parents, the outcome of this treacherous
epidemic is in your hands! Allowing your
children to wear such promiscuous clothing will
most certainly lead to drug use, sexual acts,
paranoia, hallucinations, weight gain, and
ultimately death.
Taylor: Stop the epidemic. Cure the effects of
this disease now! Take action immediately!

5. Matt: Call 1-800-Avoid-The-Daisy-Duke-Plague now
to learn what you can do to prevent your
family’s death.
Taylor: Don’t touch that remote! We’ll be back
right after this…
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8fkjTjM-lE
start at 5:16 end at 7:52]
THE DEVIL’S LETTUCE
Taylor: Matt, do you SMELL that?!
Taylor: It’s no secret these young kids have a
funky smell to them, but that’s not adolescence
you’re smelling folks!
Matt: Do you keep getting wiffs of skunk pee
when you kiss your children goodnight? Does your
little Johnny have especially red eyes? Has
Suzie gained a hefty appetite?
TAYLOR: Have you noticed your children laughing
more? Asking for two helpings at dinner? Closing
their bedroom doors?
MATT: You may have fallen victim to… you ladies
and gents at home might want to sit down… you

6. have fallen victim to Marijuana. Otherwise known
as the Devil’s lettuce.
BOTH REPORTERS ACT IN SHOCK/DESPAIR
MATT: No need to fret!! WYK TV is here to help
our fellow straight-headed guys and gals! We
have a few tips to help you parents at home who
are worried your children are at risk.
TAYLOR: If you’ve started to notice a change in
your child’s behavior, it’s time to intervene.
The sooner the better.
TAYLOR: The Devil’s lettuce is the most
addictive substance hazing up our youth today.
There are many forms it can be found in.
MATT: Our team was able to provide our viewers
with a few images of what parents may find while
they go searching.
- Video clip
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2sIhaXUrmw&
list=PLQKzxsFppVEvey7U01CUmuJD1gnTXh4BZ&inde
x=10
TAYLOR: Your child most likely hides their dope
in a discrete place that will mask the wretched
odor. Look in places like the back of the toilet
or the toy chest.

7. TAYLOR: There are many ways to treat Marijuana
addiction; including electro-shock therapy,
lobotomy or some recent findings have shown that
a raw meat diet has been the most promising.
MATT: Actually, I have had first-hand experience
with the raw meat diet. My neighbor’s daughter
fell victim last month. So far her appetite has
completely subsided and she’s lost all of the
weight she gained from the munchies!
TAYLOR: There have been cases reported with
outcomes as serious as death from Marijuana
consumption. Just last week a young reefer
smoker caused a major accident on Main Street
for stopping at a green light! They’re a threat
to society! Here is a short clip to give you
more information on how this newfangled drug is
affecting our society…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkB1Yi5OSYA fade
out at 1:18.
MATT: The kids have come to associate a time
with doping up. It’s 4:20pm, do you know where
your kids are?

8. Dancing Devils
Taylor: Our final story for you folks’ tonight
is about one of the trickiest new fads. What I
am talking about is dancing.
Matt: That’s right, Taylor. Dancing isn’t what
it used to be. It is no longer respectful and
elegant, but rather suggestive and, in my
opinion, totally inappropriate for our young
children today.
Taylor: I agree with you, Matt. Take a look at
this video and see if you don’t agree too…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aenJ5V43Xvk play
at 11s fade at 1:24
React to video
Taylor: So the next time your son or daughter
tells you they are going out dancing for the
night, don’t be so eager to let them go. Make
sure you know what your child is up to!
Wrapping Up
Matt: That’s all the news we have for you
tonight folks! Thank you for joining us this
evening on WYK-TV. Tune in next week to hear
more on the influences of today on your
adolescents. And never forget to always ask
yourself…

9. Matt & Taylor: Do you know where your kids are?
Fade out music:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUr6xKzCtdk
Credits:
Director: Ashley Orewiler
Switcher/CG: Katherine Vanderhoff
Audio/Video: Rashid Alanazi
Teleprompter: Brandon Dunlap
Producer: Katherine Vanderhoff
Talent1: Taylor Jones
Talent 2: Matthew Schmitt
Camera 1: Nick Darke
Camera 2: Regan Cranmer
Floor Manager: Larry Crawford?
Moral Support: Larry Crawford
General Go-To Guy: Larry Crawford