1. Chapter 6 Fine-Tuning the Swing
Analyzing the Swing
Naked Eye vs. Captured Images
Focus on the First
Vantage Points
Stance
Negative Move
Positive Move
Toe Touch and Ready Position
Live and Independent Hands
First Move
Heel Plant
Rotation
Connection
Bat Lag
Release
Contact
Extension
Finish
Timing
Bat Path
Improving Timing
Get in Synch with the Pitcher
Start Sooner and Slower, Building in Speed
Always Begin the Swing
Adjusting to Pitches
Movement along the Horizontal Plane
Movement along the Vertical Plane
Changes in Speed
XXQU: Neither of your Drill Finder special elements are in the table of contents. QUXX.
<chap>Chapter 6 Fine-tuning the Swing (5,009 words)
<text>Even hitters who have a perfect or near-perfect swing may still have trouble
connecting with the ball with regularity. The two most common problems among hitters
with good technique are having good timing and adjusting to individual pitches.
Swinging the bat with sound mechanics while also guiding it to the exact location of the
ball at a precise time is a tall order. But by following the simple rules in this chapter, a
hitter can achieve success with much more consistency.
The first step in perfecting the swing, though, is analyzing it. Being able to really see
each of the swing’s phases is vitally important, obviously, but it’s not easy. We’ll explain
why video or still images make a huge difference, the vantage points from which to view
the various phases, and the importance of starting at the beginning when correcting flaws.
XXQU: Your introduction could be improved if you listed the three main headings of the
chapter, Analyzing the swing, Improving Timing, and Adjusting to Pitches rather than
just the first. It will allow your readers to know exactly where you are going with your

2. ideas and it will give them a simplified idea of the main ideas of perfecting the swing
QUXX.
<a>Analyzing the Swing
<text>Scrutinizing a fast, complex movement that involves the entire body is hard.
Noticing small or large flaws and determining where in the motion the breakdown
occurred is harder still. Studying the concepts in Chapters 4 and 5, using video or digital
technology, tackling the first flaw first, and observing from the proper vantage point all
will improve the accuracy of the analysis and the success of the hitter.
<b>Naked Eye vs. Captured Images
<text>The two most common ways to analyze a hitter are to watch her with the naked
eye and to capture her movements using a video recorder or digital camera. Of the two,
capturing images is unquestionably the most beneficial method, and shooting video of a
hitter provides much more information than still images.
The biggest problem with analyzing the swing with the naked eye is that it’s virtually
impossible to detect the finer points of the second phase—the swing itself—in real time.
Seeing the problem may be possible with years of experience, but usually by the time the
problem is revealed the cause has long since passed or happened too quickly to notice
when it first occurred. The only option without captured images is to form a guess, be it
educated or a stab in the dark, at the cause and then prescribe a drill to correct that cause.
If the guess is incorrect and the hitter doesn’t improve, they move on to another possible
cause and drill combination. With each swing or set of swings, the observer may detect
several different problems. The process becomes exponentially inefficient and
ineffective, wasting valuable time, confusing the hitter, and not necessarily correcting the
problem.
For example, it may be obvious that the hitter rolls her wrists at release or contact instead
of waiting until the finish.
Even if a coach can correctly identify the flaw and when it originated without the use of
video, the hitter doesn’t have the advantage of seeing what she does correctly and
incorrectly. Video and still images use pictures to communicate instead of words, the
latter of which are misinterpreted far more often. They also allow the observer and hitter
both to see the technique in real time and in slow motion.
XXQU: The following two paragraphs are two parts of the three main points under
Analyzing the swing. Consider shortening the above section just slightly or organizing it
into two paragraphs so it consistently matches the others QUXX.
<b>Focus on the First
<text>As with most physical tasks, the effect of an inaccurate movement in the
preparatory or execution phase of the swing often manifests in one or more ways
throughout the remainder of the swing. Correcting a flaw at rotation that started during
the positive move won’t improve a hitter’s technique or success rate. Start with the stride

3. and look for the first principle that is missing or incorrectly executed. That flaw usually
will show up in other parts of the swing.
Similarly, focus on one mistake at a time, starting with the first one. If a player has her
weight behind her back knee at negative move, her hands behind her back elbow at
positive move, and unequal bend in the knees at toe touch, correct her weight distribution
at negative move first. Arriving at positive move in the correct position just might solve
her other problems. Even if it doesn’t, she is in the proper position from which to correct
the subsequent mistake.
<b>Vantage Points
<text>Often, detecting a flaw depends in large part on the position from which the hitter
is observed. The four primary positions for watching a hitter are the front view, or the
view of the hitter’s chest from directly across the plate; the back view, or the view of the
hitter’s back from directly behind her; the target view, or the view of the field from the
hitter’s perspective, and the pitcher’s view, or the view of the batter from the circle.
PHOTO 6.11-14 are shot from each vantage point.
The greatest number of principles of the swing can be seen from the front view.
However, studying certain aspects of a hitter’s technique from the back, target, and
pitcher’s view is more helpful. Following are the optimal and secondary positions from
which to view the major aspects of each position of the swing. [AUTHORS: Please add
to and cross out liberally if necessary, and indicate which is the primary position from
which to view each concept.] XXQU: Think about maybe organizing these paragraphs
more simply, by just pointing out the secondary and primary positions for each stance
rather than listing out the specific things you see from each view. If anything, at least
label which view is secondary and primary and exclude the descriptions of the other
views. These subheadings for view are very long QUXX.
<c>Stance
<text> Front view—balance; feet, knees, and head forming triangle; position in box;
hips and shoulders square to the plate
 Back view—balance; feet, knees, and head triangle; position in box
 Target view—distance from plate; open/closed/square foot placement
 Pitcher’s view—distance from plate; open/closed/square foot placement
<c>Negative Move
<text> Front view—weight shift and distribution (head between knees not over back
knee, weight inside, not outside, back foot); tall back side with shoulder, hip, and foot
stacked; forward posture; controlled center of gravity
 Back view—weight shift and distribution (head between knees not over back knee,
weight inside, not outside, back foot); tall back side with shoulder, hip, and foot stacked;
forward posture; controlled center of gravity
<c>Positive Move

4. <text> Front view—stride and weight shift; forward posture; hand position; measuring
linear movement; separation beginning
 Back view—stride and weight shift; separation beginning
<c>Toe Touch and Ready Position
<text> Front view—stride foot angle; knee bend; weight distribution, square hips;
posture; shoulder slope and angle; hands and bat in strong position; head level and above
belly button; separation
 Back view—stride foot angle; knee bend; weight distribution, square hips; posture;
shoulder slope and angle; hands and bat in strong position; head level and above belly
button; separation
 Target view—hands inside back elbow, bend in waist
 Pitcher’s view—hands inside back elbow, bend in waist
<c>Live and Independent Hands
<text> Front view—movement in hands
XXQU: The section in the table of contents, “First Move” is supposed to be here QUXX.
<c>Heel Plant
<text> Front view—reestablishment of base; firm front side; stopping forward
movement; backward posture
 Back view—reestablishment of base, firm front side, stopping forward movement,
backward posture
<c>Rotation
<text> Front view—elbow closing the gap; majority of weight on front side; knee
pinching in; pivoting on front hip; straightening of front leg
 Back view—elbow closing the gap; majority of weight on front side; knee pinching in;
pivoting on front hip; straightening of front leg
 Target view—back heel turning up or moving forward
<c>Connection
<text> Front view—hands and back elbow lining up with seam of pants
<c>Bat Lag
XXQU: The text of this section is missing. From what view can we easily see bat lag?
QUXX.
<c>Release
<text> Front view—shoulder above the lead elbow; lead elbow above the hands and
hands above the barrel head of the bat; bat on plane of ball about to cross the plate; hands
in palm-up/palm-down position; bat only a few inches from elbow; angle of bat
increasing to 90-110° to forearms at release; wrists holding angular forces then simply
releasing them; top hand relaxing or letting go; hips rotating rather than moving forward;
plane of the bat through the strike zone
 Pitcher’s view—plane of the bat through the strike zone

5. <c>Contact
<text> Front view—head and eyes focused on ball, shoulders sloped; space between
slightly bent elbows; hands in palm-up/palm-down position; knocking knuckles lined up;
wrists flat (straight); shoulder above the lead elbow, lead elbow above the hands, and
hands above the barrel head of the bat; stacking on back side of shoulder over hip and hip
over knee; hips rotating rather than moving forward; contact in front of body; back toes
dragging
 Back view—shoulders sloped
 Target view—stacking on back side of shoulder over hip and hip over knee; angle of
bat increasing as it nears contact
 Pitcher’s view—head and eyes focused on ball, eyebrows parallel to bat
<c>Extension
<text> Front view—arms fully straightened; bat pointed toward field
 Back view—arms fully straightened; bat pointed toward field
 Pitcher’s view—bat pointed toward field
<c>Finish
<text> Front view—location of finish
 Back view—location of finish
 Target view—location of finish
<c>Timing
<text> Front view—preparatory phase begins when pitcher begins the backward phase
of her arm circle, and then that positive move begins when pitcher’s arm circle starts to
come forward
<c>Bat Path
<text> Front view—arc of bat path
 Target view—angles of lines showing bat path are completely reversed
 Pitcher view—bat path through strike zone
XXQU: This section of subheadings is really long. It really breaks the flow of the rest of
the sections under Analyzing the Swing. Perhaps you could reorganize the lists into four
main lists following the views (Front, Back, Target, and Pitcher)? From this point you
could list the principles of the swing under each section and say whether it is a primary or
secondary view or include the descriptions? It would create larger paragraphs that are
more uniform and don’t break up the content too much QUXX.
<a>Improving Timing
<text>One of the most common hitting questions regards proper timing. Coaches and
players alike constantly wonder when to start the swing, and for good reason. Timing
plays a huge part in a hitter’s success. If a hitter arrives at the ready position with
consistent timing, the only variable she has to compute is the speed of the pitch. If she is
inconsistent in her preparation to swing, her mind will have a much harder time
calculating the necessary adjustments to hit the pitch at the optimal moment. XXQU:

6. Maybe list the three main subheadings under this point to ground the reader with the
points you are going to make QUXX.
<b>Get in Synch with the Pitcher
<text>The concept is simple. When the pitcher’s arm begins its backward circle in the
wind-up, the hitter should begin her negative move. When the pitcher’s arm reaches its
apex above her head and begins to circle forward, the hitter should begin her positive
move. PHOTO 6.1-2 illustrate the moments the negative move and positive move should
begin, based on the pitcher’s movements. Although the exact timing of how long each
pitcher takes to complete her negative move differs, the cue is consistent and easy to spot.
If the hitter is to key off the pitcher’s movements, then she should become as familiar as
possible with those movements so the cue is easily recognizable. Pitchers’ windups are
similar to hitters’ preparatory phases in that many of them vary somewhat in look. While
pitchers also have important principles to follow, style and personal preference come into
play. Watching pitchers warm up before a game and continuing to study their movements
during the game enables the hitter to pick up on any extra movement in the wind-up, such
as presenting the ball directly behind her before proceeding into her windmill
[AUTHORS: Did I understand this possible detail of the wind-up correctly?]XXQU: If
you are doubtful about whether this detail is correct it may be beneficial to just exclude it
QUXX., or bringing her glove and hand over her head and swinging the arm back before
going into her windmill. All of these actions affect the hitter’s timing. Even if the hitter is
quick enough to be on time with the fastball, she may not be ready to make contact in
front of the ball if she started with the pitcher.
<b>Start Sooner and Slower, Building in Speed
<text>In the past, softball coaches have taught their players to remain stationary until the
last possible moment and then rush through the preparatory phase of the swing. We now
know that approach isn’t as effective as starting sooner—when the pitcher begins her
wind-up—and slowly building in speed as the swing progresses. This concept plays a key
factor in separating the great hitters from the average hitters.
The linear phase of the swing can be relatively slow. The hitter has to trust that she has
plenty of time to get to the ready position, and that by putting her body in motion sooner,
it maintains a better sense of its center of gravity and balance. A hitter who waits and
waits to being her negative move and then hurries to catch up is especially vulnerable to
pitches at the ends of the speed spectrum. She will be late for the fastball, because she
simply expect to give the pitcher a head start and then catch up. Conversely, she will be
very early for the change-up, because the barrel of her bat will start to fire immediately at
heel plant.
Starting early allows the hitter to move through negative move, positive move, and toe
touch in a slow, controlled manner. She then can speed up when the barrel of the bat
enters the strike zone in the rotational phase of the swing. The slow-to-fast progression
gives the hitter the best opportunity to make good decisions and adjust to different speeds
and locations of the pitch later in the swing, allows her to buy time before firing her hips

7. and going into rotation in the event of a change-up, and puts her in the best position for
the club head to accelerate through the zone.
Two non-softball analogies help illustrate this principle. The speed of a softball swing
should mimic the smooth speed changes of a swing on a swing set. The swing in the park
begins its downward journey very slowly, picks up speed until it is moving the quickest
at the bottom of its arc, and then slows down again as it ascends. The speed of the softball
swing should move in the same pattern: starting slowly, gaining speed through contact,
then slowing again during extension and the finish. Similarly, the increase and decrease
in speed should be as smooth as that of conscientious driver: slow acceleration from a
stop, then more rapid speed gain, then a steady deceleration. The swing should not
resemble a hot-rodder’s wheel-squealing, rubber-burning start and stop.
<b>Always Begin the Swing
<text>A problem many hitters have in following the previous precept is waiting too long
to decide to swing. But the solution is straightforward. A hitter should make the decision
before stepping into the batter’s box that she will begin her swing on every pitch. Of
course, that doesn’t mean she should actually swing at every pitch, but automatically
starting the swing helps the hitter in two ways.
One, the mind responds faster if it has to think about only one option—stopping—than if
it has to decide between swinging and not swinging. Phrases like “Make sure it is a
strike,” “Only swing if it is a strike,” or “Make it be your pitch,” are poor advice for a
hitter, because she’s having to make a conscious decision to swing. If she waits until she
knows it’s a good pitch to in her negative move, she will be too late for the fastball. Two,
the point at which the hitter must decide to stop the swing comes later in the process than
the point at which she must start the swing and still have time to progress from slow,
controlled movements to a fast acceleration of the bat through the strike zone.
The average time it takes a hitter to swing the bat—starting slowly and building speed—
from stance to contact is 10/60th to 12/60th of a second. It takes about 3/60th to 4/60th of
a second for the hitter to have enough information to develop an informed opinion on
whether it is prudent to swing at the pitch, and about 4/60th to 5/60th of a second to
complete the positive move. If the hitter waits until she believes the pitch will be a strike,
she has lost about a third of the original time available to her and will have to rush to get
the bat in the zone before the ball leaves the zone. But if she begins to swing when the
pitcher begins her windup, she’s in proper position to hit the ball if it’s a strike and has
time to stop, or check, her swing before releasing the angle of the bat if it’s a ball. The
decision to stop may come after rotation, but the back elbow is key. The back elbow will
be the first thing that stops when the batter holds up her swing.
Rules may vary slightly at different levels of play, but in general the following visual
signs indicate to an umpire that the batter successfully checked her swing: Her wrists
have not rolled, she drew the bat back before the pitch arrived, she kept the bat behind
her center of gravity, and she did not attempt to hit, bunt, or slap the pitch. Each of these
signs are illustrated in PHOTO 6.3.

8. The point of no return will be slightly different for all hitters. How late a hitter can stop
her swing will depend on how quickly she begins her swing, when the acceleration of the
bat takes place, and her physical strength. There comes a point at which the forces have
built up beyond the hitter’s strength to stop them, but slowly increasing the speed of the
swing enables the hitter to stop the swing much later in the motion because momentum
hasn’t fully built up.
Abiding by all three of these principles gives a hitter the best opportunity for success at
the plate. But it doesn’t happen naturally. Improved timing takes constant practice, and
timing suffers more than mechanics following a layoff. The more real pitches a hitter sees
and the more she understands the elements that go into good timing, the more refined her
computer becomes at calculating when the ball will arrive at the optimal place to hit it.
<se>Drill Finder: Pitcher Warm-Up, Throw Wiffle Balls XXQU: Is this a special
element? Can it be expanded in the next draft. Having a special element in the chapter is
very important for consistency QUXX.
<a>Adjusting to Pitches
<text>We’ve learned that a hitter’s influence over the bat head’s direction after releasing
the forces stored in the angle of the bat and wrists is minimal at best because of the
combination of the speed at which the bat is traveling, the weight of the bat, and the
strength in a hitter’s wrists. Overcoming that physiological fact to have successful at-bats
puts a premium on two concepts.
We’ve covered one of them already: getting the bat on the plane of pitch early and
keeping it there as long as possible, which is hitting in a large zone. The second is
making good adjustments to each pitch. The movement of the ball, like the physical space
of the strike zone, is three-dimensional. Its path can change on a horizontal plane,
meaning to the inside and outside; it can change on a vertical plane, meaning up and
down; and its speed can change. Because the location and speed of the pitch takes some
time to determine, and because at least one of the dimensions often changes from the
point a hitter decides to swing and the point of contact, being able to make tiny
adjustments is critical to having success at the plate.
With so many variables of what the ball can do, the mind can become overwhelmed
about when and where to release the angle of the bat. The three keys XXQU: listing these
keys here would help the reader to start thinking about the points before you get to them
QUXX. to making good adjustments help both physiologically and mentally. These
concepts put the hitter in the best physical position to adjust to any pitch. But just like
stepping to the plate with the intention of swinging on every pitch whittles down the
mind’s options to one, these principles simplify the mind’s task for the same reason. Its
calculations begin from a known, consistent position.
<b>Movement along the Horizontal Plane

9. <text>The first key is to look for the inside pitch and adjust out if necessary. This is
consistent with the concept of staying inside the pitch discussed at first move. If the
hitter’s hands stay even with or inside her front elbow in those first few inches, she’s able
to hang on to the angle of the bat and stay inside the line of the pitch. If the ball is toward
the outside part of the plate, she can release the bend of her front elbow and then release
the angle of the bat with her wrists to get to the ball while still swinging in a large zone.
But if her hands cast out during the first move, there is no good way to adjust to an inside
pitch and still swing in a big zone. She will be trying to catch up with the pitch and
pulling the arms back in, swinging around the zone. It’s similar to getting a hair cut.
Stylists who cut a little off each time can adjust and cut more off, but they can’t adjust
and add more on.
Accomplished hitters have the easiest time adjusting inside and outside pitches. However,
for younger hitters it can be very difficult for three reasons. Their shorter arms and bats
make it hard to cover all 17 inches of the plate, no matter how well they release those
angles; pitchers at that level often throw pitches of similar speeds; and the height of the
pitches at that level changes less than their horizontal location. [AUTHORS: I’m
hypothesizing in the second clause of the previous sentence. Make sure this is correct.]
XXQU: Try not to guess within the text without researching. Either check if this is
correct or exclude it to be safe QUXX.
<se>Drill Finder: hammer to bat XXQU: Again, try to include this element, especially if
it goes along with the other Drill Finder above. QUXX.
<b>Movement along the Vertical Plane
<text>The second key is to prepare for a high pitch and adjust down if it is lower. That
way the hitter is not fighting gravity; it’s easier to drop the hands than raise them. The
adjustment is made possible by keeping the elbow and hands above the ball on every
swing, which allows the hitter to release the bat below the hands and hit in a big zone.
The line formed by the arms and bat will be flatter on a high pitch—with the elbows just
lower than the shoulders, the hands just lower than the elbows, and the bat head just
lower than the hands—and it will retain some of its steepness on a low pitch as shown in
PHOTO 6.4-5. The hitter’s swing will then finish lower on the high pitch and higher on
the low pitch.
This key proves wrong the traditional school of thought that a hitter must swing down on
a high pitch and up on a low pitch. The swing paths are very similar, as illustrated by the
dots outlining the bat path in PHOTO 6.6-7. The relationship between the shoulders,
elbow, wrists, and bat is the same. Only the degree of the angle differs.
It’s even possible to keep the elbows above the hands and the hands above the bat on a
rise ball. If the pitcher has a dominant rise ball that she throws often, begin in stance with
the hands a little higher. The front elbow moves forward and the hands follow, just like
any pitch. Once the hitter recognizes the rise ball, concentrate on moving both the hands
and elbow up, not just the hands.

10. --Talking about zone weaknesses and pitch weaknesses, where the hands are is a factor.
Some players hold their hands a little higher because of the rise ball. One of our
adjustments when facing a rise ball pitcher if we feel we have to get on top of that pitch
to be able to stay through it, is take hands up a little more (in the stance and prep phase).
Kids who have a flatter bat tend to hit the high pitch better than the low pitch; more
upright bat as they get to toe touch more apt to being a low ball hitter. The more
movement and anxious the hitter is, the more vulnerable to change of speeds. XXQU:
Maybe add an annotation like “note” that makes it clear that this section is an aside
QUXX.
<b>Changes in Speed
<text>The third key in making good adjustments to the pitch is to prepare for the fastest
speed the pitcher can throw and adjust to slower pitches. Remember, the preparatory
phase of the swing should be exactly the same for every pitch, arriving at toe touch and
ready position in the same amount of time with the same movements.
If a hitter with an efficiently swing does not begin her swing on time for the fastball,
there is no effective way to catch up. It would require extraordinary speed that, even if
fast enough, usually results in mechanical breakdowns. The better approach is being
ready for the fastball and adjusting to the change-up. The concept is perhaps most
apparent when applied to playing catch. Would you rather be ready for a ball that comes
at you quickly and then wait for the slower ball, or prepare for the slower ball and be
knocked over by the faster ball?
Adjusting to an off-speed pitch from a fastball can be done in three ways, but only one
allows the batter to hit the ball with the full force she has generated in the positive move.
Slowing down the swing to make contact or waiting longer to move the elbows and hands
back to the ball subtract power by reducing speed in the first case and impairing balance
in the second. PHOTO 6.8-10 illustrate the positions in which a hitter could contact the
ball early, on time, and late.
But simply swinging in a big zone isn’t enough to hit good change-ups. Swinging in a big
zone keeps the bat in the zone about 2/60th of a second, but the difference in a fast ball
and change-up arriving at the optimal contact point can be as much as 6/60th to 8/60th of
a second. Being in position to connect with both the fast and off-speed pitches is
accomplished by making adjustments at heel plant. On the fast ball, once the linear
portion of the swing is completed and the hitter gets to heel plant, she immediately moves
into rotation and the elbow drops down very quickly to be ready for release. On the off-
speed pitch, though, she continues to move linearly a little longer, extending the heel
plant phase slightly by riding her weight as described at toe touch, until the off-speed
pitch gets into her zone. Once she recognizes it’s close enough, the elbow drops down,
initiating hip rotation and accelerating through the swing. She makes contact out in front,
and the club head slows down on the follow through.
The ability to hit pitches of varying speeds is one of the biggest differences between a
youth softball player and an experienced collegiate or international player. At the higher

11. levels, the battle between pitches and hitters is more about timing than pitches that move
around the vertical and horizontal planes. The best hitters are the ones who can cover a
pitcher’s fastest and slowest pitch with the same swing by hitting in a big zone. For
instance, Lisa Fernandez, the three-time Olympic gold medal winner, can cover pitches
that vary in speed by 6/60ths of a second. That’s almost a quarter of the time it takes from
the ball released to contact.
In summary, if the hitter prepares for the up and in fastball, all other adjustments are
easy.
XXQU: This final section is much longer than the previous two. As the come in a set, try
to condense this one a bit for consistency or expand the others a bit.
Comments: The details in this chapter are very comprehensive which is good. The reader
can easily visualize what they are trying to do because the descriptions are quite detailed.
An example would be your important factors in each principle of swing. Each part of the
body and position can be easily visualized. I would work the most on the consistency
throughout the chapter. The second and third main sections are well organized, with
similar sized sections and three subheadings beneath each heading. The first section is
very jarring in comparison as there are closer to 20 subheadings. I suggested that you
reorganize the final of the three subheadings, Vantage Points. I think that it can be
organized into more broad categories to avoid the use of so many under headings.
Perhaps these headings could be combined or rethought. It might also look a bit strange
to have subheadings under Vantage Points but not under Naked Eye vs. Capture Images
and Focus on the First. Think about dividing or expanding the material in order to make
the overall first section more consistent and easy for the reader to connect to the
following sections. Also make sure to add the things that are missing, such as the special
elements. These sort of sections make the chapter and cannot be excluded.
Photo Shoot Outline:
Chapter 6: Fine-Tuning the Swing
Photo 6.11-14: Four photos showing the different vantage points, one showing the player
from the front across the plate, one from behind, one looking out at the field from their
perspective, and one from the pitcher’s view at the circle.
Photo 6.1-6.2: In the first photo the pitcher is shown with her arm circling back and it is
indicated that the hitter should start her positive stance. In the second the pitchers arm is
coming down from above her head and the hitter is told to do her negative stance.
Photo 6.3: Show the signs that the hitter is correct in swing, her wrists in proper position,
the bat not forward and no premature hits.
Photo 6.4-5: The first shows the bat and arm position for a higher pitch and the second
shows that the arms are higher and the bat position for a lower pitch.
Photo 6.6-7: Show the hitter hitting both a low pitch and high pitch. Note with shading
the difference in the angles between the two positions.

12. Photo 6.8-10: Show the a batter’s contact positions when swing is early, on time, and
late.
Fiction piece
Around and Around
She was taking the corners fast now. “Oh come on,” my brother pleaded from the back seat.
“Can’t we just go home?”
But she ignored him and continued speeding down Marine Street, before making a hard
left turn at the corner, then into the alleyway, and driving on.
“You just think I’m drunk,” she yelled. She took another hard left, and still another, and
put us back on Marine Street once again, where she sped right past our apartment building.
“You two are always on my case,” she said. “I don’t know why I put up with it. I should
get my own place and leave you with your crazy dad.” XXQU: How does the narrator feel about
this? How does she feel about the whole situation? QUXX.
Again, she made a left at the corner and went as far as Ozone Park XXQU: Consider
relating this distance to something the reader will know. We don’t know where Ozone Park is
QUXX. before making another sharp left, revving her engine as she took the turn.
“I’m not drunk!” she yelled.
“I didn’t say you were,” my brother said. “I just want to go home. Can’t you understand
that? We just want to go home.”
I was scared. XXQU: Show the reader that the narrator is scared. She doesn’t need to say
it. This is pretty scary situation. What is she doing that indicates her fear. Is it a special kind of
fear? Has this kind of thing happened before? Is she prepared? QUXX. I could tell mother wasn’t
totally shitfaced, but she was definitely tipsy. Tipsy and pissed off. She seemed perfectly fine on
the freeway coming back from Hollywood. She got off at the right exit and made the turn onto
Lincoln, heading towards Venice. But after we passed the military supply shop, I sensed her
mood begin to shift, XXQU: How did the narrator “sense” this? Where there indicators of the

13. mood change? Could they be described rather than just saying that she sensed it? QUXX. and by
the time we turned right at the Kentucky Fried chicken, her horns were out.
XXQU: The above section has a lot of description of places. The reader has no way of
knowing this area or associating the distances between each of the places. A description of
distance rather than businesses might be beneficial to get the point across of how slowly (or
quickly) the mother became angry QUXX.
“There’s a parking spot right over there,” my brother said, pointing to an open space in
front of our apartment building. But she acted like she didn’t hear him and kept driving. That’s
when she started yelling, “I’m not drunk!” XXQU: Is there a way to clarify why the mother
would be set off by the brother’s comment? It is obviously powerful enough to trigger a reaction
like this in her QUXX. Finally, after ten minutes of driving in circles, she pulled over and parked.
My brother and I got out of the car and walked XXQU: How did they walk? Would they just be
normally walking inside? QUXX. towards our front gate in silence. When we got inside, we
immediately went to bed, and never mentioned the incident again. Ever.
I really like the pacing and plot in this story. It seems like the exact right length. There is tension
and the tension comes to climax before the falling action. The text doesn’t feel like it should be
any longer because it does everything it needs to within about a page. The only problem with the
plot is the lack of character development and exposition. The story is short, but the addition of
just a few words in the first paragraph could give us valuable information about the people in the
car. Where were they driving from? What time is it? The reader has little to ground them in the
very beginning of the story. Character development would be especially important for the main
character. Why should we care that this is happening? The majority of the narrative focuses on
the feelings and emotions of those around her, but a few descriptions of her behavior in this
situation could point out a lot of her character traits. Why, for example, did she not talk at all
during the situation while her brother begged for their mother to pull over? The dialogue could
also use exclamation points in certain points when the mother and brother are talking to indicate
the urgency of the situation. The narrative description was well integrated, especially with the
sharp turns. I could imagine them easily. The only point I would make is to possibly relate
distance to something that the audience can imagine rather than fictional businesses in a town
they don’t know . It will give them perspective on the gravity of the situation to know how far the
car is traveling.