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Society for Marketing Professional Services
E
very day, as a professional services marketer,
you are called upon to share your ideas, your
opinions, and your judgments. Keyboards,
touchpads, emoticons, and tweets can convey your
message. But you’re human, not machine, and you
need to be heard. Does your voice serve you well?
That can depend on your level of self-awareness.
Recently, I had lunch with members of my company’s women’s
collaborative. Woman-oriented but inclusive, representing all
organizational levels, this in-house group encourages networking
and leadership development. During our discussion, everyday
communications challenges were a recurring theme. Here’s
a recap of the questions asked and suggestions offered by
group members—from how to speak more powerfully to how
to respond to criticism and compliments, from dealing with
aggressive behavior to speaking more persuasively, any of which
may be useful to you in continuously improving your personal
communication style.
When attention is on me in a group, I get very nervous and
I don’t make a good impression when I speak. How do I
deal with this?
Focus on your breathing and use the nervous energy to your
advantage. To calm yourself, breathe in slowly to the count of
7 and exhale for the same count. Look at and talk to one person
at a time. Stick to a few talking points; don’t ad lib. Remember
this maxim: Fear is the energy you need to do your best in a
new situation.
How can I remember to be brief when I speak in front
of a group?
Crystallize your concepts beforehand and get your thoughts
in order. Craft your message so it can be understood quickly.
Imagine how you would relay the message to kids or to someone
at a crowded, loud party. Frame your points as an elevator speech.
Before you speak, tell people how much time you need so they
can prepare to give you their full attention.
I rarely speak up in a group because I’m unsure if what I
have to say is of value.
You need to contribute. This is an opportunity to become
self-aware: Perhaps the real issue isn’t that you are shy about
speaking, it might be that you are not used to being listened to.
How do I avoid saying “ummm” and “ahhh” when I speak?
When you fall back on “ummm” and “ahhh,” you are trying to
buy time to collect your thoughts. Have someone observe if you
do this after every sentence or after you finish one thought and
start to shift to a new one. Watch your breathing. Put a word or
symbol on your slides or notes as a cue. The great British politician
and orator, Winston Churchill, who was a stutterer, wrote notes
in the margins of his speeches to remind himself to pause both
for effect and for breath.
I’m being asked to make more presentations, but my voice
is low. What do I do?
Learn to project or “push” your voice. Pretend you are standing
on a theater stage trying to be heard in the top balcony. If your
voice is high pitched, learn to modulate it through breath and
posture exercises; a voice or presentation coach can help you.
So could ToastMasters; it uses a structured format for friendly
critiquing of timed talks.
If I’m at a large gathering, like a conference, and I’m waiting
to ask a question of the speaker, I become extremely anxious.
You are anticipating the group’s attention, and this triggers your
body’s fight-or-flight reaction. Truly, no one will hear your heart
hammering! Control your breathing, then stand up slowly, and
Saying Is Believing
BY KARIN DOUCETTE
communications
“Does your voice serve you well?That can
depend on your level of self-awareness.”

2. 23
Marketer/October 2012
deliberately move to the microphone. Before speaking, exhale
quietly to steady the pitch in your voice—this process takes
only seconds.
How do I respond to compliments or criticism in a group
discussion?
A colleague says that dismissing a compliment is like rejecting
a box of chocolates. Respond to a compliment with a simple
“thank you.”
Recognize that criticisms are detours, and stick to your
objectives or the topic at hand. The following responses
can keep the conversation on track:
“That’s not the focus for this discussion. Let’s talk afterwards.”
“Our facts differ. After this meeting, let’s exchange what we
both know.”
“You could be right; I’d like to hear your ideas later.”
Another recommendation is to get others involved. Full-team
interaction can diffuse negative buildup. Ask, “Does the group
want to address this now?”
How do I deal with an unexpected question in a discussion,
particularly from my client?
You can’t always be prepared. Be honest and say, “I don’t have
an answer just now, but I will get back to you by [set a time].”
If you must answer right away, buy some time by clarifying
the question then asking for a few minutes to think about it.
Honesty is respected.
How do I handle a situation where I might get emotional?
During a performance review with her manager and a peer, a
colleague shocked herself by starting to cry. She had the presence
of mind to say, “Just ignore this,” as she wiped away the tears,
and she continued to talk. They ignored the emotion, and the
issue was resolved without any loss of face.
In preparing for a situation, get the worst-case scenario out of the
way. In great detail, imagine the worst possible thing that could
happen and how you and others could react. Then, with the same
intensity, imagine the opposite occurring. Dwell on that positive
situation. Your brain can’t differentiate between actual and virtual
reality; it will lock onto the positive imagery.
How do I avoid losing my train of thought?
Know your subject matter and don’t memorize or interruptions
will derail you. Make a bulleted list and speak to one point at a
time. Give yourself a visual clue when shifting to a new thought.
If someone else is talking, use active listening techniques and
make simple notes to be ready when it is time to respond.
How do I stop myself from interrupting others?
At a client briefing, I noticed a colleague scribbling “SU” several
times as he listened. When I asked about it later, he explained he
was reminding himself to “Shut up!”
Develop the habit of writing “SU” on your notepaper.
My presentations to clients need to be persuasive, but I’m very
uncomfortable with this technique. How can I overcome this?
A presentation is just a structured conversation. What makes you
an easy conversationalist? I coached a mechanical engineer with a
shy demeanor but a compelling speaking voice. I helped him to
use his voice to better advantage. Take the characteristic that helps
you in informal interactions and “scale it up” for a presentation.
How do I deal with aggressive behavior in a group?
When a sales colleague, Alan, led a discussion with several
engineers, one of them was argumentative. Alan ignored it but
asked him later to explain why. The engineer started to cry. His
beloved pet had just died, and he hid his feelings behind aggression.
I find that bullies are usually insecure people. Calmly challenge
the person by asking, “What is the real issue here?”
I’m nervous about giving someone criticism, but it’s necessary.
How do I do this?
An engineering colleague explained to a junior staffer how his
choices on a project had sidetracked the team. The young engineer
felt that he had been misunderstood and his actions were justified.
When the feedback was framed as a learning opportunity, not as a
performance critique, the young engineer really “heard” and then
accepted the comments. Present your criticism in the right context
and keep your emotions in check.
Your voice is unique. Your vocal tone and pitch, body language,
physical gestures, and vocabulary all reflect the self-awareness
that springs from insight and practice. So, exploit opportunities to
gain insight from everyday situations. Equipped with this insight,
you can train yourself in new habits. After all, although you can’t
always control how your message is received, when you have
something to say, you can ensure that you are heard.
About the Author
Karin Doucette is based in Melbourne, Australia,
with Jacobs’ Asia Pacific Regional sales team.
Jacobs is one of the world’s largest and most
diverse providers of technical, professional, and
construction services. Karin can be reached at
karin.doucette@jacobs.com.When Marketer last
heard from Karin, she was writing on cultural
differences in language from Jacobs’ office in
The Netherlands.