This document provides information about a workshop titled "Ouch! That Stereotype Hurts: Communicating Respectfully in a Diverse World". The workshop is designed to teach participants effective techniques for speaking up when faced with biased or discriminatory comments. It involves role-playing scenarios where one person makes a prejudiced remark and another responds. Participants also learn a six-step model for apologizing when a hurtful statement has been made. The document outlines the objectives, materials, procedures and discussion tips for facilitating the workshop activities.

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Ouch! That Stereotype Hurts:
Communicating Respectfully in a Diverse World
Introduction:
Ouch! and Oops! are words that signal to the other person that something hurtful was
said. They can be taught to individuals of any age. Ouch! can be said by the person that was
hurt or a by a bystander. Then the person who said Ouch! can address the issue in a number of
ways, depending on what makes sense in that particular situation. The person who needs to
make an apology can say sorry (Oops!) or participate in a more lengthy discussion about what
happened and what they commit to changing in the future.
Audience: This exercise can be adapted for Restorative Justice facilitators, students, teachers,
and just about anyone who wants to develop skills for addressing discrimination and modeling
respectful communication
Objectives:
- Learn and practice 12 effective techniques for speaking up in the face of demeaning
comments, stereotypes or bias
- Learn and practice the Six-Step Communication Recovery model for what to do when
things go wrong and you have your foot in your mouth
Materials:
Ouch! and Oops! poster and/or handouts
Procedures:
A) Overview: Role play the process of addressing discrimination and making an apology. A
large class will be divided into smaller groups so that they can all practice playing the
following roles:
 Speaker -- Choose a scenario (or make one up) and say the prejudiced remark.
 Responder -- Respond in a way that is likely to reduce future prejudice.
 Coach -- Provide candid feedback on the strengths and weaknesses of the response.
To get the most out of this exercise, it is important to spend as much time as possible
actually practicing, rather than simply discussing prejudice reduction, and the Coaches
should be as open as possible in their feedback. Let the conversation build for a minute or so
before the prejudiced remark is made, and let it continue for a little while after the response is

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given. Then, once the Speaker and Responder have concluded their interaction, the Coaches
should critique the response, and the roles should be rotated for another practice round with a
new Speaker and Responder. Do not worry about getting through all the scenarios or
adhering precisely to the scripted comments -- the scenarios are simply designed as
icebreakers to facilitate the exercise."
B) Facilitate the Activity
1. Announce that you would like to focus on the question of how to respond when you're
directly exposed to a prejudiced comment.
2. Explain that according to the results of research, even one statement condemning
prejudice -- made by a single college student -- can significantly strengthen the anti-
prejudice statements made by others. Conversely, studies suggest that accepting or
ignoring prejudice can have the opposite effect. Then say:
 Of course, these findings don't tell us how to respond -- only that it's important to respond
in some way. So in today's session, you'll have an opportunity to try different approaches
and get feedback from each other on the effectiveness of your response. The way we'll do
this is by breaking into small groups and role-playing scenarios in which one person
makes a prejudiced comment and another person responds to it. The person who made
the comment will also have the chance to make an apology if it seems necessary.
 See Handout - We always want to assume that people have good intentions, even when
they say something hurtful. Maintaining this perspective before naming the hurtful
statement is important so that we can approach the conflict with compassion and a calm
presence. Then, one can proceed to explaining the impact of the statement and say
“Ouch”! At that point, you can choose one or more of the 10 approaches listed to discuss
the hurtful statement with the other person. (There is a full version handout and a
simplified version for younger learners)
3. Next, distribute copies of the handout with scenarios and give students time to read the
instructions. Once they finish looking through the handout, continue:
"When you role-play a scenario, have the prejudiced speaker silently choose a comment
to spring on the responder, and make sure all the other members of the group critique the
response afterward.
The prejudiced comments don't have to come from the handout, but they should be
clearly prejudiced. And the prejudiced speaker should respond to the objection (that is, let
the exchange continue a little after the objection is voiced, just to see where things go).
By the end of the hour, every member of the group should have had at least one chance to
respond to a prejudiced comment and get feedback from the group. The people who said
the prejudiced comment can also practice saying “Oops” and proceed through the steps of
making an apology as outlined on the handout.

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4. Then divide the number of students present by 4 and have them count off by that number
to form groups of 4-5 students each. For example, a class of 30 students would count off
by 7 so that five groups have 4 members and two groups have 5 members (counting off
prevents students from simply forming groups with their friends).
5. Once students have counted off, give them one hour for role-playing, during which time
you can move from group to group and make sure students spend the time role-playing as
intended.
6. After the role-playing over, reconvene the class to discuss what was learned from the
exercise. Here are some discussion questions you might ask:
o Was it easy or difficult to object?
o Were you able to avoid conflict?
o Did you a find a way to object that didn't further entrench the prejudiced speaker?
o Would you be able to intervene in actual situations with friends, family members,
and strangers?
C) Discussion Tips
You might also point out that there is a difference between taking a logical approach and taking a
psycho-logical approach. A strictly logical approach may win a debate without changing the
speaker's attitudes. Instead of arguing, a more effective response might be to say something like:
"I'm surprised to hear you say that, because I've always thought of you as open-minded."
D) Other Suggestions
If possible, be sure to allot a full hour for role-playing. To make sure students understand how
the activity is intended to work, you might also begin with a demonstration in front of the class.
Source: Plous, S. (2000). Responding to overt displays of prejudice: A role-playing exercise. Teaching of
Psychology,27, 198-200.
Scenario 1
Speaker: A female server at a restaurant Responder: A female server
Background: She is discussing how she hates waiting on old people.
Comment: “Waiting on old people is a waste of time!
You sit there and talk to them for 15 minutes, and they leave you a 5% tip!”
Scenario 2
Speaker: A white female Responder: female friend
Background: The college student is suggesting to her friend that they go shopping at a store that
sells stylish clothes in an area of the city that has a high percentage of Black people.
Comment: “I’m not going there! I’ll get shot!”
Scenario 3
Speaker: The student’s grandmother Responder: granddaughter
Background: Driving to the grocery store through a part of town where some gay men live.

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Comment: “I can’t believe how the gays have just taken over this part of town. They ruined a
perfectly good area.”
Scenario 4
Speaker: Male co-worker Responder: female co-worker
Background: While working at an ice cream store, the co-worker commented when a heavier
customer entered the store.
Comment: “Geez! Like they need any more food, especially ice cream!”
Scenario 5:
Speaker: A middle-aged uncle Responder: A family member
Background: Comment was made during a family dinner in which the conversation turned to the
topic of gay rights.
Comment:
"All that lesbians need is a good looking man to convert them."
Roleplay credits - http://www.understandingprejudice.org/teach/activity/roleplay.htm
Other Role Play Scenarios:
Scenario 6:
Speaker: a student Responder: another student
Background: Students are from different cultural backgrounds
Comment: “You are from ____________ and everyone from ___________ amounts to no good.”
Scenario 7:
Speaker: student Responder: another student
Background: students are from warring countries
Comment: “You’re a terrorist because you are from ______________”
Scenario 8:
Speaker: student Responder: another student
Background: students have different religious backgrounds
Comment: “My dad says your religion is wrong” or “Gay is against God.”
Scenario 9:
Speaker: student Responder: another student
Background: The student is gay or has a gay family member
Comment: “That’s so gay”.
Scenario 10:
Speaker: Student Responder: another student
Background: Students have been friends on and off. It’s not clear whether the speaker is joking
or speaking with malice
Comment: “You smell bad. Fat ass. Monkey! (and/or) Yellow teeth!”

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Ouch! That Stereotype Hurts:
Communicating Respectfully in a Diverse World
Ouch!
That statement hurt.
Oops!
Thanks for telling me. I’m sorry.
- Always assume good intentions and
explain the impact the statement
had
- Accept feedback from the person
you hurt or the person who said
“ouch”
- Say “Ouch!”
- Then chose one of the following
ways to intervene:
- Acknowledge your intentions and
the impact your words had on the
other person
- Rephrase what they said - Apologize
- Ask a Question about what they
said
- Ask questions for clarification of
the problem
- Repeat what they said and ask
questions
- Explain how you will adjust/change
your behavior in the future
- Intervene immediately and redirect
everyone’s attention to something
else. Follow-up later.
- Move forward with life
- Appeal to Empathy – “How would
you feel if……?”
- Name the hurtful statement for
what it is (stereotype or bullying)
- State exceptions to their statement
- Make it Individual (It may be true
of one person, but not everyone)
- Connect observations with
universal human behavior
- Use “I” statements
Adapted from Walk the Talk at Walkthetalk.com

6. 4140 Tejon Street Denver, CO 80221 ph:303-433-4983 www.conflictcenter.org
Ouch! That Stereotype Hurts:
Communicating Respectfully in a Diverse World
Ouch!
That statement hurt.
Oops!
Thanks for telling me. I’m sorry.
- Always assume the person has
good intentions and explain the
impact the statement had
- Accept feedback from the person
you hurt or the person who said
“ouch”
- Say “Ouch!” then try one of the
following ways to talk about it:
- Acknowledge your intentions and
the impact your words had on the
other person
- What do you mean when you say
_________?
- “How would you feel if someone
said that to you?”
- That’s a stereotype, but it’s not
true of everyone in that group.
- Everyone _________ sometimes. (fill
in the blank with the statement
that the person made)
- I feel angry and scared when you
make comments like that.
- If someone is purposefully using
emotional or verbal violence,
intervene immediately and
redirect everyone’s attention to
something else. Follow-up with
an adult later.
- Apologize
- Ask questions for clarification of
the problem
- Explain how you will
adjust/change your behavior in
the future
- Move forward with life
Walkthetalk.com
Courtesy of The Conflict Center