Stakeholders are unhappy, customers are frustrated and the team is SICK of estimating (WTF do these numbers mean anyway?). If we don't confront the limitations of agile, the whole thing will break. In this presentation I want to share some of the insights our company has discovered to adapt agile to the realities of personalities, organizations and the universe at large.

1. Jared Novack @jarednova
“Fuckthisfucking
AgileBullshit”

2. Jared Novack @jarednova
Role Play Time!

3. WARNING: This is going
to seem ridiculous

7. “Greatchoice!”

8. AGILE
ARCHITECTS

9. Jared Novack @jarednova
“As a museum visitor I want to
see art so I can appreciate it.”

11. Jared Novack @jarednova

12. Jared Novack @jarednova

13. Jared Novack @jarednova
Where’s the gift shop?
Where’s the cafe?
Where’s the rest of my art?

14. UserStorySolved!

15. Jared Novack @jarednova
When’s it going to be done?
What’s it going to look like?
What’s it going to cost?

16. • Never
•We’llsee
• ALOT

17. Jared Novack @jarednova
“Fuckthisfucking
AgileBullshit”
- Solomon R. Guggenheim

18. THAT’S
AGILE!

19. Wait,whoareyou?
PART I

21. Jared Novack @jarednova

22. Jared Novack @jarednova

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24. Jared Novack @jarednova

25. Jared Novack @jarednova
[School Children in
Norway]

26. Jared Novack @jarednova
[School Children in
Norway]

27. Jared Novack @jarednova

28. Jared Novack @jarednova
“Fuckthisfucking
AgileBullshit”
- My Wife

29. Backtotheworldof
Softwareandsuch…
Part II

30. Jared Novack @jarednova
[School Children in
Norway]

31. Jared Novack @jarednova

32. EMPATHIZE

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34. Expectations
Part IIV

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36. Jared Novack @jarednova
Who here likes advice
from strangers?

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PEOPLE MEETING

39. Jared Novack @jarednova
Sprint Review Grooming
Backlog
Standup
Kaizen
Retrospective
Product Owner
rum Master
Pointing
Burndown
Sprint Planning
Acceptance Criteria
Definition of Done
User Story
Velocity
Epic Estimatio
Buffer
imum Viable Product
Iteration
Planning Poker
Team Thre
mebox
For Revie
In Progress
Accepted
e Questions
Abort Sprint
nuous Integration
Road Map

40. Jared Novack @jarednova
[Pay for a Scrum Class]

41. Jared Novack @jarednova
“Uncertaintyisthe
sourceofallstress”

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Creative Concepts

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48. Execution
Part IV

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Promise What I can

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Complete the Sprint

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105150

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Don’t expose technical details
… that the PO can’t
meaningfully understand
or control

59. Jared Novack @jarednova
NO

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61. TheTeam
Part VX

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“Fuckthisfucking
AgileBullshit”
- Designers & Engineers on Our Team

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Questions?
Discussion

67. Jared Novack @jarednova
Thank you!