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Take a Leap (by Hannah Heywood)
Althoughthe onlydarknesshe couldsee now wasthatof the dimorange skybefore himandhisfast-
approaching death, he could still recall, with accuracy, that other darkness that had shaded her
familiar green irises and discoloured her once-blushing cheeks. He had known all along of course;
the thingsthat they did. Despite the turning of blind eyes and the justifications of his earlier years
with the government, he now felt the hearty, blunt kick of shame with every glimpse at a news
headline, every drone of a radio show bulletin. Often he had pondered what would happen if the
shadows ever became light, the hidden became visible. The cruel dim city before him seemed as
miserable asthose unhappysoullessshellshe hadexaminedon the tube that morning. What would
change in that mid-30s, balding banker’s dull life if he were to find out, for example, that the
governmentcontrolledthe stockmarket,the booms,the busts,the recession?A recession for every
generation to teach them to respect their leaders. Surely it would be better for that Asian man,
surrounded by the only empty seats in the carriage, if everyone knew that the government had
created the figure of the terrorist as a scaremongering technique. All those stories about foiled
terrorist attacks. He exhaled, but only to have his own breath shoved back into his mouth by a
riotous gust. He had known that she – his new assistant – would find out eventually, but had not
thought it would happen so soon, or that she would feel so compelled to tell him about it. The
darkness of her eyes still burned in his overcrowded memory. Well, at least now they had his
replacementsorted.Withthis normal yet dire thought, a surprising grin cast across the man’s face;
itsconsequencesbeingtopresshispointednose againstthe sweatystubble living on his top lip and
to darken the grooves under those already-dead eyes.
I do not talk about a dystopian society. This is reality; and in this reality, he takes that leap off that
precipice. He couldfeel hispointed,almost-balletic foot lean its weight on the nothingness beyond
the ledge; and he was falling as the organs within him leaped and twisted to the orchestra of the
wind screaming around his ears. The same wind tore at his suit jacket and forced up the skin of his
misshapenface asif competingina tug-of-warmatchwithgravity.Gravitywaswinning. Itstruckhim
that he was actually relieved to finally be in control as he danced towards the pre-prepared crime
scene and his pre-prepared end.
With a sickening emptiness in his stomach, he remembered how he had assumed he would be
thinking of his far-off family and only his family when he was finally going through with this last
request.But,no.They had won again. Always in our minds. Controlling every move. Instead, all he
contemplatedbefore he could contemplate no more was his own starring role in the pre-prepared
headline in The Independent or The Guardian the following morning:
‘Government Stop Suspected Foreign Spy’.

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Take a Leap - Hannah Heywood

  • 1. Take a Leap (by Hannah Heywood) Althoughthe onlydarknesshe couldsee now wasthatof the dimorange skybefore himandhisfast- approaching death, he could still recall, with accuracy, that other darkness that had shaded her familiar green irises and discoloured her once-blushing cheeks. He had known all along of course; the thingsthat they did. Despite the turning of blind eyes and the justifications of his earlier years with the government, he now felt the hearty, blunt kick of shame with every glimpse at a news headline, every drone of a radio show bulletin. Often he had pondered what would happen if the shadows ever became light, the hidden became visible. The cruel dim city before him seemed as miserable asthose unhappysoullessshellshe hadexaminedon the tube that morning. What would change in that mid-30s, balding banker’s dull life if he were to find out, for example, that the governmentcontrolledthe stockmarket,the booms,the busts,the recession?A recession for every generation to teach them to respect their leaders. Surely it would be better for that Asian man, surrounded by the only empty seats in the carriage, if everyone knew that the government had created the figure of the terrorist as a scaremongering technique. All those stories about foiled terrorist attacks. He exhaled, but only to have his own breath shoved back into his mouth by a riotous gust. He had known that she – his new assistant – would find out eventually, but had not thought it would happen so soon, or that she would feel so compelled to tell him about it. The darkness of her eyes still burned in his overcrowded memory. Well, at least now they had his replacementsorted.Withthis normal yet dire thought, a surprising grin cast across the man’s face; itsconsequencesbeingtopresshispointednose againstthe sweatystubble living on his top lip and to darken the grooves under those already-dead eyes. I do not talk about a dystopian society. This is reality; and in this reality, he takes that leap off that precipice. He couldfeel hispointed,almost-balletic foot lean its weight on the nothingness beyond the ledge; and he was falling as the organs within him leaped and twisted to the orchestra of the wind screaming around his ears. The same wind tore at his suit jacket and forced up the skin of his misshapenface asif competingina tug-of-warmatchwithgravity.Gravitywaswinning. Itstruckhim that he was actually relieved to finally be in control as he danced towards the pre-prepared crime scene and his pre-prepared end. With a sickening emptiness in his stomach, he remembered how he had assumed he would be thinking of his far-off family and only his family when he was finally going through with this last request.But,no.They had won again. Always in our minds. Controlling every move. Instead, all he contemplatedbefore he could contemplate no more was his own starring role in the pre-prepared headline in The Independent or The Guardian the following morning: ‘Government Stop Suspected Foreign Spy’.