It can be difficult for fathers to get custody of their children in divorce, but they do have rights. Here's what you need to know.

2. The common perception, whether it’s right or wrong, is that wives, mothers, and women have
the upper hand when it comes to divorce and child custody. It’s possible to throw around all
manner of statistics and cite various expert opinions on the subject, but the fact of the matter
is that, when it comes to dissolution of marriage and guardianship, many men feel like they
get the short end of the metaphorical stick, and that fathers’ rights get

3. From a legal standpoint, mothers and fathers have the exact same claims,
which should give them an equal chance of being awarded primary
custody. That’s on paper. In reality, we’re all well aware that humans, which
includes judges, can make emotional decisions that may be biased in one
way or another.
If you’re a father going through a divorce or custody battle, it’s important
to know your rights and how to safeguard your interests and those of your
children.

4. As we said, legally speaking, fathers have the exact same claims as
mothers when it comes to child custody. Barring extreme circumstances,
you have the right and responsibility to be a part of your child’s life on a
regular basis and in a meaningful way. Basically, should you and your
spouse divorce, if there are minor children involved, both parties are
equally entitled to remain fixtures for their kids.

5. Just like a mother, a father has the right to request primary guardianship of
his child or children in a divorce. If he does receive custody, he also retains
the right to petition the court for appropriate child support from his former
spouse, which may be used to help provide for expenses like food,
clothing, and shelter.
If you are a father who is not granted custody, you still have the right to
see your children. This visitation will be reasonable and regular. In this
scenario, you are also entitled to spend time with your kids free from
interference by the custodial parent, better known as your former spouse.

6. Custody exchanges can be tense times, especially if you and your ex are not on the best
terms. There are ways to make these swaps easier for everyone. You can make the trade at
school, or at daycare or a babysitter’s, meet in a public place where you both may be less
inclined to make a scene, or bring a third party along for the encounter. It can even be as
simple as making sure everything is packed up and ready to go in advance to cut down the
amount of face time involved. It’s important to keep things civil in these situations, if not for
yourself, then for your kids. If you can prevent emotions from running wild, it will only benefit
them.

7. As the years pass by, there has been an increased emphasis, publicly and in the courts, on
making sure that both parents play an integral part in a child’s life after divorce or separation.
It’s important that you remain involved in the upbringing of your kids, but you may have to
take steps to ensure this happens.

8. As already stated, you are equally entitled to custody during the divorce
process. If you actively want primary child custody, you have every right to
pursue this goal. You may need to prepare and file a petition for custody,
provide information about the parents and child, and ultimately wait for
the court to decide on your request. Oregon law also requires that all such
petitions include a parenting plan.

9. When awarding custody, the court is charged with determining what is in
the best interest of the child. To establish this, the judge will examine a
number of factors. This may include your abilities as a parent, the pre-
existing relationship you have with your kids, stability, physical and
emotional health and safety, and more. If kids are old enough to have a
preference, the court may take their testimony into account, though if their
wishes are deemed as being opposed to what is best for them, they may
be ignored.

10. In short, don’t be passive. If you want child custody of your children or significant visitation
rights, you may have to take an active approach. It may be in your best interest to hire an
attorney with experience working child custody cases. A lawyer will have insight into the
process, as well as advice, both legal and practical, that may lead to an optimal outcome for
your case.

11. In some cases, it may be trickier to assert your rights as a father if you and your child’s mother
weren’t married. In Oregon, however, unmarried parents have the same rights as their legally
bound counterparts. If your paternity is established, and if your name is on the child’s birth
certificate, you will most likely be recognized as the legal father.

12. As such, just like if you were married, you and the mother have equal legal standing in the
eyes of the law. You have just as much right to pursue primary child custody as your ex,
regardless of marital status. Should you be awarded guardianship of your kids, you also have
the right to petition for child support. Similar to divorced or divorcing couples, factors like
income, ability to pay, the custody schedule, and need will all figure into the amount. If you
are not awarded custody, you may still be entitled to regular visitation and will likely be
ordered to provide child support.

13. Again, it may be in your best interest to be proactive in this regard. If you want custody, file
the appropriate paperwork and go after it. If you believe you are the best parent, this is
something you may have to prove. There may be a discovery schedule established, where the
court will look into the parenting abilities of each party and potentially talk to witnesses to get
a feel for the situation.

14. It’s possible to work out a visitation schedule with the child’s mother, or you can leave it up to
the court to decide. Either way, the judge will turn that into a custody and visitation order that
lays out who gets the kids when, child support, and the like, and by which you and your ex
must abide.

15. Being involved in your child’s life can have a huge impact. It may be
difficult to remain an influential presence after a divorce or split, but that
doesn’t make it any less important. Regardless of which spouse gets
primary child custody, it’s vital to make the most of the time you do get to
spend with your kids. Whether this winds up being almost every night, or
just a few days a month, you can continue to exert a positive influence as
they grow up.

16. Make sure to adhere to the custody agreement. If you’re ordered to pay child support, do it to
the best of your ability. Don’t let petty squabbles and hurt feelings between you and your ex
get in the way of your relationship with your kids. Lingering bitterness may prove to be a
waste of energy. Keep the best interest and well-being of your children in mind at all times.
If you’re going through a custody battle, or one looms on the horizon, it may be the smart
move to consult an attorney. If you have any questions about your situation, feel free to
contact the Portland offices of Goldberg Jones and we’ll be happy to discuss your case.

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