An older Jan writes a letter to encourage her younger self who is struggling with an eating disorder and believes her life is hopeless. The letter promises that her future will be amazing, not normal. Younger Jan will overcome her eating disorder through treatment and faith, marry a loving husband, help others through volunteer work, and achieve her dream of living in Hawaii in a beach house, finding joy and purpose in life. The letter advises younger Jan to listen to doctors, say daily affirmations, avoid basing self-worth on numbers, say positive things, and most importantly, not to give up or hurt herself.

1. A Letter To Myself
Dear Jan at 45
I am the 62 old you writing to encourage and give you the hope that you desperately need. I know
your pain. You believe incorrectly that after purging every day for 25 years and now starving
yourself that your life is hopeless - I know what you are praying for – A normal life - Not that you
know what that is but you would sure like to have it. I am here to tell you that your life ahead will
not be normal. It will be so much better than that. It will be amazing.
You are strong – you just haven’t realized that yet - I know the women you will become because I
am her. You will work hard with the tools you learned at Remuda but you will fall sometimes. Don’t
beat yourself up - Keep on trying – never giving up. As you practice the tools you learned at
Remuda and trust the Lord and ask for his help you will make it. Little by little eating disorders
will be a thing of the past. I promise you that the Lord will take away all your eating disorder
thoughts and they will never be a part of you again.
You will marry a man who will love you with all his heart and call you his special angel. You are
beautiful in his eyes. You will blossom and love yourself for the women you are becoming – a
daughter of God. You will be an instrument in helping and encouraging others trapped in addictions.
You will volunteer in the jail and act as a facilitator for a 12-step addiction recovery program. As
you work the program repeatedly with the inmates you will grow stronger and stronger in your own
recovery. You will inspire these women and change many of their lives as you love and nourish
them with hope.
You will take care of your body always nourishing it with healthy food and exercise. You will weigh
what you should and never count calories or have a desire to be anything than what you already are.
Your dreams will come true. You will live in Hawaii in a little yellow beach house by the beach.
You have joy in your life as you love and serve other.
Now my dear Jan – My advice to you is to listen to your doctors and your counselors. They know
what they are doing. Don’t let your fears destroy you. Work on your recovery. It is hard but it is
worth it. Say daily affirmations – at first you won’t believe it but gradually they will become a part
of you. Don’t let the number on the scale be the basis for your self-worth. You are much more than

2. a number. Say positive things about yourself – NEVER putting yourself down. Have healthy
boundaries and most important – Do not hurt yourself. Please Jan, don’t give up now - You will do
it - I love you – Please don’t let us die.
Love,
Jan at 62
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