Six steps to better experience the care relationship with your family member with Alzheimer's disease

1. HOW TO TAKE
CARE OF YOUR
PARENTS WITH
ALZHEIMER'S
DISEASE.

2. During more than 5 years of
participating in the care of
my parents who had
neurodegenerative diseases,
I realized that family
members involved in this
care were also suffering.
Some get sick, park plans
and personal goals in order
to take care of others, which
often turns them into people
frustrated with their lives.

3. CARE WITH CALM

4. WHILE I TAKE
CARE OF YOU
WHO TAKES
CARE OF ME?
SIX STEPS TO
BETTER
EXPERIENCE
THE CARE
RELATIONSHIP
WITH OTHERS.

5. Step 1
The Diagnosis
When someone from you
family receives the
diagnosis certainly
some signs this
person was already coming
presenting.
Usually when receiving
this news, it's like
if the whole family
get sick too.
But it doesn't have to be
that way!

6. The first step is to make sure
the diagnosis is correct,
looking for a trusted family
doctor, or even listening to
more than one medical
opinion. Along with the
diagnosis, the doubt may
arise as to whether or not to
tell who is sick. The doctor
will also be able to guide you
in this regard, protect
yourself if possible, sharing
all decisions with your family
members.

7. Denying the diagnosis is
common at the beginning
because the person still has
many moments of lucidity.
Attention! Don't let this delay
the start of treatment.
The worst decision is "leave it
as it is, and see how it goes."

8. Inform yourself and
understand!
Once the scare of the diagnosis is over, inform yourself about patterns of
behavior that will emerge and that tend to be repeated in patients affected by
diseases with dementia symptoms.

9. I
N
F
O
R
M
UNDERSTAND
Keep in mind that the person being cared for is not
doing this to insult you, to annoy you, or perhaps
because you have some previous unresolved issue.
Symptoms and behaviors in these cases are not
controllable, and with this understanding, you can
avoid getting upset about it.

10. Family meeting
Step 2
It's time to act

11. F
A
M
I
L
Y
M
E
E
T
I
N
G
Yes, family reunion! Often when I give this
guidance, some people don't like it, indicating that
something is not going well with this family
relationship. Unfortunately, or fortunately, there's
no way around it unless you decide to take it all on
your own, which may not be the best decision to
make.
F
A
M
I
L
Y
M
E
E
T
I
N
G

12. Call your family members and all the people
who are willing to help.
It's time to assemble a work team.
Who will take the appointments,
participate in the care relay, make the
purchases, be responsible for expenses and
accountability, etc.
Make your personal availability schedule
and encourage people to do the same in a
collaborative spirit.
With distributed tasks, no one will be
overwhelmed.

13. Because then,
without you
around,
someone will
have to assume
that
responsibility.
In this caring
relationship,
you cannot be
irreplaceable!
But if you still
tell me that you
don't have
anyone to help
you, then start
acting as if you
can miss it.

14. I stopped studying
I don't meet
friends anymore
My brothers don't
help me.
I stopped working
to take care of my
parents, lost job
opportunities.
I have no social life,
I missed trips,
parties, dates. I got
sick taking care of
the other.
Step 3
Acknowledging your pain
Where it hurts me to have to take care of someone.?

15. Choices
The pains you feel are real, you are really going through all this, but believe
me, they were choices made by you. Perhaps out of fear of having too
managing confrontations and wanting to save yourself the hassle, you don't
ask for help and choose to carry the situation alone. The third step is:
Identify your current choices and choose to be okay.

16. Fear of taking
wrong decisions, fear that
the person gets worse or dies, fear
of getting sick too and many other
fears. The fear of being criticized is
one that surrounds us and often
arises when we worry about what
others think about our decisions
about who is being cared for.
And the blame then?
Guilt for the lack of patience, for
not being able to help, for taking
away the patient's autonomy, etc,
etc, etc..
Step 4
Understand
guilt and
fears that
may arise.

17. F
E
A
R
FEAR
Unless fear saves you from imminent danger, the
other function it has is to paralyze you. We all feel
fear, and it is normal to feel fear. It can arise from
the fear that facts or situations that have already
happened to us will be repeated. Before embarking
on a fear that paralyzes you, evaluate your real role
at the moment. Don't let fear stop you. Are you
afraid? In some situations, it may be necessary to
act out of fear!

18. F
A
U
L
T
FAULT
Blaming yourself for things you didn't do doesn't
get you anywhere, it's an extra weight you carry.
Guilt can be a self-punishing "excuse" that we use
to do nothing about what needs to be done, that is,
when you feel guilty, it's like you're already feeling
punished for something you failed to do, or even for
something you don't want to do.

19. Feelings like that were sown in you at
some point.
Don't just accept them.
Ask yourself, why am I feeling this
way in this particular situation?
Guilt and fear contribute to the
construction of beliefs, which are
thought patterns that we have been
"trained" to accept as absolute
truths.

20. If we knew how many
discoveries about ourselves
our parents have to tell us,
we would be more curious
about our story.
Step 5
Be curious!

21. Behaviors and emotions that
characterize us were built at
some point in our lives and
sometimes when we were still
children.
Associating situations that we
experience in childhood can
elucidate patterns of behavior
that bother us and that we still
have, even as adults. Be curious,
ask your parents about how you
reacted to the situations
presented. Enjoy it while they
can still remember.
Don't let your story
be lost, along with
your parents'
memories.

22. Step 6
Identify how you are
Be clear how you want to be.
Who are you now and how are you facing this caregiving
relationship?
How would you like to go through this and what plans do you not
give up?
Now, along with this whole caring process, continue your journey.
Keep your goals firm and don't give up on them. Set a deadline to
meet them. Endless dreams are just dreams!

23. CONCLUSION
Information, organization, curiosity,
confrontations and decisions are part of
this process.
Take the opportunity to have a huge
personal growth living this experience,
seeing gifts and opportunities.
Always remember that there is another
very important person in this caregiving
relationship. And she is you!
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