1. carondelet.org
The Breast Center at Carondelet St. Mary’s. Be well.
HOME+LIFESunday, March 23, 2014 • PaGE E1
HOME+LIFEHOME+LIFE
Editor: Inger Sandal / 520-573-4131 / isandal@azstarnet.com
REAL ESTATE CLASSIFIED
Find out what’s happening in the Tucson-area
real estate market. Pages 13-16
WHERECOMEDY
ISCENTRAL
N
ot Burnt Out Just Unscrewed has been hanging around the Old Pueblo
for about a dozen years,making people laugh in bars and clubs.A few
years back,the improv group decided it needed a permanent home.In
late January,it opened the doors to Unscrewed Theater,where classes are held,
shows are staged,and comedy is central.See Page E5.
DISCOVER
This massage therapist’s business is helping others relax.
For her own downtime,she saddles up.See Page E4
Kicking back on horseback
A.E. ARAIZA / ARIZONA DAILY STAR
Arizona Daily Star apprentice Anthony Victor Reyes, center, uses his mobile phone to snap a selfie with the cast of Not Burned Out Just Unscrewed, a local improvisational comedy troupe.
S
he may be the most hated
blonde in America after
Gwyneth Paltrow.
Exactly why,I’m not sure,
though I would say in Paltrow’s
case it’s the green-eyed monster.
Who wouldn’t want her looks,her
lifestyle,her career?
But Barbie? She’s a not-quite-
foot-long hunk of plastic yoked
to a boyfriend whose underwear
never comes off.Who envys that?
It’s no wonder that Barbie split
with Ken in 2004,though it’s
reported they reunited in 2011.
While little girls still seem to
love Barbie — who turns 55 this
year — her detractors are legion.
The latest seem to be a couple of
consumer-advocacy groups who
have asked the Girl Scouts to end
their seven-month-long partner-
ship with Barbie.Included in that
partnership: a Barbie-themed
activity book,website and partic-
ipation patch.
So far,Barbie’s manufacturer,
Mattel,is holding firm,touting
the message that“Barbie can do
anything.”
I’ll say.Over the years,Bar-
bie has plunged into more than
a hundred careers,including
football coach,dentist,doctor,
Cuthersomeslack:Barbie
isnottheenemyhere
BonnieHenry
See BARBIE, E2
Issue Date: da/il/y

2. LIFELIFELIFESunday, March 23, 2014 • PaGE E5
Editor: Inger Sandal / 520-573-4131 / isandal@azstarnet.com
ByAnthonyVictor Reyes
FOR THE ARIZONA DAILY STAR
Terror.
That is how I feel at this exact mo-
ment.
I am about to go on stage with the im-
provisational comedy troupe Not Burnt
Out Just Unscrewed.
I am not an actor.Or a comedian.I am
a journalism student on assignment.
I grew up singing,dancing and play-
ing instruments on a stage.And I’ve sat
in on classes and attended a rehearsal at
Not Burnt Out.
But on this Saturday night,as an
audience lines up outside the theater,I
am not prepared.
I am terrified.
An hour before the show,I sit in front
of the stage,staring at my impending
doom.
The red stage lights are dimmed.
Actors and volunteers laugh in the next
room.Everyone else is excited to get
the show started.But my emotions are
haywire,my body stiff.
So many thoughts run through my
head.Will I be witty? Sound like an
idiot? Can I make it easier for the actors,
fun for the audience? Am I funny? AH-
HHHHHH!
Not Burnt Out’s creative director,
Michael Pierce, and the host of today’s
performance,Cris Candelario,are
encouraging.
“Anthony,you cannot fail,”Can-
delario says.
They tell me the schedule,remind me
what I am doing on stage.Pierce looks
right at my sweaty,petrified face.
“We will take care of you,”he says.
Rosanne Bonomo Crago,a member
of the comedy troupe,gives me a long,
calming embrace and smiles.
Crago tells me that the worst thing
that can happen on stage is that no one
laughs,and that is OK.
I take a deep breath.The terror starts
to slip away.
Before the audience filters in,we per-
form quick and easy acting games and
end the warm-up with a big group hug.
I know I am in good hands.
The show starts and the introduc-
tions are made.I am now excited.
The troupe warms up the audience
with a game.Then Candelario intro-
duces me,making sure the audience
knows this is for a story,not a career.
I walk on stage and give a nervous
grin.
The skit is“Counting Words,”in
which the audience assigns a theme and
the number of words allowed in each
sentence.It was a game I had rehearsed,
and one that revives my terror.
But it is being played with Pierce and
Crago,two people I know I can trust.I
calm down.
The theme is a TED convention.I am
assigned three words.
The stage lights brighten.
I see the faces of my family and my
girlfriend in the audience.
My stomach churns,mouth dries.My
mind goes blank.
I can’t remember what TED (Talks) is.
I open my mouth,unaware of my
words.But I count them.
Four.
I say four words.
The first time I open my mouth,and I
make a mistake.
The audience laughs.
Making a mistake never felt so good.
The audience claps when it is over.
The troupe members congratulate me.
I sit down,palms sweaty and still in
shock.
I watch the actors perform.After
experiencing it firsthand,I admire their
courage to go out and be themselves
in the name of laughter.They listen to
one another.There’s a great amount of
trust among them.They adjust to every
scene,never hesitating.
It is my turn again.
This time,it is a game called“Hesita-
tion.”A scene is set up and a performer
taps my shoulder for a word,and that
word launches the performer’s comedic
bit.
A.E. ARAIZA / ARIZONA DAILY STAR
Arizona Daily Star apprentice Anthony Victor Reyes, middle, just rolls with it as host Cris Candelario grabs the young journalist’s cellphone after it’s gone off at a decidedly inopportune
moment — during a skit — at the Unscrewed Theater, 3244 E. Speedway. Also on stage are Monica Rhodes, left, Mike Vietinghoff (aka Mike Pierce), Chris Seidman and Rosanne Crago.
MAMTA POPAT / ARIZONA DAILY STAR
Terri Carter, left, Peter Beren, Kimberly Hicks, Kenneth Leland and Michael Vietinghoff
warm up during an improv class at Not Burnt Out Just Unscrewed.
A.E. ARAIZA / ARIZONA DAILY STAR
Seidman, left, chats with fellow comic Scott Shaver as Reyes
listens in and learns in the background.
A.E. ARAIZA / ARIZONA DAILY STAR
Not Burnt Out Just Unscrewed members Rhodes, left, and Jessi-
ca Spenny “interrogate”Vietinghoff.
Ajournalisttrieshishandatcomedy
By KathleenAllen
ARIZONA DAILY STAR
It’s a Friday night at the end of January,
30 minutes before the improv group Not
Burnt Out Just Unscrewed’s first show in its
new space.
The group spent most of its dozen years
performing in local bars and clubs.But
two years ago,the members committed to
becoming a nonprofit,raising money and
opening Unscrewed Theater,their own
theater and improv comedy school.
The three months before this night,the
members invested their sweat and passion
to pull down and put up walls in the space in
an East Speedway strip mall.They created
classrooms,the stage area and a lobby.
This night is the culmination of a lot of
work,frustrations and excitement.
The theater is empty,though a full audi-
UnscrewedTheater
nailsdownahome
NOT BURNT OUT JUST
UNSCREWED BY THE NUMBERS
$35,000
amount raised for the
theater.
4,100
square feet in the new
theater, which includes
classroom and the stage.
96
seats in the theater.
12
years the company has
been performing improvi-
sational comedy.
18
current members of the
troupe.
60
members of the troupe
who have come and gone
over its history.
$5
what it costs to see an
improv performance.
$20
the cost of an improv
class.
$160
cost of an 8-week session.
6
company members on
stage per performance.
THE STUDENTS’ VIEWS
New troupe members are often
pulled from the classes Not Burnt
Out Just Unscrewed offers. Right
now, the troupe is in the midst of
two beginners improv classes — one
for adults, another for teens. Next
month, another beginners session
starts, as does an intermediate
class. Classes are taught by troupe
members, and are most often led by
Executive Director Mike Vietinghoff.
Students learn the principles
of improv, then stand in front of
the class and do skits based on
suggestions from other students.
And not everyone who takes a
class plans a career on stage.
Here’s what a few students midway
through an eight-week beginning
improv class had to say:
• “I’ve spent a lot of my life saying
‘no.’... One of the things that Mike
(Vietinghoff) says over and over
is that there are no mistakes in
improv. I love that. … I’ve found I’m
more courageous and don’t worry
that what I’m saying is the exact
right thing.”— Terri Carter, 59,
retired, on the shy side, taking the
class for her enjoyment.
• “I’ve been terrified of public
speaking. … (Now) I’m not afraid
to make a fool of myself.When
you apply the lessons you learn
in class interesting things come
out. One of those things is to say
‘yes, and,’instead of‘yes, but …’;
‘Yes but’is really a no. … Another
guideline is to make your partner
look good.That’s not just a rule
for improv.”— Dr. Robert Beren,
62, who is taking the class with his
brother. Both are linear thinkers,
he says, and they have found the
class has stretched them.And
made them laugh.
• “There’s something about being
on stage; it just takes over. Even
with comedy, I get up there and
I’m in a whole different world.
It’s almost my sanctuary.At first
(improv) was a little difficult — just
to have to think quickly, or become
a character and be in a situation
you don’t know about. But it’s
also fun.”Cami Anderson, 28, a
waitress who has done stand-up
comedy as a hobby for about two
years. She’s hoping to eventually
join the Not Burnt Out company.
See TERRIFIED, E6
See UNSCREWED, E6
IF YOU GO
• What: Not Burnt Out Just Unscrewed
improv theater.
• When: 7:30 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays.
• Where: Unscrewed Theater, 3244 E. Speed-
way (entrance at the back of the strip mall).
• Cost: $5.
• Information: 861-2986 or
unscrewedtheater.org
Classes
7 p.m.Wednesdays at the theater. Eight-week
sessions for beginning and intermediate begin
April 2. $20 per class; $160 for the series.
Issue Date: da/il/y

3. In my head I tell myself I
can do this.My confidence
is building.Then,as I am
about to give a word,my
phone’s Siri goes off.
“I am sorry,but I can’t
take any requests right
now,”says Siri.
My heart stops.
Candelario snatches
my phone.He looks at it,
pretends to scroll through
its menu and makes a good
joke of it all.
The audience laughs.
I laugh.
The game goes much
more smoothly compared
with the first.I am calmer.I
have fun.The fear is gone.
I merge back into the
audience,waiting for one
more call to the stage.
I continue to watch the
show.I admire the ac-
tors and their technique.
Christopher Seidman’s
unique sense of tone and
volume provokes the
audience.Jessica Spenny
uses a serious monotone
style as an effective comedy
tool.Monica Rhodes’ body
language conveys her inner
dialogue.Scott Shaver has
spot-on timing and a quick
wit.They all inspire me to
have courage on stage.
It’s time for my finale,
the game“Armando.”The
audience assigns a random
topic and I have to come
up with a personal anec-
dote incorporating it,upon
which the actors then must
add comedic riffs.
The topic: mythology.
I take a big breath.I
remember the advice from
rehearsal: Don’t try to be
funny.Be truthful.
I begin with an anecdote
about my parents’love
of travel and their trip to
Greece,and the gifts they
brought home to me and my
siblings.
I watch the actors as
they create stories from
my stories,infusing each
with humor.I do two more
monologues inspired by
their skits,and the actors
respond once again.
Theirskitstouchon
siblingrivalry,theperksof
havingovercaringparents,
beingaCatholicduringLent,
andthefunnysideofhaving
avegetariangirlfriend.And
theyallhithome.
Back in my seat,I realize
I had just gone through
a form of therapy.I had
somehow left all my worries
and stresses on stage.I was
able to laugh at myself.
It awakened something
in me.
By curtain,my adrena-
line is going.I am pumped.
This isn’t as terrifying as
I thought.
Hey,I can do this.Maybe
journalism isn’t my calling,
after all.
AnthonyVictor Reyes is an Univer-
sity ofArizona journalism student
apprenticing at the Star.
TERRIFIED
Continued from Page E5
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E6 • HOME + LIFE Sunday, March 23, 2014 / Arizona Daily Star
ence will start filtering in
soon.
The night’s performers
are gathered in a circle on
the stage.They laugh and
quietly pump one another
up with stories and jokes
that calm one another’s
nerves.
The troupe’s executive
director,Michael Vieting-
hoff — his stage name is
Mike Pierce — begins to
speak.
“No one knows or cares
what we went through; they
just want to laugh,”he tells
the performers.
“Let’s enjoy tonight,put
all the craziness behind us.
This is a dream come true.
Have fun and support one
another.I love you guys —
you are awesome.”
With that,a cheer goes
up,the actors scurry off
stage,and the audience for
the family-friendly show
streams in.
For the next 90 minutes
or so,a frenzy full of laugh-
ter,silliness and fun ensues.
Vietinghoff,who has been
with the company almost
since the beginning,is the
master of ceremonies on
this night,and he calls out
for audience suggestions.
“A favorite drink,”he
throws out to the audience.
“The blood of my en-
emy,”a child’s voice says
hopefully.
The quick-thinking
members of the troupe con-
coct skits around sugges-
tions with the sole purpose
of making the audience
laugh.And that’s exactly
what the audience does.
Laughter is“my drug
of choice,my passion,”
Vietinghoff says during an
interview a month after
opening.
“Making people laugh is
just the best thing on the
planet.”
UNSCREWED
Continued from Page E5
Improv lessons as taught by Not Burnt Out:
• In improv, the answer is
always right.
• Make eye contact — that’s
key to working a scene with
anyone.
• Make your partner look
good — it’s the only rule in
improv.
• Ground the scene in reality.
• Bring truth into comedy and
the funny happens.
• In improv, every person is a
supporting character.
• Improv is simply a lesson in
hyperlistening.
THE NEWYORK TIMES
CROSSWORD
By Jeremy Newton • Edited by Will Shortz
Today: It’s better this way
Solution on Page E2
ACROSS
1 So over
7 Touching words?
14 Gently floats
19 “Seinfeld”cohort
20 1965 R&B #1 song with the
repeated lyric“Can’t you
see that I’m lonely?”
22 “Too rich for me”
23 *He bested Leonidas at
Thermopylae
25 Nick of“Lorenzo’s Oil”
26 Medicinal qty.
27 Dashed ID
28 Monitor setting, for short
29 Balloon
31 *Off-roader, often
35 What an iPod plays in
36 Stuff in sacks
39 Flying fisher
40 Roughhousing
41 Jokester
44 Glassfuls in restaurantes
45 Country buggy
47 Places for studs
48 Air
49 *Annual draw for snocross
fans
52 Union leader?
53 Close up
54 Like Advil or Aleve: Abbr.
55 “That may be true, but …”
57 It’s low for gas guzzlers:
Abbr.
60 Home to King Harald V
62 “___ good cheer!”
64 Doesn’t bring up
65 *Iconic feature of comedy
69 Line at the Louvre
70 Bomb shelter?
71 Sub side, maybe
72 D.D.E. challenger
73 “Revenge R Us”author
75 Suffix with peace
76 Bent beam
78 Biting remark?
79 *Founder of Marvel’s
School for GiftedYoungsters
87 Of two minds
88 TALK LIKE THIS!
89 Teen headache
90 Got back to, in a way
91 Prefix with cycle
92 Give one’s O.K.
93 Google datum
94 Robed performer
95 “Nothing seems to go
my way”
97 *Frequent problem faced
by algebra students
100 Pump up
102 Chichi getaway
103 A street drug, briefly
104 Rural call
107 Stoop
108 *Horror flick starring
Humphrey Bogart as a
mad scientist, with“The”
114 Something LOL-worthy
115 Water, wryly
116 Canadian coin named for
a bird
117 “The ___ Project”(Fox
comedy)
118 In hot water?
119 Thrive
DOWN
1 Somethingdirtykeptinacell?
2 ___ de la Société
3 Complain, complain,
complain
4 “Kid-tested”breakfast
cereal
5 50/50
6 “Admit it!”
7 J.Lo’s birthplace
8 Shot caller
9 Danger for Indiana Jones
10 Spring river breakup
11 Siren, say
12 Not so great
13 Member of the music
industry’s former Big Four
14 Part of a Napa Valley tour
15 Whack-___
16 With 58-Down, a patient
process? … or a hint to
two consecutive letters in
the answer to each of
the seven starred clues
17 What one might go for a
spin in?
18 Any“cha”in the cha-cha-
cha
21 How lines of latitude run
24 Mount Zion’s land: Abbr.
30 Couples
31 Scratch, say
32 Rest stop
33 “The oldest and strongest
emotion of mankind”per
H. P. Lovecraft
34 Cousin of a gazelle
35 Drink with two lizards
in its logo
36 Club
37 “Bleah!”
38 Havesecondthoughtsabout
40 “Clueless”and“Bridget
Jones’s Diary”
42 Sponsorships
43 Serengeti prey
45 Put away for safekeeping
46 Hugs and kisses, at times
47 Paint variety
48 Type-A friend from
“Friends”
50 One turning to the right
51 Lose everything
52 Certain bean
56 Hair-razing stuff?
57 Loud beast heard in
theaters
58 See 16-Down
59 Bamboozled
61 Like gathering storm
clouds
63 No-holds-barred
66 ___ and Thummim (sacred
Judaic objects)
67 “Need ___?”(query to
hitchhikers)
68 Baron’s blade
73 They’re 18 to 21
74 Things for here and now
77 More pink, perhaps
80 It can be prickly
81 Jib, e.g.
82 John Candy’s old comedy
program
83 Motor with some muscle
84 You might get stuck with
them
85 Book after Galatians: Abbr.
86 Nutritional info
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18
19 20 21 22
23 24 25
26 27 28 29 30
31 32 33 34 35
36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43
44 45 46 47 48
49 50 51 52
53 54 55 56
57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64
65 66 67 68
69 70 71 72
73 74 75 76 77
78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86
87 88 89 90
91 92 93 94
95 96 97 98 99
100 101 102 103 104 105 106
107 108 109 110 111 112 113
114 115 116
117 118 119
MEDIUM
5 3
5 9 7
4 7 3
7 5 8 9
6 3 2
3 6 9 7
1 4 9
9 6 3
2 4
SUDOKU
Complete the grid so each row,
column and 3-by-3 box (in bold
borders) contains every digit, 1
to 9, exactly once. No adding or
guessing is required, just basic
logic.The answer is unique
Solution to Puzzle #140322Solution to Puzzle #140322Solution to Puzzle #140322Solution to Puzzle #140322
5 2 1 4 6 7 8 9 3
6 7 9 5 8 3 2 4 1
8 4 3 9 2 1 5 6 7
9 6 8 2 7 5 3 1 4
4 5 2 1 3 6 9 7 8
3 1 7 8 9 4 6 5 2
7 9 5 3 4 8 1 2 6
1 8 6 7 5 2 4 3 9
2 3 4 6 1 9 7 8 5 © by Reagle & Aramanda • www.sundaycrosswords.com
88 Photogs’choices
92 It may help catch a fugitive
93 Like Brando’s Don
Corleone
94 Disappear, as a trail
96 “Good heavens!”
97 Eject, as froth
98 Retired govt. agent
99 Co. making arrangements
100 Dutch wheels
101 Member of the old Chero-
Cola product line
102 “Chop-chop!”
104 Radius, e.g.
105 Seed casing
106 Jump on ice
109 Jet crew, briefly
110 Quick time-out
111 Scream at a ring
112 Bit of love talk
113 Drag
A.E. ARAIZA / ARIZONA DAILY STAR
Host Cris Candelario solicits a response from the audience
for an upcoming skit at the Unscrewed Theater.
Issue Date: da/il/y