1. June 2015
We had just one year, one year to make better happen. For some of us, we blinked in
August and woke up in June. For perhaps the majority of us, there were times throughout
this challenging year when we couldn’t wait for June to come. And while we may have
anticipated our final days, I know that throughout this journey, we laughed until our
stomachs ached, cried rivers, smiled until our cheeks were sore, and cherished moments
like there was no tomorrow.
In August, we joined thousands of AmeriCorps Members around the country in what would
eventually feel like an uphill battle. We accepted the challenge of combating a society
where idealism is for the meek. This type of work necessitates a certain level of boldness
and belief. Throughout our journey we embodied two types of boldness. One defined as,
taking risks, being courageous, and confident. And a second defined as a boldness much like
the font; having a strong and vivid appearance.
In a society where many second guess the potential of our youth, we were bold enough to
believe that every student could succeed. We were bold enough to believe that
standardized testing doesn't paint a complete portrait of our students. We were bold
enough to say that we could raise a student’s reading/math level by 2 grades. And today on
June 17th, we are still that bold.
At City Year, we have a reflection tool known as the Idealist’s Journey. It’s based largely on
the hero’s journey, a common storyline used in literature. Each hero’s journey includes
stages. First the hero departs after their call to action, next, they experience a road of trials,
and finally, return; and I think this is a good way to capture the beautiful journey that we’ve
been on.
Departure
Our decision to come to City Year was almost as important as Lebron’s decision to leave
Cleveland, and then return. While Lebron’s decision was broadcasted on ESPN, our decision
looked more like us sitting at our dorm room desks, or bedrooms with City Year in our
right hand and a salary paying job or college in our left. But for whatever reason, we were
compelled to serve.
The journey began during our training; where we quickly learned the importance of
icebreakers in City Year culture. Some of us leaped across the country, coming from
California, Oregon, and Illinois to unite with fellow east coasters in Providence. And while
that was bold, perhaps saying your first “hello” and getting squishy was even riskier. I
2. would argue that performing physical training - known as PT - without our uniforms in the
middle of Elmwood Ave. was the most courageous act we performed during our training.
Road of Trials
We faced obstacles on our journey; some predicted, others not. The true test of the hero on
this journey is how strongly they believe in the righteousness of their cause; and being bold
enough to stare at obstacles and believe in your heart and in your mind that they will
overcome.
We encountered moral dilemmas where the torch of idealism didn’t seem bright enough,
and our civic dangers, like expediency and futility, casted a shadow over our perspective.
Moments when we were fighting time. A prime example may be when we wavered between
a student finishing their assignment because it was due the next day, or truly
understanding the material. Because at times, grades are treated as more valuable than a
student’s knowledge. In these moments, each student’s grade felt like the weight of the
world, and we found ourselves negotiating takis with students for them to complete their
homework.
In other instances, we might go to our favorite hiding spot in the building and ponder how
we would make better happen because the ills of the world clouded the potential we saw.
Moments when action was required, but the only adult we could find that would help us
solve our students’ problems were those on our team. Perhaps the toughest moments
occurred when we took one step forward, just to take three steps back. This feeling was
always reinforced when we had that one groundbreaking conversation with a student, of
course after having (had) multiple groundbreaking conversations with that same student.
But this time we began to see small indications of progress. Then suddenly, that student
was triggered and regressed. And we know that most of these triggers stem from larger
societal issues, such as racism, sexism, toxic masculinity, and capitalism. And now we’re
back to square one with this student wondering how our words can fight inequality.
The journey consisted of personal battles also; where our courage and resilience were
tested. Moments when we saw too much of ourselves in our students and fought back
tears. Moments where we found it difficult to maintain our spirit amidst the negativity and
distress that plagues our schools. Nights when we lost sleep while formulating the perfect
lesson plan because we knew that if this particular student was set up for success, they
would soar. Moments when the odds were stacked against us so much so that we
questioned our being here.
3. Now, I can only marvel at our collective abilities. What we did was bold. Not because we
facilitated our first tutoring session, but because after that session was a complete disaster,
we made the necessary adjustments and the conscious decision to try again. We are not
bold just for anxiously making our first phone call home. But because on that first phone
call, when we found out that our student’s family speaks Spanish, we used what little terms
we knew until we found our Spanish speaking teammate. But soon after, we realized that
connecting to our students and their families through language might have been the most
most important method we could use to serve our students. So, we took steps to learn their
language.
There were without a doubt moments of embarrassment. Like when our students
screamed, “what are those,” and proceeded to point with laughter at our all black footwear
that we had no say in. Or perhaps you were that corps member who was sick and ran out of
sick days, thus making everyone anxious. Or when you took personal offense after being
mistaken for an employee at Target. And you were so compelled to respond with “You
know I change lives everyday, right?”
Return
In a perfect hero’s journey, the hero returns to praise after resolving the conflict, unless the
author chooses to write a sequel. But our journey isn’t like Finding Nemo or Beowulf where
we venture off and return successfully. The reality of our situation is that our year of
service ends while our country continues to fail our students on multiple levels. Our return
consists of resolving the regrets we might have and finding internal peace. It also consists
of reflecting, and taking pride in what we were able to accomplish.
And in the silence of our reflection, we realize that we did indeed leave a legacy. We have
students who come to school for themselves, and not starbursts. We have teachers that feel
recognized and supported. And we have parents who appreciate our weekly phone calls
secure knowing that City Year is assisting their child.
So, is this the return of a typical hero? Maybe not. For us, this is a moment of closure as we
prepare for another departure. And no matter where we go, we must take a lesson on
boldness from the late and great Muhammad Ali who said, “He/she who is not courageous
enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.” From this quote I have gathered two
options:
1. We must boldly persist on our current path(s).
or
2. We must boldly leap into our new journey(s).
