Personal Development Power Hour - Living With Regret
http://www.wiggmanscoaching.com/personal-development-power-hour-living-with-regret/ June 6, 2013Personal Development Power Hour – Living With RegretWelcome to Personal Development Power Hour 05/16/2013.The long weekend is here for us in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan and as everyonefrom Saskatchewan knows it is time to head out to the “lake”. Which lake younon-Saskatchewan people ask? Doesn’t matter because no one ever says. Theyjust simply state that they are heading to the lake and leave it at that. Yep, Maylong weekend turns this lake laden province into a ghost town.With the lake comes time to sit back and reflect on your personal development.This weekend we are going to explore our regrets and then kick them to the curb.Living With Regret – No ThanksI will be upfront and let you know that the title of this post is a bit misleading.The reason I say that is because I do not want anyone to live with regret. ActuallyI am going to ask that you ensure you do not live a life full of regret. Please, don’tdo that.So many people are weighted down with regrets and they dwell on them everydayright up to their deathbed. Have you ever seen the look of regret on a dyingperson’s face? Their eyes tell the story of all the things they wish they did, couldhave done or should have tried to do.It is both a chilling and enlightening moment for those saying goodbye. Everyoneswears they won’t go out like that and yet almost all of them will. That is if theydon’t take control of their regrets today. It takes a great deal of personaldevelopment to be at peace with your past and be able to let go of your coulda,shoulda and woulda’s.Regret has no place in the life of your dreams.The Good of RegretLook, you could spend the rest of your days regretting what you did yesterday butwhere do you honestly think that would take you? To a place of more regretsthat’s where. You get what you think about most of the time so now is a greattime to reflect on where you are applying your regrets to your current life.So what good can come from regret? As much as you want. With every
experience where regret is present there is a lesson you learned. The secret tousing regret for good is what you chose to with that lesson. Did you use it to makesure you didn’t repeat the same mistake over again or just push it aside? Let’slook at some situations where good could come from regret if you chose to usewhat you learn.Do you regret the first time you hopped into bed with someone? Maybe but ittaught you to respect yourself, your body and to set some personal standards orit didn’t. You could regret losing your first time in the back of a Pinto but it doesnothing but affect future intimate relationships. it happened, you learned and nowmove on.Do you regret being married to the wrong person and the fact you had kids withthem? Do you not want those kids anymore? I doubt it. Do not look at the kids andonly see your ex. Let them move past that and only see the miracle they are. Theonly way to do that is to accept that yes the person you had them with is not theone you love anymore but without them you wouldn’t be blessed with the childrenthat love you. If you don’t shed the regret then every time you look into yourchildren’s eyes they will see the regret you have for ever being with theirmom/dad.These are just two examples of where regrets can lie. There are careers, financesand family. The important part of regrets is realizing how they can control you.Do you regret all the great things that your life experiences provided you? I hopenot because they are what helped you discover all that you wanted to be in lifeand everything you didn’t.We all make mistakes but out of those mistakes come the awesome life changingbenefits, if you want there to be.Letting GoLetting go of regret can be difficult but is a must to allow you to be free to live.You can rid yourself of regret by no longer beating yourself up over the decisionsyou made. We are our own worst critic and are harder on ourselves than anyoneelse.Part of letting go is also taking a hard look at the friendships you continue tomaintain. You were what you were in the past but you won’t be able to moveforward if you keep friends around you that like to bring it up all the time. If theycan’t allow you to move past it or they themselves are still living it, they need togo.
Don’t get me wrong, regretting something in the moment does provide you avaluable lesson but apply that lesson and then move on. Don’t dwell on what youshould have done or wished you had said and don’t let your friends do it either.Take a stand for what it is you want to become.So identify those regrets, acknowledge and then dump them on their butts.Take Action Request:So as you enjoy your long weekend sitting around a campfire or tanning at thelake just take a moment to reflect on all the great things that came out of allthose regrets and realize that without those life experiences you wouldn’t be whoyou are today. If you want to dive in deeper take each thing you regret and listwhat you have learned from it. Then ask yourself did you action what you learned?Your Life Your Choice Your DesignDarrin Wiggins“The mistakes I’ve made are dead to me. But I can’t take back thethings I never did.” – Jonathan Safran Foer
This photo of Saskatchewan is courtesy of TripAdvisor