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1. The Top Mistakes Made When Choosing An Online
Profile Photo

2. Welcome to the world of online dating. It's an exciting
concept, that just a few mouse clicks away you could
find the perfect partner. Today I want to talk about one
of the most important aspects of online dating, your
profile pictures.

3. Your picture is worth 1000 words, and 100 dates.

4. Please tell me that you didn't think you could get
through this without putting up a picture at all?

5. Now also put up your hand if you hoped you could use a
selfie from your phone or an old photo with other
people in it?

6. Tut, tut, tut.

7. Yes, you do need a photo. That is non-negotiable if you
are serious about this. Nope, not negotiating. And yes,
you will probably need to take a few photos just for your
profile. But no, they cannot be selfies.

8. Psychological studies into online dating have
demonstrated that people are cautious because of the
lack of ways to verify the information presented. That's
why everyone thinks everyone else is lying online. We
like to be able to check a person's eye movements or
body posture as they tell us things, so we can judge for
ourselves whether we think they are telling the truth.
Online, because there are far fewer cues, people read
more meaning into the ones that remain.

9. One of the easiest and most successful ways to make
people think you are honest and great is to support your
profile text with your photos. If you think of your photos
as a visual proof to your written profile, you will go a lot
further. However, you need to be careful of what else
people are reading into your photos.

10. So just to reinforce, you need photos, and you need to
know what they are saying. If you put up a photo that
you have clearly taken yourself, then it is going to be
read as saying you have no friends. Sad, but true.

11. Don't panic. While bad photos can scream a lot of
different things, just for you I've gone through the most
common mistakes that are made online, and exactly
what these types of photos say about you. Avoid them,
and you will be doing well.

12. 1. Having a Picture of Something Else

13. There are a number of people out there who include a
picture of a sunset or a dog as their primary photograph.
I can't decide if this is better or worse than not having a
photo at all. You might be trying to suggest you like good
scenery, but overall it does not come across well. Why
don't you want people to see your face? There could be
a number of reasons, but none of them are good, and
people naturally assume the worst. Yes, you might want
to show that you are a dog-lover, but this message is
much more effective if you are also in the picture.
Otherwise people think the message is that your dog is
your more attractive side.

14. 2. Pick Which Person Is Me Photo

15. Why would you do this? It seems ridiculous to me, but
I've seen it so many times it's made the list. First of all, it
shows that you haven't put any effort into creating your
profile. You couldn't even be bothered to find a photo of
just you. Second, every girl will always assume that you
are the most unattractive guy in the photo. Now, if part
of your profile message is that you have really great
mates, then you might want a photo of all of you doing
things. However, this would not be your primary photo.
And even then, there is always the risk of the girl going
'hmm... that other guy's cuter...'. So overall I don't
recommend it. If you have to, recreate the photo with
just you.

16. 3. Me and My Hot Ex

17. Having a member of the opposite sex in your photo is
not a great idea. You might think you are sending the
message 'look, other hot people think I'm worth hanging
out with', but that is not the message received,
particularly by girls. When people are looking online,
they are usually quite defensive and critical. Any photo
of a member of the same sex around the same age
(doesn't count if it is a baby or your grandma), is going
to be judged very harshly. Consequently, you will be
judged for liking such a person. Don't give people a
chance to write you off because of their insecurities.

18. 4. Making Yourself Appear Ugly On Purpose

19. Please keep in mind that it will be assumed that your
worst shot is what you actually look like most of the
time. It also seems that you are hiding behind humor
because you are insecure about your looks. This is a
killer for online attraction ratings. Confidence is what
you are going for. Funny and still amazingly attractive is
the branding you want.

20. 5. Shots of Bodies Without Heads

21. Okay so you have a great body, thanks for showing that.
But would it really have been that hard to zoom out and
show that you have a brain as well? Particularly for
women, photos of bodies with no heads are disturbing.
It also screams that you objectify your own and
everyone else's bodies. Not a great message for most
dating sites.

22. 6. Outdated Photos

23. If you had some super amazing achievement a few years
ago, such as winning gold at the Olympics, sure put in an
old photo. However, if it is just you standing around and
you are trying to pass it off as how you generally look?
This is bad. The majority of your photos need to be up to
date, with the main photo being within the last few
months. If you have a great photo from the past, why
not try to recreate it, or even improve on it?

24. 7. My Professional Glamor Shot

25. If you are a model, and have been paid to have your
photo taken, then sure, go ahead an include one of them
(this will support your self-statements). In any other
circumstance, I recommend not using professional
glamor shots in your profile. If you have paid someone
to take photos of you, this often comes across as selfindulgent. Further, they are known to be unrealistic and
touched up, so people don't trust them anyway. Even if
you love the picture, I recommend trying to recreate a
more realistic version yourself.

26. 8. Me While I'm Drunk

27. So I can see why you might have drunk photos up on
Facebook, but unless you are writing your profile while
drunk (which I really do not recommend), then why on
earth would you put it up as one of your best and
defining looks? If you think the best thing about you is
that you get drunk and then ugly, you really need to try
a new branding tactic, because that isn't going to appeal
to many people.

28. 9. Where Are You Photos

29. Profile photos should not be a game of Where's Wally.
You should be clearly visible, which means not out of
focus, out of the shot, or just a speck in the background.
You want to give as much evidence about what you
actually look like. People have seem mountains, they
haven't seen you. So unless it has a very particular and
irreplaceable purpose demonstrating your message, find
a better shot.

30. Choosing the perfect photo for your online dating profile
should not be hard, but based on the evidence available
it appears to stump a lot of men. Therefore, avoid these
mistakes, and you are already ahead of the game!

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