“Tea for the Sandwicher”
It was after 5 p.m. and I had a meeting scheduled with a
prospective client. As a full time employee, it was the only time of the day she could
meet with me. We exchanged pleasantries, I offered her a choice of tea or coffee and
waited with abated breath, hoping that she would say tea . . . I can’t make coffee to
save my life. “Tea” she said, “that should help me to relax”. Shoots, I am not as
prepared as I am normally . . . I had forgotten to put the kettle on before her arrival.
There was no point going back and forth to the meeting room while the water boiled, so
I stay in the kitchen, while my visitor was in the meeting room . . . alone. Have you
ever noticed how long water for 2 cups of tea takes to boil when you are waiting on it?
With tea ready, I was back into the meeting room. “That took a long time”, she said.
Was it really, I thought it was my imagination, now I really feel badly. She proceeded to
tell me that she can’t recall the last time she was left alone with her thoughts and how
frightening it was. She can’t recall the last time she had a chance to really exhale, the
time left alone, though scary, was like paradise.
My prospect was only in her 30s but she was one of many women commonly called the
“Sandwich Generation”. She was married, with 3 children, and was the primary
caregiver for her mother. Four months prior to our meeting, she called to check on her
mother one morning and after several unsuccessful attempts, called 911 for fear
something was wrong. Her mother was found suffering from a heart attack and had
been in the hospital since then. She was later diagnosed with brain tumor. Her mother
also had a stroke 3 years before, and it took years before she regained partial
independence.
This was the first time she was telling the story in its entirety . . . she has not had the
time to sit and think about it, much less discuss it. Needless to say, she felt like she
was drowning as she struggled to cope with her many different roles and she was now
worried that her own health was at risk.
She had come to us to find out how we could help her mother, after she was discharged
from the hospital. She had 101 questions, and had no idea what where to find the
answers. She was relieved to know that we provided free, no obligation consultation to
people who are caring for the sick or the elderly.
My heart went out to this woman, because she could have been my sister and not for a
moment could I imagine what it would be like in her shoes. The sad fact remain
however, that there is a growing number of women in this situation. I say women, not
to imply that men are not caught between caring for two generations as well, but

because it is a statistical fact that women are the primary caregivers for both children
and the elderly.
It is also a fact that women suffer from more stressed induced illnesses than men. As
an employer of mainly women who are providing care to people with mental or physical
disabilities, I often tell my staff, “There’s no point caring to death, because when you are
dead, you are no good to anyone”. To the many women who are also care providers, I
say the same “take care of your number one . . . YOU!”
Opal Rowe is the founder of Nowhere Like Home, which is one of the
fastest-growing service providers for Senior Care Services. Some of the
as-needed services include:
Housekeeping * Grocery & Other Shopping * Transporting & Accompanying
to Medical and Other Appointments * Recuperation from Hospitalisation *
Long Distance Care * Personal and Health Care
www.NowhereLikeHome.ca · ORowe@NowhereLikeHome.ca · 416.628.5072