Please note: The typos on
the title page and other errors areintentional. MarketingProfs writer Veronica Maria Jarski (whocreated this deck) sincerely implores you to not follow thisas a prescription.Instead, do the OPPOSITE.
1. Change fonts frequently.Using different
fonts willtrick the readers’ eyesand prevent people fromreading your slides easily.They are totally going to have towork hard to read your words!No free ride here, slackers.
3. Fill every slide with
text.You’ve got a lot of information to cover in your allotted time. So, how are folksgoing to know if you don’t put all the information that you say in all the slides?Sure, you could offer a downloadable white paper or do a series of blog postscovering the same information, but we’re talking about the now. And right now,folks are looking at these slides. They better look like they warranted the speakingfee you asked for. Because if you don’t have every single fact that you say on everyslide, attendees are going to begin to doubt your expertise. Sure, they could listento you, but you know they prefer to read all the text instead! So, what if there’s notenough text? You won’t be hired to do presentations anymore. And then, if thathappens, you’re going to have to start climbing the power ladder all overagain. And meanwhile, you’re notmaking the money you were, andyou have to move in with your sisterand her family, and you’ll end upspending most of your time providingfree babysitting and watchingepisodes of “The Big Bang Theory”to cheer yourself up. So, fill each slidewith all the words you need to PROVE without any doubt that you are an expert.
4. Overdesign your pages.You can
do SO 5 Series 1many things in 0 Series 1 Series 2 Category 1 Series 3Show off your by using as many ofthe whizzbang features of PowerPoint as youdeem fit (read: all). COOL!
5. Mispell Werds and Use
FUN Punctguation!!!!!!!!!!You know what’s a sign of genius on-the-fly thinking? A typo here an,d there.Write―― your slides qui!ckly anddon’t spellcheck. (Between me and you, weknow that people who are correctin other people’s grammar are stick in the mudsand no fun. (They’re friendssecritly despize writing thememails.)The internets and textinghave proven that grammerand die-hard rules ofpunctuation will go the awayof dialup modims.So, do’nt waste valuabale timeUsing spellchek! Use your timeIn choosing fun images(prefirbly! ones of animals!With glasses!)..
6. Use edgy images!Load up
your slides with images that have nothing to do with yourpresentation at all.People love beingsurprised and havingto guess at hiddenmeanings. (That’swhy people loveclowns and mimes.)
7. Use lots of color.Most
companies prefer to use just a select groupof colors as their “palette.”Studies have proven, though, that colors inspireemotions. So, use colors as frequently aspossible to convey feelings like happiness, joy,excitement, fear, schadenfreude,etc. The more colors, the better!
8. Switch up your font
sizes.Keep attendees’ attention by varying the sizesof your fonts. (This compliments the #1 slides.)You want people to peer in and alsoLEAN AWAY from your slides.That results in E-N-G-A-G-E-M-E-N-T.
9. Include random inspirational quotes
from famous folks. No one wants to hear quotes from obscure people or those outside your industry. Instead, choose quotes from people everyone has heard of: Abraham Lincoln, Mark Twain, Seth Godin, Steve Jobs, and Dr. Seuss.
11. Avoid learning about making
your presentations awesome. You could attend the Presentations Unleashed course at MarketingProfs University to learn how to create slides and presentations that inform, persuade, and inspire. (You could also save money by using the code INSPIRE to save $200.)But then, you’d get betterat your work…and do youreally want to stand out?