Lolo

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The document outlines steps to ruin your own life by following the example of Lolo Jones, an Olympian who received significant hype and support for announcing she was a virgin but then lost her big race and received more media attention than her gold-medal winning teammates. After losing, she cried on TV and will likely have to compete on reality shows like Dancing with the Stars to maintain relevance.

Health & Medicine Business

How To Ruin Your Own Life

The Lolo Jones Edition

Appeal to wholesome Americans by
announcing that you’re a virgin.

Go Into the Olympics with tons of hype
and support

Still get more air time than your gold
medal winning teammates, who are
pissed that they have somehow
become the Kelly Rowland and
Michelle Williams to your Beyonce

Have the New York Times take a dump
all over you.

End your time at the Olympics by
crying on TV, and start preparing for
the inevitable shame of having to
compete on “Dancing With The Stars”
to stay relevant.

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