How To Ruin Your Own Life     The Lolo Jones Edition
Train for the Olympics
Appeal to wholesome Americans by announcing that you’re a virgin.
Go Into the Olympics with tons of hype             and support
Lose your big race.
Still get more air time than your goldmedal winning teammates, who are   pissed that they have somehow    become the Kelly...
Have the New York Times take a dump           all over you.
End your time at the Olympics by crying on TV, and start preparing for  the inevitable shame of having tocompete on “Danci...
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Lolo

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Lolo

  1. 1. How To Ruin Your Own Life The Lolo Jones Edition
  2. 2. Train for the Olympics
  3. 3. Appeal to wholesome Americans by announcing that you’re a virgin.
  4. 4. Go Into the Olympics with tons of hype and support
  5. 5. Lose your big race.
  6. 6. Still get more air time than your goldmedal winning teammates, who are pissed that they have somehow become the Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams to your Beyonce
  7. 7. Have the New York Times take a dump all over you.
  8. 8. End your time at the Olympics by crying on TV, and start preparing for the inevitable shame of having tocompete on “Dancing With The Stars” to stay relevant.

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