1. Killer Lovers by Dr. Robi Ludwig
Falling in love is always a bit of a mystery. Psychoanalyst Theodore Reik said most people fall in love for selfish reasons. We’re attracted to and choose people who seem capable of giving us the qualities we think we’re lacking. But what if our love radar is terribly off? So off, that the lover we choose instead of making our dreams come true, ultimately turns into our worst nightmare as well as our personal killer? I know, it’s a very scary thought. Eight years ago, when I was approached to write a book about marital homicide, it was the last topic I ever thought I’d write about. I considered myself more of a “happily ever after” kind of person. Marrying one’s killer is such a dark idea and a very foreign one to a positive self-help therapist like myself. Yet, there was something very intriguing and compelling about the notion that someone would actually fall in love with and marry his or her killer. It didn’t take long before I was totally hooked and intensely researching the topic. I wondered what went wrong. What took place in order for these love tragedies to occur? One of the first questions I was and still am routinely asked, especially during TV and radio interviews I do about my book, Till Death Do Us Part: Love, Marriage and the Mind of the Killer Spouse is, Why don’t these people just get divorced?
2. That is a very good question! The answer, “Divorce takes time, takes forethought, and can be quite costly.” In some cases, it can also compromise one’s moral and social standing in the community. Homicide, to the distorted thinker, is a lot quicker. It erroneously seems more efficient in that disturbed state. Divorce, while an understandable and common solution for the maritally disgruntled and even minded is not always the effective go to choice for the more murderously and maddened partner. As a relationship contributor for Investigation Discovery’s popular series Scorned: Love Kills (now going into its 4th season this October), I talk about the unconscious mindset and motivations of these killer lovers. The show vividly highlights and brings to life the more lethal side of love and romance. Scorned leads its loyal viewers to the intimate side of these violent crimes of passion. It gives the audience a voyeuristic view and dramatic account of the events which lead to the homicidal crimes and major headliners of the day. During my research one common trait clearly emerged among these disturbed group of killer lovers: They often viewed their partner as standing in the way between them and the life they wanted and felt entitled to lead with a certain fierceness: A life they viewed for themselves as filled with interpersonal happiness, joy, passion and fulfillment. It’s a sad and deadly twist of fate for couples who simply wanted to achieve their own personal version of “happily ever after”,even if it meant killing one another to achieve it. These individuals with their distorted view of self and their own self described perception of happiness, ultimately led them to dire results for both themselves and their partners. – By Dr. Robi Ludwig
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