If you are in an abusive marriage, getting out could possibly mean the difference between life and death. Read more

1. Domestic Violence Divorce
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Divorcing an Abusive Husband
If you are in an abusive marriage, getting out could possibly mean the difference between life and death.
Intimate partner violence happens regardless of age, race, gender, socioeconomic class, physical abilities,
or sexual orientation. In the United States, 50% of women have experienced some form of aggression by a
partner in their lifetime. What’s more, information compiled by the American Psychological
Association shows that, each day, an average of at least three women are murdered by husbands or
boyfriends. Here’s what you can do to leave your abusive husband.
Plan Ahead (Privately!)
There comes a point when a woman decides that it is no longer in her best interest to stay with an abusive
husband. Perhaps, his violence has recently escalated or he is involving the children in your
disagreements. When you make the choice to leave, know that it won’t be easy. You are not only
terminating a marriage, but you are also running the risk of enraging him by your departure. This is why it
is best to start planning your departure in private beforehand. Reach out to encouraging family members or
friends who are willing to help you, and let them know your plan. Divorcing an abusive husband can be a
heart wrenching decision, but it is one that you are doing for the safety and welfare of yourself and your
children.
Protect Yourself and Seek Support

2. When you leave have an exit plan in place and some things gathered for yourself and the children. If your
husband is particularly watchful, you may be able to leave a few things with family or friends over a span of
weeks so that you can walk out empty-handed. If your spouse threatens harm, you may have to get a
restraining order to protect yourself. Be warned that the 24 hours following the issuance of a restraining
order are the most volatile. See if the police will escort you to a family member’s house or contact a local
women’s shelter to see if you can stay at a safe house until things are settled. It may also be practical to
reach out to a women’s domestic violence support group or get counseling services to help you through
this tumultuous time.
Child Custody and Abusive Situations
Your husband may have warned you of what he would do if you ever tried to take his children away. Still, if
you are in fear of your life, it is best to get your children out of the cross-fire as well. Besides, the judge who
presides over your divorce proceedings will certainly questions why you as the mother left your children in
an abusive environment. Take them with you so that your spouse cannot use them as leverage to make
you agree to his terms in the divorce, or, worse, try to force you to return to an abusive relationship. You
have a right to fight for child custody, especially if you have some form of proof that living with him is too
volatile for your children.
Get Competent Legal Assistance from an Experienced Utah Family Law
Attorney
As mentioned above, the dynamics of an intimate partner violence relationship can lead some women to
be intimidated into an unfair divorce agreement. Contact a qualified attorney who is trained in handling
cases like yours, so that you are not intimidated during the divorce proceedings.
In most divorce cases, mediation is often the first method to finalize a divorce, however, for domestic
violence cases it may not be appropriate, and the courts will waive the mediation requirement. If you have
been attacked, raped, or stalked by your husband, it’s important to document it for proof. A lawyer can help
you file criminal charges for these transgressions. An experienced divorce attorney and family lawyer can
help you navigate these waters and assist you with the divorce and custody cases.
Recap
When divorcing an abusive husband, employ these strategies to safely leave him and
the marriage:
Develop an exit plan to get you and your children out of his presence.
Reach out to family, friends, or women’s shelter for assistance.
Secure a restraining order if you believe your life is in danger.
See a psychologist or mental health provider to help you through the ordeal.
Document any assaults or trespassing to support your case in court.
Contact a professional divorce or family lawyer like Stacey Schmidt.
Attorney Stacey Schmidt has numerous years of experience working alongside victims of domestic
violence, while supporting their interests in divorce proceedings. If you would like to get more information
on divorcing an abusive spouse, contact the law offices of Schmidt & Gladstone for a free 30 minute
consultation.