"Nevertheless, I persisted." | #inspireWIT
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On the 7th of April, I delivered a talk at the inspire Women in Tech conference in Nottingham at the Broadway Cinema. I spoke about my journey into technology, my struggles to get there and how I persisted despite internal and external setbacks.
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- 1. Nevertheless, she persisted. Pauline P. Narvas @paulienuh Biomedical Sciences student, Web Developer, Blogger & Community builder
- 4. @paulienuh
- 5. HTML + CSS Paint Shop Pro Photoshop @paulienuh
- 6. My first domain 😱 @paulienuh
- 7. Reactions from kids at school @paulienuh
- 8. A doctor or a doctor @paulienuh “Pauline, there are people that are good at STEM subjects and so belong there, and some people that simply aren’t. Truthfully, I don’t think that you are.”
- 13. “Wait, tech is a job?” @paulienuh
- 16. Goals: Take part in a hackathon with Code First: Girls First: Girls students Organise a hackathon: - involving as many Code First: Girls students as possible - involving as many non-CompSci students as possible @paulienuh
- 18. My journey into tech hasn’t been linear @paulienuh Self-doubt People trying to put me in boxes, because of my gender, ethnicity & degree. #haters No mom, I will not be a doctor.
- 19. Advice #1. Community is everything. Find yours. @paulienuh
- 20. Advice # 2. Support others 💫 @paulienuh
- 22. Advice #4. Don’t wait to be perfect. @paulienuh
- 23. Advice #5. Don’t be afraid of being different. @paulienuh
- 24. @paulienuh “Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Wishing will not; Talent will not; Genius will not; Education will not; Persistence is like a Genie that creates a magical force in your life.” TL:DL – Persist. ASF.
- 25. Nevertheless, you persisted. Pauline P. Narvas Twitter: @paulienuh Blog: pawlean.com
Editor's Notes
- Welcoming people in Introducing myself: my name, degree, blog, developer, building communities - volunteering CFG - helped teach over 100+ women how to code, organise hackathon events and help out at events like this one - today I’m actually helping out with social media -> which reminds me… SELFIE. That’s one off the bucket list. Haha. So on to my talk, I’ll be talking to you about my journey into technology coming from a completely different background.
- There is a number everyone in the industry is working hard to change and that’s these ones: Women make up 24% of the STEM workforce In technology specifically, women make up 17% There’s so much potential for women in the field to contribute to an important part of society. There’s a saying: “You can’t be who you can’t see” - I want you all to know that if she can, I can then you can. STEM is not a man’s world.
- My journey started when I was 8 years old. Curious about computers, how the worked, how they were made. When I first connected to the internet - I was welcomed into a world where I could do ANYTHING. So I started playing online video games, one particular game, aspiring game developer. How could I change it?
- Thinking, searching online: how could I do that? I reckoned since it was hosted online, the first step is to look at making a website right? Stumbled upon Piczo - drawing out my designs and ideas on paint then putting it online and making an online diary of what I wanted to make. Freewebs - gave you an option to “make your own layout” / less drag and drop. More coding. The little textarea said “ HTML code”
- So I started learning how to code. The basics from reading all sorts of sources, trial and error, failing, getting frustrated and leaving, then going back to it. Until it became easier, and fun. I started getting carried away, made loads of websites all with different styles. Moved away from game development from all my obsessions at the time e.g. disney, cartoons, high school musical. I enjoyed switching it up abit, sidebar, no sidebar, sidebar, no sidebar. STORY: I remember one thing I was VERY proud of was creating a button that once you clicked it, a photo of the HSM cast would pop out like “WOO go wildcats!!!” Discovered other programs e.g. Photoshop and Paint Shop Pro where I made embarrassing designs like this and this. After obsessing over owning loads of different websites, I let go of all of the ones I had and built one that had different sections on my interests and wrote updates about them every so often - and that is when I dipped into the world of blogging.
- And these are my first few blog posts, in 2009, when I didn’t know how to spell and would thank everyone for everything… oh wait, I still do that. My “blog” and website, became my online diary, it started getting views from others doing the same thing. Creating “these graphics” which back in the day we called “Blends”. Commenting, sharing, and it was like a little community of back and forth, making little friends who were my age! It started to grow!
- I got excited with what I was doing and discovering. I was proud of it. I wanted to share with others what I was learning so that we could do it all together. It would be fun!! So I went around telling people at school, writing my URL of my site on a piece of paper - handwritten, like business cards! But that wasn’t the smartest idea. Left mean comments, make fun of what I was doing, I would cry. They would bully me, I would dread school. Call me a boy. Say I was “trying to impress others” and that I was a nerd. Lunch story: Rebecca. So I made a new website. And went on anonymous. Rumours and the bullying eventually faded, but it was pointed out here and there. I loved what I was doing and when it got to the point I had to choose my GCSEs, I chose Computing to learn other languages. First lesson: dread. Staring at me. Boy asked me if I was in the wrong room, when I said I wasn’t, they were all staring, whispering. I hid in a corner, terrified. Whenever I got something wrong in my code, I would ask for help and they would laugh at me and point it out so the rest of the class would hear. It was difficult. But I kept going. I was there to learn more… I wanted to code. I just wanted to code.
- So eager that when I was choosing my A Levels, I told my mom that I wanted to choose Computer Science as one of my choices. She didn’t understand it much back then, and truthfully, I didn’t know much about what I know now. She shockedly asked me if I wanted to just fix computers for a living and spend your days on the computer. Deep down, I was like, um actually I do want to build a shiny pink PC….But I knew she wasn’t going to have it. In her mind, I was either going to be a doctor, or a doctor. So I chose Bio, Chem, Sociology. In her dreams of me becoming a doctor, she didn’t want me to be distracted so I was pressured to stop everything I was doing online from coding, from owning a website so I stopped for her. I know she just wanted the best for me at the time, so I followed her wishes. After my AS Levels, my grades weren’t the best. Let’s just say they were medicine-level. On one parents evening, my biology teacher told me and my parents, “Pauline, there are some people that are good at harder science (STEM) subjects and some who just aren’t and truthfully I don’t think you are.” That evening hit me hard. I started doubting myself in science and technology. I can’t do science, I can’t do technology. I was down and considered dropping out to go to college and doing a non-STEM subject. I started browsing my site. What stopped me was a comment on one of my pages on my site, that said, “I love what this and what you make!” It made me happy, I found determination to start over again - and keep persisting, eventually my U’s turned to D’s turned to C’s turned to B’s turned to A’s I left school with A*AB A levels into a Biomedical Sciences, which was the next best thing to my parents because I could still be a doctor.
- Trouble adjusting High expectations for it to be this inspiring, engaging thing and as time went on, I realised that although I loved science, I was chasing my parents’ dream that wasn’t mine. I knew it wasn’t something I wanted to REALLY do. Lack of creativity In the midst of a negative cycle I had in my first and second year that was filled with anxiety and lack of confidence in myself, I looked to my blog. I started it up again. Pawlean.com started a fresh. It was space for me to openly be creative with my designs, write and connect with others feeling the same way, get through things together, like a little community, a supportive network. Started coding again.
- But my reality, was BMS. So I started searching for placement year to maybe spark up the future - I definitely didn’t want to be a doctor, but also a lab technician. Interviewed for roles. Rejected. Increasingly feeling awful about my choice. Lost.
- Story of discovering CFG. - what is CFG? The email. Never heard of such a group. Joined in 2016, entered room filled with women, wanting to learn. Different degrees, open mind. Felt like I belonged, not being judged, learning together. Community feel. Found myself teaching. Looking for volunteers
- Inspired by the instructors, the open mindedness, the CFG mission of helping women in tech, teaching as many as they can. Excitedness in the industry. Going out there to create a positive impact, I was so inspired and motivated to help as much as I can because I know how it felt. I took a different approach with my placement search - open mind, to different roles, beyond the box just like those girls did in when they signed up to the course. It was sort of a “click” Next interview: I found a new energy, I spoke about my blog, stuff that sparked joy - my blog, my online work, cfg and come August 2016, I secured a placement in Comms.
- Varied role - emb, l+t, marketing comms. Worked with a learning technologist, Bryony Olney, was working on incredible things with VR embedding into learning and teaching. She is innovative, creative and made me realise that tech is at the centre of every industry, it’s the future. Made me realise that you don’t need to know how to code to be involved in technology. During my placement year, I made a name for myself in the faculty and departments I worked in and known as the “techy” one where I got to explore Web Dev jobs and do lots of work in L&T! I learnt a lot about myself that year, I swayed over to do alternatives to BMS careers. After this placement, I went on to secure two more summer placements as a developer in two different companies. That tech is a job.
- Around the same time, I was blogging about my experience on placement and teaching at CFG. My post on CFG was read by the president of the Hackathon group in Sheffield, Hack Sheffield who was eager to we met up and he told me about the how hackathons lacked female attendance and how he was trying to increase attendance and thought that CFG was the perfect opportunity to do this! Whilst he was talking, I was inspired by his motivations and determination to create a more inclusive community. He inspired me to think about the wider community. So I committed to a project: Project: Community.
- My next term of CFG, my goal was to make it feel of a community rather than just a course students attended. Bridging the course to women in tech community. We did this in two main ways: inviting speakers in the WiT (because again you can’t be who you can’t see!) and encouraging group trips to conferences like these ones. It wasn’t just a course where they left and never spoke to each other again, it was a network where they can share resources in their tech journey or career ourney knowing that we are here to help them :D Success - developer jobs.
- We had Matt and other hackathon organisers / community members to the course, to talk about hackathons and the importance of having them. So in 2017, we went to our first hackathon as the CFG community and have been attending since. I’ve never been so proud of what they have made. Students who never knew how to code, are coding at these hackathons, seeing the benefits of learning. After experience - high compsci low female, I tried my best to diversify, joined a team and a recent hackathon I helped organise saw a 40% female attendance with people from different degrees.
- Throughout this, I continued to blog and extended mytopics to Tech. and realised the wider impact I could have sharing and documenting it all online. Local -> Global. Sharing my story Freelance web dev work Other opportunities: a highlight for me was vlogging about the hackathon community and being part of the IWD campaign.
- My journey into tech hasn’t been linear. Getting my foot in the door has been difficult. I’ve faced obstacles from crippling self-doubt, people trying to tell me where I fit in, #haters, and pressure but I’ve continued to persist. And I believe that persistence, grit and determination is the catalyst that has helped me.
- Find your community. For me, i wouldn’t have been anywhere near as successful in my dreams and goals without the community in Sheffield. CFG has opened doors for me from connecting with like-minded folks to building my self-belief and confidence to be in STEM. There isn’t actually a CFG community in Nottingham, yet. So if you do want to get involved - get in touch!
- Support others Once you support someone, the support comes back. We aren’t in competition with each other, we’re all here to lift each other up and be the best that we can be. :D In the next week, I invite you support someone with anything - we all get something out of it!
- Speak up about your achievements, your awards, your work. Don’t be afraid or shy or make anybody make you feel like you shouldn’t talk about things you’re proud about or make you feel ashamed. Your story and voice matters.
- Don’t wait to be perfect Truthfully is nobody is going to be perfect ever - chasing for perfection is an endless hole that will get you nowhere. Nobody 100% ticks all the boxes! Don’t wait to be perfect and just jump in, heart first. Instead, strike for progress. Imagine where you want to be - and work for it. Fail, reflect, improve, fail and repeat. Every 1% you put in every day gets you somewhere.
- I wish I could tell my younger self this. Being different isn’t a bad thing, having a different background to a majority of the field doesn’t mean that you’re less able to take on that job, or that career. We often feel pressured to become x,y,z because of our degree – you’re not restricted to that box that your degree may put you in! You can be whoever you want to be even if the way you get there is different to others! And don’t forget, coming from a different background allows you to bring in a new perspective and fresh set of eyes, different neuron wiring in your brain to bring something new – a new approach to the field. I saw this during HackMed! :D So don’t be afraid to be different.
- Who’s seen Moana? If there’s one thing I want you to get out of my talk today it’s to be exactly like Moana when she was on a mission to return the heart of te fiti and persist despite setbacks, despite people giving up on you/not believing in you or you not believing in yourself. This quote put it nicely: Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Wishing will not; Talent will not; Genius will not; Education will not; Persistence is like a Genie that creates a magical force in your life. ~ Lucas Remmerswaal Use that force to propel yourself forward - whether that's applying for a job or internship in tech or speaking publicly like this - and don’t let anything or anyone tell you that you can’t. You can and you will.
- Thank you!