I025 - Submission for Russell Egnor Media Awards - Writing - Feature - Chris Watt, NNSY Public Affairs Specialist - Finding The Balance - Released 11/1/14

1. 8 Service to the Fleet, November 2014
Finding th
Y
our lawn needs to be mowed.
This is normally not an issue except you
just worked a long, hard week trying to
keep the ship on schedule, attended three evening
little league baseball games, stood in line at two
pharmacies, made it to one doctor appointment,
missed the other one, had to shop at Walmart after
10 pm four times for school supplies and groceries,
still need to write three more performance reports,
and the brakes on your truck started squealing this
morning right after you spilled coffee on the dash
board and fried the radio. Oh, and your lawn still
needs to be mowed.
How do you find balance between work and life?
One place to start is to contact or visit Amy
Stephan, MSW, LCSW, Employee Assistance
Program field consultant with Behavioral
Health Services and Federal Occupational
Health of the U.S. Department of Human
Services. She’s located in the Department
of the Navy Civilian Employee Assistance
Program (DONCEAP) office in
Building 16 at Norfolk Naval
Shipyard (NNSY).
“One of the first things we
discuss with clients is how
they spend their time versus
their priorities,” Stephan said.
“Does who you are right
now line up with who you
want to be?”
As a counselor, Stephan
discusses with shipyard
workers the realities and
priorities of both the work life
and their outside-of-work life and then
provides advice on how to balance the two. She
also offers materials and programs to help her clients
meet their life priorities.
“The DONCEAP has many
programs and resources to help our shipyarders
find the balance they need to reduce stress at
home and at work,” Stephan said.
Stephan said shipyard workers can visit her office
during the work day and their visits will remain
confidential. She said as a licensed counselor, she is
bound by confidentiality laws.
“But if it is during the work day, supervisors
can call and verify that their employee is in my
office,” she said.
Stephan said that many people who are
struggling to find the balance between life
and work wait until major issues, such as
a letter of caution from their supervisor,
marital problems, problems with
children, or increased stress at work, has
overwhelmed them before they go
into see her.
She said shipyarders can also
go in to receive advice on how to
reduce their stress and balance
their home and work life before
it gets out of hand.
Stephan said there are many
lesser-known services that
DONCEAP can provide to
people who just want
advice on keeping the
balance they already have.
“We have all kinds of programs
to help people including legal services,
retirement planning, management coaching, child
care resources, elder care resources, employee
assistance and work/life services, financial
services and much more.”
By Chris Watt
Code 1160 Public Affairs Specialist
8 Service to the Fleet, November 2014

2. Service to the Fleet, November 2014 9
he Balance
If counseling is needed beyond
what Stephan can offer, the DONCEAP
at NNSY can also access resources in the local
community or in the community where you are
located.
“If, for example, one of our fly-away teams has an
individual who is struggling with something while
they are on assignment, I can reach out to one of our
affiliates in the community where they are located
and get them the help they need,” she said. “We
can provide up to six sessions for free with one
of our community affiliates.”
Stephan explained that an affiliate refers to
a local community professional counselor—
not necessarily affiliated with the military—
who has agreed to assist our counselors
when needed.
But how does all this help me mow
my lawn?
“When a client comes in I sit
down with them and a piece of
paper and I draw two, intersecting
circles,” said Stephan. “In one of
the circles I ask them to write all
the things that make them who
they are right now—work,
family, school, etc. In the other
circle I ask them to write
all the things that make up
who they want to be. Then we see
how much the circles overlap.
“The more the circles overlap the closer you
are to being who you want to be,” she said.
“It’s about understanding the competing
demands in your life and then using creativity to
look at the situation from a different angle to find a
solution.”
So, back to mowing the lawn.
With an issue such as a lawn in need of mowing or
a set of brakes in need of changing or work taking
up all the free time you would have used to mow the
lawn or fix the brakes, Stephan suggests that if you
can’t reduce your time at work, perhaps you could
pay someone to mow your lawn or fix your brakes,
thereby transferring the time it would have taken from
your day to someone who does those things for a
living.
“If you can hire someone to mow your lawn, you
no longer have to worry about your lawn,” she said.
“It will also give you more free time to spend with
family and friends or to work on other priorities
you may have. It may be worth the money just to
reduce the stress.”
Stephan said she discusses with her clients the
demands on their time and their true priorities.
“We then discuss possible solutions and I
help them come to their own conclusions
about what will work for them,” she said.
“That’s when they make the commitments
that will move them closer to a work/life
balance.”
Whether your work/life balance
is already tipping to one side,
starting to tip or you just want
to maintain your balance, you
can visit Amy Stephan in her
office in Building 16, call
her at (757) 967-5179 during
normal workday hours or you
can browse the printed free
literature and information
available 24-hours-a-day in
the Building 16 lobby.
For additional information
about these and the many other
free programs provided by DONCEAP,
visit http://DONCEAP.foh.hhs.gov, or call
1-844-DONCEAP (1-844-366-2327).
Service to the Fleet, November 2014 9

3. 10 Service to the Fleet, November 2014
Tips for Finding the Balance
Think about what you want to accomplish
daily and in the future.
l Make sure your short-term goals support
your long-term goals.
l Stay focused on your goals each day.
Schedule Your Priorities:
Set Goals
Spend quality time with the ones you love in a
way that is meaningful to everyone.
l For example, if you can only attend one after-
school activity per week, make sure it is the one
that is most meaningful to your child.
l Ask your partner what you can do to lighten
his or her load each day or week. This will help
you learn what your partner needs and will make
them feel valued and supported.
l Stay focused on what you need. Make sure
that you have at least a few hours a week to do
what nourished and replenished you.
Schedule Your Priorities:
Understand What Each Family
Member Values
l If you are unsure of what is expected of you at
work, ask for direction and clarification of your tasks.
l If you feel overloaded at work, ask your
supervisor for help in prioritizing your tasks.
l At home, have family meetings to plan for
the week ahead. Designate a communications
center. Hang a bulletin board and family
calendar in a central location. Instruct each
family member to record activities—games,
practices, after school job hours, social events,
etc.—on the calendar.
l Let family members know what you expect
from the household. Invite all to brainstorm
solutions and delegate responsibilities for
meeting household needs.
l Ask for help when l Express your
you need it. appreciation.
Communicate Your Needs
Be clear about what is important to your agency.
Ask your supervisor to review expectations
of your work performance and how they
fit into the overall mission of the agency.
Understanding how your work contributes to
the success of your agency will help you set
priorities that will make you successful.
Schedule Your Priorities:
Know What Is Expected of You
at Work
10 Service to the Fleet, November 2014

4. Service to the Fleet, November 2014 11
l Get regular exercise.
l Eat healthy meals.
l Get enough rest.
l Pay attention to your body and what it needs.
l Make time for yourself.
l Travel slightly before or after the rush hour.
l Use commute time for personal growth
activities such as reading, practicing relaxation
techniques, or even learning a new language.
You may also want to use this time to plan
ahead for the day’s work or to relax and prepare
for your return home.
l Develop a hobby or interest.
l Go on outings and vacations.
Improve Your Physical and
Mental Health by Engaging in
Meaningful Activities
l Schedule time to be alone with each other.
Fun should be a daily activity.
l Encourage your partner often.
l Be willing to share your thoughts and feelings
and listen to your partner.
Enhance Satisfying Relationships:
Relationship with partner
l Schedule time each evening for a family
activity. Play cards or a board game, or take the
dog for a walk.
l Plan outings that will be meaningful to the
entire family.
l Create a “coming home from work” routine
for children that gives everyone what they need.
For example, to ease transition from work to
home, you may want 15 minutes to yourself
when you first get home. Take a bath or shower,
lie down or read the mail. Let children know
to expect this and that they will have your full
attention once you have had time to unwind.
Enhance Satisfying Relationships:
Relationship with Children
l Plan menus ahead of time and have
ingredients on-hand.
l Cook in big batches ahead of time and freeze.
You can eat prepared meals throughout the
week on late work-nights or nights when family
activities prevent cooking a full meal.
l Shop during off-peak hours.
l Batch errands and complete in a reasonable
order.
l Prepare school lunches, clothing, backpacks
and briefcases the night before. Keep
outerwear, bags and shoes by the door each
evening so they are easy to find in the morning.
l Limit morning choices. Allow children only two
outfits to choose from, two cereals, etc.
l Teach children how to save time by planning
ahead and being prepared.
Be Efficient
l Spend at least a few hours a week doing an
activity with a friend that you both enjoy.
l Maintain friendly relationships with co‑workers.
This can help improve communication and make
work more enjoyable.
l Write one letter or make one phone call per
week to a long-distance friend or relative.
Enhance Satisfying Relationships:
Relationship with
Friends/Relatives/Co-workers
l Divide and share household responsibilities
according to likes/dislikes, skills and availability.
l Communicate the standard of quality that is
expected for household chores.
l At home, be flexible with scheduling.
l Find ways to make family chores fun for everyone.
Modify Responsibilities
All information provided by
Department of the Navy Civilian
Employee Assistance Program
at: http://DONCEAP.foh.hhs.gov.
Service to the Fleet, November 2014 11