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The Secret Parent: How Socioeconomic Status Influences the Lives of Youth
Elizabeth A. Marshall
Eastern Michigan University

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A parent has a profound impact on the development of a child. A parent makes choices
and decisions that will influence how their child learns, feels, and interacts with others. Despite
the best intentions of a parent, the socioeconomic status (SES) of a family influences the social
and academic development of a child. In one study alone it was found that “a $10,000 increment
in family income was associated with a 16% increase in high school graduation rates for children
of middle income families, but a 600% increase in high school graduation for low income and
poor children” (Farah, Noble, & Hurt, 2010, p. 4). While a family’s SES does not definitively
determine the academic and social development of a child, there are varying patterns of parental
behaviors and other environmental factors linked to these different levels of SES that contribute
to a child’s development. Because of these connections, SES has become a significant predictor
of academic and social development.
One substantial difference between low SES and middle SES families is the frequency of
cognitive stimulation a child receives. This difference is most evident in language and
vocabulary acquisition research. Several studies have examined how children learn words and
the rate at which children acquire words into their vocabularies. In a study by the University of
Kansas it was found that by the time children raised in low SES families turned four they had
heard 32 million fewer words than their cohorts in higher SES brackets (Brooks, 2011, p. 106).
This difference in language acquisition has been identified as a contributor to the academic
achievement gaps present at the start of kindergarten, putting low SES children at a disadvantage
to their more affluent peers from an early age. This difference in vocabulary exposure only
exacerbates once the child enters middle childhood where vocabulary increases at a rate of 3 to
5,000 words per year (Davies, 2011, p. 344). Exposure to adult conversation and written word
are equally important to academic development. In one study it was discovered that the average

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number of “1-on-1 picture book reading experienced by children prior to kindergarten entry has
been estimated at 25 for low SES children and between 1000 and 1700 for middle SES children”
(Farah et al., 2010, p. 14). Because children of high SES parents are consistently exposed more
language than children of low SES parents, the gap in their academic development will only
expand throughout middle childhood and into adolescence.
Additional studies identify a causal connection between cognitive stimulation and social
development. Parents who frequently converse with their child encourage the child to express
their feelings in words (Davies, 2011, p. 345). This ability to verbally express oneself is
especially important as the child enters middle childhood and the need to put internal states into
words and delay acting on those feelings becomes important for school success. As Davies
(2011) explains “when parents encourage verbal expression, they convey that words can be used
to understand the world or resolve conflict” and as a result, a child that can verbalize their
internal feelings is less physically aggressive than a child who cannot (p. 346). The child who
can, uses their verbalization as a means of self-regulation; they are successfully able to express
their emotions verbally rather than resorting to physical violence to express anger, frustration, or
any other negative emotion.
Brooks (2011) identifies SES as the reason for the distinct communication patterns.
When discussing the differences between the home environment that Harold and Erica
experienced in The Social Animal he says that Harold’s parents constantly talked with him,
whereas in Erica’s home the TV was usually on because her mother was “simply too exhausted
to spend much energy on childlike conversation” (Brooks, 2011, p.106). When parents do not
encourage communication and verbalized expression of emotions, the results can be very
detrimental to the child. These children may become maladjusted to a school culture that has

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little tolerance for physical violence or strong emotional outbursts, as seen in Erica’s case. This
consequence is played out on a regular basis in many urban school systems in America where
students are frequently disciplined and suspended for fighting.
Parents can support academic and social development by instilling the value of the future
in their child. In Kegan’s (1994) discussion of durable categories, he addresses a common
expectation parents have of teenagers: that their child will be home by a set curfew. In the
hypothetical situation that he creates, Matty breaks his curfew by two hours without calling his
parents. Matty’s parents want Matty to behave because he has chosen to put his parent’s desires
before his own, not out of fear of the consequence (Kegan, 1994, p.16). As Kegan explains,
durable categories is a higher order thinking process that requires one to not only know another
person’s point of view, but to understand it. In this scenario, it is the idea that Matty’s thought
process will shift from what will happen to him if he misses curfew to what will happen to his
relationship with his parents if he misses curfew (Kegan, 1994, p.26). Achieving durable cross-
categorical thought moves relationships “from being extrinsically valuable to being intrinsically
valuable” and consequently, brings the idea of the future into the present. (Kegan, 1994, p. 26-
27). This cognitive ability is developed only after a child has learned to decenter, meaning they
have developed a less egocentric perspective of the world. This new capability to decenter allows
for a clearer understanding of causality during middle childhood and adolescence (Davies, 2011,
p.351). When an adolescent is able to bring the future into the context of the present, meaning
they are able to fully examine the positive or negative consequences of an action before making a
decision, they have achieved a categorical order of mind sophisticated enough to handle impulse
control.

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However, this highly developed cross-categorical state of cognition is difficult to attain in
low SES households where psychological stressors can impede the development of the pre-
frontal cortex and limbic system. The brain’s pre-frontal cortex is responsible for decision
making and carries out executive functions, such as determining good and bad, and the
consequence of future actions (Steinberg, 2014, p. 76). The limbic system is responsible for
emotions and memory. These two parts of the brain work together; once the limbic system
generates an emotional response it is sent to the prefrontal cortex “which evaluates and interprets
the emotion and makes a decision about what to do in response to it” (Steinberg, 2014, p. 72).
Studies have reveled psychological stress causes the secretion of cortisol and other stress
hormones, which affect the brain in several ways (Farah et. al., 2010, p.15). One such affect is on
the prefrontal cortex, which regulates the stress response. When the limbic system is triggered in
highly stressful situations, the pre-frontal cortex may have difficulty regulating the emotional
response. Adolescences already find impulse control difficult because their prefrontal cortex has
not fully matured. However, if the prefrontal cortex is underdeveloped due to growing up in a
stressful environment an individual can have inappropriate or ineffective reactions. This is
evidenced with Erica in The Social Animal when she has a hostile and aggressive meltdown at a
tennis match after a she plays poorly and believes the line judge made a bad call (Brooks, 2011,
p.119-120). Her inability to calm and manage her emotional response caused her poor executive
decision making. Erica’s mismanagement of her impulses is the culmination of several factors:
being raised in a psychologically stressful environment impacted her executive function to
determine a good decision from a bad one; the lack of encouragement to express verbally to
resolve conflict impeded her ability to appropriately express her anger; and a compromised

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cognitive ability to bring the future into the present made controlling her impulses nearly
impossible. All of these factors are consistent with children raised in low SES households.
In addition to the negative impacts on brain development, the home environment of low
SES families can influence other areas of social development. Many low SES families feel that
they are unable to protect their children from the difficulties of the real world, and subsequently
believe that their children must learn to standup for themselves. When a parent opts for this
theory of parenting, the result is that the child begins to take on more adult roles (Ferguson,
2001, p.107). Brooks (2011) conveys this mindset with Erica when she sneaks in to a new
charter school and shortcuts the lottery by asking to be enrolled (p.113-114). This is also seen in
Ferguson’s (2001) story of Horace, whose mother is on the verge of eviction; as Ferguson says
“Horace cannot be shielded from that possibility [of eviction]. He must act as a witness on behalf
of his mother” (p.116). Taking on the role of another adult in the family is another added stressor
of growing up in a low SES home. It should also be noted of Horace that he is described as a
fighter, both physically and verbally, which gets him into trouble at school. Like Erica, living in
a low SES home and community has negatively impacted his brain development as well as his
cognitive and linguistic abilities. This, in turn, rendered him less socially and academically
prepared for school and the real world.
An unfortunate byproduct of income inequalities is that entire communities are
segregated by SES. This means that often entire neighborhood or community school districts are
comprised of students from one SES level; schools in low SES neighborhoods tend to be the
lowest performing. Conversely, more affluent areas have higher performing schools. While this
benefits children raised in middle and high SES families, as seen with Harold in The Social
Animal, this is a detriment to children of low SES homes. Harold’s middle SES school provided

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him with an environment consistent with his upbringing; he was talked to and engaged so that he
could excel academically; students were raised to verbally express their internal states so the
social environment of the school was nonthreatening and pleasant (Brooks, 2011, p.72-78). Low
SES communities, like Erica’s, also have schools that are consistent with the upbringings of their
student populations. These schools have concentrated student populations that are below grade
level and students with behavior issues; many of the students in these low SES schools have
stronger limbic responses and weaker self-control. Because of this, students first resort to verbal
and physical fighting as a means to express their emotional states.
In low SES schools there are entire rooms devoted to behavior regulation and
punishment, as Ferguson describes in Bad Boys. She perfectly encapsulates the socioeconomic
factors influencing parenting that leads many low SES children to disciplinary action:
Children bring parents, grandparents, and guardians into the room as the come for
punishment. They come with the baggage of family knowledge and history, warnings,
daily practices, family admonitions about how to handle oneself in the face of
confrontations with authority. And they especially bring all the mannerisms of speech,
laughter, and emotional expressions that echo in the household (Ferguson, 2001, p.42).
Adults in schools punish students based on the assumptions that all children, no matter their SES,
are raised the same. School staff believe that all students arrive to school knowing how to
verbalize their emotions and understand that fighting, for any reason, is wrong, when in fact this
is not the case. Instead of teaching these social skills to the low SES students who need them,
school staff often perpetuate their social underdevelopment through punishment.

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Additionally, low SES school districts frequently do not support the academic
development of the student populations they serve. As previously mentioned, behavior problems
are frequent issues and suspensions often keep many students out of class. This makes teaching
in a low SES school challenging for teachers. There are teachers in these schools who cannot or
will not recognize that low SES children come to school with a different set of social and
academic preparedness than middle and high SES children. These teachers are advocates for
zero-tolerance policies and actively reject discussions of inequality (Duncan-Andrade, 2007,
p.622). These teachers do not support the social and academic development of students; they
perpetuate the current system. There are also teachers who cling to the relationships that they
have with students as they feel their confidence and ability to be an effective educator
disintegrate around them (Duncan-Andrade, 2007, p.622). These teachers tend to leave the
profession because they are exhausted by the emotional demands. High turnover rates are
common in low SES school districts for this reason and it only serves continue the turbulence
and inconsistency in academic development in these schools. While there are plenty of teachers
ill-suited to support the academic and social development of low SES children, there are a few
who are perfect for the task. These teachers are willing to “risk deep emotional involvement with
the great majority of their students” and it is that depth that “allows them to challenge students
and get notable effort and achievement” (Duncan-Andrade, 2007, p.623). These teachers support
the academic and social development of their students because they recognize the inequality in
the school structure and therefore often work outside of it to help their students overcome the
problems specific to low SES students (Duncan-Andrade, 2007, p.623).
The SES that a child is born into has lifelong impacts. Children of low SES parents
receive less cognitive stimulation than their peers in middle and high SES homes. As

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demonstrated in several language studies, this difference leads to significant gaps in academic
and social development. Psychological stress has negative impacts on brain development.
Therefore, children raised in low SES homes, where environmental stressors are more prevalent,
have less developed prefrontal cortexes and are unable to control their impulses as well as higher
SES children. The result of this difference is seen in high discipline rates for low SES children,
where children are punished by school staff for their lack of social and academic preparedness.
Schools are also segregated by SES, which only compounds the obstacles facing low SES
students because many of their teachers are poorly equipped to support their academic and social
development. All of these factors link family SES to the future success of an individual and
make SES a strong predictor of life outcomes.

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References
Brooks, D. (2011). The social animal. New York, NY: Random House Trade Paperbacks.
Davies, D. (2011). Middle childhood development. Child Development: A Practitioner's Guide.
3rd edition. London:The Guilford Press.
Duncan-Andrade, J. (2007). Gangstas, wanksters, and ridas: Defining, developing, and
supporting effective teachers in urban schools. International Journal of Qualitative
Studies in Education. 26, (6), 617-638.
Farah, M., Noble, K., & Hurt, H. (2010). Poverty, privilege and brain development: Empirical
findings and ethical considerations. Paper presented at the Learning and the Brain
Conference, MIT, November.
Ferguson, A. (2001). Bad boys: the role of public schools in the making of black masculinity.
Ann Arbor, MI: The University of Michigan Press.
Kegan, R. (1994). In over our heads : The mental demands of modern life. Cambridge, MA:
Harvard University Press.
Steinberg, L. (2014). From the age of opportunity: lessons from the new science of adolescence.
Boston, MA: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.