The Development Of Self-Discipline In Children (10)
The Development Of Self-Discipline In ChildrenThe Young Child is continually withheld from many of his desires by physical limitations. We usebaby entrance, fences, locks on doors and cabinets (restricted places ), cribs, playpens, leashes, andbrief commands ("NO!" "yes !"). We carefully watch the young child; monitoring what he sees, wherehe will go, and with whom he affiliates. These barriers are primarily for the purpose of protecting thechild through himself - from his own desire to seek his own will prior to an age whenever he hasknowledge, self-discipline, a fear of the Lord, or help from the Holy Spirit to avoid that which isharmful to him.The School-Age Child continues to be in bondage under the elements of the world. Gal. 4:3Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child. Prov. 22 :15a Having foolishness in the heart, he is likelyto behave the part of a fool - a fool hath no enjoy understanding, but that his heart may discover itself. Prov. 18:2 he constantly desires to venture into the "department store" of the flesh. NOthing is moredangerous than allowing a child to "discover themself " at this age. The coronary heart is deceitfulabove all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? Jer. Seventeen :9 Being at the beginningof his "formal training" in self-discipline, he is relatively helpless at controlling his own desires; and thefleshly nature is regarded as a fascinating friend rather than seen to contain no good thing. Rom. 7:18As a parent, you must safeguard him from his own worst enemy - his flesh, and two other predatoryopponents -- the world and the demon. Childhood is the time to train your son or daughter inpreparation for a life of self-denial (Mt. 16:24). As parents, you must become an external boundarythat restricts the fleshly nature of the kid until the time that he has established inner boundaries andhas internal help from the Lord. The outside obstacles must remain well past the crib-stage; theobstacles now becoming more directed at the actual speech and actions (that arise from thethoughts). Growing up gets older, curiosity about the external world and his bodys desires increases,and the pull of the inner fleshly nature becomes more demanding.There is each and every indication in the Bible which God expects total mental (2 Cor. 10:five ) andphysical (1 Cor. 9:27a) self-discipline; the type of discipline that leads one to existing his body as aliving sacrifice (Rom. 12:one ) and to take a determined are a symbol of Jesus Christ (as did Daniel,Jeremiah, Nehemiah, Moses, Paul, Christian martyrs (Heb. 11:32-38), etc.).The traditional school setting offers some advantages, although in many Christian schools thedrawbacks (peer influence, poor discipline, poor spiritual environment, and so on.) outweigh theadvantages. The advantages are the ones that greatly help to construct mental and physical self-discipline, and should end up being seriously considered by homeschool parents. Self-discipline in aschool is learned through:1. The necessity of planning ahead to provide books, homework, long-term projects, etc. To schoolcomplete as well as on time.2. The hold off of the physical gratification/needs of walking about, bathroom split, water, etc.3. The delay of the physical satisfaction of eating (only from lunch).4. The denial of the desire to speak in order to concentrate on work.
5. The actual denial of the desire to talk so as to help others work.6. The delay of the desire to speak to cooperate during group work.7. Assignments totally dictated by the instructor.8. The denial associated with comfort to ones body (sitting upright on hard chairs).9. A clean work environment (versus. Clutter, toys available, etc.).10. A day scheduled in to definite, fixed time slots with limited time in between classes.The Teenage Years Rules - the outward barriers to speech and behavior, should, by the adolescentyears, have become a schoolmaster to bring [your child] unto Christ (Gal. 3:twenty-four ); not only inthe sense associated with Salvation secured, but visiting Jesus Christ for help with self-discipline.Correction from their parents has, by this time, taught him that he is a sinner in need of Jesus Christto save him from eternal death in Hell. Prov. Twenty three :13,14 Later in the teenage years, he hasrealized that outward control (still some barriers and self-discipline, but much more guidance)combined with his own emerging self-discipline nevertheless fails to keep his flesh under control. Hemust eventually notice that by himself he cannot "hang on" and do right - especially in regard in orderto emotions and sexual desires. He is coming to the understanding of for I know that within me (thatis, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for in order to will is present with me; but how to perform thatwhich is good we find not. Romans seven :18Trust in his parents to assist "keep" him controlled in speech, thoughts, and measures must now bedirected toward one who is able to help from within their heart. If, having achieved this during theteenage years, he can now say i will do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Phil. 4:13For thou hast been a shelter for me, and a strong tower in the enemy. Psalms 61:three The LORD ismy strength and my shield ; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped : therefore my heart significantlyrejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him. Psalms 28:7 As he as soon as trusted in his parents, anadolescent should now place their trust in the Lord. Fear thou not; for I am along with thee: be notdismayed; for I am thy god : I will strengthen thee; yes, I will help thee; yes,I will uphold thee using theright hand of my personal righteousness. Isaiah 41:10Training in Self-DisciplineYour child "trusts in [his parents] with all of [his] heart; and [must not] lean not unto [his] ownunderstanding." Prov. 3:5 As a parent, you are his guide, his protector (from the world, their flesh, andthe devil), and his external barrier to that that he desires to do that might develop poor habits as wellas, consequently, poor character. Unlearned and not foreseeing the future, a young child generallylives for these days as a slave to his flesh. Parents must constantly be alert for possibilities to directthe mind toward an organized, Biblically-based, inner control of ideas, speech, and actions.Outward Discipline to Establish Inner Thoughts1. Protect your child from a knowledge of sin. I would have you wise unto that which is good, andsimple concerning evil. Romans 16:192. Protect your son or daughter from excessive thoughts about or interest in the things of thisglobe. And truly, if they have been mindful of that country through whence they came out, they mayhave had opportunity to have returned. Hebrews 11:15 Keep thy heart with all diligence ; for out of it
are the problems of life. Prov. 4 :23 "Keeping" a kids heart is the parents responsibility !3. Reconstruct verbalized ideas when they reflect desires of the flesh. For as he thinketh in hisheart, same with he. Prov. Twenty three :74. Indoctrinate in the Scriptural basis and practical application of self-discipline. Deut. 6:6,7 Is.30:20,215. Point out good examples leading to success and failure - from the holy bible and from life. Nowall these things happened unto them for ensamples: and they are written for our admonition, on whomthe ends of the world are come. 1 Cor. 10:11 1 kings 1:5,6 judges 14:3Mental Self-Discipline1. Expect mental effort - considering, reasoning; and memorization of verses, facts from subjects,poems, songs, etc. Your childs education should always have a measure of difficulty. Fun in traininghas its place, but persistent work should be the main exercise. Thou therefore endure solidity, as agood soldier associated with Jesus Christ. 2 Timothy 2:3 Good training, by necessity, will involveconflict with the fleshly nature of the child.2. Train your child to be subservient to anothers will, while at the same time training him to becautious about selecting people to follow (strangers, etc.). Obey them that have the actual rule overyou, as well as submit yourselves. Heb. 13:17a Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary thedevil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, looking for whom he may devour. One Peter 5:83. Train your child to have a pleasant attitude in all things. Work as diligently on attitude as youdo on the training of physical discipline. Then this Daniel was preferred above the actual presidentsand princes, because an excellent spirit was in him. Dan 6:3a And Jesus increased in knowledge andstature, and in favor with God and man. (He was 12 at that time.) Luke 2:52Physical Self-Discipline1. Erect firm, consistent barriers to unwanted actions. NEed desired actions when told the firsttime! It is poor instruction to allow your child the "enjoyable sin" of delayed behavior training (callingseveral times, counting to ten, etc.). Ep. 6:22. Impose discipline for repeated infractions and encouragement for success (without inflating self-esteem). Ec. 8:113. Indoctrinate in the Biblical basis for physical self-discipline and teach the practical application ofphysical self-discipline. 1 Cor.9:27The Urgent TaskThe time is short, and the times are evil! Ep. Five :16 You have a brief opportunity (which is sharplyreduced at the arrival of the teenage years ) to instill the psychological "operating system" that willguide your child for a lifetime. There is no time to "appreciate " the antics of a child with little self-discipline. Should you laugh and think that juniors undisciplined habits are "cute," a person and hewill pay a dear price - a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. Prov. 29:15 a young child isnot an adult, nor may he be expected to have the self-discipline of an adult, but years as a child is thetime to train the future grownup. View all training because preparation for future support for the Lord.Train a child to become a useful servant from the Lord- strong in faith and in character! This is the
parents responsibility, and is not to be assigned to the church or a religious school. Homeschoolparents possess a great advantage in character creating, but many, due to weariness or evenperceived inability, are ignoring character building while focusing on child-centered academics.It will be difficult to place a hurdle around your childs fleshly nature. Each child will be different; manywill put up more of a "battle " in defense of fleshly desires. Those who do tend to be, perhaps, beingprepared for a more difficult life of service for the Lord. Do not fail these types of children in theirpreparation by using excuses (hyperactivity, physical handicap, middle child, etc.).A constant example must be arranged by the "trainers." While you might desire to let down yourguard as well as indulge in poor character, always remember that you must be able to say be yefollowers of me personally, even as I also am of Christ. 1 Cor. 11 :1Training children in self-discipline takes much repetition of teaching and consistency in modificationand discipline. Train up a child in the way he should go : and when he is old, hell not depart from it.Prov. 22:6 the rewards of careful work to character building are wonderful ! The "yield" is thepeaceable fruit of righteousness! Heb. 12:11 youll be able to produce a delightful teenager!General Goals1. To build an inner restraint against the wishes of the flesh - by giving consistent outer restraintsand expecting habitual conformity. But I keep under my body system, and bring it into subjection. 1Cor. 9:27a2. To instill a fear of the Lord (which greatly reinforces inner restraint); and to train to obey asseeing him who is invisible. Heb. 11:27b Come, ye children, hearken unto me personally : I will teachyou the fear from the LORD. Ps. 34:eleven The fear of the LORD may be the beginning ofknowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction. Prov. 1:73. To encourage a total trust in the Lord for power and direction (recognizing which help withrestraint is necessary). Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine ownunderstanding. Prov. 3:5 to LORD, I know that the clear way of man is not in themself : it is not inman which walketh to direct his steps. Jer. 10:23Specific GoalsSelf-Discipline is needed:1. To be accountable for the use of time. 1 Peter 4:22. To learn to wait to speak. James 1 :193. To speak when shyness or fear inhibits. One Thes. 2:44. To understand to weigh thoughts carefully before speaking. Ps. Thirty four :13 Prov. 13:3 ; 21:235. To be able to carry out unpleasant tasks without stress. 2 Tim. 2:36. To be able to use the mind to memorize required material. Prov. 10:14 Ps. 119:117. To be able to endure difficult trials. James 1:2,38. To learn to perform unpleasant habits.9. To have physical self-restraint. 1 Cor. NIne :2710. To keep thyself real. 1 Tim. 2:22 Phil 4:811. To maintain rule over his own nature (emotions). Prov. 25:28
12. To complete a project through inception to completion. Ec. 10:1813. To refuse the lust of the skin (unavailable/wrong material or bodily desires). Luke 9:2314. To delay legitimate self-gratification; to be content with withheld desires. Phil. 4:11,1215 to utilize no expectation of instant reward. Gal. 6:916. To joyfully submit to an additional rather than to seek ones personal will. Ps. 40:817. To eat what is set prior to him with contentment. Phil. 4:1118. To rely upon the LORD with all thine coronary heart ; and lean not on to thine own understanding.Prov. 3:519. To refuse feelings and choose to do whats right. 1 Kings eighteen :2120. To give up a liberty so as not to offend another person. 1 Cor.8:1321. To develop mental discipline (Disciplined mind Disciplined body). 2 Cor. 10:522. To keep in work despite individual physical rebellion. Lam. 3 :2723. To be a servant instead of a master. Mt. 23:1124. To be accountable for ones individual name and family name (testimony). Prov. 22:126. To receive correction and discipline with a good attitude. Prov. Three :11; 15:1027. To cooperate with the needs associated with others - to acknowledge his needs for the benefit ofa group. Ps. 133:128. To maintain a Godly value system that directs every day decisions. Gen. 24:33 Col. 3:229. In order to submit to an unpleasant master. 1 Peter 2:1830. To build up a mental alertness. 1 Peter 5:831. To be able to refuse negative peer pressure. Ex. 23:2Daily PlanConsistent Example Be ye followers associated with me, even as I also m of Christ. 1 Cor. 11:1Consistent Teaching The proverbs of Solomon the actual son of David, full of Israel; To knowknowledge and instruction; to see the words of understanding; to get the instruction of knowledge,justice, and judgment, and equity; To give subtilty towards the simple, to the young manunderstanding and discretion. Prov. 1 :1-4Consistent Training and Maintenance Train up a child in the manner he should go: and when he isold, he will not go away from it. Prov. Twenty two :6 Because sentence towards an evil work is notreally executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil. Ec.8:eleven Withhold not correction in the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.Prov. 23:13 Wherefore I will not be negligent to put you always in remembrance of those things,though ye know them, and be established in the present truth. Yea, I think it meet, as long as I am inthis tabernacle, to stir you upward by putting you within remembrance. 2 Peter 1 :12,13Implementing GoalsFor every goal that you desire to be fulfilled in your child, make a particular, long-range plan to seeyour goal accomplished. Follow the pattern of:EXAMPLE --TEACHING--TRAINING.SAMPLE: Goal #1: self-discipline is needed to be accountable for the use of time.
Example: Be alert to time in your own life. Show a concern for your own use of time. Be on time tochapel, appointments, class, etc. Dont waste time! Ep. 5:16Teaching: Expect household jobs to become done without stopping to experience or to talk to others.Anticipate schoolwork to be done without wasting time (playing with pencils, walking around, talking,daydreaming, etc.) As your children get older (old enough to easily tell the time as well as own awatch), expect these phones be ready for church on time (without having to be told), get up on time(by using an alarm clock), plan ahead to be prepared for a specific bedtime, set the table prior to anappointed time, be in from outside perform at a certain time, etc. Teach your child the value of yourtime - how to use it wisely, how to plan ahead, and how to function to meet deadlines and agendas(long and short-range). Get him to memorize verses having to do with time, laziness, slothfulness,sluggishness, unfaithfulness, etc. (Prov. 24:38-30-34; 18:9; 26:fourteen )Training: Discipline in some way when a responsibility to a certain time is avoided, overlooked, orforgotten. Let your son or daughter know that excuses such as "we forgot" will not be accepted!discipline for wasted time when he is expected to be working (take time off from free/recess time,etc.)Maintaining Boundaries1. Physical self-discipline, when necessary. He which spareth his rod hateth his son: but he thatloveth him chasteneth him betimes. Prov. 13 :24 Foolishness is sure in the heart of a child; but thefishing rod of correction shall generate it far from him. Prov. 22:152. Withdrawing a normal privilege-a withdrawn benefit due to a failure in the obligation to do thatwhich was taught. Whenever self-discipline fails, the old character will be reinforced/encouraged-because the joys of sin were allowed without any unpleasant consequences. In the event thatunpleasant consequences are not organized by parents now, the unpleasant consequences will comewhen the child becomes an adult. (Ec. 8:11)3. Natural consequences - those unfortunate things that happen as a result of disobedience(perhaps disobedience that is not immediately discovered by a parent). RElated to God, we wouldalso refer to this as "learning the hard way-by experience." Being confident of this very thing, that hewhich hath begun a good work in you will perform it before day of Jesus Christ. Phil. 1:6 for it is Godwhich worketh in you both to will and to do of their good pleasure. Phil. Two :13Jeremiah 29