Who Are YouAgain? The BestTweets of@BDGarpA PowerPoint presentation by@FlyoverJoel to benefit the @sucittaM& Danielle Parise Medical Fund
Trend of Divorce Rates to Being Eaten by a Bear Over Time1210 8 6 Divorce Bear Attacks 4 2 0 1760 1780 1800 1820 1840 1860 1880 1900 1920 1940 1960 1980 2000 2013
Modern Love• Look, I’m not going to lie to you. Wait, that’s not true; that’s a lie, already. Sorry, everything’s a lie I guess. You look pretty though.• I’m just a boy standing in front of a girl, asking her to move so I can see the television.• I want you to feel like you can tell me anything but not actually do that.• I asked a pretty girl in a bar where she had been for nearly all my life. She said “Not born.”
It’s time we start ignoring other people. Never give up, unless you’re tired, or lazy or just really bad at stuff. First rule of thumb: Thumbs shouldn’t have rules. That just makes no fucking sense. I just saw a woman fall in the street so I asked if she wanted help or sex because I don’t know her or her hierarchy of needs.Wisdom for the Ages
Did you ever have sex so goodyou had to wake up from your dream and tell your cats?
In Conclusion• No one can take away your dignity if you don’t have any.• Sometimes you just have to grab the bull by the balls before you realize “This can’t be right.”• Some idiot just told an elevator joke ON an elevator. It was wrong on so many levels.• I just spent two hours holding the door open for an old guy at Denny’s.
The presentation was created as part of an auction to raise money for the@sucittaM & Danielle Parise Medical Care Fund.For more information, and to donate, please visit this link:Follow @BDGarp on Twitter, and/or check out the rest of his Top Tweets!You can also follow FlyoverJoel on Twitter or Facebook.“Remember the last time you dropped everything to help someone? They do.” – Brian Christopher Drury (BDGarp) 8/26/2012