1. THE EVIL OF DOWRY
In olden days giving dowry during marriages was most
common. The aristocratic class celebrated their daughter’s
marriages very grandly giving them lands, jewels, properties,
vehicles and large cash. Very rich people can afford to give
lands, houses and vehicles as dowry. the Agarwals in the
North and Reddys in Andhra Pradesh had it as their custom
to give away large landed property and jewels when they
celebrated the marriage of their daughters. Even now the
rich of these communities celebrate their daughters
marriages very grandly to the surprise and envy of their
neighbours and the people of their localities. The Maharajas
celebrated the marriages of their daughters spending
lavishly. Ordinary people wonder at the huge amount spent
on marriages and the grand feast for thousands and
thousands which include the choicest food items and
choicest liquor. Some years ago in the Gwalior Maharajah’s
family a marriage was celebrated so grandly that people all
over the country raised their eyebrows in wonder. Gifts to
the bride or dowry might have been some palatial houses,
the latest model cars, jewellery of the finest variety, silver
and gold vessels and what not? It was a display of lavishness.
Wealthy people, zamindars and the princely class
can spend on marriages as much as they wish. But what
about the average , middle class and poor people who lead a
2. hand to mouth existence? Lavish spending on marriages is
questionable when most of our people struggle to make both
ends meet. Infact the royal wedding in the north was
questioned by many public figures and it was denounced and
unreasonable.
To the common man giving dowry is very problematic. Most
of the people are employed in offices or do some petty
bussiness. In many families the earning member may be only
one. He may get low salary and may not have any savings. He
may have to marry off his daughter when he is about to
retire or after he retires. His retirement benefits may amount
to few lakhs of ruppees. If he spends most of the money on
the marriage of his one or two daughters how can he lead a
comfortable life for the rest of his life? This is the condition
of most of the families. Having spent most of the money a
person gets a person gets on retirement he suffers during his
last days. Unless he gives a sizeable amount as dowry and
spends large portion of his earning on his daughters marriage
he cannot get his daughter married. Even an educated girl
who earns well has to be give off in marriage with dowry.
unless the bridegroom’s parents are determined enough not
to get dowry this abhorrent social custom cannot be
abolished.
But it should be said that many bridegroom’s parents do not
insist on dowry nowadays but they stipulate a condition that
the marriage should be celebrated well. The number of
3. people attending the marriage may be large. The cost of
celebration of marriage by the Brahmins in south is generally
high as the marriage function. The rent for the marriage hall
is high. The expenses for the tiffin and dinner for three days
are high. In some communities the expenses for the marriage
are shared equally by the families of the bride and the
bridegroom. This is quiet welcome and eases the burden on
brides parentrs considerably. This practice should be adopted
by the other communities as well.
The married girl is harassed if the dowry demand is not
given in full. She is ill-treated, abused and she suffers
inwardly. If her husband is not understanding enough her
condition is pitiable and she silently weeps and regrets why
she married. There was a report in the newspaper that a girl
was married and that she and her husbands family which
included her mother-in-law and father-in-law settled in USA
as her husband got a job there. Her mother-in-law who was a
sadistic treated her daughter-in-law like a slave. She used to
inflict injuries on her body with sharp weapons and burning
matchsticks. Sometimes the pitiable girl was locked inside a
room. Once, all in the house except the girl was away. The
girl was locked in a room. By chance the relative of the girl
dropped in when she was alone. The girl narrated all the
horrible experiences to her relative and he safely took her
away to her parents. Then a case was registered against her
husbands family.
4. A well-known, young doctor harassed his wife for not giving
the promised dowry. he harassed his wife and she
complained to the police. A case was registered against the
doctor.
Even the educated, enlightened in-laws sometimes ill-treat a
married girl. In this twenty-first century this is something out
of tune with time.
In the southern districts of Madurai and Salem an
abominable practice is in vogue. It is the most sinful, female
infanticide. Poor parents who give birth to a female child kill
it in various ways just because they are unable to get her
married when she grows up. This is strange . the parents do
not want to educate the girl and simply want to put an end to
it. The female child is an unwanted thing. Female infanticide
is an age-old evil in and around Madurai and Salem. Slowly
this evil practice is done away with. The Tamil Nadu
government has brought about the “cradle baby scheme”
the “cradle baby scheme” is a boon to the parents who do
not want female children. They can leave the unwanted
female child the cradle in the health centres of the village or
town panchayats. The children will be brought up by the
government. Public awareness about the evil of female
infanticide has been created by the government. It is high
time that this evil practice was discontinued.
This is the age of feminism. Gender equation is a vital
message of our day. The constitution declares that “it is the
5. fundamental duty of all citizens to renounce practices
derogatory to women.”
Giving dowry to a girl during a marriage is nothing but
underestimating her value. Marriage has sancity. Marriage is
a spritual bond. Let us give marriage the high status due to it.