Woman´S Xmast Letter
•Download as PPTX, PDF•
0 likes•1,241 views
The woman writes to Santa asking for extravagant gifts focused on her desires rather than charity or modesty. She requests unlimited credit cards, a device to automatically lose weight, a human vacuum to suck away unwanted men, and hair removal options. She also asks for gifts to help control her partner such as making his nose grow if he lies and removing his "stuff" if unfaithful. She finishes by thanking Santa and signing from "A woman...".
Report
Share
Report
Share
Recommended
Medea Letters 800 Original
Medea writes Jason a letter accusing him of betraying her and leaving her with nothing after she helped him complete heroic quests like retrieving the Golden Fleece. She details how she killed her own brother and King Pelias to help Jason, only for him to abandon her and their children. Jason responds angrily, denying that he needed Medea's help for anything and claiming she chose to commit evil acts on her own. He says he was leaving only her, not their children, but Medea killed the children out of revenge. Jason calls Medea a disgrace and the real reason he left was because she is a horrible, crazy witch.
The Atheist
An atheist is walking through the forest admiring nature's beauty when he is startled by a noise and sees a bear chasing him. He runs as fast as he can but trips and the bear catches up to him. As the bear is about to attack, time stops and a bright light with a voice from heaven appears. The voice questions why it should help the atheist who has denied its existence. The atheist admits he would be insincere to ask for help as a Catholic but asks if the bear could be turned Catholic instead. The voice agrees and when time resumes, the bear stops, bows its head and says a prayer before continuing its hunt.
Hack a1-tutorial-quiz
This document provides an overview of PowerPoint basics for teaching students. It discusses introducing key PowerPoint terms and vocabulary to students through a live demonstration and worksheet. It recommends teaching the four main toolbars one at a time to prevent students from clicking every button, and to provide a systematic way of introducing features. It notes that the Office Assistant may not be beneficial for all students depending on their ability to read help files and if there is enough class time. It includes a five question true/false quiz to test knowledge of topics like docking toolbars, formatting toolbar functions, accessing the Office Assistant, transitions, and the name of the animated help system.
Woman´S Xmast Letter
The woman writes to Santa asking for extravagant gifts focused on her desires rather than charity or modesty. She requests unlimited credit cards, a device to automatically lose weight, a human vacuum to suck away unwanted men, and hair removal options. She also asks for gifts to help control her partner such as making his nose grow if he lies and removing his "stuff" if unfaithful. She finishes by thanking Santa and signing from "A woman...".
Digital Era
The document appears to be a collection of nonsensical or technically inaccurate statements about technology and family relationships. It references changing a name to a DVD format, downloading children from the internet, getting computer codes tattooed on toes, and using various technologies like fax, email, videotapes, and CD roms in infeasible ways. Medical conditions are also described as being treated with photo editing software. Overall the document seems to parody how some individuals misuse or misunderstand technology.
The New Generation
A new generation is emerging that is ready and willing to take on leadership roles at a young age, as they are not hesitant to learn, know how to have fun and push themselves, and have ambitions to aim far despite any challenges. This document hints that the new generation may see previous generations differently.
The Atheist
An atheist is walking through the forest admiring nature's beauty when he is startled by a noise and sees a bear chasing him. He runs as fast as he can but trips and falls, with the bear catching up to him. In a moment of fear, the atheist begins praying to God for help. A bright light and voice from heaven question whether the atheist truly has faith after denying God's existence. The atheist asks if God could turn the bear Catholic instead of helping him. God agrees and turns the situation back to normal, with the bear pausing before eating the atheist to say a prayer.
Recommended
Medea Letters 800 Original
Medea writes Jason a letter accusing him of betraying her and leaving her with nothing after she helped him complete heroic quests like retrieving the Golden Fleece. She details how she killed her own brother and King Pelias to help Jason, only for him to abandon her and their children. Jason responds angrily, denying that he needed Medea's help for anything and claiming she chose to commit evil acts on her own. He says he was leaving only her, not their children, but Medea killed the children out of revenge. Jason calls Medea a disgrace and the real reason he left was because she is a horrible, crazy witch.
The Atheist
An atheist is walking through the forest admiring nature's beauty when he is startled by a noise and sees a bear chasing him. He runs as fast as he can but trips and the bear catches up to him. As the bear is about to attack, time stops and a bright light with a voice from heaven appears. The voice questions why it should help the atheist who has denied its existence. The atheist admits he would be insincere to ask for help as a Catholic but asks if the bear could be turned Catholic instead. The voice agrees and when time resumes, the bear stops, bows its head and says a prayer before continuing its hunt.
Hack a1-tutorial-quiz
This document provides an overview of PowerPoint basics for teaching students. It discusses introducing key PowerPoint terms and vocabulary to students through a live demonstration and worksheet. It recommends teaching the four main toolbars one at a time to prevent students from clicking every button, and to provide a systematic way of introducing features. It notes that the Office Assistant may not be beneficial for all students depending on their ability to read help files and if there is enough class time. It includes a five question true/false quiz to test knowledge of topics like docking toolbars, formatting toolbar functions, accessing the Office Assistant, transitions, and the name of the animated help system.
Woman´S Xmast Letter
The woman writes to Santa asking for extravagant gifts focused on her desires rather than charity or modesty. She requests unlimited credit cards, a device to automatically lose weight, a human vacuum to suck away unwanted men, and hair removal options. She also asks for gifts to help control her partner such as making his nose grow if he lies and removing his "stuff" if unfaithful. She finishes by thanking Santa and signing from "A woman...".
Digital Era
The document appears to be a collection of nonsensical or technically inaccurate statements about technology and family relationships. It references changing a name to a DVD format, downloading children from the internet, getting computer codes tattooed on toes, and using various technologies like fax, email, videotapes, and CD roms in infeasible ways. Medical conditions are also described as being treated with photo editing software. Overall the document seems to parody how some individuals misuse or misunderstand technology.
The New Generation
A new generation is emerging that is ready and willing to take on leadership roles at a young age, as they are not hesitant to learn, know how to have fun and push themselves, and have ambitions to aim far despite any challenges. This document hints that the new generation may see previous generations differently.
The Atheist
An atheist is walking through the forest admiring nature's beauty when he is startled by a noise and sees a bear chasing him. He runs as fast as he can but trips and falls, with the bear catching up to him. In a moment of fear, the atheist begins praying to God for help. A bright light and voice from heaven question whether the atheist truly has faith after denying God's existence. The atheist asks if God could turn the bear Catholic instead of helping him. God agrees and turns the situation back to normal, with the bear pausing before eating the atheist to say a prayer.
The Atheist
An atheist is walking through the forest admiring nature's beauty when he is startled by a noise and sees a bear chasing him. He runs as fast as he can but trips and the bear catches up to him. As the bear is about to attack, time stops and a bright light with a voice from heaven appears. The voice questions why it should help the atheist who has denied its existence. The atheist admits he would be insincere to ask for help as a Catholic but asks if the bear could be turned Catholic instead. The voice agrees and when time resumes, the bear stops, bows its head and says a prayer before continuing its hunt.
lavirgendeguadalupe
El documento resume varios descubrimientos científicos realizados en la Tilma de la Virgen de Guadalupe, incluyendo que sus ojos, temperatura y latidos muestran signos de vida, no hay rastros de pintura, los colores flotan sobre la tela, ha sobrevivido incorrupta por siglos y sanado daños milagrosamente, y contiene imágenes diminutas imposibles de pintar. También explica el significado de "Guadalupe" y las señales en la imagen de la Virgen que cumplen profecías
X Century Values
El documento habla sobre los valores del siglo XXI. Agradece a Arturo por algo. No proporciona más detalles sobre el tema o propósito del documento.
Marriage
The document discusses a relationship where a couple spends time together shopping, chooses entertainment democratically, communicates openly by telling each other what they need to, and cares for each other by handing items to the other when they arrive home from work or thinking about the other all the time. They also take baths together and the partner works overtime while the other waits for them to get home.
software-wife-1.0
The user upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and has experienced issues. Wife 1.0 installed permanently and monitors all activities, preventing the use of other programs. A hidden program, Mother in Law 1.0 also runs, interfering with Wife 1.0. It is not possible to uninstall Wife 1.0 or return to Girlfriend 7.0. The response recommends installing complementary programs like Flowers 5.0 or Jewelry 2.3 to improve the Wife 1.0 system instead of risky alternatives like Celibacy 1.0 or Gay 5.3.
Judas
Jesus and his disciples were debating drug problems and decided to send the disciples around the world to find samples of different drugs. The disciples returned one by one with various drugs like cocaine, crack, heroin, amphetamines, LSD, and others. However, Judas returned with the FBI, who arrested Jesus and the disciples for drug possession.
Digital Era
The document appears to be a collection of nonsensical or technically inaccurate statements about technology and family relationships. It references changing a name to a DVD format, downloading children from the internet, getting computer codes tattooed on toes, and using various technologies like fax, email, videotapes, and CD roms in infeasible ways. Medical conditions are also described as being treated with photo editing software. Overall the document seems to parody how some individuals misuse or misunderstand technology.
More Related Content
More from mauroto
The Atheist
An atheist is walking through the forest admiring nature's beauty when he is startled by a noise and sees a bear chasing him. He runs as fast as he can but trips and the bear catches up to him. As the bear is about to attack, time stops and a bright light with a voice from heaven appears. The voice questions why it should help the atheist who has denied its existence. The atheist admits he would be insincere to ask for help as a Catholic but asks if the bear could be turned Catholic instead. The voice agrees and when time resumes, the bear stops, bows its head and says a prayer before continuing its hunt.
lavirgendeguadalupe
El documento resume varios descubrimientos científicos realizados en la Tilma de la Virgen de Guadalupe, incluyendo que sus ojos, temperatura y latidos muestran signos de vida, no hay rastros de pintura, los colores flotan sobre la tela, ha sobrevivido incorrupta por siglos y sanado daños milagrosamente, y contiene imágenes diminutas imposibles de pintar. También explica el significado de "Guadalupe" y las señales en la imagen de la Virgen que cumplen profecías
X Century Values
El documento habla sobre los valores del siglo XXI. Agradece a Arturo por algo. No proporciona más detalles sobre el tema o propósito del documento.
Marriage
The document discusses a relationship where a couple spends time together shopping, chooses entertainment democratically, communicates openly by telling each other what they need to, and cares for each other by handing items to the other when they arrive home from work or thinking about the other all the time. They also take baths together and the partner works overtime while the other waits for them to get home.
software-wife-1.0
The user upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and has experienced issues. Wife 1.0 installed permanently and monitors all activities, preventing the use of other programs. A hidden program, Mother in Law 1.0 also runs, interfering with Wife 1.0. It is not possible to uninstall Wife 1.0 or return to Girlfriend 7.0. The response recommends installing complementary programs like Flowers 5.0 or Jewelry 2.3 to improve the Wife 1.0 system instead of risky alternatives like Celibacy 1.0 or Gay 5.3.
Judas
Jesus and his disciples were debating drug problems and decided to send the disciples around the world to find samples of different drugs. The disciples returned one by one with various drugs like cocaine, crack, heroin, amphetamines, LSD, and others. However, Judas returned with the FBI, who arrested Jesus and the disciples for drug possession.
Digital Era
The document appears to be a collection of nonsensical or technically inaccurate statements about technology and family relationships. It references changing a name to a DVD format, downloading children from the internet, getting computer codes tattooed on toes, and using various technologies like fax, email, videotapes, and CD roms in infeasible ways. Medical conditions are also described as being treated with photo editing software. Overall the document seems to parody how some individuals misuse or misunderstand technology.
More from mauroto (11)
Woman´S Xmast Letter
- 1. My dear"Santa": I betyouwonderwhyI´mwriting my xmastletter so soon, but I wantyoutohaveplenty of time This time I don´thavetheslighestintentiontobehumble, I don´twanttothinkabouttheothers and aboutcharity. I´maskingforeverythingthat I do want ´cause I´mfed up withlittlethings. So, here I gowith my list, and I´m quite suremanywomen are askingforthesamethings. So bereadyand bepreparedformassiveproduction.
- 2. I wish no limitonthecreditcards and a specialcodefor shopping alwaysavailable. I do want a real man, I mean itSanta, do notbringimitations! NO PIRACY. I want a device in my belly, whenever I getfat, itwillget me back in shape “automatically” .
- 3. Give me a humanvacuum, whenever a badguy try tomake a badmoveon me, he willbesuckedinmediatelly. I don´twanttowax my bodyagain, neverever !; eitherway; hairypartsbecometrendyorjustgetrid of themforever!
- 5. My husband, my boyfriend, my lover, my couple, whatever he mightbe… has toguesswhat I want, what I need, what I wish.
- 6. He needstoknowhowtoactwhenI´mdown, whenI´msensitive. He needstoknowhowtoact in front of my family.
- 8. Whenever a guy try totell a lie ortobeunfaithful, I want a microchip insidehimtomakehisnosebiggeran as a light bulb, and also I wanthimwithouthisstuff. If he tries tobeunfaithful, I´llhavethepowertomakehimlackerectionsfor as long as I wish.
- 9. Anautomaticpomptoinflate my boobs, fenny, legs, everything, dependingontheoccasion. Flat abdominalsforever. THAAAAAAANKS A LOOOOT! MY DEAR SANTA ! Seeyouonxmast, itdoesn´tmatterifit can bebefore!
- 10. Lots of love, A woman...