This document provides strategies for preventing child sexual abuse. It advises parents to directly ask school administrators twice a year if there have been any allegations of sexual misconduct against teachers to force transparency. It also recommends minimizing one-on-one time between children and authority figures like teachers, coaches, and clergy, as sexual predators often gain victims' trust in small groups or alone. The document warns that many mandated reporters will fail to report abuse allegations and may assist abusers to avoid legal consequences.

1. Direct Action. Security, Domestic abuse prevention, Child sexual abuse prevention
Los Angeles, CA.
“Trust me... Professionals are working on this issue.”
In my life I’ve never heard those words uttered with sincerity by anyone who I could
actually trust. Simply put, trustworthy people seldom find the need to ask or direct
people to trust them. In the world of child sexual abuse prevention and pedophile
reporting I hear these words or words to the same effect quite frequently and I
cringe each time. Trust me.
When I speak with parent groups on pedophile prevention and reporting strategies I
will often mention to them that I will never ask them to trust me and I will never ask
them to believe me. I want every parent to be well informed enough on this subject
that trust is not a primary factor in their daily decision making and in fact I tell them
very clearly, “never trust that school administrators, teachers, clergy or friends will
protect their children. Never!”
Marlborough school for girls is one of the most highly respected schools for girls in
the country. My stepdaughter graduated from Marlborough just this past year and
she is now making her way through her freshman year in college. Her educational
and social experience at Marlborough was truly wonderful and I wish that type of
experience for every child during those high school years. Not everyone had her
wonderful experiences at Marlborough.
Marlborough, as prestigious a school as it is and as wonderful as my stepdaughters
educational experience was still knowingly left teacher(s) in place who were
reported on several occasions for alleged sexual misconduct. At each event that I
would attend at the school I would listen to the headmistress say, “We don’t want
our girls to have equal opportunity, we want them to have EVERY opportunity”.
These worlds to someone like me; a father, a veteran and a citizen solider in the field
of domestic violence prevention and child sexual abuse prevention was music to my
ears. I found that music to be so appealing that I broke my own guideline on what
questions to ask your school administrators and teachers every year.
In my work experience I find the most disturbing aspect of child sexual abuse to be
not the pedophile themselves but the people who become complicit by hiding or
protecting the pedophile to avoid embarrassment, discomfort and potential legal
action. Remember that administrators, faculty and staff are what we call mandated
reporters, which very simply means that it is illegal for them NOT to report any
allegation of sexual misconduct towards a minor and yet the failure to report by
mandated reporters, clergy, parent, psychiatrists and psychologists happens some
where in this country every single day on a scale that almost too heartbreaking to
contemplate. I have worked on cases where I have found almost a dozen parents,
two teachers, one psychiatrist and two therapists to be complicit in keeping safe the
identity of the perpetrator who repeatedly molested almost a dozen of their 8-16
year old family members and the children of their close friends. Hard to believe I
know but it happens every single hour and every single day in this country.

2. Direct Action. Security, Domestic abuse prevention, Child sexual abuse prevention
Los Angeles, CA.
OK enough background. I think you get the message. Child sexual abuse
perpetrators are easy to find IF family, friends and co-workers were not helping
them directly. I’m never very popular when I have this discussion because part of us
still wants to believe that Pedophiles are people we don’t know when in truth 90%
of the time they are people we know very well and we often admire or even love
them as professionals, friends and family members. Below I will list several steps to
take to help train your school administrators, clergy, troop leaders, coaches and
teachers to do the right and legal thing if there are allegations of sexual misconduct
in their professional peer group.
1. Ask your schools administrators twice each school year if there have been
ANY allegations of sexual misconduct against any teacher or administrator in
the school. Make them lie repeatedly to the exact same question.
Believe it or not this method actually works because when 50 parents per year ask
the administrators, principals, vice principals and teachers if there are allegations of
sexual misconduct in their peer group it trains the administrators to really go the
extra mile to cover up the allegations or it trains them to report allegations
immediately and openly and to eliminate perpetrators from their schools as rapidly
as possibly if in fact they are trying to cover the allegations up and not be caught.
Statistical data tells us that over 50% and up to 80% of authority figures in schools,
families, religious institutions and organizations will cover up sexual misconduct
indefinitely so never believe that your children’s school, troop, institution or
association will not do the same. I have seen this time and time again. Do NOT
EVER believe that your school will represent your child in the case of sexual abuse.
There are many folks who will but statistically many administrators will not only fail
to represent the child victim but they will literally assist the perpetrator by covering
for them repeatedly or helping them find a new job at another school. This is a fact!
2. Be very aware of which teacher, clergy member, organization leader, mentor
or coach is spending one on one time or small group time with your children.
Folks no matter how careful we all are as parents an unreported sexual predator
will find and create a new victim somehow and it is not your fault that they do but
so many victims of child sexual abuse can be spared if we as parents and caregivers
simply minimize access to potential pedophiles. There is little to no reason for your
child to ever be alone repeatedly with a teacher, clergy member or coach. That said,
most teachers, coaches and humans in general ARE NOT pedophiles but the ones
who are do a tremendous amount of damage in a very short amount of time. Sexual
predators are what I like to call the loud minority as opposed to the silent majority
because the damage that is done to these kids will echo through the generations that
follow.
I am fond of saying that in one hour of talking to people at a social gathering I can
learn, locate and verify 5 active but unreported sexual predators. The challenge lies
in getting past the coworkers and family members who covered for them.