1. Peter Piperpickeda peckofpickled
peppers
A peck of pickledpeppers Peter Piper
picked.
If Peter Piper picked a peck ofpickled
peppers,
Where's thepeck ofpickled peppers
Peter Piperpicked?
I saw Susiesitting in a shoeshineshop.
Where shesits sheshines, andwhere
she shines shesits.
How many boards
Could the Mongols hoard
If the Mongol hordes got bored?
from the comicCalvin &Hobbes,by
Bill Waterson
How can a clamcramin a clean cream
can?
Send toast to tentense stout saints'
ten talltents.
Denisesees the fleece,
Denisesees the fleas.
At least Denise could sneeze
and feed and freezethefleas.
Coy knows pseudonoisecodes.
Sheena leads, Sheila needs.
The thirty-threethieves thought that
they thrilled the throne throughout
Thursday.
Something in a thirty-acre thermal
thicket of thorns and thistles thumped
and thundered threatening thethree-
D thoughts of Matthewthethug -
although,theatrically, itwas only the
thirteen-thousandthistles and thorns
through the underneathofhis thigh
that the thirty yearoldthug thought of
that morning.
Can you can a can as a canner can can
a can?
Seth at Sainsbury's sells thick socks.
You cuss, I cuss, weallcuss, for
asparagus!
Roberta ran rings around the Roman
ruins.
Clean clams crammed in clean cans.
Six sick hicks nick six slick bricks with
picks andsticks.
I wish to wish the wish youwish to
wish, but ifyouwish thewish the
witch wishes,I won'twish the wish
you wish to wish.
Stupid superstition!
There was a fishermannamed Fisher
who fished for some fish ina fissure.
Till a fish with a grin,
pulled thefisherman in.
Now they're fishing thefissurefor
Fisher.
World WideWeb
To sit in solemn silencein a dull,dark
dock,
In a pestilentialprison, witha life-long
lock,
Awaiting thesensation ofa short,
sharp shock,
From a cheap and chippy chopper on a
big black block!
To sit in solemn silencein a dull,dark
dock,
In a pestilentialprison, witha life-long
lock,
Awaiting thesensation ofa short,
sharp shock,
From a cheap and chippy chopper on a
big black block!
A dull, dark dock, a life-long lock,
A short, sharp shock,a big blackblock!
To sit in solemn silencein a pestilential
prison,
And awaiting the sensation
From a cheap and chippy chopper on a
big black block!
Picky peoplepick Peter Pan Peanut-
Butter, 'tis thepeanut-butter picky
people pick.
ifStu chews shoes, shouldStu choose
the shoes hechews?
Luke Luck likes lakes.
Luke's duck likes lakes.
Luke Luck licks lakes.
Luck's duck licks lakes.
Duck takes licks inlakes LukeLuck
likes.
Luke Luck takes licks in lakes duck
likes.
Seventy seven benevolent elephants
harder thanit seems
There thosethousandthinkers were
thinking howdid theother three
thieves go through.
Santa's Short Suit Shrunk
I was born on a pirateship
I scream, you scream, weall scream
for icecream!
Wayne went to Wales to watch
walruses.
In 'ertford, 'ereford and 'ampshire,
'urricanes 'ardly Hever'appen.
One-one was a race horse.
Two-two was onetoo.
One-one won onerace.
Two-two won one too.
Eleven benevolentelephants
Celibate celebrant, celibate celebrant,
celibatecelebrant, ...
Willy's realrearwheel
IfPickford's packers packed a packet
ofcrisps wouldthepacket ofcrisps
that Pickford's packers packedsurvive
for two and a halfyears?
six sleek swans swam swiftly
southwards
Gobbling gorgoyles gobbled gobbling
goblins.
Did Dick Pickens prick his pinkie
pickling cheap cling peaches inan inch
ofPinch or framing his famed French
finch photos?
Pirates Private Property
What a terribletonguetwister,
what a terribletonguetwister,
what a terribletonguetwister...
2. When you write copy you havethe
right to copyrightthecopy you write.
...
A big black bug bita big black dog on
his big black nose!
Elizabeth's birthday is on the third
Thursday of this month.
Ann and Andy's anniversary is in April.
Flash message!
Frogfeet, flippers, swimfins.
Hassock hassock,black spotted
hassock. Black spoton a blackback of
a black spotted hassock.
How many cookies could a goodcook
cook If a good cook could cook
cookies?A good cookcould cook as
much cookies as a good cook who
could cook cookies.
How much groundwould a groundhog
hog, if a groundhog could hog ground?
A groundhog wouldhog alltheground
he could hog,if a groundhog couldhog
ground.
how much pot,could a potroast roast,
if a pot roast couldroast pot.
How much woodcould ChuckWoods'
woodchuck chuck, ifChuck Woods'
woodchuck could and would chuck
wood? If Chuck Woods'woodchuck
could and would chuckwood, how
much wood couldandwouldChuck
Woods'woodchuck chuck? Chuck
Woods'woodchuck wouldchuck,he
would, as much as hecould, and chuck
as much wood as any woodchuck
would, if a woodchuck couldand
would chuckwood.
Mary Mac's mother's making Mary
Mac marry me.
My mother's making memarry Mary
Mac.
Will I always besoMerry when Mary's
taking care of me?
Will I always besomerry whenI marry
Mary Mac?
Mr. Tongue Twister tried totrainhis
tongue to twistand turn, andtwit an
twat, to learn the letter "T".
55
Pete's pa pete poked to the pea patch
to pick a peck ofpeas for thepoor pink
pig in the pineholepig-pen.
56
She saw Sherif's shoes onthesofa.But
was sheso sureshesaw Sherif's shoes
on the sofa?
57
Through threecheesetrees threefree
fleas flew.
While these fleas flew, freezy breeze
blew.
Freezy breezemadethese threetrees
freeze.
Freezy trees made thesetrees'cheese
freeze.
That's whatmadethese three free
fleas sneeze.
from Fox in Sox by Dr. Seuss
58
Two tried andtruetridents
59
rudder valvereversals
the cause of someplanecrashes
60
Birdie birdieinthesky laid a turdie in
my eye.
Ifcows could flyI'd have a cowpiein
my eye.
61
How many cans can a cannibalnibble
ifa cannibalcan nibblecans?
As many cans as a cannibal cannibble
ifa cannibalcan nibblecans.
62
Thirty-threethirsty,thundering
thoroughbreds thumped Mr. Thurber
on Thursday.
63
Four furious friends foughtfor the
phone.
64
Plymouth sleuths thwart Luther's
slithering.
65
3. Bobby Bippy bought a bat.
Bobby Bippy bought a ball.
With his batBob banged the ball
Banged it bump againstthewall
But so boldly Bobby banged it
That he burst his rubber ball
"Boo!"cried Bobby
Bad luck ball
Bad luck Bobby, bad luckball
Now to drown his manytroubles
Bobby Bippy's blowing bubbles.
from mid-Willamette Valley theater
66
Black background, brown background.
67
Why do you cry, Willy?
Why do you cry?
Why, Willy?
Why, Willy?
Why, Willy? Why?
68
Very well, very well, very well...
69
Tie twine to threetreetwigs.
70
Rory the warriorand Roger the
worrier were reared wrongly in a rural
brewery.
71
Mares eat oats anddoes eat oats,
and little lambs eativy.
A Kid will eat ivytoo,wouldn't ewe?
72
Three shortswordsheaths.
73
Caution: Wide Right Turns
seen on semi-tractor trailers
74
Rolling redwagons
75
Green glass globes glow greenly.
76
Robert WayneRutter
personal name
77
I stood sadly on thesilver steps of
Burgess's fishsauceshop,mimicking
him hiccuping, and wildly welcoming
him within.
78
As I was in Arkansas I saw a saw that
could out sawany saw I eversaw saw.
Ifyou happen tobe in Arkansas and
see a saw that can out saw thesawI
saw sawI'd like tosee the saw you
saw saw.
79
black back bat
80
The queen ingreen screamed.
4. 81
How many berries coulda bareberry
carry,
if a bare berry couldcarry berries?
Well theycan't carry berries
(which couldmakeyou very wary)
but a bareberry carried is more scary!
82
What did youhave for breakfast?
- rubber balls andliquor!
What did youhave for lunch?
- rubber balls andliquor!
What did youhave for dinner?
- rubber balls andliquor!
What do you do whenyoursister
comes home?
- rubber balls andliquor!
83
Snap Crackelpop,
Snap Crackelpop,
Snap Crackelpop
84
Six slimy snails sailed silently.
85
I thought, I thought ofthinking of
thanking you.
86
Seven slick slimey snakes slowly sliding
southward.
87
Red Buick, blueBuick
88
Roofs ofmushrooms rarelymush too
much.
by Matt Duchnowski
89
He threw three balls.
90
The great Greek grape growers grow
great Greek grapes.
91
Singing Sammysung songs on sinking
sand.
92
We're realrearwheels.
93
Rhys watchedRoss switch his Irish
wristwatch for a Swiss wristwatch.
94
I wish to wash my Irishwristwatch.
95
Near an ear,a nearer ear,a nearly
eerie ear.
96
On a lazy laserraiserlies a laser ray
eraser.
97
Scissors sizzle, thistles sizzle.
5. 98
Tom threw Tim threethumbtacks.
99
How much caramel cana canny
canonballcramin a camel ifa canny
canonballcan cram caramelin a
camel?
100
He threw threefreethrows.
101
Fresh French fried flyfritters
102
Gig whip, gig whip, gig whip, ...
103
I was born on a pirateship.
Say it whileholding your tongue.
104
2 Y's U R.
2 Y's U B.
I C U R.
2 Y's 4 me!
105
Little Mikeleft his bikelike Tikeat
Spike's.
106
Eddie editedit.
107
Yellow butter, purplejelly, red jam,
black bread.
Spread it thick, say it quick!
Yellow butter, purplejelly, red jam,
black bread.
Spread it thicker, say it quicker!
Yellow butter, purplejelly, red jam,
black bread.
Don't eat with your mouthfull!
108
Wow, racewinners really want red
wine right away!
109
The ruddy widowreally wants ripe
watermelon and red roses when
winter arrives.
110
I'll chew andchew until myjaws drop.
111
Triple Dickle
a strong drink
112
How many sheets coulda sheetslitter
slit ifa sheet slittercould slit sheets?
113
Supposedto bepistachio,
supposed tobe pistachio,
supposed tobe pistachio.
by Diane Estep
114
ChesterCheetah chews a chunk of
cheep cheddarcheese.
6. from a high schoolsinging class
115
Real rock wall, real rock wall,realrock
wall
116
Argyle Gargoyle
117
Peggy Babcock, Peggy Babcock, Peggy
Babcock, ...
personal name
118
If you're keen on stunning kites and
cunning stunts,
buy a cunning stunning stuntkite.
119
Two tiny tigers taketwotaxis totown.
120
Sounding by soundis a sound method
ofsounding sounds.
by Pierre Abbat
121
Willie's reallyweary.
122
Yally Bally had a jolly golliwog. Feeling
folly, Yally Bally Boughthis jollygolli'a
dollie madeofholly!The golli', feeling
jolly, namedthehollydollie,Polly.So
Yally Bally's jolly golli's holly dollie
Polly's alsojolly!
by Mistah Twistah, TonyValuch
123
Out in the pasturethenaturewatcher
watches thecatcher.Whilethe
catcherwatches the pitcher who
pitches theballs. Whether the
temperature's up orwhetherthe
temperature's down,thenature
watcher, thecatcher and thepitcher
are always around.The pitcher
pitches, the catcher catches and the
watcherwatches.So whether the
temperature's rises or whether the
temperaturefalls thenaturewatcher
just watches thecatcher who's
watching thepitcher who's watching
the balls.
by Sharon Johnson
124
Tommy Tucker triedto tie Tammy's
Turtles tie.
125
John, wherePeter hadhad"hadhad",
had had "had";
"had had"hadhad his master's
approval.
126
Excited executionerexercising his
excising powers excessively.
127
Pail ofaleaiding ailing Al's travails.
from India
128
Double bubble gum, bubbles double.
129
Ifyou can't can any candy can,
how many candycans can a candy
canner can
ifhe can cancandycans ?
7. 130
Octopus ocular optics.
and
A cat snaps a rat's paxwax.
by Pierre Abbat
131
This is thesixthzebra snoozing
thoroughly.
132
Salty broccoli,salty broccoli, salty
broccoli ....
133
I saw Esau kissing Kate.
I saw Esau,he saw me, and shesawI
saw Esau.
134
A slimey snake slithereddownthe
sandy sahara.
135
Suzie Seaword's fish-sauceshop sells
unsifted thistles for thistle-sifters to
sift.
136
I eat eel whileyou peeleel
137
Nothing is worththousands ofdeaths.
138
Casualclothes areprovisionalfor
leisurely trips across Asia.
139
East Fife Four,Forfar Five
an actualfootball result fromthe
Scottishthird division
140
Roy Wayne
Roy Rogers
Roy Rash
personal names
141
11 was a racehorse,
22 was 12,
1111 race,
22112.
Wunwun was a racehorse, Tutu was
one too. Wunwunwon one race,Tutu
won one too.
142
It's not the cough that carries you off,
it's the coffin they carry you offin!
143
She said sheshould sit.
144
Mo mi mo me send mea toe,
Me me mo mi get mea mole,
Mo mi mo me send mea toe,
Fe me mo mi get mea mole,
Mister kister feet so sweet,
Mister kister wherewillI eat !?
145
8. Will you, William? Will you, William?
Will you, William?
Can't you, don't you, won't you,
William?
146
I wish you werea fishin mydish
147
She stood onthebalcony,inexplicably
mimicking himhiccuping, and
amicably welcoming himin.
an actor's vocalwarmup for lips and
tongue
148
The big black bug bitthebig black
bear,
but the big black bearbitthebig black
bug back!
149
Dust is a disk's worst enemy.
150
I see a sea downby theseashore.
But which sea do yousee downby the
seashore?
151
Old Mr. Hunt
had a cuddypunt
Not a cuddy punt
but a hunt punt cuddy.
152
As one black bug, bled blue, black
blood. The otherblack bug bledblue.
153
Mommy made meeatmy M&Ms.
154
I'm not the fig plucker,
nor the fig plucker's son,
but I'll pluck figs
till the fig pluckercomes.
155
A gazillion giganticgrapes gushed
gradually giving gophers gooey guts.
156
Aluminum, linoleum, molybdenum,
aluminum, linoleum, molybdenum,
aluminum, linoleum, molybdenum
157
Thin grippy thick slippery.
158
A tree toad loved a she-toad,
Who lived upin a tree.
He was a three-toedtreetoad,
But a two-toedtoadwas she.
The three-toedtree toad triedto win,
The two-toed she-toad's heart,
For the three-toedtree toadlovedthe
ground,
That the two-toed treetoad trod.
But the three-toedtree toad tried in
vain.
He couldn't pleaseher whim.
From her treetoadbower,
With her two-toed power,
The she-toad vetoedhim.
159
The owner ofthe inside inn was inside
his insideinnwith his inside outside
his insideinn.
160
9. If you notice this notice,
you will noticethatthis noticeis not
worth noticing.
161
If you understand,say "understand".
If you don't understand, say "don't
understand".
But if you understand and say "don't
understand".
how do I understand thatyou
understand. Understand!?
162
She sees cheese.
163
Brent Spence Bridge
Clay WadeBaileyBridge
places in Ohio
164
Chukotko-Kamchatkan
pertaining to theSiberian peopleliving
in Kamchatka
165
There thosethousandthinkers were
thinking
where did thoseother three thieves
go through.
166
Five franticfrogs fledfrom fifty fierce
fishes.
167
One smart fellow,he felt smart.
Two smart fellows, they felt smart.
Three smart fellows, theyfeltsmart.
Four smartfellows,they feltsmart.
Five smart fellows, they felt smart.
Six smartfellows,they feltsmart.
168
Seven sleazy shysters in sharkskin suits
sold shearedsealskins toseasick
sailors.
169
I would ifI could! ButI can't, so I
won't!
170
But a harder thing stillto do.
What a to do todietoday
At a quarteror twoto two.
A terrible difficultthing to say
But a harder thing stillto do.
The dragon will comeatthebeat of
the drum
With a rat-a-tat-tat a-tat-tata-tat-to
At a quarteror twoto twotoday,
At a quarteror twoto two.
from a college drama class
171
Love's a feeling you feelwhen youfeel
you're going to feel thefeeling you've
never felt before.
172
Silly sheep weep and sleep.
173
Truly rural,truly rural, trulyrural, ...
174
A turbot's not a burbot,for a turbot's a
butt, but a burbot's not.
10. 175
I know a boy namedTate
who dined with his girlateight eight.
I'm unable tostatewhat Tateate at
eight eight
or what Tate's têteà tête ateateight
eight.
176
The seething sea ceaseth;thus the
seething sea sufficethus.
177
Real weird rear wheels
by MichaelDworkinand Bill Harvey
178
I slit a sheet,a sheetI slit, upon a
slittedsheet I sit.
179
A pessimistic pest exists amidst us.
180
Knife and a fork bottleand a cork
that is the way youspell New York.
Chicken inthecar and the car cango,
that is the way youspell Chicago.
181
Five fuzzy French frogs Frolicked
through the fields in France.
182
Two to two to Toulouse?
183
Swatch watch
184
Dr. Johnson and Mr. Johnson,after
great consideration,cameto the
conclusionthattheIndian nation
beyond theIndian Ocean is back in
educationbecausethechief
occupationis cultivation.
185
Round and round theruggedrock the
ragged rascalran.
186
Buckets ofbug blood, buckets ofbug
blood, buckets ofbug blood
187
I'm a sock cutterandI cutsocks.
I'm a sock cutterandI cutsocks.
I'm a sock cutterandI cutsocks.
188
Ifcoloured caterpillars could change
their colours constantly couldthey
keep their coloured coatcoloured
properly?
189
We won, we won, wewon,we won, ...
190
Thirty-threethousandpeoplethink
that Thursday is theirthirtieth
birthday.
by Julia Dicum
191
11. How much groundcoulda grounghog
grind if a groundhog couldgrind
ground?
192
How may saws could a see-sawsaw if
a see-sawcould saw saws?
by Jillian Goetz
193
As he gobbledthecakes onhis plate,
the greedy apesaid as heate,
the greener greengrapes are,
the keener keen apes are
to gobble green grape cakes,
they're great!
from Dr. Seuss's O SayCanYou Say?
194
How much myrtlewould a woodturtle
hurdle if a wood turtlecould hurdle
myrtle?
A wood turtle would hurdle as much
myrtle as a wood turtlecouldhurdleif
a wood turtle could hurdle myrtle.
195
Shut up the shutters andsit inthe
shop.
196
Rattle your bottles inRollocks'van.
197
A fly and flea flewintoa flue,
said thefly to the flea 'what shallwe
do?'
'let us fly'said theflea
said thefly 'shall weflee'
so they flew through a flawin the flue.
198
How much dew does a dewdrop drop
Ifdewdrops dodropdew?
They do drop, they do
As do dewdrops drop
Ifdewdrops dodropdew.
199
IfKantie can tiea tie anduntiea tie,
why can't I tiea tie anduntiea tie like
Kantie can.
200
Bake big batches ofbitter brown
bread.
201
But she as far surpassethSycorax,
As great'st does least.
Caliban describing Miranda's beauty in
"The Tempest",by William
Shakespeare
202
Bake big batches ofbrown blueberry
bread.
203
She sits in her slipand sips Schlitz.
204
Which wristwatch is a Swiss
wristwatch?
205
Whoever slit thesheets is a good
sheet slitter.
206
Mummies make money.
12. 207
Crush grapes, grapes crush, crush
grapes.
208
An elephant was asphyxiated in the
asphalt.
209
A black bloke's backbrake-block
broke.
210
This is a zither.
211
Fresh friedfish,
Fish fresh fried,
Fried fish fresh,
Fish fried fresh.
212
There was a minimumofcinnamon in
the aluminum pan.
213
Really leery, rarely Larry.
214
Big black bugs bleed blueblack blood
but baby black bugs bleed blueblood.
215
Elizabeth has eleven elves in her elm
tree.
216
Her whole right hand really hurts.
difficult in Brazil
217
Come, come,
Stay calm, stay calm,
No need for alarm,
It only hums,
It doesn't harm.
218
Tie a knot, tiea knot.
Tie a tight, tightknot.
Tie a knot in theshapeofa nought.
219
Red blood, green blood
220
I'm a sheetslitter.
I slit sheets.
I'm the sleekest sheetslitter
that everslit sheets.
221
Busy buzzing bumblebees.
222
A lump ofred leather,a red leather
lump
223
Nat the batswatatMatt thegnat.
224
13. I shot the city sheriff.
I shot the city sheriff.
I shot the city sheriff.
225
A lady sees a pot-mender atworkat
his barrow in thestreet.
"Are you copper-bottoming 'em,
man?"
"No, I'm aluminiuming 'em, Mam."
226
I am not a pheasant plucker,
I'm a pheasant plucker's son
but I'll be plucking pheasants
When the pheasantplucker's gone.
227
Suzie, Suzie, working ina shoeshine
shop.
All day long she sits andshines,
all day long she shines and sits,
and sits and shines,and shines and
sits,
and sits and shines,and shines and
sits.
Suzie, Suzie, working ina shoeshine
shop.
Tommy, Tommy, toiling ina tailor's
shop.
All day long hefits and tucks,
all day long hetucks andfits,
and fits and tucks, andtucks andfits,
and fits and tucks, andtucks andfits.
Tommy, Tommy, toiling ina tailor's
shop.
sung by Ian Mackintosh
228
Preshrunk silkshirts.
229
Craig Quinn's quick trip toCrabtree
Creek.
230
Six shining cities, six shining cities,six
shining cities.
231
While we werewalking,we were
watching windowwashers wash
Washington's windows with warm
washing water.
232
A big black bear sat on a big black bug.
233
A bloke's bike back brakeblock broke.
234
Sweet sagacious Sally Sanders said she
sure sawseven segregatedseaplanes
sailing swiftly southwardSaturday.
235
Betty Botter bought some butterbut,
said she, thebutter's bitter.
IfI put it in my batter, itwill makemy
batter bitter.
But a bit ofbetterbutter will make my
bitter batter better.
So she boughtsome better butter,
better thanthebitter butter,
put it in her bitterbatter,madeher
bitter batter better.
So 't was better Betty Botterbought
some better butter.
236
How much oil boilcan a gum boilboil
ifa gum boil can boil oil?
237
Good blood, badblood,good blood,
bad blood,good blood, badblood.
14. 238
No nose knows likea gnome's nose
knows.
by the Hofman family
239
Freshly fried freshflesh
240
There are two minutes differencefrom
four to two to two to two,from twoto
two to two, too.
241
There once was a manwhohada
sister, his name was Mr. Fister. Mr.
Fister's sistersold sea shells by thesea
shore. Mr. Fister didn't sellsea shells,
he sold silk sheets. Mr. Fistertold his
sisterthat hesoldsix silk sheets tosix
shieks.The sister ofMr. FistersaidI
sold six shells to sixshieks too!
242
Sally sells sea shells by thesea shore.
But if Sally sells sea shells by the sea
shore then wherearethesea shells
Sally sells?
243
She stood onthesteps ofBurgess's
Fish SauceShop, mimicking him
hiccuping andamicably welcoming
him in.
244
Swan swamover thesea.
Swim, swan, swim!
Swan swamback again.
Well swumswan!
245
Sally is a sheet slitter, she slits sheets.
246
She sells sea shells on thesea shore;
The shells that shesells are sea shells
I'm sure.
So ifshe sells sea shells onthesea
shore,
I'm sure that theshells aresea shore
shells.
247
You know New York.
You need New York.
You know you needuniqueNew York.
248
What noiseannoys an oyster most?
A noisy noiseannoys anoyster most.
249
Ripe whitewheat reapers reapripe
white wheatright.
250
Blake's black bike's back brake bracket
block broke.
251
Each Easter Eddie eats eightyEaster
eggs.
252
She slits thesheetshesits on.
253
A rough-coated, dough-faced,
thoughtful ploughman strodethrough
the streets ofScarborough;after
falling into a slough, hecoughedand
hiccoughed.
254
15. A twister of twists once twisted a
twist.
and the twist thathe twistedwas a
three-twistedtwist.
now in twisting this twist,
if a twist should untwist,
would the twist that untwisted untwist
the twists?
255
Red lolly, yellowlolly.
256
Mrs Hunt had a country cutfront
in the front of her countrycut
pettycoat.
257
Knapsack strap.
258
John, whereMolly had had"had", had
had "had had". "Hadhad "hadhad the
teachers approval
259
Miss Smith's fish-sauce shopseldom
sells shellfish.
260
Great gray goats
261
Whether the weather be fine
or whether theweather benot.
Whether the weather be cold
or whether theweather behot.
We'll weather the weather
whether welike it or not.
262
Sunshinecity, sunshine city, sunshine
city, ...
263
The batterwith thebutter is the batter
that is better!
264
There's a sandwichon thesand which
was sent by a sanewitch.
265
How many yaks could a yak pack pack
ifa yak pack couldpack yaks?
266
Twelve twins twirled twelvetwigs.
267
Ifyou stick a stock ofliquorin your
locker
it is slick to sticka lock upon your stock
or some joker whois slicker
is going to trick youofyour liquor
ifyou fail to lock your liquorwith a
lock.
268
Clowns grow glowing crowns.
269
Can you imagine an imaginary
menageriemanager
imagining managing animaginary
menagerie?
270
Sister Suziesewing shirts for soldiers
Such skillas sewing shirts
Our shy young sisterSuzieshows
16. Some soldiers sendepistles
Say they'd rather sleepin thistles
Than the saucy, soft short shirts for
soldiers Sister Suziesews.
271
Red leather, yellow leather, ...
272
IF IF = THEN THEN THEN = ELSEELSE
ELSE= IF;
programming language PL/I by Bruce
Walker
273
Announcement atVictoria Station,
London:
Two to two to Tooting too!
274
Richard's wretched ratchet wrench.
275
Rugged rubberbaby buggybumpers.
276
A box of biscuits,
a box ofmixed biscuits,
and a biscuit mixer.
277
When a doctor doctors a doctor,
does the doctor doing thedoctoring
doctor as thedoctorbeing doctored
wants to bedoctored or
does the doctor doing thedoctoring
doctor as he wants to doctor?
278
What to do to dietoday at a minute or
two to two. Aterribly difficult thing to
say and a harder thing todo.Adragon
will comeand beathis drum Ra-ta-ta-
ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-too at a minute ortwo
to two today.At a minuteor twoto
two.
Who is the author?
279
Iftwo witches wouldwatch two
watches, which witch wouldwatch
which watch?
280
The soldier's shoulder surelyhurts!
281
She sees seas slapping shores.
282
A loyal warriorwill rarelyworrywhy
we rule.
by Ray Weisling
283
Greek grapes.
284
Mr. See owned a saw andMr Soar
owned a seesaw.
Now See's saw sawedSoar's seesaw
before Soar saw See.
285
Six sick sea-serpents swam theseven
seas.
286
There was a littlewitchwhich
switched fromChichester toIpswich.
17. 287
A proper cupof coffeefrom a proper
copper coffeepot.
288
Don't troubletrouble, untiltrouble
troubles you!If you troubletrouble,
triple troubletroubles you!
289
Theophilus Thadeus Thistledown, the
succesful thistle-sifter, whilesifting a
sieve-fullof unsiftedthistles, thrust
three thousand thistles through the
thick of his thumb. Now,ifTheophilus
Thadeus Thistledown, thesuccesful
thistle-sifter, thrustthreethousand
thistles throughthethick ofhis thumb,
see that thou, whilesifting a sieve-full
of unsifted thistles,thrust notthree
thousand thistles through the thick of
thy thumb.
290
Shoe section, shoesection,shoe
section, ...
291
A smart fella,a fella smart.
It takes a smart fella tosay a fella
smart.
292
She is a thistle-sifter.She has a sieve
ofunsifted thistles anda sieveof
sifted thistles and the sieveofunsifted
thistles shesifts into thesieveofsifted
thistles becausesheis a thistle-sifter.
293
Admidst themists and coldest frosts,
With stoutestwrists and loudest
boasts,
He thrusts his fists against theposts,
And still insists hesees the ghosts.
294
Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear,
Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair,
Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy,
was he?
295
Blue glue gun,green gluegun.
296
Toy boat, toy boat, toy boat, ...
297
Mallory's hourly salary.
298
I slit a sheet,a sheetI slit, and onthat
slittedsheet I sit.
299
Don't spring ontheinner-spring this
spring or therewill beanoffspring
next spring.
300
A flea anda fly ina flue,
were imprisoned. So whatcould they
do?
Said the fly, "Let us flee".
Said the flea,"Letus fly".
So they flew through a flaw intheflue.
301
King Thistle stuck a thousand thistles
in the thistle ofhis thumb.
A thousand thistles King Thistlestuck
in the thistle ofhis thumb.
IfKing Thistlestuck a thousandthistles
in the thistle ofhis thumb,
How many thistles didKing Thistle
stick in thethistleofhis thumb?
18. 302
Five fat friars frying flat fish.
303
The bottle of perfume that Willy sent
was highly displeasing toMillicent.
Her thanks wereso cold
that they quarreled, I'm told
o'er that silly scent Willy sent Millicent
304
Esau Wood sawedwood. Allthewood
Esau Wood saw, EsauWoodwould
saw. All thewood Wood saw, Esau
sought to saw.One day EsauWood's
wood-saw would sawno wood. So
Esau Wood sought a newwood-saw.
The new wood-sawwouldsaw wood.
Oh, the wood Esau Woodwould saw.
Esau soughta saw thatwould saw
wood as no other wood-sawwould
saw. And Esau found a saw thatwould
saw as noother wood-saw would saw.
And Esau Wood sawed wood.
305
A skunk sat on a stump and thunkthe
stump stunk,
but the stump thunk theskunk stunk.
306
Extinct insects'instincts,extant
insects'instincts.
by Pierre Abbat
307
Sweater weather, leatherweather.
308
One black beetlebledonly black
blood, theother black beetle bled
blue.
309
The big black bug's blood ran blue.
310
I am not the pheasantplucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's mate.
I am only plucking pheasants
'cause thepheasantplucker's late.
311
Ed Nott was shot andSamShott was
not. So it is betterto beShott than
Nott. Some say Nott was notshot.But
Shott says heshot Nott.Either the
shot Shott shotatNottwas not shot,
or Nott was shot. Iftheshot Shottshot
shot Nott, Nott was shot.But ifthe
shot Shott shotshotShott, the shot
was Shott,notNott.However,the
shot Shott shotshotnot Shott-but
Nott. So, Ed Nott was shot and that's
hot! Is it not?
312
We will learn why herlowly lone, worn
yarn loom willrarely earn immoral
money.
by Ray Weisling
313
Unique New York, unique New York,
unique NewYork, ...
314
IfDr. Seuss Werea Technical Writer.....
Here's an easygametoplay.
Here's an easything to say:
Ifa packet hits a pocketon a socketon
a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very
last resort,
And the address ofthe memory makes
your floppy disk abort,
Then the socketpacketpockethas an
error to report!
Ifyour cursor finds a menuitem
followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your
window in thetrash,
And your data is corrupted'cause the
index doesn't hash,
19. then your situation's hopeless, and
your system's gonna crash!
You can't say this? What a shame,sir!
We'll find you another game, sir.
If the labelon the cableon the tableat
your house,
Says the network is connected tothe
button on yourmouse,
But your packets want to tunnelon
another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected bythe
printer down the hall,
And your screen is alldistortedby the
side effects of gauss,
So your icons in thewindow areas
wavy as a souse,
Then you may as wellreboot and go
out with a bang,
'Cause as sureas I'm a poet, the
sucker's gonna hang!
When the copy ofyourfloppy's getting
sloppy on thedisk,
And the microcode instructions cause
unnecessary risk,
Then you haveto flash yourmemory
and you'll wantto ram your rom.
Quickly turn off thecomputer and be
sure to tell your mom!
from the Unix fortunedatabase,
attributedto DementDJ@ccip.perkin-
elmer.com intherec.humor.funny
newsgroup
315
Picky peoplepick Peter Pan Peanut
Butter.
Peter Pan Peanutis thepeanutpicky
people pick.
316
Ray Rag ran across a roughroad.
Across a rough roadRay Rag ran.
Where is theroughroad Ray Rag ran
across?
317
Elmer Arnold
personal name
318
A Tudor who tootedtheflute
tried to tutor two tooters to toot.
Said the twoto the tutor,
"Is it harder to tootor
to tutor two tooters to toot?"
319
Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut
punt.
Not a punt cut square,
Just a squarecutpunt.
It's round in the stern andblunt in the
front.
Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut
punt.
320
Tim, the thintwin tinsmith.
321
Thin sticks, thick bricks
322
Red lorry, yellow lorry.
323
A big black bug bita big black bearand
made thebig black bear bleed blood.
324
How much woodwould a woodchuck
chuck ifa woodchuck would chuck
wood? Awoodchuck wouldchuck how
much a woodchuck would chuck ifa
woodchuck would chuckwood.
325
Larry Hurley, a burly squirrelhurler,
hurled a furrysquirrel through a curly
grill.
326
20. Six twin screwedsteel steam cruisers.
327
A nurse anesthetist unearthed a nest.
328
I thought a thought.
But the thought I thought
Wasn't thethoughtI thoughtI
thought.
If the thought I thought I thought,
Had been the thought I thought,
I wouldn't havethought I thought.
329
She sells sea shells on theseashore.
The seashells she sells areseashells
she is sure.
330
From the programmer's desk:
She sells cshs by theC shore.
331
A noise annoys anoyster, but a noisy
noise annoys an oystermore!
332
Plain bun, plum bun, bun without
plum.
333
Slick slimslippers sliding south.
334
The Leith policedismisseth us
They thought wesoughtto stay;
The Leith policedismisseth us
They thought we'd stayall day.
The Leith policedismisseth us,
We both sighedsighs apiece;
And the sighs thatwe sighedas we
said goodbye
Were the sizeofthe Leithpolice.
335
Ah shucks, sixstickshifts stuck shut!
336
Meter maidMarymarriedmanly
Matthew Marcus Mayo,
a moody male mailman moving mostly
meteredmail.
337
The king would sing, about a ring that
would go ding.
338
How much doughwould BobDole dole
ifBob Dole could doledough?
Bob Dole would doleas much dough
as Bob Dolecoulddole,
ifBob Dole could doledough.
339
People pledging plenty ofpennies.
340
Mares eat oats anddoes eat oats, but
little lambs eativy.
from a pre-warEnglishmusic-hall song
341
To begin to toboggan,
first buy a toboggan.
But don't buy too big a toboggan.
Too big a toboggan is toobig a
toboggan to buy to beginto toboggan.
21. 342
Courtney Dworkin
personal name
343
Switch watch,wristwatch.
344
Six thick thistlesticks
345
Moses supposes his toeses areroses,
but Moses supposes erroneously.
For Moses, heknowses his toeses
aren't roses,
as Moses supposes his toeses to be.
Donald O'Connor andGene Kelly in
"Singing in the rain"
346
I wish I werewhat I was when I wished
I were whatI am.
347
She sells seashells on the seashore.
The seashells she sells areseashore
seashells.
348
Irish wristwatch
349
She had shoulder surgery.
350
To put a pipe inbytemode,type
PIPE_TYPE_BYTE.
from the VisualC++helpfile.
351
Three Tree Turtles
Three treeturtles tookturns talking
tongue twisters.
Ifthree treeturtles took turns talking
tongue twisters,
where's thetwisters thethreetree
turtles talked?
352
My Friend Gladys
Oh, the sadness ofher sadness when
she's sad.
Oh, the gladness ofhergladness when
she's glad.
But the sadness ofher sadness,
and the gladness ofhergladness,
Are nothing like her madness when
she's mad!
353
I would ifI could, and ifI couldn't,how
could I?
You couldn't, unless you could, could
you?
common school kids nonsense, circa
1910
354
real rear wheel
355
Give me thegift ofa grip-topsock,
A clip drapeshipshapetiptop sock.
Not your spinslick slapstick slipshod
stock,
But a plastic,elasticgrip-top sock.
None ofyour fantastic slack swapslop
From a slap dash flash cash haberdash
shop.
22. Not a knick knack knitlock knockneed
knickerbocker sock
With a mock-shot blob-mottledtrick-
ticker top clock.
Not a supersheetseersucker rucksack
sock,
Not a spot-speckled frog-freckled
cheap sheik's sock
Off a hodge-podgemoss-blotched
scotch-botchedblock.
Nothing slipshod drip drop flip flopor
glip glop
Tip me to a tip top griptopsock.
articulation warmupfor actors
356
National SheepshireSheepAssociation
357
The crow flew over theriverwith a
lump of raw liver.
358
The littleredlorry went down Limuru
road.
Limuru (Lee-moo-roo) roadis a the
name of a road inKenya.
359
Flies fly buta fly flies.
360
Did Doug dig Dick's gardenor didDick
dig Doug's garden?
by Paul Davies
361
Ifa Hottentot taught a Hottentot tot
to talk erethetotcould totter, ought
the Hottentot totbe taughtto say
ought or naughtor whatoughtto be
taught 'er?
362
How many cans can a canner canifa
canner can cancans? Acanner cancan
as many cans as a canner can ifa
canner can cancans.
363
FederalExpress is now called FedEx.
When I retire I'llbea FedEx ex.
But ifI'm an officer whenI retire, I'll
be an ex Fedex Exec.
Then after a divorce, my ex-wife will
be an ex FedExexec's ex.
IfI rejoin FedEx intime,I'd be an ex ex
FedEx exec.
When we remarry,my wifewill bean
ex ex FedEx exec's ex.
364
Which witch snitchedthestitched
switch for whichtheSwiss witch
wished?
by Ann Clark
365
Does this shopsportshort socks with
spots?
366
Customer: Do youhavesoothers?
Shopkeeper (thinking hehad said
"scissors"): No, we don't havescissors.
Customer: Soothers!
Shopkeeper : No, wedon't have
scissors or soothers.
... scissors orsoothers, scissors or
soothers,scissors or soothers, ...
actualconversation ina shopin
Canada, recorded by Don Monson
367
Tommy, Tommy, toiling ina tailor's
shop.
All day long hefits and tucks,
all day long hetucks andfits,
and fits and tucks, andtucks andfits,
and fits and tucks, andtucks andfits.
Tommy, Tommy, toiling ina tailor's
shop.
23. 368
No need to light a night-lighton a light
night like tonight.
369
I wish to wish, I dreamto dream,I try
to try, and I live tolive,andI'd dieto
die, and I cryto crybut I dont know
why.
from a Song by Soundgardennamed
"Somewhere"composed and written
by Ben Shepherd
370
My mommy makes memuffins on
Mondays.
by Tim McCauley, age 8
371
A real rarewhale.
372
Terry Teeter,a teeter-totter teacher,
taught her daughter Tara to teeter-
totter, butTara Teeter didn't teeter-
totter as Terry Teeter taught her to.
by Pierre Abbat
373
Ken Dodd's dad's dog 's dead.
374
I bought a bit ofbaking powder and
baked a batch ofbiscuits. I brought a
big basketofbiscuits back tothe
bakery andbaked a basket ofbig
biscuits.ThenI took thebig basket of
biscuits andthebasketofbig biscuits
and mixedthebig biscuits withthe
basket ofbiscuits thatwas next to the
big basketand put a bunch ofbiscuits
from the basketinto a biscuit mixer
and brought thebasketofbiscuits and
the box ofmixed biscuits and the
biscuitmixerto thebakery and
opened a tin ofsardines.
Said to be a diction test for would-be
radio announcers: To bereadclearly,
without mistakes,in less than 20
seconds (from CoronetMagazine,
August 1948).
375
Kanta is a masaigirl. Shecan tie a tie
and untiea tie.IfKanta can tiea tie
and untie a tie,why can't I tiea tieand
untie a tie?
376
I'm a mother pheasantplucker,
I pluck mother pheasants.
I'm the most pleasantmother
pheasantplucker,
to ever pluck a mother pheasant.
Actually,...
I'm Not the pheasantplucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's son.
But I'll stayandpluck the pheasants
Till the pheasant plucking 's done!
377
Ifyou go for a gopher a gopher will go
for a gopher hole.
378
Seven slick and sexy sealskinskisuits
slid slowly downtheslope.
379
The chiefofthe Leith policedismisseth
us.
380
Fred Threlfall's thirty-fivefinethreads
are finer threads than Fred Threlfall's
thirty-five thick threads.
by Anthony Nichols
381
Bug's black blood, Black bug's blood
24. 382
Reed WadeRoad
name of a road inBatesvilleArkansas
383
Jack's napsack strap snapped.
384
I saw Esau sitting ona seesaw. I saw
Esau; he saw me.
385
A quick wittedcricket critic.
386
Hitchcock Hawk Watch Spots Record
Raptors
Title of an articleintheNeola Gazette
387
Sure, sir, the ship's sure shipshape,sir.
388
The Smothers brothers'father's
mother's brothers are
the Smothers brothers'mother's
father's otherbrothers.
389
One Double DozenDoubleDamask
Dinner Napkins
Name ofa sketch writtenby Dion
Titheradgefor a Londonmusical revue
and originallyperformed byCicely
Courtneidge in theearly 1930's. The
comedienneBea Lillie performed the
sketch inan Americanfilm starring
Bing Crosby in1938, and thatfilm's
name was "Doctor Rhythm". The
sketch becamefamous andLilliedid
perform it on numerous occasions on
radio, as wellas record iton two
78rpm records.
390
The cat crept into thecrypt, crapped
and creptout.
391
Dear mother,
give your other udder
to my other brother.
392
Blended baby blue bug's blood
blotches.
made up watching bugs splatter on
the windshield ...ugh!
393
So, this is thesushi chef?
Spoken to a friendin a Japanese
restaurant onthechef’s return.
394
Furnish Freddie's nursery with forty-
four furry Furby BeanieBabies.
395
Arnold Palmer, ArnoldPalmer,Arnold
Palmer,...
name ofthe famous Americangolfer
396
A bitter biting bitternbita better
biting bittern
And the better biting bitternbitthe
bitter biting bittern back.
Said the bitter biting bittern to the
better biting bittern
“I’m a bitter biting bittern bittenback”
25. 397
Certifiedcertificates fromcertified
certificate certifiers.
398
Imagine,imagining imagining,an
imaginary imaginary imaginary
menageriemanager, imagining
imagining imagining an imaginary
imaginary imaginary managerie.
399
What noiseannoys a noisyoyster?
Any noise annoys a noisy oyster,
but a noisynoiseannoys a noisy oyster
most!
400
We need a plan tofan a pan; finda
pan to fan, then find a fan tofan the
pan, thenfan the pan.
Some Korean students find difficult to
pronouncedifferencebetween 'f'and
'p'.
401
How many snacks coulda snack
stackerstack,
ifa snack stacker snackedstacked
snacks?
by ChristineReynolds
402
Freddy is ready to roastredroaches.
Ready for Freddy's roastedred
roaches?
403
Who washed Washington's white
woolen underwearwhen
Washington's washer-woman went
west?
404
On mules we find two legs behind and
two we find before.
We standbehind beforewefind what
those behind befor.
405
Three grey geese
In a green field grazing,
Grey were thegeese
And green was thegrazing.
406
Susie sits shinning silvershoes
407
Ralph rakes leaves really, really lousily.
for Japanese students ofEnglish
408
Lady Luck dislikes losers.
for Japanese students ofEnglish
409
Broken backbrakeblock
410
Mumbling, bumbling. Bumbling,
mumbling.
411
Of all the felt I everfeltI never felt felt
that felt likethat felt felt.
412
26. They hatch fish at the statefish
hatchery and sell hatched fishto the
fish stickfactory.
by Kevin Brown
413
In pine tar is.In oak none is.In mud
eels are.In clay noneis.
If read fast,it sounds likegibberish.
414
The sixth sicksheik's sixth sick sheep.
415
Thirty-six thick silk threads
416
Silly shoe-fly pie fans sellchilly shoe-fly
pie pans.
417
Kantaican tie a tie. IfKantai can tiea
tie,
why can't I tiea tie likeKantaican tiea
tie.
418
The two-toed treetoadtriedto tread
where thethree-toed treetoadtrod.
419
Tricky Tristan tracked a trailoftiny
turtles.
How many tiny turtles didTricky
Tristan track?
Tricky Tristan tracked twenty two tiny
turtles;
that's how many tiny turtles tricky
Tristan tracked.
420
Esau Wood sawa wood saw, saw
wood, as nowoodsaw would saw
wood. IfEsau Wood sawa wood saw,
saw wood,as no wood saw wouldsaw
wood, whereis thewood sawwitch
would sawwood, as nowood saw
would sawwood.
421
You're behaving likea babbling,
bumbling bandofbaboons.
from Harry Potter
422
IranianUranium
423
Giddy kiddy goat,
Giddy kiddy goat,
Giddy, giddy,giddy, giddy, giddy,kiddy
goat.
424
He wantedto desert his dessert inthe
desert!
425
Ifa Hottentot tottaughta Hottentot
tot to talk beforethetotwouldtotter,
ought the Hottentot tot betaughtto
say ought, ornaught, or whatought to
be taught the Hottentottot? Ifto hoot
and to toot a Hottentot tot betaught
by a Hottentottutor, shouldthetutor
get hot ifthe Hottentot tot hoots and
toots at the Hottentottutor?
426
There was a writer called Wright, he
taught his son to write Wright right:
"It's not right to write Wright 'Rite',
pleasetryto writeWrightright!"
427
Very rare vagrant wader
27. a "vagrant wader"is a wading bird
that is nottypicalto a particularregion
428
Crash QuicheCourse
429
I broke a brickbat anda brickbat broke
me.
430
A wooden worm wouldn't beworthy
of worship butwould heifhe
wonderedandworried about what he
would be worthy ofifhewasn't
wooden?
by Samy Gosselin
431
Give papa a cup ofproper coffeeina
copper coffeecup.
432
Nine nice nightnurses nursing nicely.
433
Farrell's features fabulous food 'n'
fantasticfountain fantasies for
frolicking, fun-filledfestive families.
434
Who holds Joe's nosewhen he blows?
Joe knows.
435
A singly circularly linked list.
436
The Final Fixing ofthe Foolish Fugitive
Feeling footloose,fancy-freeand
frisky, this feather-brainedfellow
finagled his fond father into forking
over his fortune. Forthwith, hefled for
foreign fields andfritteredhis
farthings feasting fabulously withfair-
weatherfriends.Finally,fleeced by
those folly filledfellows andfacing
famine, hefoundhim-selfa feed
flinger in a filthyfarm-lot. Hefain
would havefilledhis framewith
foraged food from fodderfragments.
"Fooey! My father's flunkies farefar
fancier,"thefrazzledfugitivefumed
feverishly, frankly facing fact.
Frustratedfrom failureand filled with
forebodings, hefled for his family.
Falling athis father's feet, he
floundered forlornly."Father, I have
flunked andfruitlessly forfeited
further family favors . . ."
But the faithful father,forestalling
further flinching, frantically flagged his
flunkies tofetch forththefinest fatling
and fix a feast.
But the fugitive's fault finding frater,
faithfully farming his father's fields for
free, frownedat this fickleforgiveness
offormer falderal. His fury flashed, but
fussing was futile.
His foresightedfatherfigured,"Such
filial fidelity is fine,butwhat forbids
fervent festivities?The fugitiveis
found! Unfurl theflags! Withfanfare
flaring, let fun, frolic and frivolity flow
freely, former failures forgottenand
folly forsaken."
Forgiveness forms a firm foundation
for future fortitude.
(Sir John HenschofLondon)
437
Thirty-threethousandfeathers on a
thrushes throat.
438
When I went toWarsaw, I saw a saw
that could outsawany saw that I ever
saw. Now, ifyougo to Warsaw and
see a saw that couldoutsawthesaw I
saw, I'd liketo seeyour sawsaw.
439
Ifpracticemakes perfectand perfect
needs practice,
I’m perfectly practiced andpractically
perfect.
28. by Karen and AlyseFerry
440
Six Czech cricket critics
441
Rubber Berber Gerber™ Burger
An ersatz NorthAfricantaste treat...
442
Lucid Lou sluedloosethesluice that
slew theslough.
443
In Hertford, HerefordandHampshire
hurricanes hardly ever happen.
from My Fair Lady themusical based
upon George Bernard Shaw's
Pygmalion
444
Thomas Tattamus took two T's to tie
two tots to two talltrees.
445
Hercules,a hardy hunter, hunteda
hare in theHampshire Hills. Hit himon
the head witha hard, hardhammer
and he howledhorribly!
446
Frank's fisher fishes on Friday for
Frank's Friday freshfried fish-fest.
by Steven Combs
447
I saw a saw inWarsaw. Ofall the saws
I ever saw I never sawa saw thatcould
saw, likethesawI saw inWarsaw.
448
Dick had a dog,
the dog dug,
the dog dug deep,
how deep didDick's dog dig?
Dick had a duck,
the duck dived,
the duck dived deep,
how deep didDick's duckdive?
Dick's duck dived as deep as Dick's dog
dug!
by Alexandra Hunt(11 years old)
449
It's a nice nightfor a white ricefight.
450
Ifa fella meta fella ina fieldoffitches
Can a fella tella fella where a fella
itches?
451
I feel a feel a funny feela funny feel
feel I,
IfI feel a funny feela funny feelfeel I.
452
Never trust
a sloppy crust,
a squally gust,
ships thatrust,
or girls withlust.
But ifyou must,
you may trust
to go bust,
and back todust,
which serves youjust.
on board ofa Victory Shipin the 1940s
29. 453
A sad story about Nobody
This is a storyaboutfour people
named Everybody, Somebody,
Anybody and Nobody.Therewas an
important job to bedone and
Everybody was surethatSomebody
would do it. Anybodycould havedone
it, but Nobodydid it. Somebody got
angry aboutthat,becauseit was
Everybody's job. Everybody thought
Anybody could doit,butNobody
realisedthatEverybodywouldn't do it.
It ended up that Everybody blamed
Somebody, whenNobody did, what
Anybody could have done.
454
Mr Knott and Mr Watton thePhone
Hello?
Who's calling?
Watt.
What's your name?
Watt's my name.
Yes, what is your name?
My name is John Watt.
John what?
Yes.
... I'll callon youthis afternoon.
All right, areyou Jones?
No, I'm Knott.
Will you tell me your name, then?
Will Knott.
Why not?
My name is Knott.
Not what?
Not Watt. Knott.
What?
455
Round brown bread
the Indian bread "Roti"
456
grip glue, gripglue, gripglue, ...
457
Bob's pop-up blocker blocks Bob's
pop-ups.
458
Chill, Shake,Serve,...
459
M. R. Ducks
M.R. not Ducks
O. S. M. R.
L. I'll B.
M. R. Ducks!
460
How much cashcould a sasquatch
stash ifa sasquatchcouldstashcash?
by Janet Cashman-Shipmanand family
461
A cunning young cannerfrom Canning
Once observed to his granny,
"A canner cancan
a lot ofthings gran,
But a canner can't can a can, canhe?"
462
How many ducks could a duck duct-
tape, ifa duck couldduct-tape ducks?
463
Bad dead bed-bugs bleed bug blood.
by Mimi Routh
464
Upper roller,lower roller,
upper roller,lowerroller,
30. upper roller,lowerroller, ...
465
Bill had a billboard, Bill alsohada
board bill. Thebillboardbored Billso
Bill soldthebillboardto pay for the
board bill.
466
Washington's wash woman washed
Washington's wash while
Washington's wife wentwest.
467
Faith's face cloth, Faith's facecloth,
Faith's face cloth, ...
by Monica Holmes-Lauder
468
Deer, deer, ohdear, oh dear,
your career as a deeris overhere
no, no, oh no, although
your career as a skellytun's begun.
The Roadkill Song
469
The sixth sickSikh's sixth sheepis sick.
470
Click, clap,pluck,...
471
Mister Twister's tongue twisters,...
472
Hum-min-a, Hum-min-a, Hum-min-a,
...
sometimes saidby JackieGleason in
"The Honeymooners"
473
Mud bug, mud bug, mudbug, ...
474
Polish itin the corner.Polishit inthe
corner. Polishit inthecorner. ...
475
I gratefullygazedatthegracefully
grazing gazelles.
476
Really very weary, really very weary,
really very weary, ...
477
The sixth sicksheik's sixth sheep 's
sick.
variationofthe famous tongue twister
478
Thrushcross Grange
the nameofthe Linton's house in
"Wuthering Heights"by Emily Brontë
479
Six sticky skeletons, six sticky
skeletons, sixsticky skeletons,...
480
Sheila is selling her shopatthe
seashore
For shops at theseashoreareso sure
to lose
And she’s not sosureofwhat she
should beselling
32. if a moose on theloosecoulduse
loose snus?
493
Black Rock Brain Lock
494
Which Witch snitched theSnitch
Witch?
Or did the Snitch Witch snitchthe
Witch?
If the Snitch Witch snitchedtheWitch
then whichWitchdidtheSnitchWitch
snitch?
by Emily Green
495
A maid named Lady Marmalade
made mainly lardand lemonade.
M'lady lamely never made
a well-named,labelledmarmalade.
496
Theodore Thistlethrewthreethorny
thistles.
How many thorny thistles did
Theodore Thistlethrow?
497
Silly Sally Shouldnort shaved sheepshe
should show soon soselling sheep
shaved showed sheshouldn't show
shaved sheep sosoon.
by James Norton
498
Cracker rapper, crackerrapper,
cracker rapper, ...
by Kazia Sarpola
499
Lenny Lou leopard led leprechauns
leaping likelemmings.
by Brian & GraceMcKeon
500
loyal royal lawyer
501
Darn dawndog gone!
The sometimes annoying petcanineis
not at homethis morning.
502
Free Ritz wristwatch.
Try saying Ritz wristwatch5 times fast!
from the back ofa Ritz cracker box
503
Six slick,slim, slender saplings.
504
Tell a tall tale ofa tall tailed dog, that
told Tim it tap a tall ale and thump the
top ofTim's tomb.
505
Old lady Hunthada cuzzy Funt not a
cuzzy Funt but a Hunt Funtcuzzy.
506
How much juicedoes a fruitjuice
producer producewhen a fruitjuice
producer produces fruitjuice? Wecan
deduce a fruitjuiceproduces as much
juice as a fruit juice producecan
seduce fromthefruit thatproduces
juice.
507
33. They think that their teeth get thinner
at times they wantto tastethickmeat.
508
Three tiredtigers tryto throw three
trees.
509
I wish to wish the wish youwish to
wish, but if youwish thewish the
witch wishes,I won'twish the wish
you wish to wish.
510
Ken can kenthat Ken's kincan ken
Ken's kin's ken.
511
The sixth shack's sixth sicksheik's sixth
sheep 's sick.
512
Which Swiss witch switched the Swiss
wristwatches?
by Marnie Singer
513
Cook "Cookie"Turk took KookieKirk a
turkey cookie.
by Marnie Singer
514
How many tow trucks could a tow
truck tow ifa towtruck couldtow tow
trucks.
by CheyennePerry (age 10)
515
I miss my Swiss miss.
My Swiss miss misses me.
516
Now the trees areall groaning in
growling, roughgales
That with thuds and hoarseroaring
roll raging around!
Such leaf-rousing,branch-ruining,
ripping, raw wails,
Such a terrible,thrashing andtree-
wrecking sound!
by Mark Scrivener
517
Slinking, sliding, slithering slyly,
Swiftly slipping through thegrasses
shyly,
Silent butfor swish and hiss
Is the sinuous snake's leglessness.
by Mark Scrivener
518
Corythosaurus bitthegory esophagus
ofthe dillapitated Dilophosaurus who
lived in thesorest offorests withthe
whacky pachy-rinosaurus andthe
ceratosaurus, butthemostpoorest
and mourishpanoplosaurus called
Wang sang andrang chorus with the
lurdusaurus andthebrachiosaurus
who was dying ofstaphylococus-
aureas.
by Henry Dyne andGeorgieWarden
519
How much squashcoulda sasquatch
squish,ifa sasquatch could squish
squash?
520
fresh fish and friedprawns
521
She thrustthreethousand thistles
through the thick ofherthumb.
34. 522
It dawned onDonat dawn.
523
A snake sneaks to seek a snack.
524
A synonym for cinnamonis a
cinnamon synonym.
525
Great Gate Crasher
From a personalexperienceat a
friend's party ...
526
Sister Susie's sewing shirts for soldiers,
Such saucy soft shortshirts for soldiers
sisterSusiesews,
Some soldiers sendepistles saythey'd
sooner sleepon thistles,
Than thosesaucy soft short shirts for
soldiers,
Sister Susiesews.
527
How many rats would the ruskiesroast
ifthe ruskies could roastrats?
How many cats would a caddiecatch if
a caddiecouldcatch cats?
528
Rural ruler
529
Swift shift
530
An illusory vision is a visionary illusion.
Is it?
531
In shoulder surgery some surgeons
sew soldiers'shoulders.
by a rehabilitation medicaldoctor
532
Midget minute,midgetminute,
midget minute, ...
533
Willy's wooden whistle wouldn't
whistlewhen Willy wentwild.
534
Wilson Winston wincedwhilst he
minced a squinting prince.
co-writtenby Charles C.Canoll IV and
Megan L. Luke
535
Ifa dog chews shoes, whose shoes
does he choose?
536
I thought the haughtyProfessor
Tortoise taught ontology, butthe
naughty Tortoisetaughtus tautology.
by Dachlan Cartwright
537
Grandma Gabby Grammer grabbeda
gram ofgummy goulash.IfGrandma
Gabby Grammer grabbeda gram of
gummy goulash,How many grams of
gummy goulash did Grandma Gabby
Grammer grab?
538
"He thrusts his fists againsttheposts,
35. and still insists hesees theghosts."
from "It"by Stephen King submitted
by Ted Scheck
539
Thrifty Theophilus,thetheocratic
thistlesifter, thricethrust three
thousand thistles through the slick
thick of his softly throbbing thumb.
540
What's a synonymfor cinnamon or is
cinnamon synonym-less?
541
Dimensional analysis
542
Friskies frisbee
My friend got a frisbee withthe
"Friskies"-logo onit
543
Hulk Hawk is hulking thehawk,Hawk
Hulk is hawking Hulk ... Hawkhugs the
hedgehog
by Alexander fromRussian (10years
old)
544
Rather Ruth's writhings than Roth's
wrath.
by David Philips
545
The third time the three three-toed
tree toads triedtying theirtoes
together,thethird three-toed tree
toad tiedthetwothree-toed tree
toads toes to the third toads toes.
Then the two tiedthree-toed tree
toads told the third three-toedtree
toad thattying their toes together
thrilledthem totheirtoetips.
from a high schoolEnglish class many
years ago
546
Darla's dollars
I see he sees high seas shesees.
Minsea and Youngsea made this
together intheirEnglishclass
548
I saw a kitteneating chicken in the
kitchen.
549
My back blackbrakeblocks are
broken.
