Ranger Stan and his partner Maurice are investigating reports of a cult operating in the park. They come across Will Birch, a rival ranger who is also seeing Stan's boss Lilith. After an altercation with Birch, Maurice chloroforms him. They later discover the cult's camp, along with Birch, who is surrounded by robed cultists led by Heather, a woman they met earlier.

1. RANGER DANGER
EPISODE II
BLUE REVISION:
13/03/2016
Written by
Angélique G.S Moseley
Story Credits:
Tudor Dinica, Dylan Koch, Kim Manne, and Kora Vanderlip
angelique.moseley@gmail.com

2. EXT. PARK WOODS - DAY1 1
Dark trees, thick moisture.
Tight felt uniform and steel-toed boots, RANGER STAN (26)
raises a pair of BINOCULARS. Nearby, a POP catches his ear. *
STAN
Maurice.
MAURICE (O.S.)
(willfully ignorant)
Stan.
Gum SMACKING MAURICE MUNDI (19) leans on a tree and glares *
for a selfie. Stan SNAPS one of Maurice’s suspenders.
They get back to work, binoculars up. Zoom. Maurice picks out *
a SPUNKY PICNICKER. Nope. Stan spots a GOTH CHICK. Promising.
A twig SNAPS and Stan comes binocular-to-binocular with the
paragon of park rangers: WILL BIRCH (25). They drop their
lenses and converge, uniforms a’SQUEAKING.
MAURICE (CONT’D)
Five Time Star Ranger Will Birch.
WILL BIRCH
Stan. Twinkerbell. *
STAN
What are you doing in my park?
WILL BIRCH
What are you doing with my woman?
MAURICE
Lilith dumped your bubble butt. *
WILL BIRCH
That’s what she thinks. And I think
something stinks here. *
MAURICE
Maybe. Maybe we’ll call Lilith, and *
see what Park’s Management thinks.
STAN
You’re trespassing.
WILL BIRCH
I’ll conduct myself out. But I’ve
got my eye on you, Stan Junior. *

3. He backs up, eyes narrow, then turns haughtily.
MAURICE
He really is a slime-wad. *
As Birch disappears, Stan squints for the Goth Chick. *
STAN
I’ve got to find those cultists
before Lilith--
A hand slides onto his shoulder and Stan jumps up.
STAN (CONT’D)
I-- hello there, lady.
It’s the Spunky Picnicker from before: sultry soccer mum *
HEATHER (28). There’s an EVIL EYE RING on her pinkie. *
HEATHER
Heather. Want some multivitamin *
power firm formula? *
She shakes a little tub of anti-aging cream. *
MAURICE
Yes! My crow's-feet are fu-- *
(glancing at Stan)
--dging up my selfies.
HEATHER
You’re in luck, kid; I’m the queen
of complexion. *
Quicker than quick, she’s spread a picnic tartan; unlocked a
cosmetic toolbox; yanked Maurice down to a cross-legged sit. *
HEATHER (CONT’D)
I heard you have a cultist problem.
STAN
As a matter of-- wait, were you
eavesdropping?
HEATHER
I’m just a team player. Here for my *
son’s soccer pre-practice mostly. *
But I hear things, when I’m *
coaching and giving people cold *
creams... You have exquisite pores. *
MAURICE
Ahem.
STAN
Yes, well, I should be, um--
Blue Rev. (mm/dd/yy) 2.

4. HEATHER
So what you’re doing about your
cult? Are they really that *
nefarious? *
STAN *
Well, I don’t take issue with the *
devil, but I don’t like garbage and *
the cultists sure make a mess.
HEATHER
What will you do with them?
MAURICE
Send them squealing to the hills.
Heather shushes him with a glop of cream. *
HEATHER
I heard whispers of a noon time
seance if that helps, Ranger..?
STAN
Stan- and it certainly does, thank
you.
He squints into his binoculars, but the Goth Chick is gone. *
STAN (CONT’D)
Maurice I’ll--
Maurice looks up, gum POPPING, face mask game strong. *
STAN (CONT’D)
...expect you in the office in 20
minutes. Heather.
HEATHER
Stan.
Stan heads off at a terrific clip.
INT. OFFICE HUT - DAY2 2
The room feels very ‘50s; prim and rustic. Stan busts in and
HUFFS angrily, but perks up when he hears a RUSTLE of paper.
VELVET CURTAINS; a SIGN reading “Ranger Stan Sr.”. A wider *
view reveals a PANIC BOARD where a shrine should be, layered
with a spider’s web of CLIPPINGS and PHOTOS. Stone pentagrams *
and discarded tea lights number amongst the threats.
Blue Rev. (mm/dd/yy) 3.

5. LILITH (O.S.)
Should I be writing up another
incident report?
Stocking-ed feet up on Stan’s DESK, LILITH KICK (35), blunt
and proudly built sits in Stan’s CHAIR, contemplatively. *
STAN
Lilith!
LILITH
Ranger. What is this?
In his periphery, Stan sees Maurice slink into the office.
LILITH (CONT’D) *
Three more strikes, Stan. You’re
gonna make me cut your funding.
Maurice hovers behind Lilith, fiddling with something. *
STAN
Do you trust me?
LILITH
I trust your love of the park.
STAN
Then trust me.
Maurice raises a CHLOROFORM RAG. On the desk, Lilith’s feet *
fight a little, then still. Stan stands like a lost child. *
Maurice lays Lilith’s head gentle on the headrest. He SIGHS. *
MAURICE
I panicked, man. I’m sorry.
STAN
Why do you even have chloroform?!
MAURICE
We’re park rangers.
Stan goes about closing his private ‘shrine’ curtains.
STAN
I shouldn’t sign your papers.
MAURICE
Look man, no one likes community
service, except you. She was going
to get us both fired. *
Lilith stirs.
Blue Rev. (mm/dd/yy) 4.

6. LILITH
Stan? What happened?
MAURICE
You must have fallen asleep waiting
for your favourite Ranger-- we just
got in.
Stan nods, guilty as schoolboy. Lilith check her watch. *
LILITH *
Damn, I’ve got a lunch meeting. But *
I’ll call to talk about Birch soon. *
The boys GULP as she grabs her CHEAP PUMPS by the door. *
LILITH (CONT’D)
(slipping into her heels)
Speaking of, you might want to be *
more conspicuous with your
personals.
She nods to a MAGAZINE: “Ranger Confidential” (gleaming with
Will Birch’s profile) as she exits.
Stan scrambles to trash it with an angry THUMP. In the bin is *
a pile of cosmetic tubs and tubes.
MAURICE
Oh that, yeah, Heather was pretty
heavy handed with the samples.
Stan looks to cork board; the samples; the cork board, eyes
narrowing.
STAN
Maurice, I’m promoting you Deputy. *
Stan tightens his FANNY PACK and throws the door open.
MAURICE
Yeah, yeah. Just stamp my docs, ok? *
Stan’s gone. Maurice lounges. Beat. He’s bored. He rushes *
after Stan.
EXT. PARK WOODS - CLEARING - DAY3 3
Stan stumbles into the CANDLE-littered clearing-- catching a *
string-dangled, BLOODY COLD CREAM TUBE in the chest. A cheap *
sign reading “Welcome to Gardenland Park: Feel Wild, Touch *
Nature” has been washed with BLOOD. *
Blue Rev. (mm/dd/yy) 5.

7. WILL BIRCH (O.S.)
I doubt that stain’ll come out.
Will Birch stalks up from behind him and looks about, in awe. *
WILL BIRCH (CONT’D)
I think you’re out of the running, *
Stanley. And Lilith couldn’t resist *
a six time star ranger.
In Stan’s periphery, Maurice pads up from another trail. He
readies the CHLOROFORM CLOTH and BOTTLE.
WILL BIRCH (CONT’D)
You know I love the number six? *
Stan’s eyes flit to Maurice. He shakes his head.
WILL BIRCH (CONT’D)
I hate odd numbers almost as much *
as I hate garbage. *
Maurice winks; no crows-feet. Stan shakes ‘no’. *
WILL BIRCH (CONT’D)
And you’re just the garbage man.
Wouldn’t your daddy be proud?
Beat. Stan nods. Maurice taps Birch’s shoulder; he turns, *
shocked. Maurice smirks and ploughs the CHLOROFORM RAG into *
the camera. Stan swallows his horror, unable to look away. *
Birch lies still. *
MAURICE
Selfie?
Stan acquiesces, Will Birch makes the background. The selfie
is a thing of beauty. Stan produces a HUGE BIN BAG from his
tiny fanny pack and begins cleaning garbage. Maurice pulls
out more GUM and leans on a tree, posting the photo.
CUT TO:
EXT. PARK WOODS - CLEARING - DAY (LATER)4 4
Ranger Will Birch stirs on the mulch. He looks about and
balks at the clearing’s edge; he’s surrounded by CULTISTS
with HOODED ROBES and falsely youthful faces. *
Behind him, Heather smiles.
FADE OUT. *
Blue Rev. (mm/dd/yy) 6.