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Parenting Young Children Effectively.pptx
The document provides guidance on parenting children ages 3 to 12. It discusses the key domains of child development - physical, cognitive, and socio-emotional. For the physical domain, it emphasizes the importance of nutrition, sleep, hygiene and physical activity. For cognitive development, it outlines theories of intelligence and cognitive stages. For socio-emotional development, it discusses the importance of praise, affection, self-esteem and the theories of Erikson and attachment. It addresses common parenting concerns and provides tips for being involved without being over-involved or neglectful.
Parenting Young Children Effectively.pptx
- 1. Parenting Sritha Sandon Montfort College Bangalore Ages3 to 12 “If your children look up to you, you’ve made a success of life’s biggest job.” ~ Unknown
- 2. About myself • SrithaSandon • Assistant Professor and Coordinator, Department of Psychology, Montfort College • Teach lifespan development – development across the life (among other subjects) • Have two small children – 10y and 4y
- 3. TOP 5 Concerns •On a board, let us write down our concerns and questions about our children and our relationships with them. • Here are a few to get you started: – My child does not study well – My child does not listen to me – My child does not eat properly – My child watches too much TV… • Now let us prioritize the top 5
- 5. DOMAINS OF DEVELOPMENT “Your childrenare not your children, they come through you, but they are life itself, wanting to express itself.” ~ Wayne Dyer
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- 7. The Physical Domain •Height and weight gains • Development of bones and muscles • Development of internal organs • Gains in speed • Changes in motor skills • Hormonal changes • Health • Immunity …
- 8. The Physical Domain •Children need a regular routine • Children need hygienic surroundings and hygienic habits • Children need nutritious food that is cooked at home • Children need at least 2 hours of physical activity in the form of exercise and games • Young children need about 10 hours of sleep each night
- 9. The Cognitive Domain •Perception • Attention • Memory • Thinking • Language • Reasoning • Problem solving • Intelligence
- 10. Intelligence The global capacity tothink rationally, act purposefully and deal effectively with one’s environment
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- 14. Piaget’s Concepts • SensoryMotor Stage – From birth till when the child begins to talk, say 0 to about 2 years. • Pre-operational Stage – From when the child begins to talk till the child begins formal education, say about 2 to about 6 or 7 years • Stage of Concrete Operations – From formal education to early adolescence, say 6 or 7 to 12 or 13 • Stage of Formal Operations – From 12 or 13 till 21 or 22
- 15. Pre-Ops • Cannot thinklogically, in the adult sense of the word • Vocabulary is expanded and developed • Usually ‘ego centric’ • 'Animism' • ‘Symbolism’ • 'Moral realism’
- 16. What can youexpect from Pre Ops • They will grow up at their own pace – give them time • They still learn a lot through play and doing things • They enjoy humour • They are very curious • They cannot sit for long periods and just listen/ write
- 17. Concrete Ops • Thoughtis more operational – logical, not pragmatic • Need manipulation to operate • Conservation • Can understand What-if scenarios • Reversibility
- 18. What to expectfrom Concrete Ops • They will understand abstract concepts only if you make them concrete • They will learn best by doing, not just thinking, watching, and talking • They cannot be world-wise • They can be taught to test hypotheses, still in a concrete way • They begin to look beyond the appearance
- 20. The Socio-emotional Domain •Emotions • Aggression • Assertiveness • Affection • Intimacy/ closeness • Parent-child relationships
- 21. Erikson’s Concepts Age StageConflict (Virtue) Favourable Outcome Unfavourabl e Outcome 0-18m Infancy Basic trust v/s mistrust Hope, ability to tolerate frustration, ability to delay gratification Suspicion, withdrawal Trust develops out of constant, reliable care from a person who is ready and able to provide it (the caregiver)
- 22. Erikson’s Concepts Age StageConflict (Virtue) Favourable Outcome Unfavourabl e Outcome 18m-3y Early Childhood Autonomy v/s shame and doubt Will, self- control, self-esteem Compulsion, impulsivity Autonomy develops when toddlers are allowed autonomy in matters they can handle and also gently protected from excesses.
- 23. Erikson’s Concepts Age StageConflict (Virtue) Favourable Outcome Unfavourabl e Outcome 3y – 6y Play age (preschoo l) Initiative v/s guilt Purpose, enjoyment of accomplish ments Inhibition Initiative develops with parental understanding of a child’s individuality. Harsh parenting can lead to an overdeveloped harsh conscience and plague a child with guilt. Initiative adds to autonomy, the quality of understanding, planning, and attacking a task for the sake of being active.
- 24. Erikson’s Concepts Age StageConflict (Virtue) Favourable Outcome Unfavourabl e Outcome 6y – 11y School age Industry v/s Inferiority Competence and enjoyment of accomplish ment Inadequacy, inferiority Industry develops when children are praised for accomplishments and encouraged to try new things. It fosters the desire to learn skills that prepare children for adult roles.
- 25. Socio-emotional Domain • Praiseloudly, chide softly • Praise in public, chide in private • Boost your child’s self esteem whenever possible • Do not be verbally abusive • Hug, kiss, show affection openly and often • Be specific in feedback, don’t generalize wrongs
- 26. Attachment Needs My childloves me, need me, yet works independently. My child never seems need me, and prefers to work without me My child is very clingy and does not let me work by myself, but when I want to spend time with him/ her, he/she prefers not to have me around My child seems afraid of me Mary Ainsworth
- 27. Attachment Demands I havefound time for my child… to develop skills in my child to be able to work independently; my child feels loved and cared for I have not had enough time with my child and my child feels rejected and neglected. have not been consistent in my care towards my child… I have at times been available and at times not available when my child needed me; my child does not know what to expect from me I have abused and/ or neglected my child
- 28. Discussion • How DoI parent my child? • Who is a more important parent? • How involved should I be in my child’s growth and development? • How do I find time?
- 29. HOW DO IPARENT MY CHILD?
- 30. Parenting: Myths andFacts • It is wrong to expect obedience from children. • It is ridiculous to think children should be seen, not heard. • It is best to let children do what they want. • Being too strict with children is emotionally damaging. • It is never okay to spank your children.
- 31. Parenting: Myths andFacts • Children respond better to talking than spanking. • If you love your children, you will not spank them. • It does not matter if a child’s room is clean. • Parents should let their children play and have fun in the house. • A good parent has well-behaved children.
- 32. Parenting: Myths andFacts • Frequent physical punishment is an ineffective parenting tool. • It is better to be a disciplinarian than a friend to children. • It is better to be permissive than strict with children. • Being carefree is more important than being obedient.
- 33. Parenting: Myths andFacts • Children should feel free to ask “why” when being disciplined. • It is not necessary for children to fear you to respect you. • Time-out is better than spanking. • It is important to talk to children about misbehaviour and punishment. • Being strict is worse than being permissive. • Children should not be required to do chores.
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- 35. GOOD PARENTING “If youraise your children to feel that they can accomplish any goal or task they decide upon, you will have succeeded as a parent and you will have given your children the greatest of all blessings.” ~ Brian Tracy
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- 37. Discussion • What dowe mean by important… – meeting the child’s needs – Spending time with the child? • Who should meet the child’s needs? • Who should spend time with the child?
- 38. …Fathers as caregivers… •According to experts, involved fathers create an advantage for children in three important ways: – In how they play – In how they interact – In how they teach
- 39. HOW INVOLVED SHOULD IBE? Love me the most when I deserve it the least, that’s when I need it the most ~ Unknown
- 40. Parenting Don’ts • Don’tlive your life through your child – Narcissistic parenting • Don’t cover up your child’s mistakes or blame it on others – Helicopter parenting • Don’t hit, beat, shout, scream… at your child – Authoritarian parenting • Don’t ignore a child’s need or request repeatedly (once in a way is okay, but lesser the better)
- 41. Parenting Don’ts • Don’toverindulge and give your child everything he/she asks for – Permissive parenting • Don’t bribe your child for good behaviour – Indulgent parenting • Don’t confuse the child by expecting different things at different times – Insecure attachment parenting
- 42. Parenting Don’ts • Don’tthink you can buy affection or respect – Indulgent parenting • Don’t do your child’s work for him/her – Over parenting • Don’t neglect the child’s needs - Neglectful parenting • Don’t show love only for good behaviour – Conditional parenting
- 43. Parenting Do’s • Expectdiscipline, don’t beg, coerce, bribe or praise the child to do what is expected – authoritative parenting • Empower your children with self esteem and unconditional support – attachment parenting • Support the children in their needs and their interests – nurturant parenting • Help them through practice and guidance rather than just teaching them – slow parenting
- 44. Parenting Do’s • Buildattachment with your child – more than anything a child needs the trust and security in his/her parents – attachment parenting • Love the child – no matter what he/she does or is – UNCONDITIONALLY – the child needs to be valued no matter what – unconditional parenting • Praise the child and the accomplishment – chide only the behaviour, not the child – conscious parenting
- 45. Parenting Do’s • Respecteach child's individuality and create the space for each child to develop his or her own beliefs based on his or her unique personality and individual potentials – spiritual parenting • Step back and allow children to explore and take certain risks so that they get to know themselves, their abilities and limits better – nurturant parenting
- 46. Parenting Do’s • Balancehigh behaviour control (demand) with high warmth and affection – authoritative parenting • Encourage independent thinking and freedom of choice – authoritative parenting • Emphasize that each child is unique and you love the child because of that – nurturant parenting • Always put the child ahead of the problem – attachment parenting
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- 48. Discussion • How muchtime is needed? • Why is it important? • What are my priorities? • When do I find this time?
- 49. REMEMBER • There isno other option • You are the only two responsible for your child’s entire life • What you do will affect your child in every possible way • You and you alone need to spend time with your child… show him/ her you care… be there for him/ her… no one else will!
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- 51. Who is agood parent • Cares • Shows love • Involved • Supports • Sets expectations • Follows through • Is not punitive
- 52. And… • Remember, Ifyou take care of yourself first, emotionally, physically, financially; then you will be able to take care of your children more effectively!
- 53. THANK YOU “They may forgetwhat you said but they will never forget how you made them feel.” ~ Carol Buchner
- 54. “If I hadmy had my child to raise over again: I’d build self-esteem first and the house later I’d finger paint more and point the finger less I would do less correcting and more connecting I’d take my eyes off my watch and watch with my eyes I would care to know less and know to care more I’d take more hikes and fly more kites I’d stop playing serious and seriously play I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars I’d do more hugging and less tugging I’d see the oak tree in the acorn more often I would be firm less often and affirm much more I’d model less about the love of power And more about the power of love.” ~ Diane Loomans