We’ve had no contact since you arrived this time. I did anything for you, my love. You look very well for yourself, my love. You made some good conversations. I think, there was talk of conspiracy and I listened it so much. I’m just a fool and poorly girl. How must I feel it? Darling, your voice was low and sympathetic but your eyes slipped sideways. You had not comitted yourself to do your duties like what you often said to me.

1. It’s A Love Story
30th of January 2015, Thursday
00.17 am – 04.28 am
Just for dearest of my heart.
We’ve had no contact since you arrived this time. I did anything
for you, my love. You look very well for yourself, my love. You
made some good conversations. I think, there was talk of
conspiracy and I listened it so much. I’m just a fool and poorly
girl. How must I feel it? Darling, your voice was low and
sympathetic but your eyes slipped sideways. You had not comitted
yourself to do your duties like what you often said to me.
I wrote letters for you but not for delivery. Darling, I had given
my everything. I could have wished for and more during the long
hours of the nights, bringing me again and again to the peak,
holding there as only I could do.

2. Darling, you have had enough of me soon, my sweet. You kissed
me slowly, languidly. The windows was open but not enough to
catch what breeze there was in the muggy night. Am I not
enough for you, my heart? That’s always be questioned in my
heart.
You will find me all the better for you, I promise you. I shall
pleasure you in ways you have not dreamed of, my love. I’m too
young and innocent for you. Can you not refresh, my heart?
Yourself with someone with a little experienced.
Without saying anything, I went out from your life. It has nothing
to do without you, believe me, nothing I could do without you. I
hope I can find myself in your heart, my life.
I have already written to you, offering love and faithfully but you
have not as yet responded. Darling, I will be very happy if you are
destined to be my good and lovely angel. I love you and wanna see
you in the most days. I thought you do love me but I have seen
you do not.
I would spend the time with you only if I could. I love everything
about you. I try to understand you exactly. But sometimes I fear I
shall never be a good enough to be yours. I listened you always, my
love. I think you knew it. I knew I would never write or do
anything powerful and better like you. But I wish you appreciate
me.

3. I think I’m a little afraid, my love. I’m on easy with you, but not
with others. I always kept silent in grey about your less. I miss you
put my hands and stood up then said : “I love you” to me. I miss
you. The story was simple and romantic, I wish it would be ever
lasting, my heart.
Darling, I forgot where I was. There’s much love for you in my
heart. I wish you could realize. This story is full of life and
passion. I want to ask you, my love. If possible I want to ask you,
“don’t go, my heart... don’t you ever go”.
Sometimes I feel so frustrated at my lack of skill to understand
you much, forgive me my darling. Perhaps you’re right and I’m
wrong to read the conclution. I wish you could be here with me,
my love. Sometimes, I feel you aren’t serious with me, aren’t you
my love??
My love, you must show me the way, and don’t go leave me. Make
me memorize everything about you and let me feel you love me so
much. Darling, don’t walk away quickly without speaking, I’m sad
about this so much.
I have been so afraid you would be never come. My love, where
have you been? I woke early, and can’t stop to think about you, my
love. I love you so much. Can you think about me even a second
only, darling?

4. Aku ingat bagaimana ketika kau mengulurkan tangan
dan memelukku erat untuk pertama kalinya
aku juga ingat bagaimana ketika kau memintaku
dan kita saling bicara untuk pertama kalinya
.....
Kebenaran itu memang sangat menyakitkan
kenyataan bahwa semua itu sudah membutakanku
dan membuatku sulit bernapas, sayang
Jangan menjauh dariku
nanti aku akan menarikmu ke tubuhku
meski pada awalnya aku juga menolak dengan terang-terangan
saat kau melakukan hal yang sama seperti itu padaku
.....
Aku pun tidak ingin mencoba untuk menangis
sebab semua itu hanya akan menghancurkan semuanya
semua yang kita punya
Aku tidak suka wajahmu, kalau kau kelihatan marah
sebab itu membuatmu terlihat jahat
dan aku ingin menangis saat kau berubah menjadi seperti itu
....
Kurasa, aku mengatakan yang sebenarnya
tentang seperti apa yang ada di dalam dirimu
semoga saja, semua itu hanya perasaanku saja.
30th of January 2015, Thursday
Christata