This document purports to provide statistics about an account planning bootcamp, but notes that all statistics were made up. It includes fabricated numbers about things like the number of beers drank, times getting lost trying to meet up with others, and memorable moments with various attendees of unclear significance, jokingly suggesting all details are entirely fictional.

1. MAS NY Account Planning Bootcamp 2013
in numbers & statistics*
*Source: I made it up.

2. times people mispronounced my name:
34,987
Source: I made it up.

3. number of people who think they pronounce my name
properly, but actually don’t:
every single person
Source: I made it up.

4. number of beers I drank:
6,793
Source: I made it up.

5. total amount of minutes we spend
waiting for the elevator:
203,897
Source: I made it up.

6. percentage of the times I better could have taken the
stairs than the elevator:
99%
Source: I made it up.

7. percentage of the times a planner started a
presentation without seeing the creative work first:
51%
Source: I made it up.

8. times you could tell a planner hadn’t seen the
creative work before:
never
Source: I made it up.

9. times Mike was really really really excited for an
amazing and awesome guest speaker:
every single time
Source: I made it up.

10. times Prerika, LaToya, Jessica or Ariana thought I was
serious, while I actually made a joke:
1,657
Source: I made it up.

11. times Jonathan saved the day as the IT-guy:
63
Source: I made it up.

12. times he just fiddled around with the wires
and hoped for the best:
61
Source: I made it up.

13. number of questions Sarah asked during class:
13,865
Source: I made it up.

14. times we forgot to tell Yacine we went
to a different bar:
16
Source: I made it up.

15. times Yacine pop-upped at a bar again while he
already left:
164
Source: I made it up.

16. times Vicky asked me to delete a picture of her:
7,231
Source: I made it up.

17. times I actually did it:
2
Source: I made it up.

18. times only dogs could hear Simona’s
high pitched voice:
9
Source: I made it up.

19. percentage of instructors who will remember Fung:
110%
Source: I made it up.

20. percentage of how Mexican Alejandra is:
128%
Source: I made it up.

21. time Jascha moved while I took a panorama picture:
27
Source: I made it up.

22. number of times I will have dinner with Ria again:
never
Source: I made it up.

23. number of miles Adrienne has run:
16,786
Source: I made it up.

24. number of Hip Hop songs Jennie recognised:
every single song
Source: I made it up.

25. times I’ve seen Alex in a bar without
a whiskey in his hand:
1
Source: I made it up.

26. times I caught Steve secretly staring at me:
2,597
Source: I made it up.

27. number of memories I will bring back to The
Netherlands:
countless