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1. disney cruising as an amateur
by the Chaos Manager
Hi, I’m Andrea and I own exactly one T-shirt with a Disney character on it.
That’s a pretty brave admission for someone who is about to review a Disney cruise. Maybe I
shouldn’t give my real name. I wouldn’t want to be thrown overboard by any of the self-
proclaimed Disney Freaks who embarked on the floating vacation with me. These Disney
aficionados have a wealth of park and character trivia stored in some part of their brain that
never fully developed for me. They wear so many Disney pins on their clothing, lanyards (oh,
you must have a themed one around your neck, you novice!) and Mickey ears that they’ve
gained weight even before the ship sets sail and the buffet opens. Their tribes (part family, part
friend, part “friend” - Of course we know each other! We met on the Disney Cruise Facebook
group created specifically for this particular weeklong voyage!) have matching Cricut pressed
shirts. For. Each. Day. An eighth dwarf in your squad? Hello, Boozy. A baby? Awww, Sleepy. I
may not be Disney obsessed, but okay, I’ll embrace the magic, eat a Dole Whip and get ready for
the best vacation of my kids’ lives. Spoiler alert. It was an incredible experience for me too.
My family of five (hubby, me and three daughters ages 10, 8 and 6) departed on Disney Magic
from the Manhattan Cruise Terminal in the beginning of November for a seven-night Bahamian
cruise. Pro: No flight. It was a really easy drive from my house in NJ, less than an hour from my
driveway to the port. Con: It was COLD. Like, way colder than one would expect when they’re
about to set sail for Florida. Maybe I didn’t think it through and should have realized that we
needed to pack winter coats for the first few days of sailing, but fortunately the adrenaline was
pumping, so no one felt like they were directly hit by one of Elsa’s ice bolts. We had a few hours
to explore the ship before we were due to report for a short safety briefing. And, in those few
hours… we hit maybe a third of the things that there are to see on a Disney cruise ship!
The grand lobby stairs were run up and down, the glass elevator was
ridden, the main pool deck was walked around, the waterslides on deck
were pointed out with I’ll be back to ride you promises declared, and
some small snacks were consumed. (Note: Do not, I repeat, do not count
calories during your vacation. And, definitely do not pay too much
attention to what your kids are eating because I promise you that it
doesn’t meet the MyPlate dietary guidelines for a well-balanced diet.)
Chocolate covered marshmallow with Mickey shaped sprinkles, pudding
cup with a thin square of Mickey chocolate on top, and three mini chocolate chip cookies plated
as you guessed it… Mickey’s ears. Sounds about right to me. Click-click-click. Don’t forget to
take pictures of everything your children eat and do, mama. You wouldn’t want to miss a
minute! We tried to answer a few questions of Disney Trivia on the Funnel Vision (read: giant
movie sized screen on the pool deck) before giving up because… does it really matter?

2. Next, we hit the Kids’ Club and let me just say, the design
team did not miss a single beat with this glorious, colorful
space. My favorite room was built with staircases, bridges
and slides to look like Andy’s Room from Toy Story. It’s a
multi-level wonderland that really brings Toy Story to life
with full-sized toys such as Slinky dog, Mr. Potato Head and
letter building blocks. Oh, wait. I forgot to mention that we
were fully scanned in with our Magic Band bracelets for
safety purposes after we registered our children and established that we were the parents and the
only adults authorized to take our children out of the Club. Safety first! And, cleanliness
second… because upon entering and exiting the Kids’ Club you must wash your hands. Not at
some rinky dink sink where the water drips. Oh, no. It’s an official assignment. You stick your
arms in this sanitizing box with two holes and before you can say Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo, warm
water starts streaming out of jets and spinning around your hands. After thirty seconds or so, you
take your ready-to-perform-surgery hands out and dry them with paper towels. Of course Disney
came up with a way to make handwashing fun! Okay – back to the inside of the Club. It’s
thematic, full of art tables and Animation stations, interactive screens and fun seating options.
There’s a dance floor that lights up, touch-screen game tables and cabinets full of neatly
organized supplies. Lunch, dinner, snacks and beverages can be served throughout the day if
your kiddos don’t feel like joining you for meals. Time to wash hands and scan out to continue
our ship exploration.
We found the Walt Disney Theater – a seriously gigantic room with almost 1,000 plush seats –
where we would enjoy Broadway-worthy musical shows, comedians and acrobatic acts over the
next several days. We found the spa, the gym, some of the restaurants, and then finally, our
room. Do not feel like a pathetic loser if you get confused trying to find your room all week.
Every floor looks the same. Every long hallway looks the same. Every door looks the same.
Until you come across… the door of a “Disney Freak”. Actually, I feel a little awkward using
that nickname since I’m not one of them. I’ll switch it. Until you come across… the door of a
disney expert. These Experts, bless their hearts, have magnets all over their doors.
Disney magnets that they bought, crafted, beaded, glittered, who knows what else? They have
personalized wipe off boards, posters, flags and Fish Extenders* (I will not spend too many
words on this explanation. Recall, I’m the mom who is still proud to have remembered to pack
her one Princess tee. So, real quick… FEs (yes, I learned the lingo) are special fabric mailboxes
that passengers custom make to hang outside their stateroom doors. They’ll get notes from cruise
employees and even better, gifts from other passengers who they buddied up with pre-sailing.
Anyway, we will never be an FE family, but I’ll admit that those rooms are a little easier to find!

3. Our room was more spacious than I expected because Disney does such a thoughtful job of
utilizing the space. According to my research, Disney cabins are about 25% larger than standard
cabins on other cruise lines. And they make use of every square inch. The closets are organized
well with shelves and hanging space. The queen bed was quite comfortable and we all liked the
“pillow menu” that awaited us on day one. There was plenty of space under the bed for our
suitcases and enough hidden drawers near the desk and dresser to unpack all of our clothes,
shoes and toiletries. We chose a slightly upgraded cabin due to our family of five size, which
meant that there was a couch that converted to a single bed, another bed above it that pulled
down from the ceiling and a pull-down murphy bed closer to the balcony door. These three beds
were separated from the main bed by a privacy curtain. And in other good news, the bathroom,
while small, was actually so much better than I anticipated. A split bathroom feels like two
bathrooms because to one side there’s a sink and toilet with a door, and the other part has a
second sink and a shower tub. Do you understand the real estate of this cruise ship bathroom?
Genius! It honestly worked for five of us even when we all were trying to get ready at once.
OMG – we didn’t even depart yet and I already have you reading well over a thousand words.
I’m going to do the rest of this review on speed…. Like flipping through an old-time thumb book
used as an early form of film animation!
We set sail with a huge dance party on the main deck. Music,
performers, entertainment hosts, Disney characters, wands,
streamers. You name it. They have it. (That’s the unwritten
theme of a Disney cruise, by the way. You name it.
They have it.) We passed the NYC skyline and then the Statue
of Liberty in all of her glory as the sun was starting to set. More
pics, more smiles.
By the time we got back to our room to change for dinner, the
beds were pulled out and the blankets were tightly tucked. A
folded swan towel and five milk chocolate Ghirardelli
chocolates were waiting to be melted in our mouths. Dinner
was at Lumiere’s, a French-themed dining room, with plenty of
options. I could write an entire blog about the food alone, but
it’s sufficient to say that you will
never be hungry – not one tummy
growl on your entire vacation. You
can order as many appetizers, soups, salads, main courses and
desserts as you want. It’s pretty much Hello, Genie. Grant me a wish
of all the food that I can eat, and then give me more! Because on a
Disney Cruise, your wish is their command. I will not share the
details about the thousands of calories consumed over the course of
the week. Just use your imagination. It was all freaking delicious. It was night one and I already
think I was in a food coma.

4. After a solid night of sleep, rocked by the soothing waves that
help lull even those who might suffer from motion sickness,
the fam was ready for Day 2, our first real full day at sea. We
awoke to a rainbow that we could see from our balcony, got
dressed and went to enjoy a gluttonous (get used to it)
breakfast with plenty of perfectly crispy, sweet Mickey shaped
waffles. The day continued with a few rounds of ping pong
and shuffleboard on the Game Deck, some time by the pool
(still too cold to go in), a visit to the fitness center for me, a Royal Tea with the Princesses
(Nope, didn’t have the “right” attire for this one. Three princess dresses and basically a few
hundred dollars dropped at the Disney Store would have allowed us to fit in more with the
experts.), a live show in the theater and dinner. Full day – ü.
Day 3 at sea was similar to the previous day except as we were sailing
further south, the temperature was warmer and bathing suits were the
official uniform of the day. Lots of watersliding, a “Detox Seminar” at
the spa for yours truly, a solid attempt at a build a racecar out of
veggies competition, and then we caved for Pirate Night. I’m not
proud, but it had to be done. I didn’t have the Etsy personalized
shirts and costumes foresight pre-vacay, I wasn’t in the Facebook
groups, and I didn’t read the blogs. I just didn’t know. And, because
I didn’t, almost half a thousand dollars later… my girls were
magically transformed into pirates at the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique. A
unique experience it was, from the hair, makeup and temporary tattoos
to the full pirate outfit and plastic sword. “Best money ever spent,” said no normal person ever.
But, the girls were happy and I got several good pics to add to the family calendar! Thankfully,
my husband and I didn’t chug the juice too… we were content with the “Pirates of the
Caribbean” bandanas that our wonderful Stateroom Host left in our room, and called it a night
for our dress-up adventure. At dinner, we were guest animators at Animator’s Palate restaurant,
is a fun interactive activity for everyone. You draw your own character on a placemat, which is
collected by your server, and by the end of dinner, every single dinner guests’ characters are
shown dancing on screen to a musical number.

5. The highlight of the cruise was docking at Castaway Cay in the Bahamas on Day 4. Disney’s
private island is phenomenal. It’s a relaxing beach day reserved solely for you and your
shipmates. I finally planned ahead for something too. Pat me on the back because I registered in
advance (a whole twelve hours in advance, mind you) for the
Castaway Cay 5K. I left the ship about half an hour ahead of my
family to take part in the friendly race along the sandy shores of the
island. 26:04 later and I was wearing a souvenir medal (made of
some sort of rubbery material) and off to find my tribe. We splurged
on a private cabana for the day (wow.. also planned in advance…
like, months in advance
thanks to a tip from one of my husband’s co-workers) and
got to enjoy a secluded part of the island. The cabana was
beautifully furnished inside and had hammocks and
lounge chairs on the deck. It came with sand toys, floats
and tubes, fresh fruit and snacks… and was far away from
the masses. Although we did walk over to the floating
obstacle course and grabbed lunch at the barbecue
restaurant, we enjoyed about seven hours of a private-ish
beach and lagoon. Floating, chilling, volleyballing. The girls even got along the entire day.
Pure bliss.
When we woke up (way too) early the following morning, it was GO time. Like, go, go, go time.
Docked at Port Canaveral, we had about twelve hours to attack Disney World. Shuttled to the
park by van, we hit everything that we could. Every ride was fast passed to the best of (my
husband’s) planning ability. Every meal and snack break was strategically scheduled. The
bathrooms were mapped and the souvenir shopping was limited. By the end of the night, we had
logged over 20,000 steps (kids too!) and we were exhausted. No show, no dinner on the ship, no
more walking. Yes to a towel folded like a bunny on our bed (always exciting to see the origami
towels!), yes to Ghirardelli chocolates (I mean, they’re right there for you and so shiny and so
unwrappable), and yes to that firm pillow I had carefully selected. Good night.
The last two full days of the trip involved more of the same. Impressive shows - Aladdin and
another Disney musical spectacular, running on the outdoor track (super interesting on a moving
boat with the ocean surrounding you and the mist from the waves mixing with your sweat),
games of Bingo, activities at the Kids’ Club, some fancy meals, some flip-flops and bathing suit
with a cover-up meals, lots of banana ice cream from the soft serve machines on the Pool Deck,
water sliding, hair braiding, searches for Hidden Mickeys all over the ship and tons of family
time. Oh, and another highlight – exchanging knowing glances with my husband as we watched
other overstimulated children have meltdowns (not our precious angels) and their parents react
through gritted smiles with I paid thousands of dollars for this vacation. You’re going to have
the best week of your life!! Again, not our darling daughters. They would never dream of losing
their cool.

6. As we sailed back towards home, the temperature dropped again. We spent the last night
enjoying our final dinner and a sendoff show. The girls hugged our dining room servers who
they grew to adore after a week of food pampering – the waitstaff literally cuts the kids’ meat at
the table! They brought them extras of everything from crayons to bread to desserts! They did
magic tricks and had new riddles each day. They took our pictures and took pictures with us!
With content bellies, we headed back to the room to finish packing our suitcases full of laundry,
the collection of Ghirardelli squares we amassed throughout the week and any Disney branded
items that weren’t nailed down, and hence up for grabs from our room– notepads, pens,
toiletries, etc. Our suitcases were tagged and left in the hallway before we went to bed for the
night.
The last morning went quickly. We were already docked in NYC when we woke up to our alarm
clock set for 6am. We waved goodbye to our room, ate our last breakfast (much earlier than
usual and much more limited!) and sadly disembarked Disney Magic.
So, what’s the verdict on our cruise?
m-i-c See ya real soon k -e-y Why? Because we like you m-o-u-s-e.
Maybe I’ll even buy a second Disney shirt for the cruise that we just booked for next
November….