Bullying is common in schools, with about 2-3 students feeling afraid in the average classroom and 4.5-6.5 bullying incidents occurring per hour on the playground. Bullying peaks in middle school and includes physical, verbal, relational aggression and intimidation related to race, religion, gender or sexuality. Bullies seek power and control while victims experience lowered self-esteem and academic and physical health issues. Most students witness bullying as bystanders but are afraid to intervene due to fears of retaliation or not knowing what to do. Bystanders play an important role and can choose to assist, reinforce, or defend against bullying.

1. BULLYING ADAPTED FROM PREVENTING BULLYING AND HARASSMENT BY SALLY STOKER, MSW Mr. Schwartz, School Psychologist

2. Did you know? In the average elementary classroom, 2 to 3 students feel afraid on a regular basis. On the playground there are on average 4.5-6.5 bullying incidences per hour. Six out of 10 teens witness bullying and harassment at least once per day. 36% of elementary students and 5% of high school students who are bullied report it to adults. Bullying peaks in middle school.

3. Cyber Bullying 42% of kids have been bullied while online. One in 4 have had it happen more than once. 35% of kids have been threatened online. Nearly 1 in 5 have had it happen more than once. 58% admit someone has said mean or hurtful things to them online. More than 4 out of 10 has happened more than once.

4. Definition of Bullying: A person is being bullied or victimized when he or she is exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more persons.

5. Normal Conflict Vs. Bullying Equal power or friends Happens occasionally Accidental Not serious Equal emotional reaction Not seeking power or attention Not trying to get something Remorse-takes responsibility Effort to solve the problem Imbalance of power, not friends Repeated negative actions Purposeful Serious with threat of physical or emotional harm Strong emotional reaction from victim; little or no reaction from bully Seeking power, control Attempts to gain power No remorse-blames victims No effort to solve problems

6. Forms of Bullying & Harassment Physical aggression Verbal aggression Non-verbal aggression Intimidation Racial, religious, and ethnic harassment Sexual harassment Sexual orientation harassment Electronic/cyber bullying Hazing Dating violence

7. The Players Bullies Victims/Targets Bystanders

8. Characteristics of bullies Value the rewards that aggression can bring Lack empathy and compassion Lack guilt and blame the victim Like to be in charge and to dominate Aggressive role models Think in unrealistic ways: have thinking errors

9. Common thinking errors Everyone should always go my way I don’t care if I hurt other people I shouldn’t have to follow rules or do boring things Lying can keep you out of trouble I never make mistakes and things are never my fault Irrational thinking…

10. Consequences of bullies?

11. Types of victims Most typical & recognizable type of victim Non-assertive and submissive Provokes others: is argumentative & aggressive Instigates conflict to gain negative attention Easily emotionally aroused Poor impulse control Passive Victims Proactive Victims

12. The downward spiral of victimization Repeated bulling… Lowered self-esteem… More ineffective responses… More bullying… Increased disapproval/avoidance by peers… Self-blaming, “I deserve it...” Helplessness… More bullying…

13. Consequences for victims?

14. Consequences for victims… Academic: lowered academic achievement, impaired concentration, dislike of school… Physical: frequent illnesses, anxiety, stomachaches, sleep difficulties… Emotional: lowered self-esteem, hypersensitivity, nervousness, worry, feelings of isolation…

15. Is there a group of students we are forgetting?

16. Bystanders Most ignored and underused resource in schools The silent majority (the caring majority): approximately 85% of a school population Become desensitized over time Diminished empathy

17. Why don’t they get involved? Fear of retaliation Don’t know what to do Afraid they’ll make things worse Worry about losing social status Don’t believe that adults will help Don’t believe it is their responsibility

18. Roles of bystanders Assistants: join in the bullying Reinforcers: give positive feedback to the bully Outsiders: stay away, do nothing Defenders: do something to stop the bullying

19. Consequences of bystanders Feelings of anxiety and guilt Lowered sense of self-respect/confidence Development of a sense of personal powerlessness Diminished sense of empathy

20. “ Get up, stand up: stand up for your rights, Get up, stand up: don’t give up the fight!” –Bob Marley Taking a stand… Any positive behavior that supports the caring majority or caring community…

21. Strategies for bystanders… Normalize fears and worries Emphasize strength in numbers Learn skills and strategies to take a stand Brainstorm all sources of help at school: teachers, social worker, a.p., principal… Different ways to obtain help: anonymously, by yourself, in a group…

22. Self-talk Use positive self-talk to maintain a positive self-esteem during a bullying situation Rehearse mental strategies to avoid getting hooked by the bully Think positive statements about self and accomplishments

23. Additional Strategies…

24. Dilemmas Your walking down the hallway and you witness someone shoving a friend of yours. What do you do? Before class begins you hear someone making fun of the person next to you. What do you do? You are hanging out with your group of friends during the weekend and your friends begin teasing a member of the group. What do you do?

25. Social Story Most people have witnessed bullying during their schooling. When I see someone being made fun of I try to do something. Sometimes I tell an teacher, principal, or parent. When I feel bold, I immediately speak up and try to intervene. The more I stand up the easier it becomes.

26. In the future… Contact your parent, sibling, coach, teacher, Mr. Schwartz, Mrs. Weldon, Mr. Meyer, Ms. Motsenbocker… with questions and concerns.