Presentation by R Khan at the University of Birmingham IPV Conference 2/3/18

1.
Understanding the role of honour, shame and izzat in South Asian
experiences of domestic abuse
March 2nd 2018
Rafiyah Khan, Research Associate
University of Birmingham, UK @Rafis_Tweets
R.Khan@bham.ac.uk

2. Domestic Abuse
‘Any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive,
threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16
or over who are, or have been, intimate partners or family members
regardless of gender or sexuality’
□Psychological
□Physical
□Sexual
□Financial
□Emotional

3. South Asian
□ 19% South Asian population in Birmingham
□ South Asian refers to people from the Indian sub-continent which
includes Pakistan, India, Bangladesh, Sri-Lanka and Nepal
□ Over 3 Million people identify as British South-Asian in the UK
– 1.45 million British Indian and 1.17 million British Pakistani

4. Honour, shame and Izzat
□ Honour & Shame
– Intertwined dualistic concepts
‘Honour relates to the behaviour expected of members of a particular
community, while shame is associated with transgressions against these
expectations’ (Gill and Brah, 2014)
□ Izzat
– Origins in Urdu and used in South Asian communities
‘A range of sociocultural relationships and ties that bind family and
community groups together’ (Gill and Brah, 2014)

5. Culture
□ Cultures of Honour
– Collectivism
– Traditional gender norms
– Masculine honour and feminine shame
❑ Family structures
– Extended family
– The ‘aunty’ phenomenon
□ Defending honour

6. Honour Based Abuse (HBA)
❑No statutory definition of HBA
An incident or crime involving violence, threats or violence, intimidation, coercion
or abuse (including psychological, physical, sexual, financial or emotional abuse),
which has or may have been committed to protect or defend the honour of an
individual, family and/or community for alleged or perceived breaches of the
family and/or communities code of behaviour (CPCC, 2015-2018)

7. The Present Study
□ Lack of research exploring the perspectives of South Asian men and women
in relation to honour
□ Research and services focus on IPV and forced marriage
Aim: To understand the impact of honour, shame and izzat on the lives of
young British South Asians
□ 8 in-depth semi-structured interviews were conducted with men and women
aged between 18 and 24
□ Participants were recruited using a convenience sample through community
groups
□ Thematic Analysis (Braun and Clarke, 2006)

8. Findings
Infantilisation
of Women
Sexualised Bodies
A woman's
word
An
Audience

9. Theme 1: Infantilisation of Women
I think some people have
been locked up because
the outside world is not for
them basically and I think
that’s why some parents
don’t allow their daughters
or women to go out after
certain times because they
know what the world is like
they know what the outside
world is like
If we were set so free I don’t know what we
would be like. It’s like, it makes us who we are,
it gives us our separate type of rules to follow
and always think about things
It makes me feel
kind of happy
because I’ve got a
brother to protect
me, I’ve got a
brother to kind of
guide me from
right and wrong
When my mum sees other girls and you know they look innocent
that’s fine to her, they look innocent, they act innocent that’s fine
it’s kind of what they want from us. They want us to look innocent
and act innocent.
• Innocence and naiveté
• Women require protection
• Boundaries and restrictions were necessary
• Identity formation
• Freedom?
I’ve got two younger sisters and obviously I look after them, I’ve
got a younger brother but I don’t care about my younger brother
as much as I care about my younger sisters because when your
parents get a girl in the house , it’s like everyone has to look after
the girl, she’s a girl, she’s the girl of the house

10. Theme 2: Sexualised Bodies
It’s my izzat at the
end of the day. I’m
not going to give it
out cheap and I’m
not going to go
dating millions of
guys just to find the
perfect one because
every one that I go
past, my izzat’s
going to go down a
certain percentage
If you’re a decent, respectful girl, you don’t
want people to call you names, you don’t
want people to say stuff to you so just be
strict with who you are you know, what you
do, what you’re wearing, what you look like
When it come to the way I dress, they were
kind of forceful in that sense, well go out, do
what you want but make sure you’re
dressed appropriately because if you’re
dressed appropriately we know you’re not in
certain, you’re not in certain danger, you’re
not being in certain places
They look at me and see innocence
then because they know I’ve got the
headscarf on
• Strong association between clothing and
respect and sexual availability
• Women embody honour
• Izzat as a physical commodity
• Virginity and sexual purity
• Public shaming
Your izzat is like your chest so you’ve
probably heard like older women saying that
to you oh cover your izzat

11. Theme 3: A woman’s word
She would say I’m a girl and it’s all about my izzat
I think it’s harder for the women
because every little thing, everyone
picks up on especially in Pakistani
culture
But most women these
days with respect it’s the
fact that they are seen
as the dominant force in
families but the moment
that they go out and do
something wrong it’s all
downhill for them
The woman is the izzat of a house
• Women exerting control
• The role of women within
the family
• Female behaviour
scrutinised
• Generational differences
• Domesticated women
I’ve spent five years studying, why
shouldn’t I work as a dentist two days
a week but you get the elderly
generation ladies being like no that’s
wrong, that’s our izzat, that you’re
bringing shame to it, you’re not
taking care of your kids properly and
that might be the best mother you
could even find in this planet but they
just think no she’s not good enough
because she’s going out then she’s
neglecting her children
Every time a male does something
it’s more female orientated
it’s a woman’s definition I guess… yeah, it’s
the women that mention it to me

12. Theme 4:An Audience
That’s what the honour sort of thing is to
our parents, to people of our culture, it’s
all about other people it’s not really about
them it’s not really how they feel about
their selves, it’s more about how, what
other people feel about them and what
other people are going to say about them
It’s not even just to please my parents because who do
my parents want to please? They want to please a: the
community and b: the cousins
• Portraying an image for an audience
• Physical representations of their
parents
• Role of the audience in shaping
outcomes
• Negotiating around this awareness
My izzat would affect my family’s
izzat. I just think I’m not my
parents, we’re different people
we have different experiences…
they would say that my actions
are like my crimes I guess are a
part of them because they are the
ones who raised me
Izzat is the main excuse my parents give for
discipline I guess is the best way… so what
I mean is that when it comes to any wrong
action, rather than explain why it’s wrong,
it’s usually said how would other people see
it …to me yes it’s all about Image

13. Physical & Verbal Abuse
With them being abusive towards us they probably feel like they’re
showing their authority and showing us that they’re boss but then to
me I think it sort of messes with our heads and we think well do you
know what if you think you can hit me do whatever you like you’ve
done the worse to me you’ve hit me so what more can you do?
She couldn't help herself like slapped me a
few times about it and starts saying to me
where were you? Tell me the truth, where
were you? Do you not care about what
people are going to think? Do you not care
and okay, I know it was late yes it was late
but if I went out it's not such a big thing and
the way my mum took it in was totally
extreme and there was all sorts of
questions she kept throwing at me and just
questioning herself as well thinking about
so much and due to her anger she did kind
of hit me a few times about it
Because she’s a woman and she
wanted the divorce, they look
down on her for it and they did
actually start saying really bad
things about her and calling her
like a characterless woman

14. Anxiety & Fear
I’m scared a: where I live, my neighbours,
all that, what they’d come back and say and
b: the cousins, the families, what they’d
come back and say or think of me and you
know putting the whole family down is
something I’m quite scared to do
I want to obviously be a good daughter and
listen to them but sometimes it makes me feel
like I want to do the complete opposite just to
make them realise that what you do for the sake
of your izzat it’s not really good, you are messing
with our heads
Because of the reaction's they
give, they do scare you and
you think twice before doing
anything because you just
think, I don't want to get
battered again, I don't want to
get sworn at again
Imagine if that girl ran away and she’s got younger sisters, who’s
going to marry them?

15. Restrictions & Control
They let the male have enough time to grow out of that
character and they just think of it as yeah he's going
through a phase he's just being a typical boy they let
him grow out of it whereas with the female I don't think
they will let her grow out of it. I suppose they see it as
‘we need to stop it, we need to control it, it's going to get
out of hand’
For us brothers it was to get a
good job, a high paying things like
a doctor, dentist stuff like that.
None of us are doctors and
dentists though but for my sister it
was just I guess to be a
housewife was all they wanted…
We generally didn’t leave our
parents with much, I said that if
you’re not going to let her go to
university, I don’t intend to go to
college and our brothers said
similar things
I think a female that is very
independent, goes out there, she’s
working she knows what she’s doing
and she’s in control of stuff, it’s seen
as a threat
She did take my phones off me and
she was saying she was going to get
my phones checked

16. Conclusions
□ Provided insight into the daily experiences of honour, shame and
Izzat for young men and women from British Asian communities
□ Highlighted role of the family and community in fostering an
abusive environment for women
□ Honour, shame and izzat as empowering
□ The need for a better understanding of family violence within
domestic abuse frameworks
□ Are current services appropriate?

17. References
□ NPCC (2015). Honour based Abuse, Forced Marriage and Female Genital Mutilation: a
policing strategy for England, Wales and Norther Ireland – Eradicating Honour based Abuse,
Force and Female Genital Mutilation Together
□ Home Office (2012) Cross-government Definition of Domestic Violence – a Consultation:
Summary of Responses. Home Office, London
□ Braun, V. & Clarke, V. (2006). Using thematic analysis in psychology. Qualitative Research in
Psychology, 3 (2), 77-101
□ Gill, A. K., & Brah. A. (2014). Interrogating cultural narratives about ‘honour’-based violence.
European Journal of Women’s Studies, 21(1), 72-86.
□ Gilbert, P. Gilbert, J. & Sanghera, J. (2004). A focus group exploration of the impact of izzat,
shame, subordination and entrapment on mental health and service use in South Asian
women living in Derby. Mental Health, Religion & Culture, 7, (2) 109-130