learning to be a poker player in sin city aka Las Vegas

1. PUSHING THE LIMITS EDITED BY JONATHAN THOMPSON & JOE MACKIE
Once in Vegas’s 40 million
a Lifetime
tourists a year gamble
an average of
Learn
$556 (£314) each
to play
poker in
Vegas
WHAT
Learning the king of
all card games – No
Limits Texas Hold
‘Em – at a pro poker
school in the
gambling capital of
the world
WHEN
Test a 24/7 city,
Vegas never sleeps.
Ever. But flights are
significantly
cheaper during the
winter months
WHY
Tell your mental
limits, feel the fear
and the adrenaline
rush and live these
James Bond fantasies
HOW
Virgin Holidays
(virginholidays.com)
offers a four day trip
to Las Vegas from
£989 per person,
for departures in
November. This
price includes direct
flights from Gatwick,
three nights at The
Venetian (venetian.
com) and car hire.
HOUSE
To book poker
lessons with Roy
“The Oracle”
OF CARDS
Winston, visit
oraclepoker.net.
For more contact
the Las Vegas
Convention and Think you’ve got what it takes to win in
Visitors Authority Sin City? MH’s Jonathan Thompson lays
(visitlasvegas.co.uk). his cards on the table and goes for broke
Photography Mark Chilvers
menshealth.co.uk/downtime NOVEMBER 2008 MEN’S HEALTH 0O0

2. ADVENTURE
I
know the fat man is bluffing the moment The fourth, penultimate
he looks me in the eyes. I check my cards community card is
known as the Turn
again. Yes, there’s still an Ace and a Jack
– face down on the red baize, silently goading
me into action. I wait, trying to control my
hammering heart, savouring the excitement of
the moment. Looking straight at him, I shove my
entire pile of chips into the middle of the table:
“All in”. His face drops, followed by his worthless
cards. I’ve just won my first big poker hand.
I’m ecstatic. Just 36 hours earlier, I’d
touched down in the gambling Valhalla that
is Las Vegas with $1,000 cash, and not the
faintest clue how to play this game. And now
here I am, a complete novice, taking money off
an experienced player in my first professional Gambling legalised Vegas
tournament. It’s a small victory in the scheme
of things, but a very sweet one.
in ’31. Now it’s the betting
capital of the world “In poker, an average
There’s always been something roguish
player can be king
– he can beat the
and very sexy about poker, and it’s amplified
Jonathan “The Turtle”
exponentially here in Las Vegas – the city with Thompson plays a tight
best in the world”
a neon heart. This is the stuff Han Solo and aggressive strategy
James Bond-infused boyhood dreams are
made of and I, a 30-year-old poker virgin, am
still pinching myself under the table.
CONSULTING THE ORACLE
On the orders of Morgan, the MH editor,
I’m gambling with $1,000 (£560) of my own
money, in order to make this experience
“real”. And, “real” is how it feels – as real as
my sizeable overdraft clocking up interest;
as real as my girlfriend’s ire if I come home
having spent my half of the mortgage.
Fortunately, I have an ace up my sleeve.
For the duration of my four-day stay in Sin
City, I’ve booked myself in for intensive poker
lessons with one of the world’s top players
– and teachers – Dr Roy “The Oracle” Winston.
Roy, who has made over $2.5m (£1.4m)
from poker since turning professional two
years ago, would probably be referred to as
a “Jack of all Trades”, if he wasn’t so good SIN CITY
at them all. A qualified physician, former Naval A guide to the famous Las Vegas Strip and its key Hotel-Casinos
Commander and advisor on NASA’s space playing No Limits Texas Hold ‘Em, known as three face-up community cards, or “The Flop”.
shuttle programme, with a model for an the “Cadillac” of poker – and I have already Another round of betting and folding ensues,
ex-wife, “King of all Suits” would be a been signed up for my first tournament the before the pattern repeats itself with the fourth
more suitable soubriquet. And his following day. community card (“The Turn”) and, finally, the
teaching style works. One of his fifth (“The River”). The object is either to have
AS
students, Dennis Phillips, will take V EG GIVE HIM A BIG HAND the strongest set of five cards at The River
a seat at the Final Table of the L AS “Don’t worry,” Roy reassures me. “What (which is where the Flush, Straight and Full
World Series of Poker this month. makes poker so appealing is that you can win House all come in) or to bluff your opponents
At 9am on day one I set off to even with the worst hand. If you’re an average into believing it, and surrendering the pot.
see The Oracle at one of Vegas’s golfer, you could play Tiger Woods every day “Play the players and the cards,” explains
grandest hotels, The Venetian. and never beat him. An average player can be Roy. “When you’re not playing a hand, watch
After his initial surprise that King – he can beat the best in the world. There’s your opponents the whole time, noting how
I really didn’t know a flush from always that element of doubt – and luck.” they’re responding to situations, and storing
a straight, or a full house from After three hours, I master the essentials: that information to use against them.”
four of a kind, the affable each player is dealt two cards face down, or Despite expert tuition, I still feel out of my
Californian calmly takes me “in the hole”, and bets on the likelihood of them depth, as if hidden cameras are filming me for
through the basics: starting with the Dr Roy “The Oracle” forming the basis of a winning hand. Those an episode of Faking It. Which wouldn’t be so
hierarchy of winning hands, followed Winston can deal unwilling to wager on their hole cards fold (throw bad if the wad of US dollars, hidden in my shoe,
with any hand
by betting strategy. I’m going to be their cards away). The dealer then introduces hadn’t come from my own bank account. ᮣ
0O0 MEN’S HEALTH NOVEMBER 2008 menshealth.co.uk/downtime menshealth.co.uk/downtime NOVEMBER 2008 MEN’S HEALTH 0O0

3. ADVENTURE
During our lesson the following morning,
PRO POKER PROPS Roy runs through tactics. I’m to play the
A pick of the best home poker gear, selected by Erica Schoenberg tournament “Tight Aggressive”: in other words,
– former model, volleyball player and US poker pro not playing unless I have a strong hand, and
then betting heavily, to dominate other players.
SUNGLASSES
1 £115 Police “You need to think like the turtle,” says
davidclulow.com Roy. “Slow, patient and controlled will win the
“It might look a bit race.” I think he means the tortoise, but I’m
cliché, but sunglasses not going to quibble with The Oracle.
are still the best way
to disguise your
NAVIGATING THE RIVER
eyes, and a big help
That evening, I cross the Strip to the Treasure
in Tell-proofing your CLAY POKER
poker face. The
3 CHIPS Island Casino for my first big tournament.
darker and more £10 for 100 chips, Wearing one of Roy’s “Full Tilt Poker” caps low
reflective the better.” Viva Vegas over my forehead, I feel like a boxer entering the
Entertainment ring, coach by my side whispering advice.
BICYCLE CARDS vivavegas.co.uk There are 27 players arranged at three,
2 “Clay chips are more
£2.99 Chess nine-strong tables and I set my sights,
and Bridge ltd durable and heavier
– and better for realistically, on 26th position. After all,
londonpokershop.com
“Bicycle cards have a shuffling. These sets yesterday morning my definition of a “full
silky smooth feel and are casino quality and house” was when all four of my siblings, plus
just glide over each can be customised.” partners, were at home for Christmas and
other amazingly. there weren’t enough beds to go round.
They exude class and AUTOMATIC As we settle into our positions, Roy informs
quality - I’ve never 4
CARD SHUFFLER me that the two favourites are both at my table
played with anything £6.66 Argos – a young John Candy lookalike opposite me,
better.” argos.co.uk and a shifty man in his sixties on my immediate
“A great idea to keep
left, his fingers dripping in gold rings.
up the speed of your
game – and an anti- I’m terrified. Not just by the amount of money
cheat mechanism if involved, but by the probing glares, and the
you don’t know your alien etiquette of this new environment. But
fellow players as well then, in the very first hand, something truly
as you should.” serendipitous happens. The man on my right
ERICA IS SPONSORED BY FULL TILT POKER, FULLTILTPOKER.COM.
goes “all in” against Young John Candy (he
TABLETOP wagers his entire chip stack on The River) and
5
£55 Viva Vegas YJC wins. My neighbour is eliminated and I
Entertainment
cannot finish lower than 26th. Result!
vivavegas.co.uk
“To recreate a Vegas I sit tight, like the turtle, and only stick my
atmosphere, chip head out of my shell when I’m strong enough
and drink holders add to play. But when I am, I win some chips. By the
a touch of first break in play, I have a healthy stack in front
professionalism.” of me and am one of 22 survivors. The Oracle
– who has been watching – leans over and
offers me valuable advice: “When that big kid
has a good hand, he looks at the ceiling. When
he’s bluffing, he looks at the guy he’s up against.”ᮣ
TELL-TALE TELLS
Keep your eyes
peeled for these
common “Tells”
and gain the upper
hand in your
next poker game.
Courtesy of
leading US player
1. Eyes A quick, 2. Hand motion 3. Vital signs A fast 4. Continued 5. Mouth movement
Dr Roy “The
furtive look at hole Rubbing of the hands heart rate and heavy activity A player While betting and
Oracle” Winston.
cards or the Flop can or touching their face breathing indicates who is talking and raising, many players
indicate strength. usually suggests a of a strong hand. continues while make subconscious
After the Flop, looking weak hand. When Study necks for betting or raising, or movements with
straight at their chips their hand is strong, pulses, and watch takes a drink in a their mouths. Look
or opponents implies you may detect a them breathe then critical moment, is out for a slight smirk,
PIC CREDIT HERE
strength. Long stares slight shakiness in follow the difference usually strong and which usually
indicate weakness. their hands. when they play. trying to look natural. equates to strength.
0O0 MEN’S HEALTH NOVEMBER 2008 menshealth.co.uk/downtime menshealth.co.uk MONTH 2008 MEN’S HEALTH 0O0

4. ADVENTURE
Jonathan masks Crazy Horse Paris at the
his face to MGM Grand Hotel is great
hide any Tells after a night of Hold ‘Em
The 4.5 mile Strip has THE WINNING HANDS
some of the world’s best The Top 10 hands in No
restaurants and hotels Limit Texas Hold Em
ROYAL FLUSH
STRAIGHT FLUSH
FOUR OF A KIND
FULL HOUSE
Within 10 minutes of the re-start, the cards fall Oracle. Over the next three days, Roy teaches
per fectly. With the Ace and Jack in the hole, me every morning, and in the afternoons
FLUSH
and the Oracle’s wisdom echoing in my ears, and evenings I play in cash games and
I take YJC’s nonchalant stare as a green light tournaments at other iconic Vegas venues,
– and help myself to his chips. from The Mirage to The Venetian itself. I lose
my winnings, then win them back, then lose
LUCK OF THE DRAW even more. But the more I play, the more STRAIGHT
One by one the players fall, and somehow I enjoy it, and the more I can understand the
I survive. Each time I get a decent hand (a high addictive nature of the intense adrenaline
pair or an ace paired with anything above a 10), injection each time a hand is dealt. Before, I
it feels like I’m being strapped into the front of had always dismissed poker as just another THREE OF A KIND
a roller coaster and, hoping that nobody can card game, but I swiftly appreciate that it bears
see my pulse trying to force itself out of my neck more than a passing resemblance to a number
and chest, I place my bets and hang on tight. of sports, from the endurance of long distance
A lawyer from New York goes all in against me, running to the precise strikes of fencing, and TWO PAIR
but with my Ace-high Straight I clean him out. The even cricket-style sledging.
Tight Aggressive strategy is paying dividends. Roy had warned me that luck becomes less
Soon, there are nine of us left – the Final of a factor the more you play, and he was right.
Table. There is still time for one last, glorious By the end of my four days living the high life
ONE PAIR
victory as I go head to head with Goldfinger and playing the high stakes of No Limit Texas
and – to our mutual surprise - knock him out, Hold ‘Em, I have bet all of my $1,000 chips.
PHOTOGRAPHY MARK CHILVERS
before an Ace and a nine isn’t enough and I have $225 in my “winnings” pile as I head
I bow out in sixth place, with a $100 prize. It to the airport, strangely euphoric for a man
HIGH CARD
isn’t a King’s ransom, but tonight – my first who has just lost $775. But turtles have a
PIC CREDIT HERE
night at the table – I feel like a winner. Never long lifespan, and there are plenty of casinos
mind the tortoise, I am now The Turtle, and in London. I’m sure I can win it all back before
head out to celebrate over Martinis with The my girlfriend finds out… I MH
0O0 MEN’S HEALTH NOVEMBER 2008 menshealth.co.uk/downtime menshealth.co.uk MONTH 2008 MEN’S HEALTH 0O0