The 6 secrets of a lasting relationship by philip a powerful beacon of hope for all loving relationships
The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship by Philip Goldberg A Powerful Beacon Of Hope For All Loving RelationshipsIn reality we dont fall out of love, writes Mark Goulston, M.D. Rather, lovefalls out of us, like the floors of a building whose foundation crumbles. Ifyoure in a relationship that has lost its magic, The 6 Secrets of a LastingRelationship aims to rekindle your heart by teaching you a process ofexamining, discussing, and fixing your relationship. The first letters ofeach of the six secrets make the acronym CREATE: chemistry, respect,enjoyment, acceptance, trust, and empathy. Goulston maintains thatrelationship problems are caused by a breakdown in one or more of theseelements, but if you strengthen the supporting structure in theseoverlapping areas, you can restore your passion and romance anddiscover a new, mature love that surpasses in depth and intimacy all yourromantic memories. Whatever the specific problems in your relationship,he says, improving these six areas will help restore your bond. The 6Secrets of a Lasting Relationship is like couples therapy in a book. Youand your partner will want to work through specific chapters together,
which youll return to often for guidance. Youll learn warning signs that yourrelationship is in trouble in one or more of these areas, how tocommunicate about it, and how to repair and renew the relationship.Goulston includes self-tests, exercises, and many anecdotes that i llustratehis points. Eye-catching quotes pepper the chapters, such as, Love is theanswer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some prettygood questions, (Woody Allen) and Men always want to be a womans firstlove--women like to be a mans last romance (Oscar Wilde). Goulston is aboard-certified psychiatrist and a well-known relationship advisor who hasconducted 10,000-plus hours of couples therapy. Goulston and coauthorPhilip Goldberg also wrote Get out of Your Own Way. --Joan PricePersonal Review: The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship byPhilip GoldbergFrom: www.BasilAndSpice.comAuthor & Book Views On A Healthy Life!Book Review: The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship: How to Fall in LoveAgain and Stay There (Perigree, 2001) by Mark Goulston, MD with PhilipGoldbergA Classic FeatureDr. Mark Goulston is a former UCLA professor who helps high performingleaders, senior management and sales people reach their full potentialusing skills he learned training FBI and police hostage negotiators. He hasalso written Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-DefeatingBehavior, Get Out of Your Own Way at Work, and PTSD for Dummies.The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship has received praise from JohnGray, Ph.D. and Harold H. Bloomfield, M.D. The book is based on morethan 10,000 hours of couples therapy and has been developed into sixsecrets for keeping your relationship together: 1. Keep the chemistry burning. 2. Treat your partner with respect--and earn his or her respect. 3. Dont stop thinking about enjoyment. 4. Give one another acceptance despite your flaws. 5. Deserve each others trust. 6. Always keep in touch with empathy."The structure of an intimate relationship rests on six pillars, which are thecore of each of the six secrets." 1. C--chemistry (Sex; Romance; Discusses the painful secrets someindividuals keep; Tells why we need to feel physically connected. Answerswhy chemistry waxes, then wanes--explains how to bring this importantelement back into the relationship.)
2. R--respect (This is where affairs sometimes begin. Warning signs ofdisrespect highlighted. Tells how to respect yourself and your partner.) 3. E--enjoyment (There is a need for laughter. Defines how baggagehinders enjoyment.) 4. A--acceptance (Teaches how to avoid criticism, contempt,defensiveness, stonewalling--leading predictors in the failure of couples.Elucidates upon what to do if you cant quite accept your partner. Alsoteaches how to find acceptance.) 5. T--trust (Implies faith and confidence and is required for emotionalintimacy. Details how to restore trust.) 6. E--empathy (Attempt to view the situation from your partners point ofview. Learn how to move from debate and animosity to dialogue andunderstanding. Empathy heals wounds.)Dr. Goulston writes that breakdowns in a relationship occur when anelement of the pillars is shaky--they need regular reinforcement. Stress onthe pillars is a result of marriage, child-rearing, financial problems, long-term bond of two single people, or even work. The author believes that youshouldnt feel like a victim, instead take the initiative to create the "love youdeserve."By reading The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship, you should learn howto have: * Renewed involvement with each other * Revived enthusiasm four your relationship * A stronger sense of partnership and commitment * An atmosphere of healing * A greater capacity to solve problems effectively * Deepened intimacy and tenderness * Enhanced mutual understanding * Freedom from guilt and blame * A more durable bond * A reawakening of loveUsing a no-blame, no-fault, no-nonsense approach and couples therapystories as examples, this book is well written for couples to read and actupon together. Dr. Goulston also includes throughout blocks of UsableInsight and questionnaires as evaluation tools. The 6 Secrets of a LastingRelationship is a classic which should be read by all couples, especiallythose who are in a shaky, rocky, or separating marriage and by those whoare preparing to enter one. If your relationship is in trouble, find out why.Mark Goulstons 6 Secrets is Usable Insight into the reasons problemsbegin and will help you overcome existing marital difficulties and evenpoint you to further help if necessary. And, if youre happily married, you,like myself, can gain a better understanding of your spouse and marriage.5 Stars
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